Keep The Faith
by Akasha617
Summary: Sequel to 'Living on a Prayer', Babe story. Sometimes past decisions come back to bite you in the butt...Now Complete
1. Chapter 1

This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

I was insprired by all your wonderful reviews for 'Living on a Prayer', so thank you again.

Muchas gracias to Stayce for suffering through my whining, slapping me when I needed it, and editing.

Please, please, let me know what you think, if it's on the right track, if you hate it, whatever you think!

Keep the Faith

Sequel to Living on a Prayer

Chapter 1

"So where're you goin'?" Lula put down her half-eaten doughnut and stared at me. I shrugged. She was sitting next to me on the faux leather couch, holding her doughnut in one hand and her coffee in the other.

"I don't know about the where so much, I just kind of…you know…need a break." I waved my hand. And if I'd stuttered a little less, my friends might even believe me. Mental grimace.

Okay, so I didn't really have a plan. I just knew I needed to leave town.

This morning, I'd gotten a phone call that made the decision for me.

About six months ago, I sort of maybe promised a local mob boss that I owed him a favor. I'd needed a place to stay and he'd offered his suite in Atlantic City, and I said yes without giving the consequences any thought.

And this morning, he'd phoned to call it in. The favor, that is. Well, Harry the Hammer hadn't called himself, one of his associates, as he called himself, had. Mario Guzzarella. I'd never heard of him, but he knew the details and I hadn't told a soul about 'the deal', so he had to be the real deal.

And that's just the latest dilemma I, Stephanie Plum, have gotten myself into. Every time, I hope it's the last time I get into trouble, but really, I know better by now. Joe Morelli once called me a magnet for disaster. He was right.

Of course, he said that before we started dating, so I didn't know if he still thought so later on. Joe was killed about six months ago and my phone call to Harry the Hammer had been a direct result of that. And I thought it made perfect sense that I didn't care what I promised at the time, it was pretty traumatic. It had been vague, too. Harry'd let me use his hotel suite in exchange for a favor 'to be named later', so I'd agreed without hesitating.

Nevertheless, here it was, Harry calling in his marker.

I looked up from my doughnut to see both Lula and Connie looking at me expectantly. I knew they wanted more. They weren't just colleagues, they were friends. And friends had a right to _all_ the dirt.

Except I might have forgotten to tell them about this part. Lula knew through Tank that I'd been in Atlantic City, but she didn't know I'd been staying in a penthouse suite in the Taj Mahal. I wasn't sure exactly how much Tank had told her, but he wasn't known for talking about work in general. After the excitement was over. I'd filled them in on some of the details, but I conveniently forgot to mention Harry the Hammer. Apparently, his daughter, Vinnie's wife Lucille, had never told him about the call I made to her asking for Harry's number, at least Vinnie had never asked me about it.

I shrugged. "Not much going on here, I figured now would be a good time to take a vacation."

It was true to some extent, not many people were jumping bail, I'd made about $500 so far this month. If I didn't have my other job at RangeMan, I'd have to sleep under a bridge soon.

"When will you be back?" Connie interrupted my thoughts. "With Ranger gone, Vinnie depends on you, you know." She indicated the spot on her desk where the FTA files were usually waiting for me. There weren't any today, but that could change.

"I'll have my cell phone with me," I said. "Besides, I was thinking Point Pleasant, not Jamaica. I'll be around if you need me." Actually, I was thinking the exact opposite direction of the shore, but I didn't want anyone to know. Not that here was much to know since I hadn't a location in mind, but still. Connie didn't look like she believed me, but maybe I was just paranoid.

The office phone rang at that moment and I was off the hook. I glanced at my watch. "Oh, look at the time, I'm late for a dentist appointment."

I grabbed my pocketbook before Lula could realize I just ate half a dozen doughnuts without brushing my teeth afterwards and I gave Connie a finger wave. She frowned at me, probably trying to tell me she wasn't done yet, but she was talking to someone on the phone so I just smiled back at her and left.

I hustled to my car and didn't let out the breath I was holding until I peeled away from the curb. I was sure Lula and Connie were going to ask me again, but for right now, I'd escaped the Trenton inquisition.

I didn't even know why I couldn't just say, 'Look, when Joe was killed and I tried to hide from Ranger, Harry the Hammer let me use his hotel room in Atlantic City and now he wants me to return the favor'. What's the big deal, right?

Okay, I could practically see Lula's jaw hitting the floor if I said that. And Connie would suck in some air and get that knowing look she gets when the conversation turns to the Family. It wasn't so much that I was keeping it a secret; I just didn't want to deal with the reactions.

And another thing was that if I said it out loud, it would be true. If I never told anyone, I could pretend it was just a bad dream.

Yep, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

And the worst thing was that I had no idea what this favor entailed. It could be entirely legal, like maybe grocery shopping for Harry's mom. But somehow I didn't think so. My spidey-sense had tingled the moment Mario had uttered the word 'job'. I was pretty sure Harry wouldn't ask me to kill anyone, he probably had professionals for that, which was an equally disturbing thought. It was more what my imagination could come up with that scared me. Ever since the phone call, I saw myself as a Jersey version of Mata Hari. While there was a chance this returned favor was morally and legally right, I doubted it.

I was driving on autopilot, I had no idea where I was going until I turned into my apartment building's parking lot. The no-frills building looked even gloomier on a rainy day like today. And as usual, my senior neighbors had taken all the good parking spots with their handicapped stickers.

I locked my car and trekked back to the building's rear door, got my mail out of the mailbox and took the elevator upstairs. My apartment was completely quiet, since my hamster Rex was asleep in his soup can.

I plopped down on my bed in my thinking position, spread-eagle on my back, but I didn't want to think. I'd much rather forget the whole thing. Hence the vacation plans.

My first instinct after I got the phone call had been to call Ranger, and I had actually been glad I couldn't get in touch with him for the first time since he left. This was _my_ trouble, that _I_ had gotten myself into, and _I_'d be the one getting myself out of.

I rolled my eyes at myself. That would be a first. At the very least, I needed Lula's help. All by myself, my success rate wasn't that great. It was because I'd thought I was better off by myself that caused me to call Harry in the first place.

And I guess when your boyfriend is an ex-Special Forces security expert, it makes sense to ask him for help. I'd sort of forgotten to tell Ranger about that part of the deal too, but he'd understand. He'd give me 'the Look', but he'd understand.

Except, he'd accepted a very lucrative government job and was incommunicado. I didn't know if he was in Newark or New Guinea, if he was infiltrating Microsoft or Drugs 'R' Us. All he told me was that it was a government contract. And I knew that could mean a million things, but he couldn't tell me more. He also told me not to worry because he'd be fine. By telling me he'd be fine he pretty much guaranteed I'd worry myself sick, but I didn't say anything.

And that had been a week ago, I haven't heard from him since. Well, not since the morning that followed the night that followed our little talk, anyway. I smiled at the memory. I was wondering if the plan had been to leave me sore and immobile until he came back, it sure felt like that at the time. We'd made love over and over and over until we collapsed in each other's arms. I got warm just thinking about it.

And now that I _was_ thinking, I realized I really had two problems: Harry the Hammer, a man I've never dealt with but whose reputation preceded him was 'requesting my attendance at meeting', as Mario had put it.

And number two, I was missing Ranger. A lot. Ever since we'd gotten together I'd never not seen him for more than two days. It irritated me a little that I missed him so much, because that meant I was losing some of my independence. Of course I couldn't care less about my independence when Ranger _was_ around. So really, I was irritated because he was away, because that made me miss him, simple as that.

I grunted and hit the mattress with my fist. I was too agitated to sleep and I hadn't had any great thoughts in my thinking position.

What now? Should I change and drive to RangeMan to work a shift as if nothing had happened? Should I pack a bag and grab Bob and Rex and just drive?

I had to admit I mostly knew rumors about the mob, but I had a feeling Harry had ways of finding me. And really, I was acting childish, I didn't even know what the favor was yet. I could at least find out what it was and worry then.

With that resolved, I jumped up and took a shower. The queen of denial at work.

I dropped Bob off at my parents' and went to work. I gave the guys in the control room a finger wave on my way to my cubicle and turned on my PC.

My Inbox was always full when I got to work in the afternoon, and today was no exception. With a deep sigh, I picked up the first file and got started. I ran most of the searches mechanically, since I didn't know the person behind them. They were requests by Accounting or Sales, nothing exciting. I called Mary Lou while the first search was running to catch up on the latest gossip.

Since Ranger wasn't in the office, Tank was in charge. Although everyone respected Tank, conversation didn't stop dead when he entered the room, so I didn't immediately notice when he came in and stood behind me. I turned around because it was suddenly darker in my cube.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, "Did you hear from Ranger? He's not hurt, is he?" I didn't know why I was jumping to all these conclusions, probably because Tank never just 'stopped by'; he always had a reason when he talked to me.

He was smiling now. "Ranger is fine. I mean, I think he's okay, I haven't heard anything to the contrary." He studied his hands. "I need to talk to you about something…personal."

He motioned for me to follow him and went into Ranger's office. To say I was curious was an understatement. I'd never had a personal conversation with Tank before.

"So…have you talked to Lula lately?" He asked when he sat down in the executive chair behind the desk. I laughed in relief. Lula! Of course! Mental head slap. I could have really thought of that myself.

"Earlier today," I said. Tank gave me a puzzled look because I was laughing. "I stopped by the bonds office." Tank nodded but didn't say anything. He picked up a pencil and started tapping it on the desk. Was he…could it be that Tank was nervous?

"Why?" I asked when the silence stretched on for too long.

"So…tomorrow is our anniversary…we've been seeing each other for a year and…" I raised my eyebrows. Did he remember that or did Lula remind him?

"…and I got this gift for Lula, but I need a second opinion…" He stopped when he looked up and saw my expression, obviously drawing the wrong conclusion. I was shocked to have this conversation with Tank, not to have this conversation in general. I quickly put a smile on my face, I really didn't mean to make him feel uncomfortable.

"What is it? Show me," I encouraged him, so he got up and pulled a small box out of his cargos. For a moment I thought it was an engagement ring, but then he opened it to reveal a beautiful diamond stud. From its size, I was guessing two carats easily. Tank shifted his weight. "It's for her…" I looked up when he didn't finish. He swore under his breath.

"Earlobe?" I tried. Tank shook his head. "I can't believe I'm telling you this," he started again, "It's for her navel. I'm gonna ask her to have her belly button pierced with this." He exhaled and ran his hand over his bald head.

I got choked up when I looked from the earring to Tank. It wasn't just the gift; it was his insecurity over it. I didn't think tank and Lula were, I don't know, that serious. The diamond proved me totally wrong. I was happy Lula'd found a man who loved her for who she was and the way she was. She deserved it.

"It's 100 percent Lula," I assured him, "And she's gonna love it!" Tank's face lit up. "That's what I'm hoping," he said. I told him a couple more times how much Lula would like the diamond, especially as an anniversary present, before I left his office to get back to my cube.

My voicemail light was on. That was odd, because my friends and family just called my cell phone when they needed to talk to me, and everybody at RangeMan either yelled over or sent me emails.

I had to search my notes for the pass code and when I finally got through, I was surprised to hear Ranger's voice. "Babe," he said. There was a lot of background noise, I didn't know if it was the connection or something else. The noise continued for a few more seconds, but he didn't say any more.

I replayed the message half a dozen times, just in case I'd missed something, but that was all he'd said. What did this mean? Was he okay? Did something happen while he was on the phone?

I looked up, chewing my lip. Could I ask one of the guys? Maybe Tank was still in Ranger's office, I thought, and got up to find him. Tank would know.

He wasn't in Ranger's office, but I eventually found him working out in the gym.

"Something wrong?" He asked when he turned off the treadmill. As usual, my confusion was probably written all over my face.

"I need you to listen to something…tell me," I gestured wildly, "Tell me what it means." Tank frowned and reached for a towel to wipe his face. "Did you pick up another stalker?"

I shook my head 'no', although he had a point, it was a good guess. I'd been stalker free for six months now and thanked my lucky stars for it every day.

"I got a message from Ranger, only…" I chewed my lower lip, "I need you to listen to it to tell me what it means."

Tank followed me out of the gym and back to my cube. I could have accessed my voicemail from any phone in the building, but I wasn't thinking that far.

Tank listened to the message, pressed 0 to hear it again and the blank face slid into place. Probably every Merry Man got a lesson in blank face their first week with RangeMan, they all had a version of it.

"What do you think?" I finally asked when he didn't say anything. Tank rubbed his chin with his hand, obviously thinking about how to say what he thought.

"I think he called the office because he knew the lines are secure." I motioned for him to continue, trying hard not to jump up and down screaming at him to go on. "And…?"

"Probably he couldn't say more because his position was compromised," Tank finished. I raised my eyebrows. "Can you explain that for us civilians?"

Tank chuckled. "It means he called to talk to you but got interrupted. What confused you about it?" I sighed. Where to begin?

"You think he didn't call my cell phone because the call could be traced?" Tank nodded. "Why would it matter, who would trace it? Is someone monitoring his calls?" He shrugged, "It depends on the mission he's on."

"And…?" I prodded again. Getting information out of Tank was like pulling teeth. This time he almost-shrugged. He moved one shoulder a fraction of an inch. "I don't know what the job is, so I can't tell you anything about it. Ranger's fine."

"How do you know?"

"He called, didn't he?" Tank said and looked at me like I was a little slow. I sighed. I needed a female version of Tank, she'd know how to tell me what I wanted to know.

I thanked Tank and got back to work, but my mind stayed with the phone call. I hadn't heard any sounds of fighting or gunshots in the background, so Ranger may have just gotten disconnected. Maybe he was in some third world country where the phone lines were unreliable. Unfortunately that opened up a whole box of 'what if's', so it didn't exactly calm me down.

By 5:30, I had run all the searches in my Inbox, printed out the results and put them in the requestor's mailbox. I listened to Ranger's message one more time, then I logged off and gathered my things to leave.

And since I didn't feel like spending the evening alone, driving myself crazy with the message, I decided to stay at my parents' house for dinner.

Ever since Joe had died, I'd made sure I spent as much time as possible with my family. I'd learned that everything you hold dear could be taken from you at any moment, so I made sure I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Probably Bob heard my car, he rushed out to greet me when my mom opened the storm door. Grandma Mazur was right behind her.

"He ate a sofa cushion," Mom said by way of greeting. "I told her she should be glad he didn't find my prunes," Grandma Mazur snickered.

Bob pushed against me to make me pet him, then he sniffed at my pocketbook. When he realized I didn't carry anything edible, he turned around and bolted back up the stoop.

"Sorry about the cushion," I said automatically and mom made a dismissive gesture. She'd gotten used to Bob. He stayed with them two to three days a week, whenever I didn't bring him into the office. My parents' house was his second home.

"We're having stuffed cabbage tonight, are you staying for dinner?" Mom asked when I followed her into the house. I knew she'd made enough for a much larger family, and she always expected me to stay, but she still smiled when I told her I'd stay.

Dad was watching TV in the living room and Bob had taken his spot under the dining table since he knew it was dinnertime. Mom was putting the finishing touches on dinner and Grandma Mazur started setting the table. I looked from one to the other and smiled. My parents' house was where I came if I wanted a routine, no surprises. Even the chaos that Val's kids brought when they showed up for dinner was predictable.

No other part of my life was as comfortably predictable as my parents' house. I had no idea where Ranger was or what he was doing there and a mob boss wanted me to do him a favor. But tonight, there were stuffed cabbage rolls on the table and the real world would have to wait.

When I opened my apartment door two hours later, I was pleasantly anesthetized with good food. And if it wore off, I could raid the giant bag of leftovers Mom had sent me home with.

Bob went straight to the kitchen to inspect his bowls, making me laugh. Just because he'd just eaten more than a horse didn't mean he didn't have to check what food was left at home.

I said hi to Rex and gave him some peas and a chunk of the piecrust from my stash of leftovers, put the rest in the fridge and went to the answering machine that was blinking.

One phone solicitor promising me a lower rate if I refinanced my home, that was an easy delete. The second message was from Mario Guzzarella, telling me he'd pick me up tomorrow at noon. Gulp. I felt the first tendrils of panic in my stomach.

This meant I had to find a place to go between now and tomorrow. Except I was pretty sure Harry knew all about my family and friends, and he'd look for me there first.

I snorted. What was I thinking? I wasn't important enough for Harry to search high and low for me! If I wasn't here tomorrow at noon, Mario would probably leave a card with his number so I could call him. This wasn't some Godfather deal, it was just a meeting. Nothing that couldn't be postponed. I told Bob not to worry, and he seemed to believe me. Now I only had to convince myself.

I stood at the kitchen counter, chewing my lower lip, humming 'Should I stay or should I go' under my breath. Even after six months, I still felt the urge to call Morelli and get his opinion. Well, I wouldn't tell him _exactly_ what it was about, he'd been a cop after all, but I might have picked his brain about Harry the Hammer in general and Mario Guzzarella specifically.

Well, I thought, I couldn't ask Joe, but I had plenty of friends still on the force. I called one of my best friends, Eddie Gazarra.

I could hear my cousin Shirley in the background and his boys fighting, but Eddie seemed happy to hear from me. After the exchange of pleasantries, I didn't really know how to inconspicuously turn the conversation to Harry. I started by asking what he was working on and he was happy to share.

"So who's working in vice these days?" I asked afterwards, congratulating myself on the segue. "Oh, you know, Hempstead got promoted out of uniform and they added two guys from Newark. Did extensive background checks on them first though." He didn't have to explain why that was important. Thomalla had transferred from Newark the year before and had turned out to be a mole for the mob.

"Is there a lot of mob activity?" I asked, pretending to be interested in Joe's line of work. At least I hoped that's how Eddie would interpret it. He told me about a gambling ring and some dealers, but he didn't mention Harry or Guzzarella. And suddenly I felt I'd burst if I didn't tell anyone. Why I chose it to be Eddie and not Lula, Connie or Tank, I'll never know.

"Eddie, can you meet me for lunch tomorrow?" I asked. "There's something I'd like to discuss…" Thankfully, Eddie didn't ask why I couldn't tell him over the phone and agreed to meet me at Pino's the next day.

I felt better when I hung up. I didn't know if I'd go through with it and tell Eddie, but I felt like I had at least somewhat of a plan, more than I'd had before the phone call.

I took Bob out for his last tinkle, and as usual I was wondering if I should move into a row house so I'd have a backyard to let him out to. And as usual I dismissed the idea because a house would just be too much upkeep, like everyone would expect my windows to be clean at all times. Too much work.

Bob settled on his dog bed after we got back up and I did the bathroom thing and went to bed as well, even though it was barely past ten. If I stayed up, I might rethink the decision to tell Eddie and that would lead to more thinking and I'd never be able to fall asleep. So it was better to fall asleep _before_ the thinking could start.

Well, at least that had been the plan. My brain didn't let me get away with it though, I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, missing Ranger, worrying over Harry. I grunted and turned around, hoping another position might shut of my brain.

Bob was snoring softly, Rex was running on his wheel, and I kept tossing and turning. Around 2 AM, I gave up. I pulled a sweatshirt over my pyjama top, stuck my feet into a pair of sneakers, put my SEALs hat over my rat's nest of hair and stuffed my RangeMan uniform in my purse. I knew a place where I'd be able to fall asleep, I was sure of it.

At this time of night, traffic was very light. It took me less than twenty minutes to drive my RangeMan issued Explorer to Haywood Street. I parked in one of the employee spots, waved at the security camera and walked over to the elevator. God knew what the Merry Men on duty thought of me arriving at 2:30 in the morning, I really couldn't care less. And I wasn't going to explain myself, I just pressed the 7 button to get me straight up to Ranger's apartment.

The idea was that I'd be able to fall asleep surrounded by Ranger's sheets and the ghost of Ranger's scent that always lingered in his bed.

But as I stood in front of his door now, I wasn't so sure that it had been a good idea anymore. Of course now, I reasoned, I _had _to go in, because I was sure I was being watched on the security cameras. I knew that the guys followed any movement at this time of the night, since there was never much going on.

I sighed, held the key fob against the reader and let myself in. As soon as I closed the front door behind me, cool darkness enveloped me. There always seemed to be an air of peace in Ranger's apartment, too, I couldn't explain it.

I tossed my keys into the tray on the sideboard and was about to flick the light switch when I realized the light filtering in from the outside was enough for me to see my way around.

I dropped my pocketbook in the hallway and went to the kitchen to get a beer. There was no beer in Ranger's fridge, so I got a bottle of water and some cheese.

I draped my sweatshirt over one of the kitchen stools and put my hat on top while I ate. I took off my sneakers and was ready to go to bed when I heard a noise from the bedroom and froze.

Ranger's car hadn't been in his parking spot, so it was unlikely he was home. Oh God, what if one of the Merry Men had 'borrowed' Ranger's place for the night and had a girl with him in the other room? I'd die of embarrassment, I was sure of it. Then again, the Merry Men had their apartments on the fourth floor and I honestly doubted Ranger would let any of them have his place, whether he was in town or not. And all of the guys respected Ranger far too much to go behind his back.

I was still standing a few feet from the bedroom door when another thought occurred to me. What if, and I knew how unlikely it was, given all the security around here, but what if someone had broken in and was going through Ranger's stuff at this very moment?

What if they hadn't come up through the building? I wasn't sure RangeMan had cameras on the outside, what if this guy had Spider-Manned his way up the building and broken in? Maybe he knew exactly where to go to get to Ranger's files, and he wasn't after money or jewelry at all? My heart started pounding in my chest as I was trying to think of what I should do.

A soft thud broke me out of my paralysis and I slowly backed up to where I had dropped my pocketbook. I couldn't remember if I'd packed my gun, but I definitely had my mace, or at least my hairspray, in it.

Now I was glad I hadn't bothered with the lights, I would have given away my presence. With any luck, whoever it was had been too busy rummaging through Ranger's stuff to hear me and I still had the element of surprise.

I rummaged through my purse, resisting the urge to just dump it out on the floor because that would have been too noisy. My fingers finally curled around my defense spray and I had to stifle a scream of joy. I pulled it out of the purse, shook it to make sure it was live and turned back towards the bedroom door.

I grabbed my hat on the way past the stool to rein in my wild hair and tiptoed across the room until I was standing inches from the door, holding the spray in front of me with my finger on the release button.

I slowly reached for the doorknob, but before I could grasp it, the door was yanked open from the inside. Before my brain could process what my eyes were seeing, I pushed my finger down on the spray.

I started screaming when I realized I was looking into Ranger's widening eyes behind the barrel of his gun. My only conscious thought was 'Fuck!' when I saw his finger curl around the trigger.

TBC – I think

A/N: Would Ranger shoot Stephanie? Why would he even be there without telling her? Do you want to know?


	2. Chapter 2

This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

JE has her Super Jenn, I got my Stellar Stayce. Thank you so much for your help, your ideas, and your friendship!

Disclaimer: Forgot it in the first chapter…so maybe you forgot the characters are JE's and the title is Bon Jovi's? Thought so.

Smut Warning

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 2

Instinctively, I squeezed my eyes shut. I heard Ranger howl when the mace connected with his eyes, and I think I ducked, but I'm not sure. I felt a hard shove against my chest and tumbled back against a dining room chair. I tried to get a hold of it for some reason and fell with it against the dining table and landed on the floor. I took a moment to let my head clear, did a mental body scan and realized I was unharmed, so I slowly got up.

Ranger was doubled over, coughing and swearing. I must have gotten him straight in the face with the mace. He was naked except for a pair of boxers, clutching his face with his hands, still holding the gun. Had it been the other way around, I would have shot Ranger or at the very least dropped the gun, so it was sort of a lucky break I hadn't brought my gun.

I knew I should have felt bad for hurting Ranger, but I felt justified to some extent because he hadn't told me he was back. How the hell was I supposed to know it was him? And he had a gun pointed at me!! I didn't have his reflexes, by the time I'd recognized him, my trigger finger had had a mind of its own.

I snapped out of my shock and pushed Ranger back through the bedroom and into the bathroom, taking the gun out of his hand. I was a little surprised that he'd let me, but I figured he was well aware it was me. In the bathroom, I briefly considered the sink, but then I just shoved him through the open shower door and turned on the water.

Ranger gasped when the cold water hit him but didn't move out of the way, he just lifted up his face so the water would flush his eyes. If it'd been me, I would have jumped out of the shower until the water was adjusted. Ranger just stood under the flow, but I thought he might be getting too cold after a couple minutes and bent down to add some hot water.

And that's when Ranger grabbed me and pulled me into the shower with him. I shrieked and tried to struggle, but he held me in a tight grip. His face was still turned up so the water hit it straight on, and I could see how reddened his eyes and nose were.

The cold water made me shiver and a grin spread over Ranger's face as I was instantly soaked through.

He leaned his head down and whispered, "I missed you too, Babe," close to my ear. His mouth travelled from my ear down my neck and his warm touch was in stark contrast to the coldness of the water, making me shiver again.

Ranger pressed me flush against him and splayed his hand on my back while he reached around me and added hot water into the mix. My body molded against his and I could clearly feel his reaction to me pressing into my abdomen.

He looked at me with red-rimmed eyes, smiling. "Next time, work on the welcome parade though," he said. He didn't give me time to respond as he lowered his head and closed my mouth with his. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him closer against me when our tongues met. And if the kiss was any indication, he wasn't mad at me for spraying him.

It felt so good to be with him again, I never knew I could miss him so much. Heat pooled in my stomach when he ran his hands up and down my back.

We finally pulled apart, both breathless, and he leaned his forehead against mine, smiling.

I admire women who always have total control over their emotions, I really do. I've never figured out how to control anything about my life.

While I was ecstatically happy Ranger was back in one piece, and I was glad nobody'd gotten seriously hurt in our scuffle, I suddenly realized he'd come back without telling me. And before I could stop it, the thought muscled itself to the forefront of my mind.

"When did you get back?" I asked, slowly backing out of his grip so I could look at him. Ranger shut of the water and reached for the towels right outside the shower stall.

"Tonight," he said and wrapped us both in the fluffy cotton. Now that the redness was receding, I could tell how tired he looked. Like he hadn't slept much for the past week. And still, that pesky voice in my head wouldn't shut up.

"Why didn't you call me?" I asked. Ranger looked at me and shook his head slightly, then he lifted me up and took us out of the shower. I grabbed another towel when he put me down and started drying my hair with it. "Well?"

"I got back about an hour ago," Ranger said, shucking his boxers and wrapping the towel around his waist. This was where I should leave it, I realized. He just got back, no time to call. I absently studied the towel and noticed just how low on his hips it was riding. I wanted nothing more than to pull it off of him and fall into bed with him. The way the water drops were glistening on his broad chest looked downright yummy.

And I realized I was spoiling for a fight, and not because Ranger hadn't called me. Yes, I was hurt about that, but I could get over it. I'd been so stressed over the past week that I thought a big Italian temper tantrum would help, like a big thunderstorm that cleans the air. Joe would have understood. But Ranger had this temper under control at all times. He didn't do shouting matches. I, on the other hand, wasn't able not to do them.

"You could have called the control room, you know," I said, not letting the subject die. "You didn't have to come at me with your gun drawn." Watch out, bitch Stephanie was at the wheel.

Ranger leaned back against the bathroom door, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I could've. And if you'd come in like your usual self, I wouldn't have needed to." I raised my eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"You didn't turn on the lights, you didn't come right into the bedroom, and you were a lot quieter than you usually are," he explained. "So you thought I was an intruder rather than one of your men?"

He smiled at that. "My men know better than to just come in after I've returned from a mission." Duh. Mental head slap. I could have thought of that myself, he probably needed just as much time to decompress as other soldiers, Batman or not.

"So what made you think the guys missed someone riding up in the elevator and breaking into your apartment?" I was really getting started now. Ranger shook his head slightly. "Guess I was still in combat mode. So why were _you_ armed?"

I had that coming. "Guess I was in combat mode, too. I figured you would've called if you were back, so it had to be a robber in your bedroom." Ranger looked at me, his face growing soft.

"Under the circumstances, I should consider myself lucky a faceful of defense spray was the worst that happened, huh?" He said and closed the distance between us, putting his arms around me and nuzzling my neck. "Cleaned your sinuses right up, didn't it?" I joked, snuggling up to him. I could feel him chuckle.

"I wouldn't have shot you, you know," he said, growing serious again. He pulled back until our eyes met. "The pepper spray surprised me, but I would have never shot you."

"I know. I never thought you would." I put my head on his chest again. "I always thought I would never spray you either," I said softly. "I'll live," Ranger assured me and kissed my hair.

Damn, it felt good to hold him. "I'm sorry I gassed you," I said softly.

I could feel him shake his head slowly. "Don't worry about it. Wasn't the first time." I knew he wouldn't elaborate on that even if I asked.

I pulled away from him and picked my towel back up from the counter and when I looked at him I noticed again how tired he looked.

"I'm gonna go back to bed," he said. "Why don't you join me when you're done in here?" Before I could reply he'd winked at me and left. I let out a whoosh of air. I didn't know how he'd done it, but he'd defused my Italian temper completely. I still wanted to ask him about not calling me, but I wasn't mad girlfriend about it anymore.

I peeled my wet clothes off and wrapped myself in Ranger's fluffy bathrobe before I did damage control on my hair.

Twenty minutes later, I stepped out of the bathroom to find Ranger lying on his bed, his head resting on his locked hands behind his head. He was watching me with a half-smile on his lips.

"Feel better?" He asked, patting the spot next to him. The way the sheets clung to him it was easy to see he was not wearing the towel anymore and I got a rush at the sight.

And then something extraordinary happened. Well, extraordinary for me. I decided to give it a rest and talk to Ranger after we both had a chance to sleep on it.

I climbed into bed and scooted up to Ranger, snuggling into his chest and breathing in his scent.

I smiled when I remembered his scent had been part of the reason I'd come here in the first place.

"So, you wanna tell me what you were doing here in the middle of the night?" Ranger asked, running his fingers through my damp hair. "I couldn't sleep," I said. It was the truth after all. Ranger's chest shook under me in silent laughter, and I could feel him shake his head slightly.

I propped myself up on my elbow so I could look at him. "Your bed is nicer," I said.

"Yeah, when you're in it," he said and drew me closer with his hand on the back of my neck. The kiss in the shower had been hungry and hard. This kiss was soft and gentle. He ran his tongue over the outline of my lips before he slowly pushed it between them, seeking entrance.

And when his other hand pulled on the belt on the robe and snaked through the opening, I forgot why I'd been angry before.

I shrugged out of the robe, slid my leg over Ranger's hips and lifted myself over him so that I was straddling him and he smiled against my lips when I splayed my palms on this chest. His hands ran from my knees up to my hips, massaging them, and his hard length was pressing against me. I could feel the heat travel down from our dancing tongues through my belly straight to my core.

I took control of the kiss for a moment, cupping his face in both my hands and pulling his head up, but I gasped in surprise when Ranger rolled me around so I was pinned under him. I moaned when his hand slid up my thigh and his finger buried itself in me, expertly brushing against my clit. There was a time for caresses and long foreplay, after a week without him, I had no patience for it. I pushed my hips up impatiently, but Ranger pulled back and started trailing kisses from my neck down.

When I pushed up again, he held me down with one hand while he dipped his tongue in the hollow of my throat. He was obviously determined to take it slow.

"I need to feel you inside me," I whispered, "Now." I was rewarded with a low growl as Ranger pushed himself up on his elbows and slid into me, watching me closely. I'd meant to hold his gaze, but as he buried himself inside me deeper and deeper, my eyes squeezed shut and a cry escaped my mouth. Ranger growled low in his chest in response when all of him was in me.

I hooked one leg over him and lifted my hips up to meet every one of his thrusts, and every time he rammed into me I moaned out loud. It had only been a week, but my body was starving for him. I cried out when his teeth grazed my shoulder and then bit down lightly. I was a goner when he pushed one hand between us and stroked my clit in sync with his thrusts, and I came screaming his name. And that was just the start.

The soft light of dawn was creeping through the curtains when we finally lay back, tangled and slack-limped, and completely spent, but satisfied. Ranger said something but I was already too far gone to understand, I just smiled at the sound of his voice and drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up, my left knee touched the mattress, the rest of my body was draped over Ranger. I looked up to find Ranger still sleeping; at least his eyes were closed. I couldn't remember ever waking up before him, it gave me the opportunity to study his face. There was no blank face when he was sleeping, the lines around his eyes were barely visible and his lashes fanned out over his cheekbones. He was beautiful.

Of course I didn't get to study him for long, he has one of those sixth senses where he just knows someone is watching him, I swear. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled at me. I glanced at the bedside clock. I'd been so relaxed that I thought we'd slept in, but it was only 8:30. Late for Ranger, early for me.

"Morning," he said softly, pulling me further up his chest. I pushed the hair out of my face and settled my head on his shoulder. And I wanted to stay like that forever, Ranger's arm around me, his fingers caressing my skin.

"You ready to tell me what's wrong now?" He asked, I could feel his breath on my ear. I ran my hand over his chest. "What makes you think something's wrong?" I had no intention of getting in a bad mood again. I'd put yesterday in a box and closed the lid on it. As far as I was concerned, nothing was wrong.

When Ranger didn't reply I lifted my head to look at him. Our eyes locked and I had the feeling he was looking right into my soul. Him and his damned ESP! I sighed and pushed myself away.

"I'm gonna take a shower," I announced and scooted away from Ranger to get up. I half-expected him to hold on to me and ask me again, but instead he let me go and when I looked back when I was at the bathroom door, he was sitting up with an almost exasperated look on his face.

I'd just stepped under the hot water and reached for the shampoo when Ranger slid the shower door open and stepped in. "Let me," he said and took the shampoo bottle.

He lathered it up in my hair and gently massaged my scalp. I had my eyes closed and leaned back, completely relaxed, remembering a time months ago when he'd relaxed me the same way.

Ranger pushed me back into the water stream and when the suds were rinsed, he lowered his mouth to mine, cupping my ass with both hands to pull me against him. The water was rushing over our heads and our tongues were dancing with each other, I felt a heat inside me that had nothing to do with the warmth of the water. I let my hands slide down from his shoulders over his arms, enjoying the ripple of his muscles under my palms.

Ranger grabbed me tighter and lifted me up, pressing me against the shower wall with his body. He broke the kiss to run his tongue over my jawbone to my ear, and then he placed open-mouthed kisses down my neck that had me squirming with pleasure. He held me with one arm then, the other hand started exploring, kneading my breast, flicking my nipple between two fingers until I gasped.

I held on to his shoulders and my fingernails were digging into his skin when he replaced his hand with his mouth and ran his tongue over my pebbled nipple. He loosened his grip around my hips and let me slide down slowly, burying his finger into me. I fisted my hands in his hair, already very close to slipping over the edge. When he rubbed his callused fingertip over my clit, I could feel the orgasm building and moaned low in my throat. I pressed against his finger, rocking slowly, needing to feel him deeper in me. Ranger's erection pressed against my thigh and his breath was hot on my skin as he suckled and grazed the sensitive spot at the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

I cried out when he pushed a second finger into me and held on to him when I felt my knees buckle. I splayed my hand against his length and slowly rubbed it until I felt Ranger moan against my skin. He lifted his head and crashed his lips onto mine, plundering my mouth with his tongue. I lifted one leg and draped it around his hips while I leaned into the kiss with all I had and slung my hands around his neck. My movement pushed his fingers into me just a fraction further, but it was enough to make me draw my head back and cry out as the orgasm hit me.

When I opened my eyes, Ranger was smiling and slowly pulled his hand away to replace it with his rock-hard length.

The water was beginning to run cold, but I didn't really notice, we were producing enough heat between us to keep me warm. Ranger held on to my leg around his hips as he pushed further and further, until he was buried in me to the hilt. He stilled for a moment to let me adjust to his size, and then he pulled back slowly, only to thrust into me with a force that made me cry out in pleasure. I'd barely recovered from the first orgasm, and already I could feel the second one building. I pulled his head down to me, meeting his open mouth with mine, rubbing my tongue against his while meeting every one of his thrusts with a push of my hips.

When Ranger cupped my ass and lifted me off the floor, I lost it. I threw my head back as I came, my walls clenching around him, pushing him over the edge as well. I let my head fall on his shoulder while I was waiting for my breathing to return to normal, and I could feel his heartbeat against my chest as if we were one.

When I slowly slid my leg down, holding on to Ranger because I didn't trust my legs yet, he leaned his forehead against mine and smiled. Water was still raining down on him, forming rivulets on his shoulders that were running down his chest to where my body met his.

"I meant to talk to you," he said, chuckling. I shrugged, smiling. "We talked in body language."

He bent down to turn off the water, still holding on to me. "Babe."

When my legs were able to carry me again, I pushed back a little and fished a towel off the rack. I slung it around me and stepped out of the shower. I looked at Ranger and he gave me the same look he'd given me when I'd jumped out of bed and I knew I wouldn't be able to get away with it this time. He took his own towel and followed me.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked all innocently. I knew better than to think it would fool Ranger for a second, but it bought me some time.

"Well, for starters, what were you _really_ doing here last night?"

I tightened the towel on my chest after I was dry enough and shook my head by way of styling my hair. "I told you," I said, flashing a smile, "I just couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd come here." It was true; I hadn't been able to sleep. And there really wasn't anything to talk about because I was trying to avoid even thinking about it.

Ranger stood between me and the door, and he looked like he wouldn't move until I told him what I wanted to hear. "Did that happen often while I was away?" He asked.

I didn't know if he was referring to my insomnia or my coming here but to both the answer was no. I shook my head, "Just last night." I didn't know where he was going with his questions. Was he just concerned or did he sense something was off? I focused my attention away from him on my reflection in the mirror, straightening my hair.

He blew out some air and shook his head. "Let's talk over breakfast," he suggested and left the bathroom. My stomach rumbled, agreeing with him.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail so I wouldn't have to style it, retrieved the robe from the bedroom floor and exchanged it for the towel before I followed Ranger. He was standing in the middle of the room, his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing only black silk boxers and he was staring at the upended dining chair that I had stumbled against the night before.

I didn't think he was debating how to pick it up, my guess was he was reliving the night before in his mind. He looked like he was deep in thought as I walked up to him. Out of nowhere I remembered a time a few years ago when just thinking about Ranger's body scared the hell out of me. That thought made me giggle as I slung my arms around him, locking them on his stomach. His body heat seeped into me and I inhaled his scent deeply and kissed him between his shoulder blades. He covered my hands with his when I hugged him tighter.

"I'm so glad you're back," I said as I put my face against his firm back. He patted my hands and pulled away. I frowned because I'd expected him to turn and kiss me or at least say something. He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the breakfast bar. "Something wrong?" I asked as I took the stool next to him.

He shook his head and picked up the thermal carafe to pour us coffee.

There was a basket with bagels on the counter in the kitchen, so I assumed Ella hadn't been to the dining room, that's why the mess was still there. I grabbed one of the bagels, slathered it with butter and took a big bite. It wasn't until the melted butter was running down my forearm that I noticed Ranger was sitting next to me, blank-faced. He hadn't touched his coffee, didn't comment on my eating habits. "Okay, what is it?" I asked him, turning to face him.

"It was close," Ranger said softly, his face still blank. I shrugged. "But nothing happened." I didn't really know what was supposed to be close, I only knew we were both fine. But Ranger looked…disturbed. Like he had just seen himself as Tristan in "Legends of the Fall" after he'd attacked Susannah. And I didn't know what to say to lighten the mood, I wasn't used to Ranger showing this kind of emotion.

"Let's just forget it," I said and took a sip of my coffee. Maybe 'forget' wasn't the right word, but I didn't think Ranger would like 'Let's think about it tomorrow' any better. He shook his head slightly, and I didn't know if it was to say 'no' or if he was still thinking about what happened.

Our eyes locked, and I glimpsed more emotions in Ranger's eyes than I'd ever seen. Just for a second, but I was sure they were there. I couldn't even name them all, it had happened too fast, but I thought I saw pain and sadness mixed in. I blinked, and his eyes were expressionless again.

"I have a meeting in ten minutes," Ranger said and startled me out of my thoughts. He took a sip of his coffee and got up. "I have to get dressed and ready."

I expected him to stop behind me and lean over and kiss me, or tell me he'd be over later, _something_. Instead, he passed behind me and closed the bedroom door.

I stared at the closed door with my mouth open, trying to make sense to his abrupt departure. It hadn't sounded like an invitation when he said he had to get dressed, so I was pretty sure he wasn't waiting for me in his bedroom. And I knew it wasn't anything I'd said; it was as if Ranger had a whole conversation with himself when he was staring at me.

I put my half-eaten bagel back on the plate and was about to slide off the stool when Ranger came back. Now he was dressed in his usual black, from his CAT boots to his skin-tight t-shirt.

"Sorry I can't stay," he said as he stopped by the breakfast bar, adjusting his utility belt. "I'll see you later."

"But…" I didn't really know what I was going to say, but I never got a chance to, Ranger had already disappeared into the foyer. 'I'll see you later'?? I wanted to jump up and follow him, asking him what the hell was going on, but I was too stunned. A part of me was still waiting for him to turn around, slapping his forehead, smiling and saying something like 'What was I thinking?' before bending down and kissing me goodbye. But I knew he wouldn't return when I heard the front door click shut. "Ranger?" I called out, even though I knew he was gone.

What the hell had just happened? I let the past twenty minutes replay in my head, from when I almost bumped into Ranger as he was studying the upended chair to when he practically ran out of the apartment, but I couldn't help feeling that I missed a whole chunk in the middle. Maybe I'd fallen asleep without noticing while Ranger had talked to me? Unlikely, but the only thing that I could come up with that would begin to explain it.

I walked over to the dining room, trying to find what Ranger had seen. I picked up the chair and put it back in its place. The dining table was a little askew because I had bumped into it, but here weren't any bloodstains or ripped clothes, because nothing had happened. There was nothing out of the ordinary.

So now what? I wondered if I should follow him, drag him out of his meeting and demand an explanation. I decided against it because it would create a scene, and Ranger hated scenes. And I didn't want to confront him in front of the Merry Men anyway. But what else was there to do? If I stayed in his apartment until he returned, I could be in for a very long wait, and I didn't do waiting well. But I couldn't just go down to my cubicle and work my inbox as if nothing had happened either. There was no way I could concentrate on work right now.

I finally resolved to give him an hour and poured myself another cup of coffee, but I was too wired to sit down and drink it. I rinsed my plate and the cups and put them in the dishwasher, then I wiped down the sink and countertops, just to give myself something to do.

I realized Ella would come by at some point to straighten up, and I didn't feel like running into her. I'd gotten to know her pretty well over the last few months. She would ask me how I was and I was hanging on by such a thin thread, a simple question like that might push me over. 'How are you?' was a difficult question for me to answer right now. Just yesterday, I thought I had two problems; one of them being that Ranger was away. Well, Ranger had returned and I should only have the Harry problem left, but this morning had screwed me over.

Before I could talk to Ranger about what to do about the mob, I had to find out what was wrong with him.

And today was the lunch meeting with Guzzarella that I had no intention of attending and my meeting with Eddie to maybe tell him about it. Or maybe not. I didn't know. The plan to just up and leave Trenton kept becoming more and more alluring to me.

"Arrrgh!" I screamed and threw my hands up. I knew it wouldn't solve anything, but screaming always made me feel better, unless I was screaming in fear, of course.

Then I remembered Bob, and how he was probably dancing around by the front door by now, and I almost ran into the bedroom to get dressed. It was an excuse to leave, and I knew it, but I didn't really know what else to do. One thing at a time.

Ranger had forgotten all about the talk we were going to have, where I would have probably told him all about my problem with Harry the Hammer, but under the circumstances, I couldn't feel relieved about that. Part of me had wanted him to press on so that I could tell him the story from the start. But why hadn't I told him when he asked, twice? I shook my head. Best not to think about it right now.

I dressed in my RangeMan uniform because that's what I'd brought, but I had no intention of going to work, not in my current state of mind.

On the way out, I took another look at the dining room, thinking maybe I'd overlooked something. Nothing.

Probably I was totally wrong. Probably Ranger had been preoccupied with the upcoming meeting, and hadn't even thought about the night before. Maybe the meeting was about the mission that just ended and he'd dreaded it.

I knew that wasn't like Ranger but I was determined to make that the explanation when I pulled the front door shut behind me and pressed the elevator call button.

TBC

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A/N: What happened to Ranger? Some kind of PTSD or something? What should Steph do about her problems, any of them? Please let me know what _you_ think! 


	3. Chapter 3

This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

This chapter was made possible by the infinite patience of Stayce and by readers like you.

Thank you Stayce, you rock!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JE, the title belongs to Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 3

I was going home to walk Bob and take him to my parents' house. And I was _not_ going to my desk to work until I could trust myself not to confront Ranger. Like, what would I say? When I asked him if he was okay earlier he had just sort of nodded. I had a feeling similar questions would get similar responses.

The elevator didn't stop on the 5th floor, the floor the control room was on, or any other floor; I'd caught the express, thank God. That way I didn't have to face any of the guys, and I was happy about it because I didn't know what to say to them either. Even the question how I was doing was tough to answer right now.

I chewed on my lip all the way to the garage. I was totally confused and hadn't a clue what to do about anything. I needed a doughnut, even better, half a dozen.

I yanked my car door open and glanced at the parked cars. Ranger's cars had been there all week, and now the Turbo was missing. I reasoned that he hadn't told me where this meeting of his was; I'd just assumed it was at RangeMan. For all I knew it could be in Miami, although he wouldn't have made it there in ten minutes, so the meeting had to be close by.

A million thoughts raced through my mind as I drove to the bakery and then home on autopilot. I would have never made it if I was driving anywhere else; I was totally oblivious to my surroundings.

As expected, Bob had been waiting for me and was over-anxious to go for a walk. He didn't like it when I left him alone overnight. He was perfectly capable of holding it in, but sometimes when he thought I was gone too long, there were accidents. And every time I wiped up his pee or his puke, I remembered why Rex had been my favorite roommate for so long. Hamsters are so much less maintenance.

Bob and I went the small round that allowed him to relieve himself and sniff the latest pee-mail on the closest fire hydrants and trees, but didn't amount to exercise for me. When we were back upstairs, I filled his bowls and gave Rex some more leftovers and a raisin and waited for him to rush out of his can so I could tell him about my night. He finally did come out to check out his breakfast, but just stuffed it in his cheeks and buried himself in his soup can again. The message was clear: I was on my own on this one. I ate my doughnuts and felt a little better, but I still didn't have any epiphanies.

I figured since I'd asked Eddie to meet me for lunch, it had been clear to me then that I had no intention of waiting for Harry's henchman to pick me up. And now I really felt the urge to tell someone, and Eddie had the added advantage of bringing in a cop's point of view. Because Eddie was a friend first and a cop second, I could trust him to have my best interest in mind when I'd ask him for a suggestion.

I changed out of my work clothes into jeans and a t-shirt, put on three layers of mascara and extra eyeliner for courage, then I grabbed Bob and my pocketbook and left my apartment. It was already past ten and I didn't want to chance running into Guzzarella, just in case he showed up early to pick me up.

I never had to call ahead to find out if my parents were home, even if they both went out at the same time, Grandma Mazur would be there. And they were used to me dropping off Bob to Doggy day care at different times.

As usual, my mom and grandmother were standing behind the screen door when I parked, alerted by some inner radar to my arrival.

"Are you staying for lunch?" My mother asked, "Your father is out to get fresh rolls and cold cuts from Giovichinni's and I have chicken salad."

"I'm meeting Eddie Gazarra for lunch," I told her. "I can't stay." Mom frowned. "Why are you meeting married men for lunch?"

That made Grandma Mazur grin. Bob pulled me past them into the kitchen. "I'm not meeting a married man," I explained. "I'm meeting a friend for lunch." I didn't know where mom was coming from, she knew I'd known Eddie practically my whole life.

"It's Dr. Phil," Grandma Mazur explained. "They had unmarried women who have affairs with married men on yesterday." She was still grinning. I rolled my eyes. "I am not having an affair with anybody! I have a boyfriend!"

Mom looked like she was going to say something, but since I knew she was of the opinion that at my age, I should have a husband, not a boyfriend, and preferably a couple of kids, I cut her off. "Can I borrow the Buick?" I asked, mainly to change the subject but also because I had an idea.

Mom looked confused for a beat so Grandma spoke up "Of course you can, you know where it is. Something wrong with your shiny black company car?" Now they both looked at me expectantly. Yeah, there was something wrong with it. It had a GPS tracker and I didn't know how to disable it since I didn't know where exactly it was. And I had this idea of driving until I ran out of gas. Just get on 95 South and never look back. One thing I really did well was avoidance, and leaving everything behind that bothered me seemed like a good idea. For a second. Then I shook my head to clear it. "Nothing wrong with it," I said, "I promised my colleagues I would show them the Buick. They're really into classic cars."

Not really a lie, the Merry Men were guys first and foremost and thus interested in cars. Plus it had successfully distracted Mom, even though I wasn't going with my idea anymore. I thanked Grandma Mazur and declined my mom's dinner invitation before I gave Bob a hug on my way out. I managed to leave before my mom or Grandma Mazur could grill me on the details of my meeting with Eddie, and I let out the breath I'd been holding as I eased Big Blue into midday traffic. Sure I was a good liar, but I couldn't think of a good excuse why I'd meet Eddie in the middle of the week at Pino's.

It was too early to go to the restaurant so I stopped by the cemetery to visit Joe's grave. I went there about once a week to bring new flowers or to just think. The jury is still out on whether I believe in an afterlife or something, but I always felt close to Joe when I sat by his grave. And even though he didn't respond, I talked to him. I imagined his reactions to what I said and it always kind of made me feel better.

Not today though. I left the cemetery feeling just as clueless as before. I wanted to believe that inner voice that kept insisting I was making way to big a deal out of everything.

So I owed a mob boss a favor and Ranger was acting totally weird. It wasn't like genocide in Darfur or seal hunting in Canada. I sat in Big Blue in the cemetery's parking lot and tried to decide on my next steps. I still wanted to up and run but I knew it was useless. Even if I got away from the Family, I'd never stop thinking about Ranger.

I pulled out my cell phone and flipped it open. The wallpaper was a picture of Ranger and I taken at the RangeMan Company Day. I'd been snockered and was leaning into him, my back to his front. His arms were around me and his head was on my shoulder. I couldn't remember what he'd said, but I was smiling at him. Neither one of us was looking at the camera, I knew I hadn't even seen it.

I grimaced and hit the phone book button, but then I stopped after I'd selected Ranger's cell phone. What should I say? And did I trust myself to stay calm? Just like the night before, I knew that if I lost it, Ranger would stay calm and that would make it worse for me. And why would I lose it? There was nothing wrong, right?

I closed the phone with a sigh. No, it was better to get some distance, find something sane to say to him. Distance as in some time, not in miles.

It was 11:30 and it would take me at least ten minutes to get to Pino's from the cemetery, so I was now right on time.

Eddie was already waiting for me, leaning against his cruiser, his thumbs hooked into his gun belt, still in uniform. He smiled when he saw me and gave me a hug.

"What's that for?" I asked. Not that Eddie had never hugged me, but it was unusual. He shrugged. "You looked like you needed a hug." I smiled and locked arms with Eddie. "I did."

We walked into the restaurant that way and were immediately met by the enticing pizza smells and a few curious looks. Since lunch hour was in full swing, Pino's was packed, but we managed to get a booth in the big room.

"So what's up?" Eddie asked when we had ordered. "What makes you think something is up?" I asked, "Maybe I just wanted to have lunch with a friend." Eddie nodded. "If you just wanted to have lunch you would've come by the station a half hour ago. You called last night and the last time we had lunch here, you told me your life could be in danger."

He had a point. It was years ago, but I'd been afraid Benito Ramirez would make me disappear and had volunteered Eddie to give me gun lessons.

The waitress brought our drinks at that moment, a beer for me and Coke for Eddie, since he was still on duty, and I got another minute to think about how to word what I wanted to say.

'Oh, just do it!' I told myself by way of a pep talk and took a deep breath. I had to tell _somebody_, it might as well be my friend since grade school!

"So…do you remember after Joe was shot, when I tried to hide from Gardner?" Eddie frowned. "He's still in prison, right? I haven't heard anything else."

"As far as I know. This is not about him." I took another sip of my beer for courage. "This is about something I did back then."

Eddie's frown deepened. "Are you in trouble?"

"There's all kinds of trouble," I said. "This is the kind that could be trouble, but I don't know yet." He shook his head. "Okay, try that one again. You're not making much sense here."

I sighed. I had to admit I was being pretty vague. "So before things got really bad, I decided to pursue Joe's killer by myself, I didn't know it was Gardner then." Eddie motioned for me to continue. "And because I didn't want Ranger to…step in, I took off on my own."

When Eddie just nodded I continued. "So anyway, I needed a place to stay and I knew Ranger would contact everyone I knew to find me. So I called someone he wouldn't think of."

"Who?" Eddie asked, his expression already showing that he knew he wouldn't like my answer. I took a deep breath. "Harry the Hammer."

"Steph…" Eddie started, but I held up a hand to stop him so I could finish. "He offered me his hotel room in Atlantic City to stay, that was all." Eddie winced. "For what price?"

I lowered my eyes. "He only said I'd owe him."

"Jesus, Stephanie!" Gazarra exclaimed and heads turned at the nearby tables. Our pizza arrived and Eddie's face was red with the effort to keep quiet while the waitress was at our table.

"Does the saying 'deal with the devil' mean anything to you?" He asked when we were alone again. I selected a slice of pizza. "Oh, come on, Harry's not _that_ bad!" I almost regretted my decision to tell him.

Eddie took a calming breath and a sip of his soda. "Okay, what did you promise him?"

"Nothing. I just said okay when he said I'd owe him a favor."

"How much exactly do you know about Harry?" Eddie leaned forward, almost whispering now. I swallowed. And suddenly I didn't know what I knew; I was trying to remember the stories I'd heard. "Well, the usual," I said evasively, "Nothing new in a while. Only the rumors about back in the day."

The mob had a strong history in Trenton. 'Back in the day', the Burg was ruled by it. Some people were walked out of their houses in the pajamas, only to be found days later at the landfill, that kind of thing. Mostly it was all just nostalgia now, I figured.

"Mob activity has been quiet the last couple years," Eddie said. "Here in Trenton, there haven't even been investigations, much less arrests. I'll check the records to make sure. Used to be, Harry wasn't someone you owed a favor. Maybe things have changed."

I took another slice of pizza. "See? No big." I wasn't quite sure if I was trying to convince Eddie or myself though. We both knew that just because Trenton Police didn't have anything on Harry, it didn't mean that he was a choirboy now.

Eddie finally took a slice of pizza. "Be careful," he said. "And promise me to call me if you have _any_ problems."

"I will," I assured him. "So far I don't even know what the favor is. A guy named Mario Guzzarella called to remind me of it." I watched Eddies' reaction to the name carefully. "Do you know him?"

He shook his head. "But I'm gonna check him out when I get back to the station. Don't agree to see him until you hear back from me, and until you have backup, okay?" No problem, since I'd already missed the rendezvous Mario had suggested. Eddie seemed relieved when I told him I'd wait to hear back from him and I would tell him if I was contacted in the meantime.

We finished the pizza and our drinks and Eddie made me promise him once more I'd contact him immediately before he left. I stayed in the booth after he was gone, trying to decide if I felt better now that I had talked about it and I realized I'd only gotten one of my worries out. Since I was already sharing, I might as well get another opinion on Ranger's behavior.

Mary Lou would listen and give some best friend advice, but Lula knew Ranger a lot better and she could try and ask Tank for input, too. I called her and asked if she wanted to meet me for coffee. I would have suggested we meet at my apartment, but I didn't know if Guzarella was still waiting for me. Lula was at the hair salon and suggested dinner instead and I agreed. It was probably better timing anyway, since I still had to work my RangeMan job today.

I'd left my RangeMan car at my parents', almost following my gut instinct to leave Trenton. The Buick couldn't be tracked. Ranger had once made me promise I'd never run away from him again.

Was that what I was getting ready to do? Run away?

"I don't know!" I yelled and thunked my head on the steering wheel. I was sitting outside my parents' house trying to decide what car to take to work. I knew I only had a few minutes to decide because my mom would come out soon, asking me what the heck I was doing sitting in my car.

Then I realized Mom and Grandma Mazur might question my sanity even more than usually if I returned Big Blue now, since I'd made such a big deal out of taking it earlier, I'd look like an idiot if I'd returned it. I peeled away from the curb hoping my family hadn't seen me.

On my way to RangeMan, I tried to come up with ways to confront Ranger or react if he confronted me. I was torn between wanting him to come to me and storming into his office, demanding an explanation.

It turned out I needn't have bothered. As soon as I pulled into the Haywood Street garage, I noticed the empty parking space where Ranger's Turbo was always parked. Ranger hadn't returned from his meeting yet. I stopped at his parking spot and stared at it as if it could tell me where Ranger was until I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. The heavy metal door opened and Junior walked into the garage. That snapped me out of my thoughts and I quickly parked, taking just long enough so that Junior was in his car and gone by the time I got out of my SUV.

I was still wearing my jeans and t-shirt when I rode up in the elevator, but I had a spare 'uniform' in my locker on the 5th floor.

Once changed, I walked towards the control room slowly, trying to catch any conversation that would stop when I entered the room, trying to read the atmosphere for anything unusual. I was dying to find out if the guys had been briefed, if Ranger had talked to them before he left. I didn't know what I thought he'd talk to them about or what he'd say, but the not knowing made me insecure and paranoid, I guess.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down in my cube. I powered up my computer and signed on. I had no voicemails and no sticky notes, no one had tried to get in touch with me. Not that I usually had any messages, but today I'd been hoping for a note from Ranger, _something_. The longer I didn't see him or hear from him, the more my mind was mulling over the last few minutes that morning and I was trying to dissect every moment to find out what did or didn't happen. I'd already gone from 'What did I do wrong?' to 'What the hell is going on?', so I guess I was making progress, but I was driving myself insane in the process.

I ran the search requests without thinking, added notes, printed out results, rinse and repeat. It was just past three, I had just finished one search and was reaching for the next request in my inbox, when all conversation in the control room ceased. I looked up, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ranger, but only saw Tank crossing the room and disappearing in Ranger's office.

The day before, Tank had asked me for advice on Lula. I wouldn't be able to talk to Tank like a girlfriend, but he may know something about Ranger's behavior. I'd expected Tank to return to his desk now that Ranger was back, but he'd walked straight into Ranger's office and closed the door.

I stood up slowly, waiting to see if he'd come out, maybe just getting his stuff. But the door remained closed. By now I knew I was blowing things out of proportion, but I couldn't help it. I'd had half a day to think about it and I hadn't thought about much else since I'd told Eddie about Harry. Okay, so Ranger's behavior had been more important to me all along, but I didn't have any distraction since I'd talked to Eddie. He'd made me promise to call him if I heard from Guzarella, so everything was going to be fine. No one had told me why Ranger had acted so weird and that it'd be okay.

And besides, I told myself as I made my way over to Ranger's office, Tank owed me a talk. I'd reassured him Lula would like the diamond, he'd have to reassure me Ranger was fine.

Shit! Lula…earring. I'd totally forgotten to ask Lula about her night with Tank, it had been their anniversary after all. I was a bad friend. I made a mental note to ask her about it first when we met for dinner, then I knocked on the door.

Tank's muffled voice carried out to me, but I didn't wait to hear what he said, I opened the door and slipped in. He raised an eyebrow and put down the file he had in his hands.

I smiled a hello and got right to it. "Do you know where Ranger is? I haven't seen him since this morning and…" Tank's expression made me stop. He looked…surprised, but that wasn't it. For a second, there was some emotion I couldn't name in his eyes, then his RangeMan patented blank face slid into place. "He didn't tell you?" He asked. I sat down on one of the leather chairs facing the desk. It was unusual for Tank to ask a rhetorical question like that, but more importantly, did anything good ever come after that question? It's what people asked when your husband had left you for the babysitter or your dog had died.

I shook my head slowly and replied with the obligatory "Tell me what?"

Tank ran his hand over his bald head, obviously trying to find the right words. He let out a breath. "He went to Boston this morning to set up a new account. Probably won't be back until the weekend."

I could tell Tank felt uncomfortable telling me this, but I felt much more uncomfortable because Tank was telling me and Ranger hadn't. It wasn't that he'd gone to Boston. He had left without telling me he'd be gone for days. Today was Wednesday. We'd had a night of mind-blowing sex and a morning shower from Heaven and he'd left like 'a thief in the night', as my mom would have put it.

I stared at Tank and realized I should say something. Trouble was I couldn't think of anything. I finally cleared my throat. "Did he…did he take the Turbo?"

Not what I'd been meaning to ask and clearly not what Tank had expected, he blinked twice. It was the RangeMan equivalent of a dropping jaw. He nodded slowly, as if he was waiting for my real reaction.

"Well then," I said and got up. I had the sudden urge to cry, tears were already stinging my eyes, and I was _not_ breaking down in front of Tank. "Glad I asked. Thanks, Tank."

I'd never left the office that fast before, I practically ran out. In the control room, I bumped into Lester, but I just forged on, mumbling an apology. I didn't stop until the washroom's door whooshed closed behind me and I'd locked myself in a stall.

Except now that I was alone I could have cried, I didn't need to anymore. My sadness was pushed away, first by shock and then by anger. There might have been a meeting this morning, but Ranger must have known he was going to Boston and would be gone at least the whole day. Tank knew, after all. That meant that Ranger had chosen not to tell me. He might have had his reasons for it, but I didn't give a shit. By not telling me he'd treated me like a one-night-stand, like a stranger he didn't care about.

Now I was glad I hadn't called him, I was even proud of myself. Granted, I hadn't called him because I'd been afraid I'd come across as the clingy girlfriend, but what mattered was that I hadn't initiated contact.

I left the stall, splashed some cold water on my face and checked my reflection in the mirror. I wanted to look normal, unfazed. I was going to go back to my cube, log off and leave, calm and sane.

I took a deep breath and pushed the restroom's door open, determined. I hadn't planned on Lester waiting for me, leaning against the opposite wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He pushed himself off and blocked my way in two strides.

"You okay, Steph?" He asked, his hand on my forearm. After Joe died, I'd learned to hate that question, mostly because it usually got through my defenses, made me lose my weak version of the blank face I was wearing now.

"I'm fine," I said, forcing a smile. Lester scoffed. "Okay, once more with _less_ feeling." He moved his hand to cup my elbow and steered me towards the elevators.

Lester was one of my favorite Merry Men. Whenever we met in the kitchen or the control room, he usually waggled his eyebrows and told me a reason why he'd be better for me than Ranger, and he never stopped coming up with new ones. He was smart enough not to mention them when Ranger was within earshot, but I knew it was all in good fun. Lester was a big flirt, but he was also a good guy. He was sexy and well built, but my feelings towards him were brotherly, not romantic. And I knew that since he had a hold of me now, he'd make me talk to him.

He pushed the call button for the elevator, still holding on to my elbow and when the door opened, he pulled me in with him.

"Where're we going?" I asked as he pushed the ground floor button. "Out," he said. "We need to talk."

I sighed. I knew it. I should have taken the time to laugh and tell him to watch where he was going when I ran into him. But at the time, I'd been trying to hold back the tears.

Lester didn't release my arm until he'd shut the passenger door of his Explorer with me inside. He revved the engine and shot out of the garage. I didn't actually mind, I'd been meaning to leave anyway. Lester wouldn't have been my choice of shoulder to cry on, but I knew he'd listen. He always put on a funny façade, but I knew he was a friend underneath.

Lester shot me a quick look before he took a right on Haywood towards Route 1. I knew it was useless to ask where he was going, I just hoped there'd be alcohol there, it felt like a drown-my-sorrows moment, and I had just the right amount of self-pity to do it. No, I thought, not self-pity. Anger and confusion was more like it.

Lester pulled into Shorty's parking lot fifteen minutes later and when I didn't say anything after he'd killed the engine he shot me another look, "What? Seemed like a Shorty's occasion to me?" He winked and I had to smile, a genuine smile this time. Lester got out and jogged around the front to open the door for me, as if he still thought I might bolt.

"So what's up?" He asked conversationally after we'd gotten our drinks from the bar and had sat down at a table. Lester'd just ordered a beer, I'd added a shot of Jack Daniels to my order. He'd raised an eyebrow at that but didn't say anything.

I shrugged. He'd taken me here, so I figured he was really concerned. I decided to start at the beginning.

"Ranger came home last night." He nodded. "And we…I…I happened to…shit, I saw him is what I mean to say." Lester nodded and raised his eyebrow again, a silent 'And…?'

I downed my shot and shuddered. The whisky burned down my throat and pooled in my stomach, but it didn't make me feel any better. I chased it with some beer. Much better. "Actually I couldn't sleep and decided to stay at his place, I didn't know he was home."

"And you were mad he didn't call you," Lester added.

"No…I was happy he was back. Okay, yeah, and a little upset he didn't call to tell me he was back, but it was fine."

"Then what?" Lester asked. At the look I gave him a wolf grin spread over his face. "Oh. Okay." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes, but then he grew serious. "That would hardly explain your mood now…" Any other day, he would have added a stinger here, something about how I'd never be upset after a night with him I figured.

I sighed and took a big gulp of my beer. No, it wouldn't. Last night had been perfect.

"My mood was great this morning. Until Ranger did a 180 and stormed out of the apartment. And just now," I gestured towards the door meaning to indicate the office, "Tank told me he left for Boston and won't be back for days."

"You didn't know?" Lester was incredulous. Oh great, it seemed everybody knew but me. I just shook my head and stared at my glass. The tears were threatening to come back and I really didn't want them now.

Lester blew out some air and ran a hand through his hair. "Holy shit." I looked up at him. He hadn't known. So it wasn't something Ranger'd shared, not that I thought he would have. But still, it was nice to know for sure.

I took another big gulp, still fighting back rears. "Yeah," I finally said. "And I can't figure out why. When I bumped into you, Tank had just told me where Ranger was and for how long."

"That explains it then. You were hurting my ego just storming off like that," he said and winked. Probably he was joking and I appreciated the effort. I was just about to ask what he made of the whole thing when Lester stiffened and looked past me.

Before I could turn and look, I felt a hand on my shoulder, its weight holding me in place.

TBC

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A/N: Thank God he's back right? Wait…who DOES the hand belong to? Please let me know what you think, your reviews keep this story going. 


	4. Chapter 4

This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

Thank you very much for your kind reviews and suggestions, if I neglected to thank you individually, I appreciate each end every form of feedback.

A big huggy Thank You to Stayce who made time to help me and edit! You da best!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JE, the title belongs to Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 4

The hand on my shoulder was such a familiar gesture that I smiled. But where Ranger's hand was always warm, its heat seeping into me, this hand was cold and unyielding. I froze when I saw Lester reach for his gun, and when I turned my head a little, I saw a tall figure standing beside me, a man, wearing a black sports coat. But my muscles wouldn't obey me enough to make me lift my eyes to see the man's face.

"Now, now," he said, and there was something menacing in his voice, even in those few words.

"We don't want Miss Plum to panic. There's no need for violence." I felt something poke into my side and immediately knew why Lester didn't draw. And the voice sounded familiar now.

"Is there, Miss Plum?" He intensified the pressure on my shoulder and I slouched involuntarily. The paralysis slowly eased up, starting with my brain. Who was this guy? And who else was with him, I could see Lester scanning the room behind me, a worried look on his face.

"We're gonna have a nice talk outside so we don't disturb the other patrons." Suddenly I recognized the voice. Mario Guzzarella. Shit!

"I don't think so," Lester cut in. I was sure he didn't know who he was dealing with.

"It's okay, Les," I said, trying to sound calm as I slowly got up. This was my mess; I didn't want Lester to get hurt trying to clean it up.

"Steph, sit down," Lester instructed through clenched teeth, his eyes never leaving Guzzarella. The gun was pressed into my side a little harder. If I hadn't been so scared, I'm sure the situation would have seemed funny to me, with the 'Get up' – 'Sit down' routine. If only it hadn't been so serious.

Sure, Guzzarella and his goons had come on a little strong, but they just wanted to talk. I'd be fine. I just needed Lester to understand, because I didn't think his interruptions were helping. Maybe if he understood, it would convince me, too.

I looked at Lester until his eyes found mine. "It's okay, Lester. We have something to discuss. I'll be right back." I was hoping my voice sounded even and Lester got the message I was trying to send him 'Wait here for me. It's okay.'

Lester shook his head almost imperceptibly and I remembered something a Merry Man had once told me. That's they'd rather get hurt than tell Ranger they had lost me. If that's what Lester was thinking now, he _would _get hurt.

Lester's face was unreadable. I took a deep breath and slowly turned, making sure I stood between Lester and the goons, since I knew neither of them would shoot at me.

Lester grunted in frustration and I finally looked up. Guzzarella was tall, at least 6'3" with slicked-back black hair and almost black eyes. He looked like all movie mafiosos were modeled after him. His eyes were steel-cold, pretty hard to manage with brown eyes. He was wearing a black sports coat and dress slacks. The coat bulged on one side, so he had at least one more weapon, since one of his guns was still pointed at me. The idea of a smile showed on his face before he nodded to the two bodyguard-type men behind him.

I mentally cracked my knuckles as I willed my feet to move forward. I was still afraid Lester would try something heroic. That thought led to the question if I could be heroic and I realized I was totally unarmed. No gun, no pepper spray, nothing. But I'd managed to grab my shoulder bag and if I remembered correctly, I had my hair spray in it, and I was pretty good with a spray can.

Of course the last time I tried it, a psycho had tried to attack me in the bathroom I'd been in and he hadn't cared much about hairspray in his eyes. But it made me feel better to think I had _something_ when I followed the two thugs out.

Guzzarella was half a step behind me, his arm around me to hide the gun still pushed into my side. There were plenty of other patrons, but they were either drunk or didn't care, crime in Shorty's wasn't exactly unheard of.

I heard the movement shortly before Guzzarella turned towards it. It was one of those moments that take about two seconds yet seem to pass in slow motion. I knew without looking that Lester was behind us.

Guzzarella raised his gun, and I didn't know if he was the kind of thug that tried to intimidate with it or shot first and asked questions later. All conversation stopped and suddenly the background music seemed way too loud.

"Hey!" Someone shouted, maybe to distract Lester and Guzzarella from their respective targets, although I was only guessing that Lester was pointing his gun, my eyes were fixed on Guzzarella.

I knew why the goons had cornered me and wanted to 'talk' to me outside, Lester didn't. And he didn't deserve to get hurt because of my naiveté, I decided.

I acted before I could change my mind, bumping into Guzzarella with all my strength, making him lose his footing. He stumbled a step and shot. Probably he'd started pulling the trigger the moment I shoved him.

I lost my balance as well and landed on the floor hard, banging my elbow painfully. I was immediately lifted up by one of the broad-shouldered thugs Guzzarella had brought with him. All around us people were scrambling to get out, experience probably telling them more shots were likely. I tried to find Lester in the commotion to make sure he was okay, but I couldn't see him through all the people.

I was half dragged, half carried to the front door and craned my neck until I saw him. Lester was on the floor and he wasn't moving. I yelled his name and thought I saw him move his hand as if to wave, but the doors closed behind us before I could see if he was okay.

I tried to dig my heels in and resist, yelling "Is he okay?", but both guys were a lot bigger and a lot stronger than I was, they carried me down the front steps with little effort.

The thug on my right remoted a Towncar open and Thug #2 opened the back door for me. I wasn't shoved inside though, they let me go to climb in myself. I figured the doors were locked from the inside, so I didn't give them the satisfaction of trying to get out while they walked to the front. A dark-tinted window separated the back seat from the front seats. The engine started just as the door on my left was yanked open and Guzzarella sat down next to me. His presence alone let the temperature drop 20 degrees. He had this creepy air about him that made you cross the street if you saw him approach. This man was pure evil, I had no doubt he found pleasure in killing.

The car started moving and Guzzarella turned to me, wearing an icy smile. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Miss Plum. Probably you didn't get my message yesterday?" He raised an eyebrow. We both knew I'd gotten his message.

"It is unfortunate that Mister Santos did not heed your advice," Guzzarella continued conversationally, as if we were discussing the weather. I knew I was showing the enemy my weakness, but I didn't have the Merry Men's ability to hide my feelings. "Is he okay?" I asked.

Guzzarella waved me off. "Let's not dwell on that, Miss Plum. I am willing to start over after this incident."

Now I had a choice. I could play along or at least pretend to, or I could start a fight, demanding to know what had happened to Lester and to be let out of the car immediately.

While fighting would keep my pride intact, there was no telling what Guzzarella or his men would do to me. Best-case scenario would probably be for them to just ignore me and still drive to the destination. No, I decided, I had to pretend.

I took a deep breath and forced my hands to relax, I'd clenched them so tightly that my fingernails were digging into my palms.

"Okay," I was proud of how almost normal my voice sounded, "Then I believe you should introduce yourself and your associates first."

He looked at me for a moment, maybe trying to assess my sincerity, maybe questioning my sanity. I know _I _was questioning my sanity.

"I don't think that will be necessary," he said finally. There went my choice of topic, I didn't know what else to say. I looked outside to try to determine where we were going. At least we were still in Trenton, it didn't look like we were going to the landfill. 'Stop it,' I thought, 'you're being over dramatic. It's a talk! Nothing's gonna happen!' I was willing to believe that, except another voice spoke up asking why we were driving at all, why we didn't just talk in the parked car outside of Shorty's if it was just a talk. We rode in silence for a long time, stopping at stop lights, obeying the speed limit.

"Where are we going?" I asked when that nagging voice had won. Guzzarella shook his head slightly. "I thought we had agreed to a lunch date? Mr. Garibaldi graciously agreed to a later meal to accommodate the schedule change."

Mr. Who? I hoped he meant Harry the Hammer. I'd never really known his last name, though I'd been sure it wasn't 'Hammer'. Only one way to find out…

"And did Harry agree to let you use violence to get me to the meeting?" I asked. Again I got the blank look. Probably I was supposed to be a lot more scared, but I was angry by now. Who did this guy think he was?

The car stopped with a sudden thud and I was catapulted against the dividing window. I banged into it with the side of my head and the impact threw me back into my seat and left my ears ringing.

I heard the front passenger door open and Thug #1 got out. "What the fuck?" Guzzarella yelled next to me and banged his fist against the divide.

Before the driver got out my door was yanked open and I screamed before I recognized Tank. He grabbed me by the collar of my jacket with one hand and pointed his gun at Guzzarella with the other before pulling me out of the car.

I slammed into his chest and lost my footing, but he held me up with both hands, dragging me away. "Come on," he said needlessly. Bobby had taken over at the door, looking mean and pointing his gun. Thug #1 was spread over the hood from the side, out like a light.

Now I saw what had caused the sudden stop: A RangeMan SUV was blocking the way, they must have cut off the Towncar.

I was getting tired of being dragged, but I didn't complain because this time, I was dragged away from the alleged bad guys. Tank took me to a second SUV and opened the passenger door for me, Junior was in the driver's seat.

"Go," Tank just said and shut the door. It wasn't until we'd pulled away from the curb and Junior had threaded the SUV into traffic that I was able to speak again. "What just happened?" my voice sounded shrill.

We passed the accident and all I could see was Tank with his arms crossed over his chest and Guzzarella gesturing wildly.

"They're waiting for the traffic cops," Junior explained. "No, I mean…before, how did you find me?"

Junior cut his eyes to me. "Lester called in the code red. We tracked your cell phone."

"Yeah but…" I slumped back in my seat and closed my eyes, trying to think around the pounding headache that was developing in my head. My questions would have to wait until I could think straight again.

I pressed my fingers against my temples and took a few deep breaths. That just made me nauseous though, so I stopped.

"You okay?" Junior wanted to know. I scoffed. If only he knew how wild my answer to that could be…I settled for "I'm fine." I opened my eyes and everything started spinning.

"Can you just take me home, please?" Junior didn't respond. I figured he'd gone into his driving zone so I reached out and touched his arm. "Junior?"

"Negative, Steph, I have orders to take you back to RangeMan."

"Orders from whom? Tank?" Again, he cut his eyes to me for a spit second before focusing on the road again. "The boss," he said. The boss was Ranger. Had Lester called him? Did he try to call me?

I peeled my shoulder bag away from my body and searched for my cell phone. When I finally found it, I realized its battery had died. I sighed and slumped back again. "You okay?" Junior asked again and I almost rolled my eyes. But it wasn't fair to be angry with him; he really had nothing to do with anything.

Lester had meant well when he sent the team after me. For all he knew, I was being kidnapped. It was my fault for not telling them. With my luck, I'd just put all the involved Merry Men on some mafia hit list.

My head hurt really bad now and thinking made it worse. I tried to just imagine colorful lights or something, but then Ranger's face appeared before my inner eye and I frowned as the voices started a conversation in my head. 'See how much he cared? He sent a team after you!' – 'That was Lester, not Ranger and I didn't see Ranger among the men who got you out of the car.'

I tried to tune them out, hearing voices did not make me feel better about my mental status.

Junior stayed in his 'zone' for the rest of the drive, so we were quiet until we pulled into the RangeMan garage. He avoided looking at me as he got out of the car and walked around it to open the door for me, even when he helped me get out and took my shoulder bag from me. Although it was entirely possible that I was just paranoid at that point.

We walked side by side to the elevators after I'd assured him I could walk just fine. I just wanted about ten aspirins and my bed. And I figured if I solved any of my dilemmas instead of just adding to them, I'd feel even better.

I frowned when Junior hit the 4 button when the elevator doors closed. "You better lay down. No more work for you today." Going back to my desk had been the furthest thing from my mind actually, I just wanted to go up to Ranger's apartment to lie down. But Junior hadn't asked where I wanted to go, and when the doors slid open, he led my by my elbow down the hallway.

The fourth floor was where some of the Merry Men had their studio apartments, but not all apartments were occupied.

I stopped. "You know, I think I'm just gonna lie down upstairs," I said and turned to go. Now Junior was definitely avoiding looking at me, he was suddenly interested in his shoes.

"Orders are to have you checked out first…" He gestured towards the end of the hallway. I knew there was a makeshift infirmary in one of the apartments, really just a roomy first aid station. RangeMan didn't keep doctors or nurses on staff.

When Junior finally looked up the confusion must have been written on my face, because he hurriedly explained the doctor RangeMan frequently used was brought in for me. I smiled. My fear of hospitals was so legendary that I got my own private doctor now.

I let Junior take me by the elbow again and lead me to the apartment at the end of the hall.

The door opened before we had reached it and Dr. Mahoney stuck his head out. I remembered him from the time he stitched up my elbow after a takedown that didn't go as smoothly as planned.

"Stephanie," he greeted me, "so good to see you again. How're you feeling? I hear were in an accident?" He took my arm and nodded at Junior, excusing him. Junior left and shut the door behind me.

Dr. Mahoney was 'out of uniform'; he wasn't wearing his white coat, just a light blue Oxford shirt and gray slacks. He was in his 40's; give or take, and his blue eyes always sparkled friendly and somehow made me trust him.

He took my vitals first and was concerned about my blood pressure, apparently it was really high, but I forgot the numbers he told me. He then shone a light in my eyes, turned my head, and did all the things I was used to, since I banged my head a lot.

When he was done he told me my head looked okay from what he could tell without an MRI and that I should call him if the headache or the dizziness didn't stop. The he gave me a shot that he said would calm my blood pressure down and asked me to stay on the cod for a few minutes until he was sure I didn't have any reactions from it.

I leaned back and closed my eyes, and suddenly I felt very tired. I guess my body had used up all is adrenaline and all that was left was exhaustion. Since Dr. Mahoney had asked me to stay anyway, I didn't fight to stay awake.

When I woke up, I was no longer in the first aid room. I was lying on an unknown bed in a room I didn't recognize. I turned and my head began to pound again. Rats.

It was dark except for some light that shone in from the street, but now I was able to see I was on the bed in one of the studio apartments. Probably I'd fallen asleep and Dr. Mahoney had carried me here.

Probably he didn't have a key for the 7th floor and didn't want to interrupt the guys. I looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was a quarter past eight and I wondered how long I'd been sleeping. Lester and I had left RangeMan at a quarter to four…it couldn't have been later than five when I'd been escorted out of Shorty's.

At least the dizziness seemed to have passed. Other than the headache, I felt fine.

A movement caught my eye; a figure got up from the kitchen table and walked over to me. My heart jumped in my chest, and I almost cried out in relief.

All I could see was his silhouette, but I'd know Ranger anywhere. "Hi," I said, my voice croaky.

He sat down on the bed next to me. "Hi."

"What happened?" I wanted to know. What I meant was, what was he doing back in Trenton and why had I slept for hours, but I was sure he'd understand.

No emotion showed on Ranger's face. "You tell me," he said. Not so much with the understanding me then. He took a water glass and pills from the bedside table. "How're you feeling? Does your head still hurt?" He offered me the Advil and the glass and I sat up and took them gratefully.

"I meant, what are you doing here," I explained when I had washed down the pills,"Tank said you were in Boston."

"I was," he said and took the glass from my hands. Okay, was he trying to irritate me? He knew that, on a good day, I wasn't a fan of his 2-word answers. And I was nowhere near a good day.

I raised my eyebrows, my eyes boring into his. I could do the silent question thing, too.

Ranger shook his head slightly and blew out some air. "I got on the first plane after Tank's call. Now, can you tell _me_ what's going on?"

Oh, this was priceless. I didn't even know where my sudden anger came from, but I felt very close to exploding.

"I tried, remember?" I still had my eyebrows raised. "You walked out to go to a 'meeting', neglecting to tell me it was in Boston." There, I thought. He better not play the 'You got some 'splaining to do' game with me!

"I'm sorry," he said softly and lowered his eyes. Now that was just unfair. He knew I couldn't stay mad when he apologized. 'Sorry' and 'Please' were my absolute weakness, whenever Ranger said either one of them, I'd melt. Except there'd been this undertone in his voice and he was still sitting on the edge of the bed, he hadn't even tried to touch me. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

Ranger shook his head almost imperceptibly but still didn't look up.

"Ranger?" I reached over to touch his hand and he shifted his gaze to our hands on the bed sheet. The first tendrils of an uncomfortable feeling started fluttering in my belly, and it had nothing to do with my accident earlier or the lingering headache. Something was wrong.

Well, maybe not wrong, but definitely off. Ranger was always linear, the lack of words didn't concern me as much as the way he said what little he did.

"What's wrong?" I tried again. Finally, his eyes met mine. He lifted his hand and tucked a stray curl behind my ear.

"I'm gonna be in Boston all week, I just came back to make sure you're alright," he said. There was still this undertone in his voice that I couldn't place because I didn't remember ever hearing it before.

"Why didn't you tell me?" At the risk of sounding needy, I had to ask. Ranger let his hand drop and took a deep breath.

"I only scheduled it this morning. Steph…" he broke off as if searching for the right words. I bit my lip so I wouldn't interrupt him.

"What happened last night…" he began, and now he was looking past me, into space. "I didn't mean to spray you," I hurried to say, although I was pretty sure that's not what he meant at all. He laughed softly and squeezed my shoulder.

"I know, querida." He rested his hand on my collarbone and ran his thumb over my cheek. "That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about my reaction. I…" he took another deep breath, "I did what I vowed I would never do. I hurt you."

"What?" I asked eloquently. I didn't know what he was tlaking about. "When did you hurt me? If you're talking about in bed…" He shook his head and held up his hand to let him finish.

"No. I'm talking about shoving you into the dining table." My eyes widened so far it hurt. "Ranger, I…" I started, but when he pulled his hand away and quickly got up I stopped.

"I knew something like that could happen. That's why I never…before you…that's why my life doesn't lend itself to relationships." He was walking while he talked until he stood back in the kitchen. I scoffed. He wasn't making any sense, and I wasn't going to let him get away with it. "I'd say the last six months pretty much proved you wrong there."

He was deep in shadow now so I couldn't see his expression, but his voice was flat when he said, "That's what I thought, too."

I threw my legs over the corner of the bed and got up. I hadn't been thinking about how long I'd been lying though and quickly took a step to keep my balance.

Ranger was by my side in two strides. He put his arm around my waist and nudged me back onto the bed. "Don't get up," he said. "You still need to rest."

I laughed humorlessly. "If I understand you correctly, you just broke up with me. And you want me to _rest_??"

Ranger squatted down in front of me, taking my hands. "Don't think that, Babe, please. I'm not breaking up with you! I love you."

"Then what?" I asked, my volume rising. "What are you saying then? We're gonna continue our relationship as a non-relationship because you don't do _relationships_?" I had to bite my lip to fight the tears back. I couldn't cry now, I'd end up a sobbing mess. Ranger grunted in frustration.

"I'm saying we're gonna take a break for a while. Babe, I learned I can't trust myself around you. If _I_ can't trust me how can I ask you to?" I could read the pain in his eyes now and it hurt me to see it. It was rare for Ranger to show emotion like that. But I just couldn't understand his logic.

"I do trust you," I said, tears now running freely down my cheeks. I was unable to fight them anymore. I cupped a side of Ranger's face in my hand. "I do, with all my heart."

Ranger shook his head again and lowered his eyes. When he looked back up at me, his eyes were expressionless again. His blank face. ""Don't make this any harder on us, Steph. It's the way it's got to be. I tried. I really did. Because I love you. But sometimes, that's not enough."

He wiped my tears away with his thumb. "Never doubt that I love you."

He moved to stand and I quickly grabbed his hands. "Ranger, you didn't hurt me! Look at me, I'm fine!"

"This time," Ranger said in his flat voice again. "Maybe next time you won't be so lucky. I tried to excuse it with still being in the mission mindset, but that didn't hold up. I was trained to know the difference between good and bad, it's what I do." He blew out a huff of air like a big sigh.

"I spent all day trying to find an alternative. There is none. I'm gonna be in Boston this week, and after that, I may be in Miami for a while." He wasn't looking at me while he said this. New tears ran down my face and I swiped at them impatiently.

"Don't I get a say in this?" I asked. I didn't have the strength left to yell or gesture, I wasn't mad at him anymore. I just wanted him to see our relationship for what it was. Not perfect, because no relationship ever is, but pretty damned close to.

Ranger nodded. "I should have told you this morning, we could have talked it over. But I didn't…I couldn't…I wasn't able to put it into words then." He gently placed my hands into my lap. "Right now, I despise myself for what I've done to you. I need some time. I would've stayed in Boston but tank said you were hurt."

I nodded although it still didn't make sense. Except he was right about one thing, now he'd _really_ hurt me. Not with his fists, but with his words. Something inside me broke at his words. I'd trusted him with my life, pretty much ever since I'd met him. And now he said he didn't deserve my trust. Who the hell made him judge and jury of my feelings? How was it that he got to decide what I felt? "And I will get hurt again. Are you gonna come running every time to make sure I'm okay and then leave again?"

It had come out snippier than I had intended and Ranger's eyes widened minimally but he didn't come back down to my eye level. He straightened. "It's the way it got to be, Babe. I'm sorry. This doesn't change anything about your job or your privileges though. Get some rest." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, running his hands through my hair. "I told you r mom she'll have Bob overnight."

I was numb. There were a million things I wanted to say, but I couldn't utter a word. My job. Who gave a fuck about my job? It was just about the last thing on my mind. I wanted to tell Ranger to stay, to talk to me, to sit down next to me, to hold me. Instead, I just watched as he turned and left. When the front door clicked shut, I just sat and stared at it.

"You never hurt me until just now," I whispered into the empty room.

A dream, I decided. It was a dream or a hallucination or something like that. I'd hit my head harder than I'd thought and I was now in a coma, making up shit. And it just figured that I couldn't even make up happy fantasies but was conjuring up just about the most painful confrontation I could imagine.

And if I was honest, the dream theory was the only thing that made sense. Ranger wouldn't just leave. He'd want to know what had happened and wouldn't let up until I'd told about him all about Harry the Hammer and Guzzarella.

Except when I slumped back onto the bed, I knew it wasn't a dream. The pain in my head was nothing compared to the pain I felt in my chest. It was hard to draw every breath.

I knew when I'd felt like that before. How could I've let this happen? How could I've been so reckless to let Ranger into my life to a point where he could hurt me so much?

TBC

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A/N: I'd be honored if you found the time to read and review when you're done devouring LMT. What do you think Steph should do? Fight for Ranger? Leave with her pride intact? 


	5. Chapter 5

This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

Sorry about the delay. I was on vacation last week with very limited online access. I hope you haven't given up on me! In case I forgot to thank you individually, I appreciated each and every review, thank you very much!

**Special thanks to Stayce** for helping me out while feeling crappy. I owe you Babe!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JE, the title belongs to Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 5

I lay in the dark apartment for what seemed like an eternity. I went through the day over and over again, thoughts racing thought my mind. I even tried to focus on Harry and Guzzarella, thinking a real danger might take my mind off Ranger, but it didn't work. But it did remind me that I still had to check on Lester, I really hoped he was okay.

At first I was just mad at Ranger, but then I started blaming myself, at least partially, for trusting him so completely and making him such a big part of my life. I even tried to see it from Ranger's point of view for a minute, but the picture just wouldn't fine-tune.

'Okay,' I finally thought, 'need a plan here. Something beside self-pity and raging anger.'

I had the nagging feeling I was forgetting something important, like I'd left the oven on or something, and it took me the longest time to remember: Lula!

I'd made arrangements to meet her for dinner. It took me some time to remember the details, what with being kidnapped and broken up with and all.

Lula said she'd be done at the salon at… some time, and then she was going to go home to do…something. Did I mention I was fuzzy on the details?

I frowned, trying to remember the time we'd agreed on for dinner. The clock at bedside said it was 9 PM, so I knew I was going to be late, but I was trying to determine how late, like, was there a chance Lula would still be there? And where exactly had we said we'd meet, Pino's? Damned headache.

I snorted when I remembered why I'd asked her to get together. I'd wanted to ask her what she thought of Ranger's behavior. Well, I'd already found out what it meant, hadn't I?  
I mentally slapped myself to clear my head. I realized I was way on my way to a pity party and I wanted to stop it while I still could.

I now had a plan, even if it was only to get in touch with Lula. Someone had deposited my shoes and my pocketbook in the living/dining area of the apartment, but when I checked my cell phone, it was still dead. I put on my shoes, did some damage control to my hair and face in the bathroom and left the apartment. When I got to the elevators I debated briefly if I wanted to go up to the control room to call Lula, but I decided I wasn't up to seeing any of the guys, or Ranger. Instead I would go home, call Lula, and then call the control room to get an update on Lester.

I ignored the cameras on my way down and hurried to my car in case someone had been instructed to keep me from leaving. Dr. Mahoney might have ordered bed rest or something, for all I knew. But other than the headache that just wouldn't go away, I felt fine. Physically, anyway. And I'd done enough resting, I decided.

I burned rubber out of the garage and drove home. Ranger'd said he called my parents, so they wouldn't worry if Bob stayed over.

Since most of my neighbors are seniors and it was already ten, all the good parking spaces were taken and I had to park next to the dumpster. Tonight, it didn't bother me though and since I'd been stalker-free for a while now, it wasn't dangerous either. Of course there was a chance Harry's men could be waiting to kidnap me, but I didn't think that was his style.

Okay, so I was _hoping_ it wasn't his style as I hurried across the parking lot to the back door of my building.

My phone rang just as I unlocked my front door. I took a look at the caller ID and when I saw it was Ranger, I let the machine get it. Probably my car's GPS had reported I was home and he wanted to check if everything was okay. He did that. And on nights we couldn't spend together, it was a chance for me to at least talk to him. Well, not anymore. I had nothing to say to him at the moment.

"Babe," Ranger's voice came out of the answering machine's little speaker and my heart dropped painfully in my chest. "I know you're home. I know how long it takes you to get upstairs. Pick up." He waited a few moments and then he blew out some air in what could have been frustration or a sigh and hung up.

If that's how he defined taking a break, I wouldn't be able to endure it for long, that much was clear. He'd said nothing about my job would change, and I was sure he'd meant it. But I had no idea how I could make it through a day at the office when Ranger was a few feet away from me. Maybe I should take a vacation, I thought.

I dropped a few raisins into Rex's food dish and he immediately stopped running on his wheel to investigate.

"I had a shitty day," I told him. "No, worse, it was one of the worst fucking days I can remember." Rex blinked at me. He didn't like it when I cussed. "Men suck," I said by way of explanation. He stuffed the raisins into his cheeks and rushed into his soup can. He knew when to stay quiet.

I got a beer out of the fridge and dialed Lula. Probably the beer wouldn't go too well with the meds and the headache, but I didn't care.

"You better be dead or have wild monkey sex with Batman, I won't accept any other excuses," Lula answered. And I meant to answer all calm and composed, but all that came out of my mouth was a sob. And just when I'd been so proud I'd been keeping it together apart from the tears earlier. Damn it.

"What's wrong?" Lula asked immediately. No need trying to tell her I was fine and had just hit my toe or something, she knew. And I wanted to share. "Can you come over?" I asked her.

"This is just a wild guess, but am I bringing booze and ice cream?"

"Ben & Jerry's," I confirmed. "And lots of it."

"I'll be there in an hour," Lula said. "When I thought you'd dissed me I called a friend in Newark, lemme turn around at the next exit." And then the line went dead.

I took a couple deep breaths and called the control room. Hal answered. "Hey, Steph, how're you feeling?" He asked, identifying me by his caller ID.

"I'm alright, but how's Lester?" I wanted to know. Hal told me Lester had gotten shot, but the bullet had just grazed him and he'd only been in the hospital for an hour to get stitched up. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you gonna be out tomorrow, too?" Hal asked. "We miss you, you know. You leave with Lester and he gets you kidnapped and now we all have to suffer for his mistake." I could sense Hal smile over the phone. Leaving RangeMan would mean leaving Lester and Hal behind. I couldn't see that happen.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon. I'm just waiting for the Advil to kick in." I said and we disconnected. I was glad to learn that what happened between Ranger and me hadn't made the rounds yet. The guys sometimes gossiped worse than any of Grandma Mazur's friends at the beauty parlor, and that's saying something. I'm sure they'd find out soon that Ranger and I weren't a couple anymore, but I wouldn't be the one to tell them. In fact, I didn't even want to think about it any more.

I took my beer with me into the living room and plopped down on the couch. I closed my eyes and thought about the day from start to finish. It was high up there on my list of worst days ever, no doubt. I'd gotten kidnapped, had a car accident and got dumped by my boyfriend. There wasn't much left that could go wrong, but I tried not to think along those lines because that was a sure jinx, everyone knows this.

My phone rang again just as I was taking a long pull of my beer. Thinking it may be Lula calling back, I got up and grabbed the handset.

"Why did you leave?" Ranger asked when I answered. I'd forgotten to check the caller ID. What to say? 'Because you broke up with me'? Too whiney. 'Because I hate you'? Not true. I loved him.

"Stephanie?" Not Babe, not Steph. I bit my lip to stifle a sob and swallowed hard.

"I didn't feel well and I wanted to sleep in my own bed." Omitting is not lying after all, and I did want to be at home.

"You were supposed to rest." I tried to define the emotion in his voice, but I found there was none. This was the voice that went with the blank face, I decided.

"I am resting," I said. I didn't want to talk to emotionless Ranger, it hurt too much.

"Babe, I wish you stayed here after what happened today," he said. 'Here' probably meaning RangeMan, not his apartment he was most likely calling from. I took another sip from my beer for courage. This is how it was going to be from now on, I told myself. And it was nothing new, he'd always been concerned about my safety, basically from the day I met him, God knew why.

"I got my gun and I'm vigilant. I'll be fine." Okay, so that was a fib. My neighbor Mrs. Bestler could have snuck up on me when I got home, and she's north of 80 and uses a walker to get around. I'd been completely unaware of my surroundings.

Silence on the other end. Ranger speechless, wonders never ceased.

"Look, I gotta go," I said just to get off the phone. I was trying really hard to stay calm and not break down sobbing asking Ranger 'Why?', and I thought I'd been doing a pretty good job so far. But just picturing Ranger on the other end made me want to cry, and I hated crying. Especially in front of Ranger.

"About earlier…" Ranger started but I cut him off, "Let's not talk about this now, okay? I'm beat and just want to go to bed. Good night." I managed to get the last bit out and hang up before my voice broke and I sobbed again.

Now he'd be upset because I'd hung up on him but at least I hadn't broken down with him on the phone. For some reason that was important to me.

But I didn't cry then, I just stared off into space. The beer was cold in my hand, Rex was running on his wheel and the kitchen clock was ticking. All my senses seemed to be working; yet I felt incredibly numb. I hated myself for feeling this way because it was too close to the way I felt after I'd lost Joe. I'd decided then I never wanted to feel like that way ever again.

I ordered myself to stop the self-pity and finished my beer in one long pull. So I'd been dumped. It hadn't been the first time, although I didn't remember it hurting so much, but still, I knew it was something I'd get over.

Ranger wanted to take a break? I'd give him a break, all right. I didn't know how, but I wanted to stop being predictable, I wanted…well, I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew I wanted it to be something no one expected.

I put my empty bottle into the trashcan and took a new one out of the fridge, then I went into my bedroom, undressed and stepped into the bathroom. I needed a long, hot shower, I decided, avoiding my reflection in the mirror. I really didn't want to see how horrible I looked.

By the time the hot water ran out, my headache had subsided to a dull hum and I felt somewhat relaxed. I took my time toweling off, then I lathered on moisturizer and wrapped myself in the fluffy robe Ranger had given me for my birthday. It reminded me of him, but it was also warm and comfortable, and I needed comfort.

I drank my beer while I did the bare minimum to my hair, just enough product so it wouldn't frizz, and put some make-up on. I wasn't planning on going out again, but I didn't want to scare Lula either. When I was finished, I took another sip from my beer and went back into the bedroom.

I let out a scream of surprise at the sight of Ranger sitting on my bed. Ranger almost-smiled, "It's nice to see you, too."

He had his long legs stretched out in front of him and his arms crossed over his chest, making the fabric of his black t-shirt struggle to stretch over his biceps.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and I may have sounded a little more hostile than I really was.

"You hung up on me," he said, as if that was reason enough for surprising the shit out of me. "I thought you'd be back in Boston by now," I said and walked over to my closet to find something to wear. I was determined to stay calm and show just as little emotion as Ranger. And I still didn't know why that was so important to me.

"Can we talk, Babe?" His voice was suddenly a lot warmer and I heard him get up but I didn't turn. Tears were already stinging my eyes and I fought them back when I heard him approach. Ranger touched my shoulder and gently turned me around. I stared at his chest because I didn't dare look up.

"You said you wanted to take a break," I said softly. "That it was the way it had to be…" I broke off. Ranger put his finger under my chin and lifted my head until our eyes met.

"I didn't say what I said to hurt you, Babe," he said and his eyes flicked to my mouth. "You know I love you. It's because I love you that I could never forgive myself if I hurt you."

I scoffed and pulled my head out of his grip. "If this is you not wanting to hurt me, I you're not doing a good job 'cause it hurts like hell." I wasn't in charge of what I was saying. Somehow, Snippy Steph had taken over. I took another step back because all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around Ranger and hold on to him. But I had a vision of all the old movies I'd watched, where the hero pries the damsel's hands away from his neck in order to leave, and she is left behind, collapsing in sobs. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want him to leave and I didn't want to break down crying.

Ranger let his hand drop to his side. I couldn't even look at him; I was staring at my feet. In the shower, I'd come up with so many things to say to him, and all I could think of now was 'Don't leave'. And I wasn't doing a good job at holding back the tears either; I could feel the first one running down my cheek.

"Dr. Mahoney said you need to rest. Why did you leave?" I bit my lip to stifle a sob. So that's what he was concerned about. Of course. He'd broken up with me, but he was still concerned about my well being, I should have known. He hadn't' come over to apologize, to tell me he'd changed his mind, he just wanted to reprimand me for not taking it easy, like the doctor'd ordered.

I nodded slowly and turned, still not looking at him. I opened the closet door and stared at my clothes as if I was picking out an outfit.

"Babe," Ranger almost whispered behind me. And that's all it took. I took a deep breath to 'keep it together', but it was no use; it ended up as a huge sob. My knees buckled and I would have crumbled to the floor if Ranger hadn't caught me. I flung my arms around his neck after all and buried my face in his shoulder. His strong arms encircled me and instead of consoling me, they just made me realized what I wouldn't have anymore and I cried harder.

Ranger picked me up and pressed me against him, I was so close I could feel his heart beat. He carried me over to the bed and lay down with me.

I still had an iron grip on his neck and, just as I had feared, I could now feel his hands on mine, prying them loose.

"I _have_ to go," he whispered, his mouth close to my ear. "Babe, I don't...," he blew out some air and kissed my hair, "I don't mean to…I'm sorry. I understand it if you hate me right now..."

This drew another sob from me, although I had meant to respond with a perfectly articulated reply.

Ranger ran his hand through my hair. "This _is_ the way it has to be, because if I stay in Trenton, there is no way I could stay away from you, it kills me not to see you even for a day."

I finally pulled my head back to look at him. "That doesn't even make sense! If you don't want to leave, stay!" I argued. Ranger smiled and wiped the tears from my cheek with his thumb. "I know it doesn't make sense to you, I can't explain it."

I swallowed hard and decided to forget my pride. "Please don't leave." For the first time since I'd known him, I saw raw pain in Ranger's eyes and I thought I saw tears well up, too, but it was hard to tell through my own tears.

He tucked a curl behind my ear. "I don't want to. But I have to go. You'll understand, I promise. I meant to leave an hour ago, but I had to see you again." He pulled back and put my hands down on the sheets next to me. "Please, Babe, I _have _to go. It hurts to touch you when I can't trust myself around you."

I couldn't think of anything to say, short of repeating my plea. I wanted to tell him again that I trusted him, that he wouldn't hurt me, that it would all be okay. But I couldn't form the words.

Ranger pushed himself off the bed and I watched him leave. He turned in the doorway and looked back at me, and all I could do was reach out my hand and look at him. My vision blurred as new tears welled up, and then he was gone.

I buried my head in the pillow and cried harder than I'd ever cried since Joe's death. Probably I would have cried myself hoarse until I'd fallen asleep, but suddenly the mattress dipped and I looked up, hoping Ranger had returned.

It wasn't Ranger, it was Lula, and she threw her arms around me and pulled me close, holding me until my sobs were only sniffles and I could finally breathe again.

I pulled back and Lula held out a tissue for me. "You gonna tell me what happened here or do I have to send the snipers after Batman just for the hell of it?"

I laughed at that through my tears and blew my nose. "I'm a wreck," I told her.

"I can see that," Lula agreed. "And Ranger didn't look much better when I ran into him in the hall, but I knew it was no use asking him. So what the hell happened?"

"Get yourself a beer and wait for me in the living room, I'm just gonna throw on some clothes," I said and pushed myself off the bed. "I'm fine," I said at Lula's doubtful look. "I'm just gonna splash some water on my face and put on something more comfortable!"

"You got five minutes," Lula announced and left my bedroom. In the bathroom, I washed my face and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. So much for makeup to avoid scaring Lula.

I dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and joined Lula in the living room. She had opened me a beer and put it on the coffee table along with three tubs of ice cream.

I blew my nose one last time and sat down on the couch next to her. Lula handed me the tub of Phish Food and a spoon. "You wanna talk about it?"

I sighed and dug into the ice cream. "Give me a minute," I said. I knew I didn't have to add 'for the ice cream to kick in', Lula knew. She nodded and picked up her Cherry Garcia.

"What did Ranger say when you met him downstairs?" I asked when half the tub was gone and I exchanged it with Lula's. She shrugged. "Didn't say much. Handed me your key and said 'Take care of her', then he left. It was the look on his face that got to me. Never seen anything like it on Batman's face." She licked her spoon clean slowly. "Then I come up here and you're a crying mess. Don't need to be a genius to figure out something's up."

When I didn't respond, Lula elbowed me gently. "So, what's up?"

"I've had the day from hell," I started and took a long pull from my beer. "I'm listening," Lula said. So I started from the beginning. Hard to believe the day was not even over yet. I told Lula about finding Ranger in his apartment the night before.

"And he didn't call to tell you he was back?" She asked. "Nope," I said and continued, describing the scene in Ranger's living room when I first saw him as best I could. I reminded myself I had to leave out details Ranger mentioned later, I wanted Lula to form her own opinion.

"Hold on. You sprayed Ranger?? Square in the face?"

"Yes, and he pushed me into the dining table."

"Yeah, but you _gassed_ him?? Holy shit, White Girl, you're lucky you're alive!"

"Let me finish. We cleared up the misunderstanding pretty fast and were able to celebrate his homecoming properly." I smiled at the memory of first the shower, then the bed, and then the shower again. Lula fanned herself and I nodded.

"So anyway, I thought all was well after_ that_ kind of welcome, you know?" Lula nodded again and I told her about the weird conversation that followed over breakfast. Lula frowned, "What up with that?"

"That's what I was wondering, so I called you," I said exasperated. "But it gets better, let me finish." We both dug into the ice cream and I told Lula the rest. She scraped the last of the Phish Food out of the container when I was done.

"Well?" I asked, "What do you think?"  
"About the fact that you didn't tell me you had a deal with a mob boss or about Ranger breaking up with you?"

"I was sort of hoping you wouldn't hold the first part against me and help me with the second," I replied and finished my beer.

"So let me get this straight," Lula began. "You gassed Ranger and he pushed you away. Then you have wild monkey sex all night and he breaks up with you in the morning?"  
"Technically he didn't break up with me until earlier tonight, but yeah, he was odd from the moment he saw the upended chair and the dining table."

"Hunh," Lula said. Pretty much my thoughts. "So it doesn't make sense to you either?"

"I'm used to them not making sense. This is just whacked," Lula said and licked her spoon clean. "He broke up with you and hurt you like hell because he doesn't want to hurt you?"

"That's what _I_ said," I confirmed.

It felt good to share, and Lula was a good listener. I'd really needed a second opinion; I was slowly driving myself crazy with self-doubts. "So you don't think it's something _I_ did?" I asked, just to be sure.

Lula raised her eyebrows, "Unless you're not telling me something, you didn't do anything wrong."

"So what should I do?" I asked and got up to get us new beers. I screwed them open and put Lula's next to her half-empty one on the coffee table.

"He going back to Boston?" Lula asked. I nodded, "At least that's what he said." Lula picked up the last tub of ice bream and swirled her spoon in it, thinking.

"You sure about this plan to do something unexpected?" She finally asked. I shrugged, "It's the only thing I can think of, although I haven't come up with anything surprising yet."

"Ranger suggested a break," she said. "You should give him a break." I frowned at her and she raised her hand. "Hear me out. What do couples usually do when they're taking a break?"

"They get drunk and eat ice cream?" I tried. Lula shook her head, "They date other people!"

My jaw dropped. "That's your suggestion? I should just forget about Ranger and date someone else?"

"Not just _anyone_," Lula said and shifted in her seat. "Someone Ranger knows." A light bulb went on over my head. "You're saying I should make him jealous."

Lula jumped up. "Exactly. But not just with some Merry Men. Think about this! Who does Ranger trust more than any of the guys?"

Now I wasn't sure I knew where she was going. "Tank?" I suggested. Lula nodded, "Tank."

"Um…isn't he sort of, you know, involved?" I put as much sarcasm as I could into my question and raised my eyebrows at Lula. She grinned. "That's the beauty of it, sister! Cause I knew what you were gonna say next, you didn't want to make Batman jealous and use a Merry Man in the process. I'm _volunteering_ my man!"

I looked from Lula to her beer and back at her again. "Are you drunk?" Lula sighed impatiently and sat back down.

"Don't you get it? Tank will be in on it! I pretend to break up with him and he'll need a shoulder to cry on, just like you. It's like you'll share your misery."

I stared at Lula as understanding dawned on me. "You know, it may be the beer talking, but it may just work!" Lula's grin got wider. "Of course it will work, it's _my_ idea!!"

We spent the next hour emptying our beers, finishing the ice cream and hashing out our plan. Lula was sure she could convince Tank once she told him how stupid Ranger had acted. In fact, she said, she'd take a cab home and ask him to meet her there so we could get started the next morning.

By the time I closed the front door after Lula, I had my doubts again. I didn't think Tank would agree to do it. After all, he and Ranger were best friends. Probably he'd see Ranger's point of view rather than mine. And even if Tank played along, I doubted Ranger would fall for it. He wasn't the jealous kind.

I appreciated the thought, I'd known I could count on Lula, but I didn't think the plan would work. But at least the plotting had lifted my mood.

It was well past midnight, so I cleaned up the empty beer bottles and Ben & Jerry's containers, said good night to Rex and went to wash my face and go to bed.

The phone rang and stopped me mid-track. Who would call at this hour? If it was Ranger, I didn't want to talk to him, I decided as I went back to pick up.

It wasn't Ranger. Caller ID said it was an unknown number, so I let the machine get it. As soon as the caller spoke, I knew who it was.

"Stephanie," Harry the Hammer said, "I understand there was some miscommunication between you and my associate today." Always the polite Mafioso, I thought. My stomach cramped into a knot. "Probably just a mistake. He will contact you to make new arrangements. I suggest you listen to him." The machine beeped to signal the caller had hung up and I realized I was shaking. Shit.

If I was lucky, Guzzarella would call to arrange another meeting. If I wasn't so lucky, he'd just show up and drag me into his car when he got me alone. I chewed my lip, trying to decide what to do. I wanted to call Ranger for help, but my pride wouldn't let me. He hadn't even let me explain why I'd been with Guzzarella earlier; clearly he had other things on his mind.

I called Eddie Gazarra since I couldn't think of anything else to do. "'Lo?" Eddie answered after the sixth ring and I suddenly remembered what time it was.

"Eddie, it's me, Stephanie. I'm sorry to be calling so late…" I heard some rustling as I envisioned Eddie getting out of bed.

"Are you okay?" He wanted to know. "I'm fine," I said. "But I just got a call from Harry the Hammer…"

"Shit!" Eddie said. "What did he want?" I told him about the 'meeting' earlier and how it had ended.

"I'm not gonna yell at you for not letting me know, even though I told you to call me," Eddie said. "I'm calling you _now_," I said.

"And that's why I'm not gonna yell. You can't get out of this, Steph, Harry is a man of honor, in a matter of speaking. A promise is a promise to him."

"If you're trying to make me feel better, it's not working."

"I'm just telling you like it is. But it doesn't mean you have to do this alone. Let me come with you to the meeting," Eddie suggested. "You think I should go?" I asked?

"Do you love your family?" Eddie replied. That's what I'd been afraid of. "You think he'd…"

"No," Eddie cut me off. "But he could still cause you all kinds of trouble. Just do this. Call me as soon as you hear from them. I'm working the early shift, so I'll be off by 3. Arrange for a meeting after that."

After Eddie assured me again that he didn't think I was in immediate danger I promised him I'd really call this time and hung up.

Why was it that every time it looked like I was making headway with one of my problems, another one reared its ugly head? I'd just convinced myself that Lula's plan might actually work with Ranger, and now I was probably going to lie awake all night thinking about what to do when Guzzarella called.

I finally swallowed my pride and called Ranger's cell phone. He'd know what to do, he always did. But when his voicemail picked up, I lost my beer-induced courage and disconnected. I wasn't alone, I reasoned, I had Eddie to help me. I could do this. If only I could convince myself of that.

TBC

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A/N: So what do you think of Lula's plan? Could it work? Should Steph try?? I'd appreciate if you shared your opinion with me.

HAPPY FOURTH!!


	6. Chapter 6

This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

Thank you so much for your kind reviews, I really appreciate them.

Merci vielmals to Stayce for listening to my whining and helping me out constantly. Couldn't have done it without you, Babe.

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 6

The only reason I slept at all that night was because I was pretty much drunk. Lula and I had polished off a six-pack and I wasn't much of a drinker.

When I woke up I felt like I'd been hit by a bus and eaten by a bear. My head was pounding, although I didn't know if that was from a hangover or from the accident, and with every movement, my muscles screamed. Probably it was a good day to stay in bed.

Except I knew that my mom would be calling before too long because Bob was still at her house and she'd worry. And since I hadn't done much yesterday, my Inbox at work would be overflowing. Then I also had to at least make a cameo at the bonds office to see if any new skips had come in. My rent still didn't pay itself, after all. It was a little after eight and I knew that if I closed my eyes, I'd sleep until noon, so I sat up with a grunt.

My entire body protested when I rolled out of bed, and I limped into the bathroom like an old woman. It took about fifteen minutes under the hot water until I could move my neck properly again, and slowly my muscles and joints relaxed as well. Now I wished Dr. Mahoney had given me something stronger than Advil, I really didn't have the time or energy to be in pain. At least the shower had made me feel a lot better.

My phone rang and I realized I'd forgotten to take the handset with me into the bedroom when I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me and hurried through the apartment to answer.

"Hey hot stuff," Lester said when I'd pushed the button. I smiled relieved, "I take it you're feeling better then?"

"It was just a flesh wound, doesn't even get me sick days. I'm on desk duty for the rest of the week though and I was wondering when you're coming in."

"Do you miss me or are you just bored?" I teased and I could feel Lester smile on the other end. "Little bit of both," he said. I told him I'd be in as soon as I got dressed and he predictably asked if I needed help with that. Now I was convinced that he really was feeling better.

"I can manage, thank you," I said, "See you soon!" And we disconnected.

One less worry, I thought. Lester was going to be okay and he was going to keep me company in the office.

I took my pills, did the hair and make-up thing, then I dressed in my RangeMan uniform so I wouldn't have to change. Rex was sleeping in his soup can, so I just gave him fresh water and a few hamster nuggets and tippy-toed out of the kitchen so I wouldn't wake him. I made a mental note to charge my cell phone when I grabbed my pocketbook, I'd totally forgotten the night before.

I took the elevator down and wondered if Lula's plan would work with Lester instead of Tank. I'd have to fill him in, of course, but if he agreed, it could be fun. Then again, Lester might have a bit too much fun 'playing' couple.

I was lost in my thoughts and didn't see the man approach. When he grabbed my elbow, I yelped in surprise.

"Miss Plum," he said, "Please join me and Mr. Guzzarella in the car." The iron grip he had on my elbow belied his polite tone. And now I recognized him, he was one of the bodyguards at Shorty's the day before. Shit. How was I supposed to call Eddie if I was taken by surprise like this? I glanced at the guy. He was almost seven feet tall and just about as wide, he looked like he could hardly walk with all that muscle. His head seemed to sit on his shoulders without a neck, and his gray eyes looked like there wasn't much behind them.

I quickly scanned the parking lot. Maybe, just maybe, Ranger had ordered a couple Merry Men to watch me, as he'd done before. But today, there was only one black SUV in the lot and that was mine.

I had always rolled my eyes at Ranger's protectiveness, so I guess in a way I now got what I deserved. Not only had Ranger not asked me about the kidnapping, he hadn't sent the guys to watch over me either. I finally had my independence, and look where it'd gotten me. I would have laughed at the irony if my jaw hadn't been clenched tight as the muscle led me over to an idling Towncar. It wasn't the same car from the day before, since this one showed no body damage, but I wasn't surprised Harry the Hammer had more than one black car with tinted windows.

The muscle man opened a back door and I wasn't shocked to see Guzzarella sitting inside. "Thank you for joining me, Stephanie," Guzzarella said smiling. But his smile didn't reach his eyes. The bodyguard didn't release my elbow until I was seated in the car, and he shut the door immediately. The interior of the car was the same, beige leather seats, tinted divide between the backseat and the front.

"I trust Mr. Garibaldi has informed you of my arrival?" The fake polite tone was beginning to really get on my nerves. Guzzarella and his thugs could talk in this sugar-sweet way all they wanted, it didn't fool me for a second.

"He did." Sort of. Maybe I should have read between the lines some more. A door slammed shut and I assumed muscle man had taken his seat in the front, because moments later, we were moving.

I glared at Guzzarella. "You know I really don't appreciate being kidnapped all the time," I said and was surprised at how calm my voice sounded. I realized I was more pissed than scared. I'd told Lester I was on my way out, and he was in the control room. When I didn't show up in a couple hours, he'd check my car's GPS, maybe even sooner. Then he'd realize my car was still in the lot and he'd call me, I was sure of it. Oh, but then he'd send the cavalry and they would try and rescue me again because I still hadn't had a chance to tell them what was going on. Double shit.

My only hope was that this 'meeting' wouldn't last too long and I would for once be able to get myself out of trouble.

"Where're we going?" I asked into the silence. More to hear my own voice than to get an answer, but Guzzarella was apparently in the mood to talk. "Mr. Garibaldi has requested your attendance at his house for breakfast," he said. Oh boy. I shut up after that and stared out of the window so I wouldn't have to look at Guzzarella. I was trying so hard to keep calm that my fingernails were digging into my palms and the inside of my cheek had begun to bleed from biting it. To make matters worse, I'd forgotten to take the Advil and my headache was showing no signs of subsiding.

I prayed and promised God I'd be vigilant for the rest of my life and would never leave my house without my gun drawn if he'd only let me get out of this unscathed.

We took a right off Hamilton onto Chambers and picked up Route 1 after a couple miles. I had no idea where Harry lived, but I felt a little better knowing that I wouldn't have to spend much more time with Guzzarella. Harry was Vinnie's brother in law, and Vinnie was my cousin. I told myself that practically made us family and he wouldn't harm me. I'd never met Harry, but I trusted him a lot more than Guzzarella anyway. Guzzarella looked mean, like he skinned cats before breakfast and then went out to kill children.

When we left Route 1 after about a half hour, we were in a residential area that looked as old and rich as Princeton, but I didn't recognize it. Still, this was good. Probably we were really going to Harry's house. His family would be there. This was just going to be a talk, I was almost sure of it, and finally I was able to breathe normally again.

I was still staring out the window when we left the main road for a long and winded driveway, the kind that leads to mega mansions. We were driving up a hill so I couldn't see what it looked like, but I was sure it was going to be big. Like, mob-boss big.

Sure enough, after another minute, the off-white two-story mansion came into view. It didn't look like it belonged in Jersey, it looked Mediterranean, with its white stucco front and red ceramic roof tiles. There a lot of manicured bushes around it and the trees in the front looked old, and everything was landscaped to perfection. The driveway continued off to the left, where I could make out another rooftop, maybe garages or something.

The Towncar slowed down just as the double-front doors opened and a man dressed in the universal black of a butler stepped out.

As soon as the car stopped, I heard a front door slam and seconds later, my door was opened by the muscle man.

"Eric will accompany you inside," Guzzarella said, took my pocketbook and knocked against the divide. Eric took my elbow again and pulled me out of the car. As soon as I was standing beside him, he slammed the door shut behind me and the car took off.

My heart was back to beating double-time. Even though I'd convinced myself Harry would never harm me in his own house, I was still painfully aware of the fact that I was by myself, in Harry's compound, with the nearest neighbors possibly miles away. I took a deep breath and bit my lip as I hurried to match Eric's pace to the front door.

If it was unusual for caveman-like men to bring women dressed in jeans and a t-shirt to this ridiculously large and lavish house, the butler's reaction to us didn't show it. He looked at Eric, then at me and then back to Eric. "Mr. Garibaldi will see you in the green salon," he announced and took a step back to let us pass. Eric grunted and the butler led the way into the house.

I was too nervous to take a good look around, but I remember the marble floor and the statues in the hallway and enormous paintings on the wall. The house felt more like a museum than a home.

Eric still had a tight grip on my elbow as we followed the butler down a hallway. Finally he stopped and opened a door. Eric let go of my elbow and nudged me inside, then he closed the door behind me.

I was in a sitting room, furnished with the kind of couches some people have in their 'good' living room, furniture you look at but don't use. Two love seats were arranged around a coffee table with carved legs. On my right was a fireplace and next to it was an end table, but there was no other furniture in the room. There was another one of those huge paintings on the wall to my left, depicting some monarch on a horse. There were two huge windows at the far wall, but no other door beside the one I'd come through. Probably that's why Eric had felt it was safe to leave me.

I looked around the room to find anything that could be used as a weapon, without even my pocketbook, I felt very vulnerable. Well, even more vulnerable.

Short of breaking off a table leg, there was nothing in the room I could use, no fireplace tools, no heavy knick-knacks.

Since I was too nervous to sit down, I paced the room, just as anxious to 'get it over with', since I realized there was no way out for me now. After a couple minutes I stopped and listened. My erratic heartbeat was the only sound I could hear for a while, but when I listened past that, there were no other sounds in the house. I imagined Eric was keeping watch outside the door, but if the butler was with him, they weren't talking.

And just how long were they going to keep me waiting? I hated waiting for anything, but being scared and nervous while waiting was the worst. I knew I'd start chewing my fingernails any moment now. I tried to picture Ranger in the same situation, how calm and ready he would be. But instead of inspiring me, it just made me sad again to think of him.

When the door finally opened, I jumped in surprise and stumbled backwards onto on of the loveseats. A tall, gray-haired man in his late 60's stood in the doorway and looked at me. He reminded me of Marlon Brando in the Godfather, but maybe that was just because I had a good idea who he was: Harry the Hammer. In the flesh. I meant to clear my throat and it came out as a squeak.

"Stephanie, we meet at last," he said, closing the distance between us, extending his hand. "I'm glad you could make it." Okay, the false politeness definitely had to go or I would scream. We both knew I wasn't here voluntarily, and he made it sound like I'd accepted his invitation to afternoon tea.

I slowly stood up because I hated looking up at him and crossed my arms over my chest. I wanted to say something snippy, although I didn't know what, but then I thought of my mom and how she'd probably smack me upside the head for being rude to a 'fine gentleman' like Harry and the thought made me giggle hysterically.

Harry stopped at arm's length and frowned at me. "Everything all right, Stephanie?"

A knock on the door made me jump again. The butler opened the door to a maid of Ella's age who brought in a tray of coffee and doughnuts and toast. She put everything on the coffee table and I watched her intently to avoid looking at Harry.

I didn't know how to address him. 'Harry' didn't seem right…"Mr. Garibaldi," I started when the maid had left and we were alone again. Seemed safe enough.

"Please," he said and motioned towards the loveseat. "Call me Harry and take a seat. This won't take long. Coffee?" He picked up the coffee pot and filled two cups and I sat down. He was really going through with this, I realized. Just two friends having a friendly chat over coffee.

The good thing about it was that I could feel my heart rate slowly return to normal. Harry didn't look evil, he didn't look all that different from any of my parents' elderly neighbors. Morelli would have called him 'old school mob'. My gut feeling had been right, I wasn't brought to his house to be hurt. But why was I here?

"No, thank you," I managed when Harry held out the full cup to me. Coffee was the last thing I needed, my nerves were already shot.

Harry sat down next to me and took a sip of his coffee, never taking his eyes off me. "I apologize for the way Mr. Guzzarella handled the situation, Stephanie." There was so much sincerity in his voice that I instantly believed him. "I'm afraid my associate has visions of grandeur every now and then and misjudges situations."

"Okay," I said. I'd meant to say Guzzarella was insane and shouldn't be let out unsupervised, but all I could manage was 'okay'.

"Now, correct me if I'm wrong, in November of last year, we negotiated a deal?" He put his cup on the coffee table and raised his eyebrows. I met his eyes for the first time, and didn't see anything to warrant my earlier fear. Harry the Hammer was a gentleman, was my gut feeling. Go figure. I almost giggled again when I realized how 'normal' Harry spoke. I'd expected him to sound like Marlon Brando's character along with looking like him, or at least talk like a Soprano. I bit my lip to stifle the giggle, Harry would think I'd lost it. I wondered if he could turn the English professor accent on and off at will, I was pretty sure it wasn't how he 'usually' spoke. No one in Jersey talks like that, without an accent, all words pronounced.

"Yes," I almost whispered when I realized he was actually waiting for a reply. "Thank you again for letting me use your hotel room." Twice, actually. The first time, I'd gone to Atlantic City and stayed in his suite at the Taj Mahal to hide from Ranger and the second time, I'd stayed there _with_ Ranger.

Harry made a dismissive gesture but smiled. "I take it you passed along my message?"

I blushed. The 'message' had been what I had to tell the hotel staff to get the key to the room. At the time, I'd been too grief-stricken so shortly after Joe's death to be too embarrassed, but now I was mortified. 'I'm here to keep the bed warm for Harry,' was what the 'code word' had been. I nodded and Harry's smile got wider.

"You know, back in the day, it was a true statement. I have fond memories of that suite." I just nodded again, not quite ready to make small talk with a mobster.

Harry's smile faded but his eyes remained kind. "Now for your part," he said and picked a doughnut from the basket. Actually, a doughnut sounded pretty good to me too, but I didn't trust my nervous stomach to keep it down. And I was _not_ going to throw up in front of Harry the Hammer.

"The favor," I completed his sentence and he nodded. "I needed to talk to you in private, this is a rather delicate matter."

Now my eyebrows rose. A delicate matter? Oh God, I hoped it wasn't a euphemism for killing someone! "I'm not killing anyone for you, I'm a very bad shot." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Harry froze mid-chew and sent me a curious look, then he threw his head back and laughed. It was a genuine, friendly laugh, and I felt myself relax a little more.

"I am not going to ask you to kill anybody in exchange for a hotel room. The price for murder is a lot higher than that." I wasn't sure whether he was kidding or not, I just concentrated on the part where I didn't have to kill anybody.

"Then what is it you want?" I asked, and as soon as the words left my mouth I had a horrible suspicion. "I'm not sleeping with you either," I said, just to get it out of the way.

This time, Harry snorted. "Again, sweetheart, the price is higher for that as well, I'm afraid." Then he got serious again. "No, the matter I brought you here for involves neither murder nor sex, not from you or anyone else."

I let out the air in a whoosh and sank back in the loveseat. No shooting, no sex, it couldn't be that bad. Maybe I wouldn't have to regret agreeing to this deal for the rest of my life after all.

"My daughter married a pig," Harry said and I flinched at the venom in his voice. It took me a second to get back from my fear of becoming a mafia hit man. His daughter? Right, mental head slap. Vinnie the pig. Of course. I nodded slowly, wondering if Burg etiquette demanded I should defend my family. It's just that I couldn't come up with anything in Vinnie's defense. I'd called him a weasel for as long as I could remember. From the look on Harry's face, he wasn't any happy about having Vinnie in his family than I was.

"A perverted, cheating pig," he went on. Then he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend your family." Wow, the manners on this man. I'd been very close to telling him how much I agreed with him.

"My understanding is you work for him." A statement not a question. "Part-time," I rushed to say. I'm sure Harry knew I didn't socialize with Vinnie, but I needed to make that point. He nodded. "And trust me, I would have dealt with him a long time ago, but for some strange reason, Lucille loves him." He looked up at the ceiling, I guessed to ask for an explanation from above.

"I still don't see how…" I started, but Harry held up a hand to stop me. "Joyce Barnhard," he said and I stiffened. "What about her?"

"You don't need to protect that cafone. I know what's going on." He waved in the direction of the door, "It's not like anyone is keeping it a secret."

I swallowed. I didn't know what to say. Thank God we'd already established there'd be no killing. I didn't think I could even kill Joyce, and I really hated her.

"This is what you will do for me," Harry said and leaned closer. "You will make sure, that once and for all, that woman, that…zoccola, stays out of his life." He almost spat the last part and his accent slipped into Jersey-Italian, then he straightened. "Excuse my language."

I liked Harry, he seemed to be a very good judge of character. I'd be very hard pressed to find anything good to say about my cousin Vinnie or about Joyce Barnhard, who'd caused my divorce by porking my husband on our dining table.

However…"How would I manage that?" I asked. It wasn't like I could just talk to Vinnie and convince him of the errors of his ways.

Harry smiled. "That would be your part of the deal, so I'll leave it up to you. As long as you deliver."

Okay. I needed to focus on the positive. Harry hadn't asked me to whack somebody or prostitute myself. I'd do this for him and I'd be off the hook. And it wasn't even illegal. And no one would have to find out I was doing it as a favor for Harry; everybody knew I hated Joyce after all.

"And that's it?" I asked, just to make sure, careful to not make it sound like I thought it was going to be too easy.

"That's it," Harry confirmed and finished his doughnut. That was too easy. I mean, I had a good feeling about Harry, but that was pushing it.

"How will I know when I've delivered?" I gestured, trying to indicate the vagueness of the task. "When he hasn't seen her for a week? A month?"

Harry sighed. "The goal is he never sees her again, but that's not your job. You just do what you can, Sweetheart." He finished his coffee and got up.

"The car is waiting for you outside to take you back home. You know how to get in touch with me," he said and held out his hand. I got up, took his hand and we shook. I'd made a deal with a mobster, I thought. And it wasn't even bad. Except for Guzzarella, the experience had been tolerable, I decided.

Harry opened the door and pushed me in front of him. Eric was gone, the hall was empty. The butler appeared moments later with my shoulder bag in one hand and waited for me. Harry nodded once and left in the other direction. I was dismissed. It was over. I had to suppress the urge to jump up and pump my fist, that's how elated I was.

The car was waiting for me as promised, and I was the only one in the back seat. I couldn't see the driver because of the tinted windows and black divide, but I didn't see anyone in the passenger seat. I sank back into the seat and relaxed. It was over, I thought again.

The Towncar pulled into my lot and came to a stop in front of the back door. I reached for the door handle, but before I could pull it, my door was yanked open and I was looking down the barrel of a gun.

I gasped and stared at the gun, so that I didn't see the arm that was coming from my right, pulling me out of the car by my shirt. I fell against a wall of chest and gasped. Bobby was looking down at me and a smile slowly spread over his face.

"She's alone, stand down," Tank announced from the Lincoln and holstered the gun as he slammed the door shut. The car took off at a normal speed, probably the driver was used to that kind of welcome. When the Lincoln was gone, I could see Hal and Junior secure their guns and get into a RangeMan SUV.

"Hon, you gave us quite a scare," Bobby exclaimed, holding me at arm's length now but not letting go. "Whose car was that?" Tank asked behind me.

I took a step back, smiling at Bobby to show him I was fine. "That was Harry Garibaldi's car. I'm fine, he was just dropping me off."

"You may want to call Lester. He's the one who announced defcon 5 when you didn't answer your phone," Tank said, but when I turned to look at him he was smiling and I knew he was kidding.

"Why _didn't_ you answer your phone?" Bobby wanted to know. "I forgot to charge it," I explained, "It died." Bobby and Tank exchanged a look and Bobby ruffled my hair. "Never a dull moment with you," he said.

I knew they were waiting for me to explain where I'd been and how I happened to be dropped off in a mobster's car. I sighed. "It's a long story. I'll tell you all about it when I come in, okay?" I gave them my best smile.

"You coming in today?" Tank asked and I knew I was off the hook. "Yes," I replied, "I just have to stop by the bonds office and my parents first."

Bobby reminded me to charge my cell phone and then they both walked over to the waiting SUV. Hal waved at me through the open window and they took off.

Tank, Bobby, Hal and Junior. Not Ranger. I sighed and told myself to get over it. He was in Boston and wouldn't fly in every time there was an alarm at his ex-girlfriend's house.

For a moment, I thought about going upstairs, charging my cell phone, have some coffee. Avoid real life.

I sighed, hiked my shoulder bag up higher and walked over to my car.

I drove over to the bonds office, still enjoying the fact that I didn't have to look over my shoulder for Guzzarella anymore. I grimaced every time I realized what a big deal I'd made out of it and how simple it had turned out to be. Maybe simple wasn't the right word, I had no idea how to go about fulfilling my end of the deal.

But after fearing Harry wanted me to off somebody, trying to get rid of Joyce Barnhard was nothing. I might not succeed, I realized, but I'd have fun trying. I'd been working on it for a while, although I never focused my attention on her 'relationship' with Vinnie before. I shuddered involuntarily when I imagined what the two of them were doing behind Vinnie's closed office door when Joyce needed a favor.

Thinking of how I was off the hook, so to say, reminded me that I had to call Eddie to tell him everything was okay and he didn't have to worry by the phone any more.

I found myself scanning the street for Joyce's black Jeep as I pulled into a parking spot half a block from the office and killed the engine. With a sigh, I grabbed my bag and opened the door.

With any luck, I could kill two birds with one stone here. I could pick up some FTA files to hopefully make some money, and I could start working on Vinnie.

"Look who's still in town," Connie greeted me when I walked into the office. Lula popped her head up from behind Connie's desk where she'd been filing. She was grinning. "You look like you didn't get any more sleep than me."

"Wanna do lunch?" I asked Lula. I didn't want to say 'I need to talk to you' in front of Connie as if I was going to say something to Lula I didn't want Connie to know about. Which I was, of course, planning to do. Lula understood. "You want me to go skip tracing with you, dontcha? You tryin' to bribe me or somethin'?"

I smiled. "Or something." Then I turned to Connie, "You got any new skips for me?"

Connie picked up some files from a pile next to her. "It depends on what you want. I have some easy ones, some less easy ones and some dangerous ones…"

'Dangerous' meant more money. Those were the kind of FTAs Ranger usually took care of. Whenever I got one of them, he'd insist on riding along for the take down, and I never objected. I used to argue, trying to show him I could do it on my own, but I wasn't stupid. There was nothing I could do if a skip pulled his gun on me, I needed backup. And I'd enjoyed the time we were able to spend together, waiting for the skip to show up, surveilling sometimes for hours.

"Let me see them all," I decided, "I'll pick the ones I can handle." Connie picked up the stack of files, ten in all maybe, and handed them over. "Pick as many as you like and I'll make them yours."

I needed Vinnie's or Connie's authorization in writing to go after an FTA, but Connie hated doing the paperwork in vain, so she only printed out the contract when I committed to them.

"Is he in?" I asked and nodded towards Vinnie's closed office door. Connie shook her head, "He had an early appointment and isn't back yet." Lula didn't turn but quacked like a duck and Connie and I grimaced. Good thing Harry probably didn't know about Vinnie's preference for animals…or maybe he did and he considered it the lesser of two evils when compared to Joyce Barnhard.

Either way, my talk to Vinnie would have to wait. I got myself a cup of coffee, took the files and plopped down on the naugahyde couch to study them.

There were three easy ones. None of them had been arrested for violent crimes, they were first-time offenders that weren't known to carry guns. "I'll start with these," I told Connie, waving the three files. "Then I come back for more tomorrow." Connie nodded and brought up the apprehension authorization on her computer to fill in my name and print them out. I signed my part of it and put the files into my shoulder bag.

"You wanna do some bounty hunting first and then get lunch or the other way around?" I asked Lula. She put away the last of the files and closed the file cabinet with her hip.

"All that filin' gave me an appetite," she said. "Let's eat first." I'd been hoping she'd say that because I really wanted to talk about her plan some more now that I could concentrate on it fully. Maybe I'd find out what she thought about Lester instead of Tank.

"Then let's go." I smiled at her as she grabbed her purse. "Bring me back an Italian sub," Connie threw in as Lula followed me to the door. "Will do," I promised and we left the office.

Lula turned to me when we'd reached the sidewalk. "You wanna tell me why all of a sudden you're so anxious to get food?" I motioned towards the SUV and beeped it open. "I _need_ to talk to you."

TBC

Cafone - boor, ill-mannered person.

zoccola - slut, **bitch**

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A/N: So, what do you think of the 'job' Harry has for Steph? Were you expecting something else? Do you think Steph should do it so well that Harry puts her on his payroll?? 


	7. Chapter 7

This is the sequel to 'Living on a Prayer' I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read LOAP for it to make sense.

I apologize for the delay, RL got in the way of my imagination and nothing was coming out. The only reason I am able to post today is Stayce. Thanks for your help at all hours of the day, your support and your friendship, Babe.

Thank you all for your reviews in case I forgot to thank you in person, I appreciate all feedback.

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 7

Lula got into the car and turned to me as soon as I climbed into the driver's seat. "Okay, talk."

I smiled. That was something Ranger would say. Ranger, master of the two-word sentences. I had a momentary image of him in my passenger seat instead of Lula, his body half-turned to face me, the corners of his mouth quirked up in that almost smile he did so well and the real smile only showing in his eyes. It hurt physically to imagine I would never see him like that again.

Then I kicked myself mentally and groaned. If I kept this pity party up, I wouldn't have time for anything else. Lula sent me a curious look but I ignored it.

I buckled myself in and started the car. "What are you in the mood for? Micky D's? Cluck in a Bucket? Pino's?"

"I like that new deli on Chambers, we can get Connie's Italian there, too," she said. I nodded. If we got take-out, I could talk to Lula and still get to RangeMan at a time that would allow me to put in a full day's work.

I plugged my cell phone in the car charger and took off. Late morning traffic was light as I cruised down Hamilton, so chances were good I'd get my talk in. As if on cue, Lula started again.

"So what was such a big secret you couldn't tell me in front of Connie?" she asked.

"I've been thinking, " I started. "Oh boy," Lula said and chuckled and I tried to send her a glare while not taking my eyes off traffic, but it didn't work, she didn't seem intimidated.

"I think I wanna give your plan a try," I told her as I cruised down Hamilton and cut my eyes to her. Lula nodded, "It's a good plan. I tried to tell Tank about all 'bout it last night, but we got distracted…"

"That's okay," I said and turned onto Chambers. "I'll have to talk to him myself anyway. You think he'll do it?" I did some creative swearing as a blue Honda cut me off so I missed a green light.

"He'll do it," Lula picked our conversation back up. "He may not know it yet, but he'll do it." I looked from the light I'd been watching to her. "What do you mean?"

Lula just smiled and I rolled my eyes. I'd trust Lula to withhold sex to get what she wanted, but I hoped that's not what she meant.

"You really think so? How about if I asked Lester instead? He really _is_ single. Tank's Ranger's partner, Ranger'll never believe he'd…he'd…you know, put the moves on me."

Lula raised her eyebrows. "Put the moves on you?" She shook her head. "That's not how this is gonna work. And I know Lester's single, but he's a little too single, if you know what I mean." The light turned and I accelerated, entering the Burg.

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows in a silent question and she just looked at me. "He'd _really_ put the moves on you, as you like to put it," she explained. "I don't know-know him, but he'd have a hard time keeping his hands to hisself if you told him you wanna play couple."

I'd had the same thought earlier, and Tank was my first choice too, but I had doubts. Tank and Ranger had known each other forever. "What if they have this guy code that makes them stay away from each other's ex's?" I asked Lula. She gave that some thought, then her eyes lit up.

"We're gonna start it slow," she explained. "Ranger broke up with you. I broke up with Tank. You both need someone to talk to."

Lula was so convinced it would work, it was hard to doubt her. "I'm gonna talk to Tank first thing," I said. "If he'll play along, I'll do it." Lula grinned. "He'll play along. I'll break up with him right now…" She dug into her purse and came out with her cell phone. I was trying to come up with more arguments, but Lula had convinced me. Even if Tank didn't play along, I was pretty sure he'd keep the plan to himself and wouldn't share it with Ranger. Probably.

Lula was still talking to Tank and I tried not to listen when I parked at the curb in front of 'Gary's Deli'. There had been a dry cleaner in the building before the new owner had gutted it, decorated everything in yellow and black and opened a deli. There were dozens of delis in and around the Burg, and Lula and I liked to try them all.

"Okay," Lula said when she shut her cell phone. "Told him you're gonna talk to him about it when you get in. I think he thought I was kidding." Great. Tank was going to think I lost my mind when I'd explain it to him. I'd have to think about it later.

Lula got a meatball sub and the Italian for Connie, I got a tuna on a Kaiser and sodas and chips for everybody and we carted our lunch back to the car.

My schedule was so messed up. That's what happens when you get kidnapped early in the morning, I guess. I'd planned on picking up Lula early in the morning, go after an FTA or two, then pick up Bob and go to work at RangeMan. Now that I was going to do lunch, the FTAs would have to wait.

We spread the food all over Connie's desk and dug in. Vinnie still hadn't come in, so I had some time to think about my strategy there. Harry hadn't given me a timeline, but I thought 'as soon as possible' would probably come close.

After lunch, I drove over to my parents' house to pick up Bob and show my mom I was still alive.

"I heard sirens. Were you in an accident? Is that why you haven't called?" mom greeted me and I sighed. "No, I'm fine. I just overslept this morning and I'm running late. I haven't had a chance to charge my cell phone."

"Do you want to stay for lunch? We have fresh cold cuts from Giovichinni's." Bob had heard my voice and almost knocked my mom over on his way out to greet me.

"I already had lunch, I'm on my way to work."

"Some work," Mom complained. "Ranger has you working well into the night and then you have to come in right the next day."

"Mom, Ranger didn't…" I bit my lip. Probably Ranger had told her I had to work late, that's why I didn't get a chance to pick up Bob the night before. "Ranger didn't ask me to come in, I want to. I have some cases to finish." I knew my mom wasn't really upset about my work. She preferred the office to bounty hunting. It still wasn't the kind of job she'd envisioned for me, but she'd stopped suggesting the button factory when I'd told her about RangeMan's benefits package. "Well then," she said now, appeased.

Mom and Grandma Mazur watched as I loaded Bob into the SUV's backseat and motored off. 'Harry, talk with Lula, pick up Bob,' I mentally checked off. I was catching up.

Lester looked up from the monitors when I walked into the control room a half hour later and a smile spread over his face. "Thought you forgot all about me," he teased. I smiled back, "Never," and handed Bob over to him. "He missed you," I told Lester and Bob looked up at Lester adoringly as if on cue. They would both be occupied for hours.

I put my shoulder bag into my cube, then I set out to get some coffee before I tackled my inbox. I glanced at the closed office door on my way to the kitchen and chewed my lip. I knew Ranger was in Boston, so Tank would once again be at Ranger's desk. I could talk to him in privacy, if I could muster up the courage to bring it up.

First I called Eddie to tell him not to worry about Harry or his men any more. He didn't like my explanation of "It's personal," but I finally convinced him I no longer needed protection.

I then spent three hours working on the background check requests in my inbox. Every time I sensed movement, I looked up, and I caught myself hoping it was Ranger. I didn't know what I'd say to him if I saw him, but I missed him after less than a day.

Bobby stopped by to make sure I was really okay after the 'stunt I pulled' in the morning, as he put it. I asked him if Tank was in and he nodded in the direction of Ranger's office.

Bobby had to leave on a call, Lester was busy monitoring an account and Junior was on a conference call. I had no one to procrastinate with. I convinced myself to talk to Tank by telling myself the worst that could happen was Tank laughing in my face, so I straightened my shoulders and crossed the control room to knock on the office door.

Tank was on the phone when I entered, but he motioned for me to come in and have a seat. It was ridiculous for me to be nervous about this, I realized. As far as ideas were concerned, this was far from the worst. I'd given it a lot of thought and I hadn't come up with anything better.

"Did you talk to him?" I asked when Tank had hung up the phone. I'd meant to ask him if he'd talked to _Lula_ and use that as the ice breaker, but I bit my lip before I could mumble a correction. I did want to know if he'd talked to Ranger.

"Who?" Tank asked and I rolled my eyes. He knew damned well who! "Ranger," I explained. Tank looked at me with his blank expression, it was impossible to guess what he was thinking.

"We had a conference call about an hour ago, why?" I thought his expression changed to slightly curious, but maybe I was just annoying him. I didn't know how much Lula had told him, but my guess was he hadn't heard anything about me from Ranger.

I was studying my hands now, getting uncomfortably embarrassed, but then I remembered how flustered Tank had been about the diamond stud he'd given Lula and that made me feel a little better.

I took a deep breath. "Ranger broke up with me and Lula thinks that if we pretend to be…to, you know…if you pretend to be interested in me it will get Ranger jealous." Now that I said it out loud it sounded pretty high school. When Tank didn't respond I looked up. He'd leaned back in the executive chair, his elbows on the arm rests, his hands laced together.

"Why'd he break up with you?" He finally asked. I knew I could have lied and made up reasons, but I decided to tell him the truth. I told him about the night Ranger'd come home and about the morning after, and then I told him about the day before when Ranger'd been in my apartment. I'd told Lula but she'd agreed I need a male perspective on that, it clearly didn't make sense to us.

I was studying the pens in the holder on the desk intently while talking, I just couldn't bring myself to look at Tank, it was too…weird, in a way. I was still getting used to talking to Tank about non-work related issues.

"So he did it to protect you," Tank summed up. "At least that's what he thinks," I cautioned and Tank nodded slowly. "Where do I fit in?"

'You're gonna help me deceive your boss and friend,' would have been the absolute truth but I didn't think that would have gone over well. "I need your help," I said instead. After all, that was part of the truth.

"I got that part from Lula," Tank said. "What is it you're trying to achieve with your plan?" Tough question. I hadn't actually thought that far ahead, so I just said the first thing that came to mind. "I want Ranger to see that I won't be waiting forever for him to pull his head out of his ass."

Tank didn't say anything, he just looked at me in a way that reminded me a lot of Ranger. The intense stare that makes you feel like they're looking right into your soul. They must have both taken the same course in the Army 'Stare downs 101'.

"Okay," he said after a long minute. Okay what? Was he agreeing to help me or just confirming he'd understood?

The phone rang and Tank looked at it but didn't pick up. "I can come back if you're busy now," I said, although I was wondering if that was Ranger calling. Since I worked for RangeMan there weren't really any 'classified' phone calls, I was a part of the team.

Tank cut his eyes to me, then he snatched up the receiver. "Talk," he said and kept looking at me while he listened.

"I can do the first and second shift, and I'll have Junior do the third," he said and now the corners of his mouth quirked up in an almost smile. "No," he said and I was tempted to hit the speaker button to find out who he was talking to and what about. "I'm not…we're not seeing each other anymore," Tank explained and I raised my eyebrows. He was already playing the game?

Tank winked at me before he said "All was quiet. I was over there anyway so I made sure the perimeter was secured." The almost smile turned into a grin. "Yes, she's here, but she can't take the shift either."

So he _was_ talking to Ranger. I fought back the pang of guilt I felt for having Tank lie to him like that. I knew Tank would never do anything he didn't want to do.

"Did you just lie to Ranger?" I blurted out as soon as he'd hung up. Tank smiled at me and it lit up the whole room. "Wouldn't dream of it. I was Lula's taxi last night so I made sure no suspicious characters were lurking around. And as far as tonight is concerned, do you want to have dinner with me?"

"What about telling him you're not seeing Lula anymore?" Tank looked around the office, "Taken literally, I was telling the truth. Do you see her here?"  
I hadn't expected him to change directions that fast. "I didn't even know you agreed to help me," I pointed out. Tank shook his head slightly. "Neither did I. Spontaneous decision." I had to keep my jaw from dropping. I would have bet Tank never did anything spontaneous. "I thought you thought Ranger was just protecting me…"

Tank's shoulder moved a fraction of an inch, a RangeMan shrug. "He is. But he's not just my boss, he's my friend. And right now, he's acting like an ass and needs to be called on it." My face must have revealed my confusion because Tank chuckled.

"More'n one way to skin a cat," he explained. "You need protection, but not _from_ him." He sighed, stood up and walked over to the visitor's couch behind me, mumbling something I couldn't hear. I got up slowly. He'd agreed. It was a crazy plan and Tank had agreed. I decided to leave it at that for now, even though I was still confused. Maybe he'd change his mind if I asked more questions, it was best to figure it out myself.

Tank was searching through a duffle that sat on the couch. He turned around when I passed him on my way out. "I have a stakeout," he said, his gun in hand. "Pick you up at 7?" He winked at me again and I had a feeling this was the Tank Lula saw on a regular basis. He was still scarily tall and big, but his smile was genuine, making him look more like a big teddy bear than a grizzly.

"Seven," I confirmed and left the office, resisting the urge to lean against the closed door to sigh or maybe pump my fist. All eyes in the control room would be on me, and I couldn't risk anyone guessing the truth. Ranger might ask around before he confronted Tank, so he and I would have to be 'in character' from now on. I almost giggled as I walked back to my desk to attack the search requests that had accumulated.

At a quarter of six, I logged out of the search program and looked at my emptied inbox with some satisfaction. I knew it would be full again by the morning, but for now, I had a sense of accomplishment. I really liked this job, but I was glad I still had bounty hunting on the side so that I could get out of the office when I felt like the walls were closing in on me.

I grabbed my purse and went looking for Lester and Bob. The last I'd seen them, Lester had taken Bob out for a walk at the end of his shift. I found them both in the kitchen, both eating sandwiches.

"Thanks for babysitting him," I said as I put Bob's leash on. "Anytime," Lester said and petted Bob's head. "We had a good time."

Tank had left the office shortly after our talk and I hadn't seen him since, but I was sure he'd keep our 'date'. I had less than an hour to change and get ready, so I rushed to get home, took Bob for a quick walk, took an even quicker shower and managed to be ready at seven on the dot. I was wearing jeans and a white shirt and I hadn't had the time to put much effort into my hair and make-up, but I looked okay.

I filled Bob's bowls and dropped a grape into Rex's food dish and by the time I turned from Rex's cage to Bob, Bob's bowls were empty.

I'd called Lula from work to give her the good news and she told me it was bound to work since it was her idea. I hoped she was right.

When the doorbell rang a minute after seven, I even checked the peephole. Tank had changed into a light blue polo shirt and jeans and I had to look twice to make sure it was him. In the years I've known him, I'd never seen him in anything but black.

"We're gonna stay here for a couple minutes," he said as he brushed past me. I grabbed two beers out of the kitchen and followed him. He was grinning when I joined him in the living room. "Why are we staying here?"

"It may take a couple minutes for the control room to catch on to my car's location," he explained. "Have to make sure it makes the report." He winked at me again and sat down on the couch.

Apparently, he'd already given the plan more thought than I had. "Good idea," I acknowledged. "Do you think Ranger thinks you're here?"

Tank took a long pull from his beer. "He might. I pretty much told him I was here last night and since I told him I knew what you were doing tonight, he probably thinks I'm here again." He cut his eyes to me. "I think he may be curious enough to check with the control room, have them locate my car."

It seemed too easy. I didn't think Ranger would automatically assume Tank was with me. I took a sip of my beer and sat down on a chair since Tank pretty much filled up the entire couch. "Did you talk to Ranger after I was in your office?"

"No."

"So what makes you think he thinks you're here?"

Tank grinned. "I turned down the surveillance shift and told him I knew you couldn't do it either. He asked if I needed time to spend with Lula and I told him we broke up." He shrugged. "I guess I'm hoping he fills in the blanks and gets the wrong idea."

"I don't know," I said. "That's a lot of assuming, I don't think Ranger'd think you…and I…forget it, I think it was a dumb idea." All of a sudden I couldn't see how Ranger would ever think Tank and I would get involved. There was no way it could work.

"You only think that because you don't know the background. It's been years since it came up, but this one time, I told Ranger I'd make my move if he didn't."

"On me?" I asked incredulous. Tank nodded and drank some more of his beer, "He needed a kick in the ass, and that did it. I don't think he's forgotten." He waggled his eyebrows at me and I felt like I'd stumbled into an episode of the Twilight Zone. Who was this person that looked like Tank? He sounded like Lester's twin brother. Maybe Lula knew this side, that's why she'd been so sure he'd do it?

I took a sip of my beer. I was going to argue Tank's point, but then I realized I didn't need to. Even if Ranger didn't believe the charade, it wouldn't come back to haunt me, since I never said anything to him. And Tank hadn't told him anything either, it was all a matter of interpretation.

"Okay," I said slowly. "Are we still going to dinner though? Or will it be enough if your car is here?"

Tank thought about that for a beat. "Can I see your purse?" This time I knew what he was talking about. "I still have a tracker in it."

Tank smiled again. "Good. Then we take my car. Don't forget your bag." I shook my head as I followed him to the door, wondering if it was right that he was enjoying the idea of fooling Ranger so much. I mean, had he considered the consequences? Did they make shipping crates large enough to fit him in? What if Ranger hacked him into pieces before shipping him to some third world country when he found out?

I told Bob not to wait up, grabbed my shoulder bag and followed Tank into the hallway. Tank's cell phone chirped just as I'd pushed the call button for the elevator and he'd given me a look for not taking the stairs. He took the call and I noticed again how much his phone manners were like Ranger's: he answered with 'Talk,' then listened, gave one-word orders and disconnected without saying anyhing even remotely like 'goodbye'. I wondered who'd gotten it from whom.

Tank suggested a steak house and I was all for it because it was different. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been to the 'Outback'.

We ordered, and even before our blooming onion arrived, Tank's cell phone rang again. This time he smiled when he glanced at the readout. "That was fast," he said and hit the button to talk.

"Having dinner," Tanks said after a second, replying to what was said on the other end. The wink he sent me told me it was Ranger. Tank winking was weird, but no weirder than spending an evening with him I guessed.

They exchanged a few more two-word sentences, then Tank hung up. "Boss needs a report first thing tomorrow," he said as he put his cell phone away. He was grinning again. "He just _had_ to call to tell me right now, rather than send me an email."

"You think he knows I'm with you?" I asked. Tank nodded, "I could tell."

Lula had been right. Not only had Tank agreed to help me, he was enjoying this. I figured Ranger had found out we were at the restaurant together, but was he curious or actually jealous? Jealous, I repeated the word in my head. That word didn't fit Ranger. I couldn't see him get jealous, and that wasn't what I wanted anyway. The fact that Tank had once told him he'd hit on me if Ranger didn't was a bonus, whether he'd been serious then or not. I was pretty sure we'd get Ranger's attention.

Our drinks and appetizers were served and we busied ourselves eating and drinking. Mostly I was eating and Tank was sipping his cranberry and soda. I didn't really know much about Tank, so I asked him where he grew up and went to school, first date kind of stuff. Even though this wasn't a date of course.

He told me he was from Louisiana, which explained his first name Pierre, and that he'd quit college after two years just like Ranger. He'd met Ranger in boot camp and they'd been best buds ever since, although he didn't use that term.

By the time I had my dessert and Tank was drinking a coffee, I'd learned more about him than in they years I've known him before. And I'd had a really good time in the process. I could see why Lula enjoyed being with Tank so much, why she always smiled when she talked about him. He was a great guy to be with.

Tank and I had also agreed on some guidelines. He told me he agreed to help because he considered me a 'good thing for Ranger'. He didn't go into detail so I figured that was as close as Tank got to sharing feelings.

"I know what Ranger's doing, and I know why he's doing it," Tank said. "He just has the wrong approach to it and telling him point blank wouldn't work. That's why we're doing this." I just nodded. Although I didn't know what Ranger was doing, I agreed he was doing it wrong.

"But I won't lie to him. Not for you or anyone else, so if we're doing this, it has to be smart, not deceiving." He'd looked me in the eye while saying this and I could tell he was serious. I didn't want to lie to Ranger either and I'd always hated playing games with people's feelings, so I agreed.

So now I'd spent an evening with Tank and Ranger knew about it. Big deal. There could be a hundred reasons why we went out to dinner, it didn't have to mean Tank was coming on to me.

"When is Ranger coming back from Boston?" I asked Tank in the car on the way home. "Always comes back to Trenton Friday, even when he's planning on being there the following week," Tank said. Today was Wednesday. I'd have to talk to Lula to plan my next moves.

"Would he come back early if he thought you and I…you know…?" I asked but I already knew the answer. Tank looked at me briefly before focusing back on the road. "I know," I answered my own question, "he wouldn't come back unless there was an emergency. I guess I was just hoping."

Tank parked in my lot and turned to me. "The first thing you have to understand is that Ranger's actions do not reflect his feelings. He does what he needs to do, not necessarily what he wants to do." I wanted to tell Tank I knew all this but he held up his hand to stop me. "The reason I'm helping is I think he needs help deciding what he needs to be doing." He must have read the confusion in my face because he kept explaining. "I don't know if you believe him, why you think he left, but it's not because he thinks or feels differently about you. You need to know that."

That was easily the most emotional speech I'd ever heard from Tank, and I didn't know how to respond. "Let's talk upstairs," he said and got out, jogged around the car and opened the passenger door for me.

His cell phone rang just as we entered the lobby and he motioned for me to go ahead as he answered it, so I took the elevator up by myself.

Bob rushed to the door as soon as I'd unlocked it and almost made me lose my balance when he leaned against me. I dropped my shoulder bag and picked up his leash to take him for his last walk of the day.

"Hello Stephanie," a voice spoke from the darkness of my apartment and I almost jumped. I wasn't surprised Bob hadn't 'warned' me, I knew he could be bought with a treat. Joe's always said Bob would holed a burglar's flashlight for a hot dog.

The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it right away. Before I could reach the light switch, my hand was swatted away, Bob was pulled away and I was shoved into the dark apartment. Now my surprise switched to fear.

"You don't need light to die," the voice said theatrically and I would've rolled my eyes if I hadn't been so scared. There were two of them at least, since the voice was still coming from the direction of my living room whereas the hand that had swatted me was close by.

Tank would be here any second, I figured, all I had to do was buy some time. He'd come up after the phone call, and Tank's phone calls never took more than a minute. While part of me hated needing to be rescued yet again, the part that wanted to survive was stronger and I prayed for Tank to get his ass upstairs.

But what if there was a RangeMan emergency, surely that would take precedence over playing this game? What if he had to leave and would call me from the car? I just couldn't let myself go in that direction, I had to focus on counting to 60, surely Tank would come barreling in then.

"Move," another voice said from behind, startling me out of my thoughts, and shoved me again.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" I heard from in front of me just before I could make out the shape of a man.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, finally finding my voice. The only response I got was a slap in the face that made my head jerk to the side so far it hurt double. I'd counted to 35.

TBC

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A/N: Who do you think is attacking Steph? And will Tank be there to save her? Or should Steph find a way to save herself? More importantly, do you think Tank and Steph should continue their little game??? 


	8. Chapter 8

This is the sequel to 'Living on a Prayer' I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read LOAP for it to make sense.

I'm sorry it took me so long to update, RL can be a bitch. I hope that's all behind me now.

Thank you so very much for your reviews, I really appreciate them. I am not ashamed to admit I love receiving and reading each one of them.

An extra big THANK YOU to Stayce for helping me, editing and being my friend

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 8

Maybe it was the pain from the slap, or maybe my fear lifted for a second on its own so I could think straight, but all of a sudden, I recognized the voice. I didn't know what had taken me so long either, I'd heard it earlier that day: it was Guzzarella. What the hell?

I straightened. Ever since the meeting with Harry, Guzzarella seemed a lot less scary, although he still made my heart beat faster. I hadn't expected to see him ever again, and definitely not this soon.

I've been ambushed in my apartment more times than I care to remember, but I know I'll never get used to it. There's always fear. And anger.

"What do you want?" I wanted to know. I was careful not to let my anger show, my cheek was still burning from the slap. Bob was whining behind me, probably one of Guzzarella's goons was holding him by his collar.

The lights were turned on and I blinked at the sudden brightness. Guzzarella was standing a few feet away from me now, holding a gun and smirking. The look in his eyes made me shiver involuntarily, they were cold as ice and the only emotion he showed was hate.

"Boss changed the plan on me," Guzzarella started in a conversational tone. "I don't like it when plans change. I made them specially for you." He shrugged, "You owe me some playtime, whether the boss agrees or not." Oh boy.

'Visions of grandeur,' Harry had called it. I'd call it madness. Guzzarella was a few fries short of a Happy Meal, thinking he was the Godfather or something.

'Think Stephanie!' I told myself while I tried to put on my blank face so I wouldn't show him my emotions. I figured he'd get off on watching me squirm and hearing me beg. I'd met my share of slime bags, I should know how to handle them by now.

"Let's sit and have a little chat," Guzzarella said and took a step to the side, motioning with his gun. When I didn't move, I was shoved from behind. I turned around and recognized the muscle that had accompanied Guzzarella and Eric to Shorty's the other day. That left Eric unaccounted for, assuming they always traveled in threes. Had he been dispatched to take care of Tank? Was he waiting in the car?

Shit, I had too many questions and no answers. I took a few deep breaths and made myself walk past Guzzarella into my living room, holding my head high as if he didn't intimidate me. And the Oscar goes to…

I'd lost count, but I was sure a few minutes had passed. Where was Tank? Okay, I told myself, the important thing was to keep calm. If I panicked now, I'd never find a way out.

Guzzarella waved his gun at the couch and I sat down. My fear was slowly being replaced by anger.

This wasn't even my fault. This wasn't part of the mess I'd gotten myself into with 'The Deal', this was Ranger's fault.

Even as I was thinking it, I knew I was being illogical and that Ranger had nothing to do with this latest predicament, but blaming him fueled my anger and I was hoping it would help me.

"What do you want?" I asked again, trying to sound in control and not scared at all, but I don't know if I pulled it off. I tried to remember I was angry, not scared. No, not just angry, mad as hell.

Guzzarella's gun was still pointing at me so probably he felt superior by default.

"Let's just pretend I want information from you and you don't want to give it to me," he said and my blood ran cold. All images of torture I'd ever seen on TV flashed through my mind and I could feel bile rise in my throat at the sound of his voice.

I tried to tell myself to stay calm, that I could do this, that everything would be fine, but I didn't really believe it myself.

Guzzarella's lips spread into a grin and I swallowed hard. He took a step forward and it took all my strength to keep the panic down. 'Anger,' I reminded myself, 'Mad as hell.'

I didn't know what I was going to do, but I swore I wouldn't let him touch me.

I'd been 'playing along' the whole time. As soon as he'd spoken to me, I froze and I'd been doing whatever he told me to do since. Probably he didn't expect a sudden move from me. Probably he never expected resistance; one look into his eyes would be enough to disarm me on a normal day. But this was not a normal day. In fact, I'd had a rotten week. Guzzarella was the proverbial straw for me.

"This is gonna be fun," he said softly as he pulled some kind of thin rope out of his pants pocket. It sounds weird, but seeing the rope made me realize I wasn't bound in any way, no cuffs, no shackles, nothing. As if I'd been under a spell or something, I'd been holding still as if I'd been tied up. But I had both hands and feet to fight with. And my fingernails were pretty long for me and I was wearing my Timberland boots. Guzzarella still had his gun.

Some time ago, Ranger had given me self defense lessons. The assumption had always been that I'd be unarmed and my opponent had a gun or a knife. What the fuck was it again that he'd always said? Something like 'They think they're in charge because they're armed'.

I tried to remember what Ranger had taught me in the split-second it took Guzzarella to lean down to me, but in the end, my actions were more instinct than skill.

I jerked my head back and then forward, so that my forehead connected with his with the kind of satisfying thud that told me I would have a headache the next day. Guzzarella wasn't knocked out, but he was stunned and stumbled backwards. I was breathing hard as if I'd run the 100m sprint.

Without thinking about what I was doing, I followed up with a kick to the groin that sent his gonads up to his throat.

Guzzarella howled and crumbled to the floor, still holding his gun in his right hand. I didn't wait around to find out how long he needed to recover. I expected his goon to come barreling in at the first sound of trouble, to maybe run into him on my way out, but he wasn't there. As soon as I entered the hallway I found out why: Tank was leaning over his unconscious body on the ground, one knee on his back.

Tank clicked on a pair of handcuffs around the goon's wrists and looked up at me, frowning. "Are you okay? I had no idea, I swear I…" I raised my hands in the universal 'Stop' gesture, cutting him off.

"In the living room," I pressed out and gestured wildly, then I ran straight into my bathroom without waiting for Tank's response, expecting to throw up everything I'd ever eaten.

I dry-heaved a couple times, but thankfully didn't have to barf. I heard heavy footsteps outside and I assumed Tank had called in backup. My hands were shaking so hard, I splashed water all over the counter when I tried to wash my face.

I figured the Merry Men could handle the situation, so I pushed the bedroom door closed with my foot and let myself fall onto my bed, still hyperventilating. I lay like that, spread eagle on my back, until my heart rate returned to normal and I felt like I could inhale enough oxygen to support my body.

I got up slowly as my mind replayed what had happened, and I shook my head. If I'd stopped to think, I wouldn't have gone up against Guzzarella with his gun. You only had to look at him to know he wouldn't hesitate to shoot to kill. So why hadn't he? Maybe I'd guessed right, maybe I'd been the first one, the first woman anyway, to resist? I remembered the look of utter surprise on his face when he stumbled away from me, shaking his head to clear it.

So I go up against a maniac with a gun and then I hide in my bedroom? I was giving myself headaches trying to analyze my behavior.

A knock on the door brought me back to the here and now, and I opened the door myself. Tank took a step back when the door opened, and he still looked concerned. I couldn't see anything past him, he was blocking out the rest of the world as far as I was concerned, and I didn't mind.

"How're you doing?" He asked and reached out to touch my arm.

A thought flashed through my mind, 'It should be Ranger asking me this,' but before self pity could take over I took a deep breath and plastered a smile on my face. "I'm fine, thanks to you. You saved the day."

Tank shook his head slowly. "Wish I could say that, it would look better on the report. You did half the work and I'm gonna catch shit from Ranger for it." The ghost of a smile flashed over his face to show me he was joking as he lightly punched me.

"Are they…" I cleared my throat, "Are they gone?" I stood up on my tippy-toes to see beyond Tank, but he took half a step to the left to block my view.

"Just about," he said and pulled me close. I wrapped my arms around his waist, enjoying the comfort, resting my head on his broad chest. "You did great," he said softly and I was wondering why I was in his arms until I heard whistles and cat calls and Tank lifted his head to yell "Get back to work," over his shoulder.

He turned back to me and smiled. "That should give them something to talk about," he whispered and kissed my cheek.

I was incredulous. He was still in the role? I'd just been attacked by the Godfather's henchman and…well, had kicked the shit out of him without getting hurt, so actually I could see how Tank would be back to business as usual. Or, in this case, not as usual. The guys wouldn't have been able to see beyond Tank, I figured, they only saw my arms around his waist and Tank's lowered head, but I had no doubt they'd add their idea of what had happened when they told everyone at RangeMan.

I smiled at Tank. "Thanks for being there," I said. His smile disappeared. "I'm sorry it took me so long. I shouldn't have taken that call, I shouldn't have let you go up by yourself."

I hugged him quickly. "It's not your fault. Actually, it was sort of my mess, but I still wasn't expecting it." I sighed. "I don't think my adrenaline would have gotten me past the muscle, I spent all I had on Guzzarella."

Tank took a step back to look me in the eye. "You know them?" He asked, his surprise obvious.

"Well, uhm…" his eyes bored into mine in a way that was so familiar to me. Ranger had the same kind of look and I felt like my heart dropped a few inches when I thought of the last time Ranger looked at me like that. Had that really only been a day ago? It felt like weeks.

I took Tank's hand and stepped back into my bedroom. "Let me explain," I said and just to prove I knew how to play the game as well, I closed the bedroom door before I nudged Tank towards the bed.

"A few months ago, I needed a favor," I started as I took a seat next to Tank. Then I told him all about Harry's suite in Atlantic City and Guzzarella's phone calls. I kept my voice low so the guys wouldn't be able to hear we were just talking.

I'd already told Lula and Gazarra, so it was a little easier for me to tell Tank the background. "Does Ranger know?" He asked. I didn't want him to think I'd withheld the information from Ranger, so I told him the truth, of how I was going to tell Ranger as soon as he got back from the latest mission and how I'd never gotten a chance. Tank shook his head at that.

"He needs to know," he said. "He probably knows some of it already, but you need to tell him."

I was too tired to argue. If Ranger wanted to know how I was doing, he could call, I figured. As far as I was concerned, neither Harry nor Guzzarella were a threat anymore, so what was there to tell? 'I used to be in danger'? 'This guy used to follow me around'? I was sure Ranger had more important issues to deal with.

And Tank assured me Guzzarella was on his way to the police station and I would only have to sign the report at some point in the morning, I could manage that on my own, too.

"Let me sleep on it," I finally said. "I can't really think straight anymore. I think I'll wait until he gets back from Boston so I can tell him in person."

Tank looked at me for a long minute and finally almost-nodded. "I'll call you in the morning," he said as he got up. "You need to get some rest."

Now that the adrenaline surplus was wearing off, I was dead tired. And it had been a really long day. It was almost midnight now and I couldn't wait for this day to finally be over.

After Tank and the Merry Men had left, I made sure that Bob was alright and took a long shower to wash the horrible day away, then I wrapped myself in my fluffy robe and fell into bed.

I woke up in the same position I had passed out in, as if I hadn't moved during the night at all. And I couldn't remember any dreams as I squinted into the sunlight and pushed Bob away from my face. Who needs an alarm clock when they can have a slobbering dog every morning?

I decided that it was a brand new day and I'd start it by doing something useful. Like catching a skip or two.

I threw on sweats and a t-shirt, tamed my bed hair into a ponytail and took Bob for a quick walk, then I filled his food bowl and got coffee started.

While I was waiting for the coffee, I toasted a pop tart and straightened up my apartment, picking up stuff that had fallen off the shelves when I'd wrestled Guzzarella. I didn't want any reminders of the day before.

"A new day," I told Bob and the sleeping Rex. "Time to brush off my lasso of truth and set out to save the world!" Bob just gave me a look and Rex didn't bother to come out of his soup can. They knew I was just trying to convince myself.

After I'd taken a shower I took the FTA files from Connie and sat down with them and a cup of coffee to sort them by difficulty. I wanted to start out with something nice and easy.

Showered, dressed in jeans and a blue t-shirt and armed with the FTA files and all the weapons my utility belt would hold, Bob and I bolted down the stairs shortly after nine. I was determined to make this day work.

I got as far as the parking lot. For a moment I wondered what my neighbors were looking at, then they parted for me. One look at my car and the day'd gone to hell.

All four tires had been removed, my SUV was sitting on cinder blocks. The entire car was spray painted in neon orange, but there weren't any words I recognized, just random letters and symbols. Whoever had done it had made sure he'd covered all the windows with paint and then he'd taken a sledge hammer to the headlights. The car was totaled.

"Must be some case you're working on," Mrs Bestler said and clomped past me back to the door with her walker. Other people nodded at that and slowly moved on. My car being destroyed was not big news for my neighbors.

I couldn't blame them, they'd seen it all before. They couldn't know I hadn't dealt with a mean or dangerous FTA in months. Since I started at RangeMan, I'd only picked up small-bond FTAs to stay in the game, and those tended not to destroy my cars. I'd driven the SUV for over six months.

I sighed. It wasn't even my car, it was a RangeMan SUV, but it brought back so many memories. The first time one of my cars was spray-painted, it was a beat up Nova that I'd bought to find Morelli. I'd parked it on Stark Street and when Morelli had taken me back to the car, it had a lot of day-glo slogans on it. And in the years to come, Morelli had often been the first cop on the scene when one of my cars caught fire or exploded outright.

I pulled on Bob's leash and left the parking lot for the street. I knew I was supposed to call the cops and my insurance company, but I couldn't deal with that right away. If I called the cops, it wouldn't be Morelli who'd respond.

And I couldn't call Ranger because Ranger was out of town. He'd been with me through a lot of car deaths. I could see him smile and shake his head at the sight of my car. Then he'd pull me towards him and tell me it was replaceable and make me feel better.

The one thing I didn't get was why I hadn't noticed the car before. You'd think that a spray-painted car on cinder blocks would get my attention even if I was sleep-deprived and lacking caffeine. So maybe this had only happened in the past hour. That would explain why my neighbors hadn't banged my door down yet, they'd only just discovered it themselves.

"Whatever," I said to Bob. "It's gone, it's dead." Bob looked at me with pity. I couldn't blame him, this was pathetic. The most pathetic part was that I wasn't mourning the car, I was wallowing because I didn't have a shoulder to cry on. Mental head slap.

I headed straight for the bakery at the corner, got a dozen donuts and sat down on the bench at the bus stop in front of the bakery, dividing up the goods.

I don't know what it is about sugar and lard, but with way too much of them in me, I always feel better. Bob and I were on our last donut and I had calmed down enough to focus again.

Self pity, as usual, wouldn't get me anywhere, neither was lamenting the loss of a car. What I should focus on was finding out who did it.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed RangeMan's control room. "Don't tell me you won't be in today," Lester said by way of greeting. I don't know if he does it on purpose, but he always finds a way to make me smile.

"I'll be in later," I told him. "Is Tank in?"

"What, I'm not good enough for you any more?" Lester replied and I could imagine his face as he pretended to be hurt. "Fine, hang on," he said before I got a chance to ensure him he'd always be good enough. Good thing I'd gone with Lula's advice, I thought. Lester might have had a little too much fun pretending we were an item.

"Everything okay?" Tank greeted me. Apparently 'Hello' was not part of the RangeMan etiquette. And the only reason I cared was so that I could distract myself.

"What happened to them?" I blurted out, caught myself and cleared my throat. "I mean the men you took to the police last night, are they still in jail?"

Tank chuckled and it was a deep rich sound that made me feel comfortable for some reason. "I knew what you meant," he said. "We got them booked, but unfortunately I couldn't arrange for the key to be thrown away. Any reason you need to know this now?"

I sighed. I really didn't want to tell Tank about another one of my cars going to car heaven, but I'd never lied to him and wouldn't start over something like this. "My car was vandalized," I simply said. "I'm trying to narrow down the list of subjects."

"You okay?" Tank wanted to know as I could hear him type on his keyboard, probably checking my SUV's GPS. "Your signal is still coming through strong."

I sighed again and Bob sent me a look but then leaned against my leg for comfort. "I'm fine. They spray-painted and banged it up, it didn't blow up."

"Are you okay?" Tank asked again. I bit my lip. No, I was not okay, but it had nothing to do with the car. It had everything to do with my life being too full of surprises lately.

"Did you have an okay night?" Tank prodded when I didn't respond. I was surprised at how well he knew me and how well he read my silence.

"I was okay until I saw the car," I admitted.

"It's just a car, Steph," Tank said and I grimaced. That was Ranger's line. But before I could drift back into patheticness, I straightened my shoulders and took a deep breath.

"I know," I said, nodding as if he could see me. "I guess it was just the last straw. I'm fine, really. Nothing a couple donuts won't fix." I eyed the empty bakery bag. After all, I'd only had half a dozen.

"Did you call the cops? You need a ride to the office?" Tank asked. I hadn't even thought as far as going to work.

"No and yes," I said. "I only just discovered the mess and didn't have a chance to call the cops yet. But I'd appreciate a lift." Okay, so that was a little fib, but one could argue I didn't have the time to make another phone call yet.

"I'll call it in and pick you up in fifteen," Tank said and disconnected and I was very happy to have him in my life at the moment to take care of everything. I now understood what Lula saw in him.

The blue and white was already in the parking lot when I cut through the lobby and exited through the back door. I didn't know the two officers, but I'd seen them around and offered them a donut from the new bag.

"You know, it's a shame we stopped betting on your next disaster," the officer closest to me said, taking a donut. "This would have made somebody real happy."

The second officer laughed at that and declined a doughnut. Two reasons not to like him, I decided. "Can I see the registration?" He asked, all efficient.

They started asking the neighbors if anybody had seen anything when Tank arrived. Bob went into his usual happy dance at the sight of Tank, so I let him off the leash before he could drag me with him as he rushed over.

Tank looked at the SUV wreck and whistled. "Thorough job." Now that I'd had my sugar fix, I was able to look at the car without choking up. I guess it helped that it was a company car, not something I was emotionally attached to, none of the cars with a history.

Tank cut his eyes to me, "You sure you okay?" He asked me again and I nodded again. "I'm fine. Just took me by surprise I guess."

Tank didn't look convinced but probably decided to let it drop for the time being and I thanked him silently for that.

"Any ideas?" I knew he meant about who'd done it. I shook my head. Even if Guzzarella hadn't been in prison awaiting his arraignment, I couldn't see him with a spray can. He'd kill me without blinking, but I couldn't see him keying a car. "Unless it's an 'old friend', I have no idea."

Tank looked from the wreckage to me. "Which old friend?" He raised an eyebrow at me. The more time I spent with him, the more I noticed how much he and Ranger were alike in their mannerisms, it was as if they used each other for a mirror.

I shrugged. "Pick one, I guess. I was thinking someone who still holds a grudge from back in the day," I waved my hand over my back to indicate the past, although back in the day could be less than a year ago. It had turned out taking felons to prison when they don't want to go can make you a lot of enemies. Go figure.

Tank looked at me for another beat, probably trying to determine if I was holding back again. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Harry's men earlier," I said. "But really, that's the only thing you didn't know about, I have no idea who did this." I gestured at the car.

Tank took another look at the SUV. "Nothing left to do here," he said, but his face had lost all expression, it was the blank face. There was something _he_ was not telling _me_.

"I need to wait for the officers to…" Tank waved me off. "You just have to sign the report at the station later for the insurance. They have everything they need from you." Since they had already asked me what, if anything, I'd seen, Tank was probably right. We got into his SUV and buckled in.

"Do _you_ have any idea who could have done this?" I challenged him. Tank started the car and maneuvered it out of the parking lot. "No," he said without looking at me. "But I know I don't like it."

"You think he'll attack me next? You think I should stay at your place for my own good so you can protect me?" I could barely keep my straight face, but I was determined to find out if Tank knew anything.

"What? No! I meant…" he cut his eyes to me and grinned. "Contrary to popular belief, I don't have a death wish."

I frowned at him. "It's not like someone's trying to kill me on a regular basis, and it was just a car…"

Tank pulled over and turned in his seat to face me. "That's not what I meant and you know it. A dinner, or a hug, while in public is all well. I don't want to face Ranger if he found out I'd spent 'quality time' with you in private."

I smiled. "That's sweet of you. But you don't need to worry about that anymore, remember? Ranger and I are over, he left me."

"A lot you know," Tank grumbled and got the car back into traffic. "What that's supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Can we talk about this at the office?" Tank asked and I realized I'd broken his driving zone and seriously violated the 'no talking' rule. "Fine," I said and sank back into my seat. I really wanted to believe Tank but I also wanted to get on with my life. Hoping that Ranger still cared for me wouldn't help with that. If Tank was hoping I'd forget by the time we got to the office, he didn't know me after all. I usually went with denial, but since he'd brought it up, I needed to know.

I managed to stay quiet for the entire ride to the office and I could see Bob shift uncomfortably in the backseat, probably feeling my nervous energy.

"Okay, we're in the office," I said when we got off the elevator on the 5th floor. Tank rolled his eyes and motioned me towards Ranger's office.

I could feel all eyes on us as I hurried to keep up with Tank, but I didn't want to waste time greeting everyone. Tank might remember he had an important meeting to attend or a phone call to make, and by the time that was over, I would have lost my courage to prod.

"So why do you think Ranger would care if he heard we were together and is that why you agreed to the game right away?" I confronted him as soon as he'd closed the office door behind us. Tank went past me and sat down in the executive chair, clearly trying to come up with a good answer.

"Well?" I pushed, putting my hands on the desk palms down and leaning forward. It may have even looked intimidating for a regular-sized man, but Tank still had to look down to see me even though he was sitting.

"Christ, Steph," he began and ran a hand over his bald head. I raised my eyebrows at him in what I hoped looked like silent encouragement.

"You think he just woke up one day and stopped caring about you?" Tank asked when it was obvious I wouldn't give up.

"He broke up with me," I said as patiently as I could manage. "I'd say whether he cares or not doesn't matter." I shoved my hands into my pockets so I couldn't flail my arms. Even though they were my own words, they stung. Every time I thought of Ranger, the thought ended with '…and we're no longer together.' But I didn't want to cry in front of Ranger.

"He broke up with you to _protect _you," Tank explained, but his blank face had slid into place, a dead giveaway. Whenever Ranger showed his blank face, it was to hide his emotions. So there were emotions to hide.

"You said you didn't believe that," I pointed out, not quite convinced anymore. Tank sighed and rubbed his head again. Then I had a thought.

"Did you talk to Ranger since yesterday?" I asked Tank and he lowered his eyes. Bingo. Ranger must have said something to change Tank's mind.

"I did," he admitted. "But not about you, it was a standard situation report. I told him the events of the last 24 hours and he told me that he'd be back on Friday." He picked up a pencil and started twirling it between his fingers.

"So really it was about me. If you shared what happened at my apartment." So Ranger knew. And hadn't come. I felt the tears well up inside and bit my lip to fight them back.

Tank let out a long breath. "Yeah, he knows."

"And that's why you changed your mind?" I swallowed and sat down in the visitor's chair to take a calming breath. I was afraid I'd grab his shirt and shake him until he told me what I wanted to know if I kept standing close to him. Not that I could shake him, but I didn't want to be tempted to try.

Tank shook his head. "I didn't. I'm still with you. I told you from the start, I'm helping you because I think Ranger needs a push."

Right. But then his reaction earlier didn't make any sense. "Wouldn't part of the plan include us spending time together?" Tank sighed exasperated.

"Was there more to the conversation? Something you're not telling me?" I knew there was no way Tank would tell me anything he didn't want to but I was hoping a little prodding might convince him. I realized sitting down had been a bad move as I was squirming in my seat.

Tank was still looking at the pencil in his hand. "He told me to take care of you while he's away," he finally said and looked up. "And so far, I fucked up twice. And he knows or is going to know every last detail of my fuckups. So his patience with me is wearing pretty thin right about now. I just don't want to push him too far. So for this…" he pointed first at me and then at himself, "...plan to work, I need you to stay focused."

I thought of asking where Tank was and what this man sitting in front of me had done with him, but I bit my lip. I didn't think mocking him would help me find out what they'd talked about.

"And you sounded like you'd given up earlier," he finished. A Dr. Phil from Tank. I had no comeback.

I looked at him for a long minute, then I took another deep breath. "Okay," I said, trying to keep my breathing even. It didn't help, I jumped up and started pacing. I was trying to at least look calm but I really felt like crying or screaming or both. Another deep breath.

"That was easily the longest speech I've ever heard you give." I stopped in front of the desk and leaned in again, making sure I had Tank's attention. His eyes narrowed marginally, as if he was trying to foresee my next move.

"But I still don't get it. If I don't do anything, I lose him. If I beg him to stay, I lose him. And now you're telling me that if I flirt with you and he finds out, I lose him?" The first of the tears I'd been fighting spilled over and ran down my cheek and I swiped at it impatiently.

"I don't need to know how to lose him, I need to know how to get him back!"

TBC

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A/N: What do you think Steph should do about her dilemma? And where the hell is Ranger? Should a dead car even register with her? 


	9. Chapter 9

This is the sequel to 'Living on a Prayer' I was threatening…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. He was killed in chapter 1 of LOAP. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read LOAP for it to make sense.

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Thank you all so much for your encouraging feedback, I wouldn't be able to continue without it. Me? Dropping hints? Naaaah...

Stayce, vielen lieben Dank for everything you do for me, for not laughing at my stupid mistakes, for never turning me down and for always being there fore me!

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 9

Tank didn't blink. He looked at me calmly and got up. His intense stare reminded me so much of Ranger that I had to stifle a sob and sank back into the chair, covering my face with my hands.

"I'm sorry," I said and meant it. "None of this is your fault, I had to vent." I closed my eyes and counted to ten. It worked, I calmed down enough to stop crying.

"I know." Tank came around the desk and leaned against it, facing me, crossing his arms over his chest. "But you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start acting like you mean it."

I looked up at him to see if he was kidding, but there wasn't even the ghost of a smile on his face. Apparently, Tank was only Dr. Phil when he was _behind_ the desk.

Still, he was right. I straightened in my chair. "I mean it."

Now Tank smiled. He had a beautiful smile that made it easy to understand what Lula saw in him. "Okay then. I think what's more important than Ranger right now is your life."

He turned and picked up a file from his desk. "A RangeMan company SUV was vandalized. The obvious first question is, did they mean to send a message to RangeMan or to you?"

Oh, that kind of action. I really didn't think I could focus on the SUV. I didn't think I'd be able to think about anything but Ranger, now that I'd open the flood gates, so to say.

"I don't think…" I started but Tank interrupted me. "Did you hear anything I said?" He asked.

I stood up because my neck was starting to hurt from looking up at him. I thought of the cheesy line 'My life is not important without him', but that wasn't true. My life _was_ important. I just didn't see how someone destroying a car was threatening my life. Maybe I was jaded from all the cars blowing up around me.

"I heard you," I said. "But right now, I couldn't possibly care less about the fucking car!"

"But that's what I meant, Steph," Tank said patiently. "The only thing you can focus on is Ranger."

I scoffed. "I thought you wanted me focused on him." I crossed my arms over my chest defiantly.

He sighed. "I said I wanted you focused. I didn't say focused only on Ranger. Don't you get it?" He threw his hands up in the air and I flinched, I hadn't expected him to move. "If you get hurt because all you can think of is him, what conclusion do you think he draws from that?"

I opened my mouth to tell him I didn't give a shit about Ranger's conclusions when I realized what he'd meant. "That he is bad for me," I almost whispered.

Tank nodded.

"That he endangers me by being in my life, even if all I do is think of him and am not aware of my surroundings," I continued. Tank nodded again.

"Shit." I fell back into the chair, deflated. Tank was right. The irony was hilarious. I couldn't think straight because Ranger left me and he left me because he wanted to protect me and I only needed protection because all I could think about was him.

"Are you saying you have a plan?" I asked.

Tank grinned and picked the file back up. "Like I said, the obvious first question is, did they mean to send a message to RangeMan or to you when they destroyed that SUV?"

"Focus on work?" I guessed.

"Show him how independent you are. Show him you can take care of yourself," Tank clarified.

"But I'm not. And I can't. If you hadn't been there last night…"  
"You still would have taken care of a notorious gunman all by yourself," Tank completed for me. "You can do a lot more than you give yourself credit for at the moment."

I didn't have the energy to argue any further, so I leaned against the chair I'd been sitting in and sighed.

"I have the guys working on possible enemies for both you and RangeMan, but you could speed this up if you could come up with a list," Tank came back to the subject.

Okay, I decided, it was worth a try. I took the folder from him and opened it. There was a RangeMan incident report, I knew that the police report would be faxed over later and photos would be added. "So this is a case? It was just a car, no one was hurt."

"Yet," Tank cautioned, sounding exactly like Ranger again. I studied the report and handed it back to him just as a loud knock on the door made me flinch.

"Think about that list," Tank said and straightened before he hollered, "Come in!"

The door opened and Lester poked his head through, grinning. "You two decent?"

I smiled for the first time that day and rolled my eyes. "I'll work on the list," I told Tank and left the office. The last thing I heard before I closed the door was Lester, "I found something that could be bad…"

Bob was waiting outside the office for me, probably Lester had entertained him until now. I told him what a good boy he was and he trotted after me when I got coffee from the kitchen and then sat down at my desk.

My inbox was full of background check requests and I decided doing a couple of them would distract me enough to start a list of potential enemies. Bob settled on his dog bed in the next cube and I went to work.

I knew Tank was standing behind me fifteen minutes later because he eclipsed all the overhead lights and my cube turned dark.

"Can I see you in the conference room?" He asked before I had fully turned around. "Why the…" I started but Tank had already left for the conference room and Lester was right behind him.

I knew I hadn't missed a meeting, nothing had been planned.

Junior and Bobby were already seated around the oblong conference table when I entered. Tank took a Ranger's chair at the head. He was in charge when Ranger was out of town.

Lester was sitting on his right and pulled out a chair for me. There were black and white pictures on the table, blown up to 8"X10", all showing my former car from different angles.

I'd had an uneasy feeling when Tank just summoned me to the conference room, now it was confirmed: the meeting was about me. And I was not going to like the news.

"Steph," Tank began when we were all seated. "We got some news that may help us identify who vandalized your car." He picked up the photos and handed them to me. "I think we can definitely put him on the shortlist of possible suspects."

I leafed through the pictures the cops had taken and sent over. I still couldn't see anything, and certainly not a signature. "Am I supposed to read the guy's name here?" I looked up and met Lester's eyes.

Lester was showing his blank face. I'd never seen a blank face on Lester. Now I was scared.

"Who is it?" I asked, looking from Lester to Tank to Bobby to Junior. They shifted their attention from me to Tank. Tank picket up a sheet of paper.

"Anton Ward was released on parole yesterday," he handed me the report. "And word is the Slayers are preparing for his triumphant return."

If I'd been standing, I would have collapsed. It was a good thing I was sitting down. I broke out in a cold sweat and my heart was beating way too fast. I didn't need to read the report to know what it said.

Anton Ward. The Red Devil robber, the member of the Slayers who Lula, Connie and I had kidnapped.

"How…" I began, but I knew the answer. Probably Anton had been a choir boy in prison, or he'd had a good lawyer. Or both. 'Piece of shit legal system', as Lula called it.

"Just great," I sighed. Because my life really didn't suck enough lately. It just figured that ghosts from the past would come back to haunt me. I'd closed that chapter when Ward went to prison, I'd tried to believe in our justice system.

Tank ignored my comment. "Ward is at the top of our suspect list," he said. I nodded.

"And I think until we get him or rule him out, you should stay here." Now the Merry Men nodded, but I just stared at Tank. And when his words sank in, I snapped out of my initial shock.

"You mean like house arrest? Protective custody?" I asked and my voice had a shrill undertone. I was starting to get irritated and slowly got up. "Based on these?" I pointed at the pictures on the table. "Don't I get a say in this?"

I thought he was moving way too fast. I couldn't hide at Range Man. That would mean I'd admit fear, and I'd much rather pretend Ward was still in prison and move on as if nothing had happened.

I looked at Lester, hoping for some backup. "Sorry, Hon," he said. "Let's go over everything we have," he shot Tank a look, "all the evidence so far. It really doesn't look good, you'll be safer here, Steph."

"No, not like house arrest," Tank said, ignoring Lester. "Like we can protect you around the clock. Like you don't live in an apartment with a papier-mâché door. Like you move into one of the studio apartments on the fourth floor."

I don't think I'd ever heard that tone of voice from Tank before. The kind of tone that didn't leave room for arguments. The kind of tone that was 'my way or the high way'.

"Well, I think you're jumping to conclusions," I said, my hands on my hips. I heard one of the guys suck in air. "Just because Ward is out there and someone maimed my car, doesn't mean the two are related."

The room was quiet around me. Apparently they weren't used to someone arguimg with the Merry Man in charge, whether it was Ranger or Tank.

"And you know I hate hiding," I finished. Tank stood up and walked over to me. I tried to glare at him, but I don't know if it had any impact, since I had to crane my neck to look at him, he was standing so close.

He took my hand. "Please?" I think it was Bobby who gasped this time. I doubt he'd ever heard Tank use 'please'.

Tank held on to my hand but looked at the guys. "Santos, get me Ward's location ASAP and make sure we know everything, even the rumors," he barked and the Merry Men took that as the signal that the meeting was adjourned.

"You got it," Lester confirmed on his way out. Seconds later, I heard the door close behind him.

I pulled my hand out of Tank's. "Don't you think you should have told me this in private? Why the audience?"

Tank blew out a long breath. "For some reason I thought it would be easier to convince you in public." He crossed his arms over his chest. "This is serious, Steph. And like I told you before, I can't take any risks where you're concerned."

Understanding dawned on me. "Ranger told you to keep me here?" Tank looked pained.

"Although he's not here to assess the situation, hasn't seen my car or heard from Ward, and knows that I haven't received any threats, but he told you to keep me here?"

Tank was wearing his blank face now but he nodded slowly. I couldn't blame him. No man stands a chance arguing with a Burg girl on a roll. And I was getting pissed. Who did Ranger think he was, ordering me around? Worse, telling his employees to order me around. Okay, so Tank was more than Ranger's employee, but still.

"I think Ranger gave up the right to give me orders when he broke up with me," I said and turned to go.

Tank put a hand on my elbow. "Remember what we talked about earlier? This would be another example."

"I remember you telling me you want me independent. This is me independent. I am not hiding."

I crossed my arms over my chest and did my best to look confident and in control.

Tank looked up at the ceiling exasperated, probably cursing Ranger as much as I was.

"It's not an order, Steph," he tried again. "It's a safety precaution. After what happened in your apartment last night I thought you'd welcome the idea of living somewhere safe."

He had a point there. Everybody and there brother could and would break into my apartment. And I knew he was acting out of concern for me, so I couldn't be mad at him.

"Why don't we wait what we can find out until tonight," I suggested. "If we find any evidence that Ward is in Trenton and is stalking me, I'll pick Rex up and move in."

Tank ran a hand over his head, probably trying to figure out who was easier to handle, me or Ranger.

"Okay," he finally said. "But if you're going home, you're not going alone. Deal?"

"Deal. If you're the one taking me home." I smiled at him and he rolled his eyes.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," he agreed and ushered me back into the hall. When we were back in the control room and all eyes were on us, I turned around to face him.

"Thank you," I said softly and left for my cube.

"Everything okay, honey?" Lester asked from his position at the monitors. I waved and nodded and sat back down at my desk. Bob was fast asleep and snoring in the next cube.

I looked at my inbox and decided to get back to running the searches while I worked on my list. I didn't want Anton Ward to be the vandal. I never wanted to see his ugly face again.

Connie, Lula and I had kidnapped him, but we didn't get any information from him until Ranger stepped in. He'd been arrested and convicted and I haven't thought about him since.

I started a background check for Sales and sat back to think about my list of possible car exterminators.

Tank was right, Ward was at the top of the list now that he was out of prison. I doubted he'd forgotten I was the one who put him there.

When the check was complete, I printed out the results and started my own search, typing in all the FTAs I could remember, those who'd threatened to get even, and their status. And then there was Teddy.

Teddy Gardner the psychopath. He had murdered Joe and kidnapped me, convinced I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Joe had died because of Gardner's delusional love for me. Just thinking his name made my hands shake, even after six months, the memory hurt.

I typed his name in as fast as I could and tried to ignore everything it said about him until I got to his arrest date. Current status: jailed.

I sighed in relief and was able to breathe semi-normally again. Had Gardner been a possible suspect, I would have locked _myself_ in a fourth floor apartment. If I never saw him again, it would be too soon.

After an hour, I had confirmed that all the men on my list were either still in jail or had verified addresses in other states.

Tank was wrong. Whoever did it, wasn't after me. That's what it was. I'd have to give him hell for scaring me like that, but he'd been wrong. Probably a disgruntled RangeMan customer or something.

I called my mom to ensure her I was alive and kicking before she could panic again, and I listened to a voicemail from Harry, apologizing for Guzzarella, but wanting an update all the same. That would have to wait, at least until I could make it to the bonds office again. One crisis at a time, I decided.

I picked up all the print-outs and took the seat next to Lester. When he looked up, I put all the papers on the desk.

"It's not me. Everyone who hates me is in jail," I announced, tapping my finger on the print-outs for emphasis.

I smiled, both relieved and a bit proud. I'd been independent. I'd done the smart thing rather than the run-and-hide thing. And it had made me feel better, so on that point, Tank won.

Lester picked up the reports and started leafing through them. "Good work, Steph," he said after a few minutes. "Some of these were on my list, too. And some of them, I would have never thought of."

"So you see? I'm perfectly safe," I said, pointing at the reports again. Lester picked up the file he'd been working on.

"They didn't find any fingerprints on the car," he said, reading over the information again. "So I can't give you hard evidence. But can you just stay here because of my spidey sense?" He looked up and did the best puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen on him. I knew he was using my expression to tease me and I laughed. I thought if he teased, he must be kidding. I was wrong.

"All kidding aside, I mean it Steph," he said and put his hand on my forearm. "Stay as a personal favor." His face was serious now and it threw me a little because Lester usually talked in jokes and innuendos.

"Tank promised I could go home if we can't find any evidence," I said. "But he'll be with me."

Lester seemed to relax. "So you're not running off to Atlantic City?" The smile was back. I rolled my eyes in response. He often teased me about the time I ran off to Atlantic City and got myself kidnapped.

"How come I'm not the one taking you home? I already proved I'd give my life for you?" He tried to look wounded but only managed clueless and I had to laugh at his expression.

"I think we'll have to wait until you're back to 100 percent," I said, teasing him. "You know I wouldn't accept anything less…"

Now we were both laughing and it felt good. For at least that moment, it felt like there was nothing wrong. I knew Lester meant it, too, even though he was still healing, he would not hesitate to keep me safe.

"I'll go over these and compare them to what I have. Tank wants to regroup this afternoon." Lester said and turned back to his monitor. He sent me a smile and a wink, "Get back to work Plum!"

I slapped the back of his head lightly on my way back to my cube and his laughter followed me.

It was almost noon when I started the next background check, this one for HR. I was convinced the Merry Men had overreacted and that I had it right. If Anton Ward had killed my car, he would have wanted me to know about it, he would have left a message. I just needed to give Tank and Lester enough time to see it.

By three, I'd cleaned out my inbox and logged off my computer. I hadn't seen Tank since the meeting, so I got up and walked over to the office. The door was closed, so I knocked and waited for Tank to call me in.

He was sitting behind the desk, which was littered with piles of papers. He looked stressed, frowning at the computer screen.

"Everything okay?" I asked as I walked over to the visitor's chair. He sighed and ran a hand over his bald head. I'd come to think of that gesture as Tank's sure sign of stress.

"Ranger does all this shit usually, it takes me forever," he said and punched a few keys, made some notes and then he looked up.

"You have perfect timing, I was just about to call you guys in for a meeting," he leaned back and laced his hands behind his head. "Find anything?"

"Lester has my reports," I explained. "I found plenty. For starters, all the bad guys in my life are safely locked away."

"Except for one," Tank interrupted.

"Except for one," I admitted but waved it off. "But we have no evidence that he's even in the area."

Tank looked heavenwards again and I almost expected him to throw his hands up and do one of my mom's famous 'Why me?', and the thought made me smile.

"We'll see what Bobby and Lester have found," he cautioned as he leaned forward, picked up the desk phone and called the two over the Intercom.

The meeting was pretty short. Tank, Lester and Bobby were trying to convince me that the absence of evidence, in this case fingerprints or a message, was indeed evidence, whereas I kept insisting that only evidence was evidence.

"Look guys," I finally said. "I know you're only trying to keep me safe, and I appreciate that. And as soon as there's even the rumor of danger, I swear I'll let you know and do whatever you want." I made sure I made eye contact with them as I spoke and tried to smile encouragingly.

"But for right now, trust me, you don't want to keep me here. I'd feel like a caged animal and if you think I have an attitude now, you ain't seen nothing yet."

Bobby looked from me to Tank, shaking his head. "Didn't the boss say…"

Tank held up a hand to stop him. "It really doesn't matter what was said before. I'm in charge and I think Steph's right."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise but I didn't want to butt in when Tank was on the right track. "She'll be safe with me," Tank continued and looked at me. "We weren't gonna lock you up, but I see your point. And I have a feeling all our training wouldn't be a match for your _attitude_…" He rolled his eyes at the last word to show me and the guys exactly how he felt about it, but then he smiled.

"Hey," I complained in fake protest and Tank winked at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Lester looking at Bobby with raised eyebrows and Bobby almost-shrugging.

"Santos, if you find anything, call me," Tank said as he stood up. Lester gathered his papers and took my reports he had given back to me at the beginning of the meeting. "Sure thing," he said, getting up. But when I glanced at him as he walked off, he looked really confused.

I bit my lip as understanding hit me. Tank knew how to do it all: He was doing his job by protecting me and he was all but flirting with me to make the Merry Men at least wonder.

So that's why Lula had suggested him right away, she must have known about his talents, whereas I'd never spent enough time with Tank to discover them.

"That plan work for you?" He asked me when Bobby and Lester had cleared out.

"Where you 'in character' just now? Was that part of the plan?"

Tank grinned. "Your safety is not part of the plan, or the game, or whatever you want to call it. But if I can combine the two, I will. Less to remember. Plus, Santos is the resident gossip monger." He gathered up some papers and turned to the computer.

"I have a lot of work to finish up here, can you wait till five?" He asked.

I nodded, "Sure thing," I said, imitating Lester and that got me another grin. "I have to walk Bob and then I'll help Lester with the searches." Tank nodded and focused his attention on the monitor.

I was still incredulous when I left his office. I'd noticed the night before that he'd taken advantage of the situation and hugged me in front of the guys. Probably Tank was a lot less shaken by the disasters in my life, so it was easier for him to switch. Whatever the reason, he was playing our little game much better than I was at the moment. I made a mental note to take my cues from him more, starting now.

When I got back to my cube, Lester was not at his station and Bob wasn't on his bed, but there were three new requests in my inbox. I decided to let them wait until after a coffee break and went in search of snacks to the break room.

Lester and Bob came back after an hour, but I didn't see Tank come out of his office. Bobby checked in with the news that there were no news and by five, I'd done all the search requests and printed them out.

Just as I was logging off and shutting down, Lula called, wanting an update.

"I haven't seen my man in days, and you don't come by to tell me what's up. I don't got to be jealous, do I?"

"No," I assured her, although I knew she'd been half-kidding. "And I would have called you if anything happened. My car died this morning, otherwise I would have been in the office." And then I had to fill her in on the details, since this was a new car death for me. I didn't mention anything about Ward, since that was just a rumor as far as I was concerned.

Lula wanted more details about what I'd been doing with Tank, but I told her I was still at work and I'd be at the bonds office in the morning. She got the hint that I couldn't talk freely, since the Merry Men were listening.

I checked with Lester and Bobby, but neither of them had heard anything. They cautioned they hadn't tapped all their sources yet, but I was confident I had it right.

And just after five, Tank announced he was ready to go if I was. Bob immediately jumped to his feet and wagged his tail. "We're ready," I announced and Tank laughed.

I kind of liked being chauffeured by Tank. It was impossible not to feel completely safe in his presence. For one, he could squash half of all possible attackers, but more importantly, he was so calm, so in charge, so like…fuck, I'd gone almost half a day without thinking about Ranger and now his right-hand man, possessing all of Ranger's qualities was another reminder of what I no longer had. I sighed, closed my eyes and sank back in my seat and I could feel Tank's eyes on me.

"I'm fine," I said before he could ask and he chuckled. "You know we're gonna start rumors if you keep picking me up and driving me home," I changed the topics.

"That's the idea, cookie," Tank said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

We pulled into my lot ten minutes later, and Tank slowed down immediately, scanning the parked cars. "See anything that doesn't belong?" He asked and I made sure I could identify all cars' owners.

"Nope, all my neighbors' good American cars are here," I told him. That was the good thing about living in a house full of seniors: their cars were easily identified. There were no silver Toyotas or white Nissans, or any other color and make you see a dozen times in every street.

"Good," Tank said and radioed the status in as he parked his SUV in a free spot by the dumpster.

"You don't have to…" I was going to say 'come in', but Tank sent me a look. "I pick you up, I take you home, no date of mine unlocks her own door," he said and winked as he got out of the car.

I was still speechless when he opened my car door a minute later and he gallantly extended his hand to help me out, grinning now. I looked around. "Are they watching us?" I asked, just in case I couldn't see the Merry Men parked close by.

"No," Tank said. "But they're monitoring my GPS. Besides, I still need to make sure there are no surprises in your apartment."

I'd almost managed to deny the night before had ever happened. _Of course_ I wanted Tank to see me upstairs! What had I been thinking?

Probably I'd been thinking I was independent and in charge now. Silly me.

We took Bob for a short walk so he could take care of business. I did not pay attention to my surroundings because I figured Tank's vigilance would be enough for two. We made it back to my building without incident.

We rode the elevator up in comfortable silence. I stole a look at Tank and wondered if he ever looked tired, or ever 'let his hair down', so to speak. I'd have to ask Lula about that when I called her later.

We'd taken the elevator because I'd told Tank he could meet me upstairs if he insisted on taking the stairs. That had earned me another eye roll, and they almost made me giggle now every time I saw one, and a nudge into the elevator. Now why hadn't I tried that one before?

On my floor, Tank took the keys out of my hand and motioned for me to stand behind him. Now _I_ rolled my eyes to pretend to be annoyed when actually I appreciated his help. Bob got the signal, too, and stopped dancing around.

Tank unlocked my front door, slipped through and closed it. I took that as the sign to wait outside. Sure enough, he reappeared after a couple minutes and let me in.

"All clear," he said. "Your hamster looks hungry though."

I laughed and pushed past him to the kitchen where I filled Bob's food and water bowls and dropped a grape into Rex's cage.

Tank joined me a moment later and we both watched Rex stuff the grape into his cheeks and disappear into his soup can.

"You want me to stay?" He asked. I thought about that. I didn't really want company, but I had to admit Guzzarella's visit had rattled me.

My stomach growled, reminding me I hadn't eaten since the tuna on multigrain at lunch. "Have you had dinner?" I asked, reaching for the take-out menus I kept over the microwave.

Tank laughed as he shook his head and took the menus from me. He picked a deli on Hamilton, probably because they seemed the healthiest and I called in our order to be delivered.

Tank was wrestling with Bob on the floor when the food came, and I'd relaxed to the point where I'd forgotten why he was in my apartment. Then the doorbell rang and Tank was on his feet and with his gun in hand in a split-second, only lowering it after he'd verified the visitor was indeed the delivery guy. And my relaxed state was gone, but at least I had a meatball sub to look forward to.

I took the bag of food into the living room, got plates and beers from the kitchen and divided up the sandwiches between Bob, Tank and me.

I'd turned on the TV and we watched while we ate. Tank declined another beer, so I had three and I didn't even notice how time passed after dinner until Tank got up and announced that he better man his post or he'd fall asleep on the couch. It was past ten. I knew he was kidding about the falling asleep part.

"You can stay here, if you like," I suggested and at his curious look I added "My couch is quite comfortable."

Tank tried to look disappointed but his eyes were smiling. "Tempting, but I wouldn't be able to see the perimeter. I'll be better off in the parking lot." He got up, stretched and I walked him to the door.

"Call me if you need anything," he said and kissed my cheek. "And lock this." He pointed at the door.

"I will," I promised and watched him fill out almost the entire hallway on his way to the staircase.

I closed and locked the door, still smiling. Tank had been great company. I didn't even know why I was surprised at that, I guess I'd just figured him wrong.

"Can't judge a book by its cover," I told Bob on my way to bed. I took my shoulder bag with me to put my gun on the nightstand and get my cell phone out to call Lula as promised.

I opened my bedroom door with one hand on my shoe laces to untie them and my mind on how I could maybe stall Harry for a few days until I could get the car mess sorted.

And then I froze, my heart leaping into my throat leaving me unable to even breathe. Little black dots danced in front of my eyes and the room began to sway.

"Alone at last, huh?"

TBC

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A/N: I know what you're thinking: What now?, am I right? Do you think Steph may have forgotten a name on her list? 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Just language, no spoilers

Thank you all so very much for your encouraging feedback, you cannot imagine what it means to me. If you have anything to say, please let me know.

This chapter wouldn't be the same without Stayce's tireless efforts. Her nudges, her editing and her help made this possible. Thanks Babe.

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 10

Bells started clanging in my head and I had to hold on to the door knob to keep my balance. My shoulder bag slipped from my fingers and landed on the floor with a soft 'thump'.

I'd never had that kind of reaction to seeing anyone before, probably it was the stress I'd been on the last few days that made me overreact.

"Wha…" I started, but my voice only came out as a hoarse croak. I cleared my throat and licked my lips. "What are you doing here?"

Of all the things I'd had on my mind when I was on my way to the bathroom, Ranger wasn't one of them for a change. Yet here he was, sitting on my bed with his long legs stretched out in front of him on the floor, his arms crossed over his chest, dressed in black from his skin-tight t-shirt to his combat boots.

His face didn't give any emotions away, he was looking at me calmly, but I had a feeling he wasn't missing anything.

"Waiting for you," he finally said, still not moving.

My heart rate was still struggling to return to normal. When I opened the door, I hadn't recognized Ranger. My eyes had seen him, but my brain had screamed 'INTRUDER' and clicked into panic mode. Only panic mode had been used a little too much lately, so it didn't contemplate flight or fight, only faint or stay conscious. Luckily I managed to stay conscious.

Now the 'safety mode' had come on and was slowly telling all my body parts to relax. Except my blood pressure. That was going into stroke range, and it had nothing to do with panic, it was outrage, it was anger. The momentary joy I felt at recognizing Ranger was replaced by the piercing pain of knowing he wanted nothing to do with me and the pain was replaced by anger that he had purposely scared me.

I narrowed my eyes at him and before I had a chance to rein it in, my tongue lashed out.

"Again, what are you doing _here_? You thought I hadn't been surprised enough lately? You thought it was time I had someone lurking in my bedroom, maybe that would add some excitement to my dull life? Maybe you thought it's been too quiet here lately?" My voice had been steadily rising and was now approaching screaming level. I was gripping the door knob until my knuckles stood out white.

I knew the reason for Ranger's presence was probably neither of those things, but I couldn't help it. My anger isn't known to always be reasonable. I couldn't deal with his leaving and showing up whenever he felt like it, scaring the shit out of me both ways.

I was angry at him for leaving me, and I was angry at him for just sneaking in and I was angry at him for just sitting there, all emotionless and watching.

But most of all, I was angry at myself because I still let him have so much power over me and for what I felt when I saw him.

Ranger didn't respond and I knew why. He thought this was a tantrum that would blow over, knowing fully well that it drove me up a wall when he waited silently for me to 'come down', as he called it.

If I continued, he'd eventually ask me if I was finished or something equally infuriating. Just thinking about that made me angrier.

Of course he thought he was acting out of experience. Once, either right before or during a fight, I'd called it my Italian temper and then he'd said that Italians had nothing on Cubans; did I see him kicking and screaming? Adult persons cannot have adult conversations above a certain decibel, he'd said, to which I'd shown him the finger and said something mature like 'adult this!' on my way out.

I think we had that argument a couple times, then he'd just kept quiet and waited. We never had serious fights anyway, I'm sure he called our arguments 'differences of opinion' or something.

But it drove me insane the way he wouldn't argue, the way he didn't respond, the way he didn't bang his fist against a wall to vent, the way he wasn't like anyone I knew, of either Italian or Cuban descent. He _always_ kept his cool and that made me lose mine faster.

Well, this was different. He was not going to be the cool one while I lost it.

I had a lot to say, but I knew I'd start crying if I let it all out, and then I'd be mad at myself and wouldn't find the right words. And then he'd think that I was just upset, when really I was livid.

I was about to say 'fuck you' or something as eloquent, but in the end, I threw up my hands and grunted, then I turned around and slammed the door shut behind me. It felt good to throw _something._

I marched back into the kitchen with my hands balled into fists and grabbed a beer to cool off. I still wanted to yell, but I wanted to be in control of what I said. And for that, I needed my hands to stop shaking.

Rex stopped running on his wheel and twitched his whiskers in my direction and Bob raised his head from his dog bed. "Some watch dogs you two are," I fumed. I hoped they knew I wasn't really angry at them, but I had no patience to explain it.

I heard the bedroom door open when I took my beer back to the living room and plopped down on the couch, finally taking my shoes off so I could fold my legs under me.

I had a few seconds to 'pull myself together', as my mom would have called it, to take a couple calming breaths and get my heart rate down.

Then he was in the doorway, leaning against the jamb.

I ignored him as best as I could and took a long pull from my beer, determined to let him speak first this time, and also trying to count to ten slowly to keep a lid on the explosion for now.

There was a lot I wanted to ask him, starting with how the hell he'd gotten into my apartment without Tank noticing, but it would have to wait.

Along with biting my tongue, I also had to keep that part of me that just wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him under control. That annoying part that just wanted to kiss and make up and have the hottest make-up sex known to man.

First of all, I didn't know how he'd react to that, and my ego really wouldn't be able to deal with rejection.

A while ago, before we were actually together, Ranger had turned me down and it had hurt like hell. I didn't want to repeat that experience. It had been the right thing to do, the _noble_ thing as they say, but that hadn't made the moment any less humiliating for me.

Second of all, that would make it too easy for him, show him my cards so to speak, and I wanted to keep my momentum. I'd walked away from him, he hated that. I hope he knew this was serious.

I knew my silence and faked indifference didn't fool him for a second. Ranger read people very well and he'd known me for far too long, I couldn't slip any emotion by him.

Also my blank face wasn't nearly as blank as his; I just wasn't good at hiding feelings. But right now, that was okay because all my face was probably showing was that I was pissed as all hell.

I was still staring straight ahead or down at the bottle in my hand, ignoring him, but out of the corner of my eye I could see he hadn't moved after crossing his arms over his chest again.

Bob had rushed in to greet him and Ranger had acknowledged him, but nothing since. Now Bob was sitting in front of the couch to my left making whimpering noises, clearly confused, not liking the vibes he got.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep quiet, and that only fueled my anger because I knew Ranger knew I was waiting for him to speak first.

When he finally did, I flinched before I could stop myself, it was just too sudden and, after several minutes, totally unexpected.

"The important question is, what are _you_ doing here?" His voice was calm and emotionless. And despite my resolution to ignore him, I looked up just as he was pushing himself off the doorjamb and walked over. He sat down in front of me on the coffee table and I pulled my knees closer so they wouldn't touch his legs.

I know he noticed because his eyes flicked to my legs before he looked directly into my eyes. The way he was sitting, it was impossible to avoid his eyes without doing something childish like squeezing my eyes shut.

"I mean it, Stephanie, why are you here, unprotected in your apartment, and not at RangeMan?"

'Stephanie'. Hearing him address me by my full name hurt me more than his emotionless voice or his hard face. 'Miss Plum' couldn't have hurt more.

"Tank is…" I started, but the look in his eyes made me stop. There was fury there I hadn't seen before.

"Outside?" He almost mocked. A man who actually showed emotions would have sneered. Ranger was above that. "Is he keeping you safe from _outside_? He didn't see _me_, he could have overlooked anyone else just as easily."

While I had to acknowledge he was right to some extent, he was also very wrong. He'd probably used some elaborate maneuver to outsmart Tank and the majority of my stalkers or psychos, or whatever, were a lot dumber than that.

"You weren't in the bedroom when he checked," I pointed out. I was trying to keep the emotion out of my voice like Ranger was, but already I could feel tears of frustration sting my eyes.

"And I wasn't on the fire escape when you were outside either," Ranger said. "Christ, Steph, a five-year-old could have snuck in while you two weren't looking!"

Now there was anger in his voice as well. Or maybe I just wanted to hear _some_ emotion. Had he said 'you two' with a funny twist to his voice or was that my imagination?

Was he angry at me or at Tank? It didn't really matter because he had no right to be angry at either of us when he'd been the one to leave _me_ in the first place and then almost give me a heart attack.

"Was it too cold in Boston? You sure change your plans often, must be hell on your travel expenses." I didn't know how I was able to meet his stare and I didn't really know how I'd been able to ignore his accusations and change the subject on him_ and_ make it sound like I didn't care. I really didn't know I had that in me.

Look out world; don't fuck with me when I'm angry. Or something.

Ranger's eyes widened marginally, the equivalent of a dropped jaw in a regular person. I'd surprised him. Well, good, he'd pissed me off.

"Damn it, Steph," he started, leaning forward, but I held up my hand in the universal 'stop' gesture and he pulled back.

"No Ranger," I said, my voice losing some of its calm. "You don't get to break into my apartment and lecture me anymore. You only get to let me live the life that you chose not to be a part of." I had to swallow hard to fight the tears back now. I really didn't want to cry.

Ranger reached out but I pulled back, and that made him jerk his hand back as if it had been burned.

For a split-second, I thought I saw pain flicker in his eyes and I didn't know if I was glad I'd gotten through or sorry I'd hurt him. It didn't matter, all that mattered was that he was listening.

It irritated me that he could just show up and blow my newly acquired independence out of the water.

Actually it was more that he just had to show up unexpectedly to strip me of all my defenses and expose the heart-broken girl that just wanted to be with him. I didn't stop to consider that it had only been a couple days, I was angry at myself for not getting over him.

And I really didn't even want to get over him, I wanted him back, but I wanted for him to realize he wanted me back first because I did not want him in the falling-to-my-knees-and-begging-him fashion and now I was frustrated in addition to being angry.

I hugged my knees and pulled them towards me, burying my head in the space between my knees and my chest, so I no longer looked at Ranger. My heart physically ached and I was shaking from the effort to hold back the sobs that I knew were coming.

I was taking deep breaths to calm down while I was trying to come up with the best course of action. Or rather the best course of action I could stick with instead of flip-flopping between wanting to hit him and wanting to kiss him.

I heard the rustle of clothes and knew Ranger was getting up. Was he going to gather me up in his arms, begging for my forgiveness? Yeah, because that was _so_ Ranger. Not.

Then what? Was he leaving? Was this my last chance to ask him to stay, had I gone too far? Did I want him to stay? Shit, I was driving myself insane.

I held my breath until I heard the refrigerator door open in the kitchen and I realized I was relieved he hadn't left. He was just going for something to drink.

'OK, Stephanie', I thought. It was time to shit or get off the pot, so to speak. If I wanted Ranger, I had to show him. I didn't have to throw myself at him and tell him how much I loved him, but I had to stop bitching.

Wasn't that why I'd jumped at Lula's idea so readily? To show him what he was missing to make him wonder if he could bear missing it?

I hadn't had a chance to show Ranger the plan in action because he'd run away, but maybe this was a chance to set the stage for it. All I had to do was let my anger out, I didn't have to make up any feelings, they were all there.

I thought he getting a water or maybe a beer and then return to the living room. But he didn't come back. I waited five minutes, then ten, give or take, and he hadn't come back.

I sniffed and got up so fast, I almost jumped. No, this time, he didn't get to stay away until I had 'come down', I decided. Bob looked at me curiously from his place on the couch, but probably decided it was safer to stay behind. I straightened my shoulders and took a few deep breaths.

This time, Ranger was going to hear it all because I'd already crossed the point where I cared what I said. I just wanted to let it all out now, fuck planning my words. And it was just him and me, no one to interrupt us or hold me back.

"Just out of curiosity," I said as soon as I stepped into the kitchen where Ranger was leaning against the counter, holding a bottle of water and watching Rex run on his wheel. "What was it you came to tell me? What were you doing here in the first place? And why did you hide?" I no longer tried to keep my voice neutral, I was pissed and I didn't want there to be any doubt in his mind as to how angry I was. But I didn't raise my voice; it had come out even and under control. And I had my fists on my hips for good measure.

Ranger looked at me and I met his eyes, they weren't giving away his thoughts while I was sure he could read all of mine. As angry as I was, as confused as I was, at that moment, my only thought was how handsome he was and how I longed to touch him. Damned hormones.

I leaned against the counter so I was directly in front of him, separated only by a few feet. I crossed my arms over my chest and willed myself to wait for his answer.

"I asked Tank to make arrangements for you to stay at RangeMan," he said, his voice calm and even. He took a sip of his water and looked at me, expecting me to answer. I shrugged. As far as I was concerned, he hadn't answered my question, why should I answer his? Nana, nana…

Ranger put the water bottle on the counter and closed the distance between us in two strides. He stood close to me, very close, but he didn't touch me. He waited for me to lift my eyes and meet his gaze and I was unable to look away.

"Babe," he said so softly it was almost a whisper and touched the back of my hand with his fingertips.  
His touch sent sparks of electricity through my skin that traveled up my arm and tingled in my chest and I gripped my arm tighter. My mouth was suddenly dry and the temperature seemed to have risen about 20 degrees.

I swallowed and shook my head once to clear it, I was still unable to look away, his eyes were mesmerizing.

I felt my intention to vent my anger melt away, Ranger was standing so close I felt like I was in his 'force field', I could _feel_ his energy. Even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't have backed away; I was trapped between Ranger and the counter.

"You came back early," I said, as if that was of any consequence. I just couldn't bare the silence between us and I didn't allow myself to throw my arms around him to kiss and make up. And he didn't want to make up, he wanted us broken up, I reminded myself.

I wondered if he was trying to intimidate me, but for what purpose? Okay, so now I was confused again as well as angry as well as…hurt.

"I came back because I needed to know you were safe," he said. _What _he said sounded like he cared for me but _how_ he said it didn't give any feelings away. His voice was neutral, he might have commented on the weather.

"I'm safe _here_," I said, biting back a snippy 'what do you care?', knowing he'd sort of proven me wrong just by showing up. "I'm armed," I added for good measure.

Ranger's raised an eyebrow and let his gaze travel down my body and felt a heat that had nothing to do with the room temperature.

"I was just about to get my gun and my cell phone out of my bag when I saw you." Well, okay, so I was going to get my cell phone to call Lula, but it was a small fib. I used the time Ranger's eyes weren't boring into mine to lower my eyes, I was now staring straight at his chest.

He took a step back. He was still close enough so I could have easily reached out and touched him, but I couldn't feel his body heat anymore.

"I saw you come home," he said and jerked his head in the direction of my bedroom. "So I went out to the fire escape and up a level. When I knew the inspection was over, I went back into your bedroom."

I'd thought he outsmarted Tank in some clever way, but what he had done sounded simple enough.

So I asked the simple question. "Why?"

Ranger lifted his eyebrows. "_Why_?" He repeated, sounding incredulous.

"Yes, why? Why didn't you come out of the bedroom when we came in to make your point? You knew you were gonna scare the shit out of me if you kept quiet, is that it? Did you enjoy that?"

Ranger's eyes narrowed. "I knew it was a long shot when I asked Tank to offer you RangeMan protection. I showed up to prove to you…"

I held up my hand to stop him and pushed forward a little to get away. I couldn't hear the speech again. "Save it."

I got as far as Ranger's shoulder, then he took a step to the side and put his hands on either side of me on the counter. Now I was really trapped.

And when I'm trapped while I'm angry, hurt, frustrated or, as in this case, all of the above, I can't be held responsible for what I do or say. Really, I look back later and usually shake my head in disbelief. And this was no exception.

I pushed Ranger as hard as I could, planting the palms of my hands on his broad chest. Probably he hadn't expected that, because he actually fell back a step so his hands came off the counter and I tried to squeeze past him.

But he recovered fast and held me by the elbow. "No, Steph, no running away. We're doing this _now_." He didn't sound angry or hurt, and the lack of emotion in his voice was irritating.

"What do _you_ care, Ranger?" I asked when I turned around, able to keep my voice down for the time being. I glared at his hand on my elbow although his grip wasn't strong and he released me. "You gave up the right to tell me what to do when you broke up with me." I was amazed at the icy quality of my voice as I repeated what I'd told Tank earlier. I knew I was trying to hurt him, and I was unable to stop myself.

"I never tried to tell you what to do," Ranger said, his voice still even, but no longer neutral. It sounded…wounded almost. I looked up and this time, I was sure I saw pain in his eyes.

"So you tell Tank to tell me what to do," I said, my voice lowering the room temperature. "Same difference. Either you care or you don't, Ranger, you don't get to care when it's convenient for you!"

I knew my face was probably beet-red from the anger and the effort to keep my voice down, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that I hadn't lost it. No yelling, no tears.

I started to turn and leave but I thought better of it. He was right, we had to finish this. Now.

I met his eyes and was startled for a moment because the blank face was gone. He was frowning and I couldn't name the emotions that I saw, but they were definitely there.

"I don't choose. I always care, I never stopped and you know that," he said, raising his hand, but stopping short of touching me. He just let it drop to his side. "You know I love you."

That wasn't fair, and he knew it. He had to. How long had I waited for him to say those three little words without a disclaimer? And now they brought tears to my eyes again. I swallowed hard to bite them back.

"This was never about caring," he said softly, and now he took my hand. "It's because I love you that I have to stay away," he said and took a deep breath. "I can't be with you because I could be hurting you just like them," he waved in the general direction of the parking lot. "But the bottom line is your safety is my priority."

I blinked away the stupid tears and when I met his eyes, I could tell he was struggling to put his blank face on again and that his breathing was uneven.

"You are my priority," he said, stepping closer again and cupping my face in his hand. "I love you."

"Then stay," I whispered, my anger fading, but the need to hold him growing.

"That's the only thing I can't do," Ranger said, brushing his lips over mine, "But I won't leave Trenton again. I tried the physical distance and I ended up wondering if you were in trouble all the time."

I finally took that deep breath and found my inner bitch that was appalled at how easily I'd given up and almost begged him. All he had had to do was say 'I love you'. But I was determined not to let him take that route out. Not this time.

"No," I said and took a step back so I wouldn't be tempted to hold on to him. "You are wrong. I'm not your priority, _you_ are."

Ranger raised his eyebrows. "Babe, I…"

I raised my hand and slapped him as hard as I could. It was an instinct, I was trying to show him what my words couldn't make him understand. I could practically hear my mom screaming 'Stephanie!' in outrage and I didn't care.

Ranger's head jerked to the side and he took a step back to keep his balance, but in an instant, his eyes found mine again.

"Did that hurt less because I love you?" I asked, sick of arguing, sick of talking even. It was time for action. I was proud of the fact that I still wasn't yelling. "You _are_ hurting me Ranger. You're hurting me more than any of them could ever do." I mimicked Ranger's earlier wave in the direction of the outside world. "Just because you can."

I took another step away from him to ready myself for the final blow. "You do what you think is best for you. Don't pretend to be the martyr here, you're taking the easy way out and you know it!" I spat that last bit as my voice was beginning to break and pointed stiff armed at the door.

"Get out of my house!"

As long as I'd known Ranger, I'd never thrown him out of my apartment. It broke my heart to do it now. My finger was still pointing, but now it started to shake as well. And Ranger never broke the eye contact.

On the left side of his face, my handprint stood out in an angry red and I mentally cringed when I saw what I'd done. I knew it hurt. I knew because the hand that had slapped him burned like a motherfucker.

But now Ranger had pushed back all emotions and was wearing his blank face again, his eyes fixed on me coolly.

He didn't say another word. He just slowly turned and walked out. I didn't know if he took the door to avoid Tank or the fire escape, and who cared. All I knew was that he was gone. And I had made him gone. For good.

Now that he was gone, I finally let go. I crumbled to the floor and sobbed. I was crying because I hadn't told him I loved him and because I hadn't told him that I hadn't meant to be mean, that it was frustration and not anger. And I cried because I was sure I had fucked it up but good, all the king's horses and all the king's men wouldn't put Ranger and Stephanie back together again. But most of all, I cried because I couldn't stop.

Five minutes or five hours later, I don't know which, I heard heavy footsteps and looked up because I thought Ranger had come back. I was still on the floor, hugging myself and rocking back and forth, but my tears had thankfully dried up.

Black combat boots came into my field of vision and relief washed over me until I heard Tank's voice.

"Christ, Steph, are you okay?" He crouched down but instead of pulling me to my feet, he just lifted my torso to hug me and held me.

I felt I had to explain because I didn't want Tank to think I'd had a heart attack on the kitchen floor. "R…Ra...Ranger was here," I hiccupped.

Now Tank sat down with his back to the rest of the apartment and pulled me into his lap. "I know," he said. "Saw him on his way out and got my ass chewed."

He pulled a crisp white handkerchief out of his pocket. In a million years, I wouldn't have thought Tank carried linen handkerchiefs, or any for that matter, and in any other situation I would have laughed out loud, but now I just took it gratefully and blew my nose.

I took a few deep breaths to make sure I wouldn't start crying again and that's when I realized I was sitting in Tank's lap and his right arm was supporting my back. I figured he had just acted instinctively; he was so much more caring and loving than I'd ever given him credit for. A week ago, it would have felt pretty awkward to be so close to Tank, but now it seemed natural.

"Thank you," I said and managed a watery smile. "I must look pretty pathetic, huh? Now you come even when I don't need rescuing…"

He smiled and lowered his head so that his face was only a couple inches from mine. "I changed my mind," he said and touched his index finger to the tip of my nose. "Figured too many things could happen to you when I was all those miles away in the parking lot."

My own smile widened at the sight of Tank's, it was so contagious. "I guess Ranger outsmarted us, huh?"

Tank shrugged, or did his version of shrugging rather, his left shoulder lifted an eighth of an inch. I put my hand on the back of his neck to steady myself.

"I mean it though. Thank you," I said, hoping he'd understand I was thanking him for being there for me as well as for everything he was doing for me. His smile told me he did. I found it impossible not to feel safe so close to Tank, it felt like I had a bear to protect me. Next to him, I must have looked like a child in her daddy's lap, he had to lower his head to be face to face with me.

"You're welcome."

I was amazed to find over the last few days, Tank had become one of my best friends, rather than Lula's boyfriend or Ranger's second-in-command or my colleague. For a long moment, I just looked at Tank and was grateful.

There was some noise coming from the living room and I thought Bob would join us any second now until I heard a sharp intake of breath and Tank's head snapped around.

When he dropped his hand from my back I knew who he was looking at before I craned my neck to see over his shoulder.

Ranger was standing in the kitchen archway, and this time, his face was not just blank, it was made of stone. One of his jaw muscles tensed, it was the only movement on his face. He never blinked.

Desperate to say something, _anything_, as long as it was not 'this is not what it looks like', I put my hands on Tank's shoulders to push myself up and realized way too late what an intimate gesture it must have looked like. Later, when I tried to imagine Ranger's point of view, I also realized that he might have thought he'd walked in on us kissing, the way Tank sat on the floor and his head was bent.

"Ranger, I…" I didn't even know what I wanted to say, but I never got the chance since Ranger turned and walked away without even looking at me. I flinched when the front door slammed shut a few seconds later.

"Fuck."

TBC

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A/N: So now Steph got what she wanted, right? The question is, will it have the desired effect or backfire on her? What do YOU think? 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Just language, no spoilers

Thank you very much for your wonderful reviews, you guys are awesome!

A special Thank You to **Stayce** without whom this fic wouldn't be possible, and to **Becky** for brainstorming with me.

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**K**eep the Fait**h**

Chapter 11

I sank back, now really deflated and numb, I couldn't even cry. As much as I wanted to pinch myself to find out if it had been a dream, I knew that would have been useless. This had really happened.

"Fuck," I agreed. I could vividly imagine what Ranger thought he'd seen and got a flashback of my ex-husband Dickie boinking the skank Joyce Barnhart on my dining room table.

Granted, what I'd seen wasn't open to interpretation, Joyce had been 'woman superior' straddling Dickie, but I still thought I knew what Ranger had been thinking, or at least how much I'd hurt him.

I didn't know why he'd come back but after seeing the look on his face, I knew he would never come back again.

After a moment of silence, Tank cleared his throat. "Well, look on the bright side," he said, standing up and pulling me with him. "He saw what we wanted him to see, right?"

I grimaced but when I looked up at him I saw that he was trying to cheer me up. "You mean like some day we'll look back at this and laugh?" I asked sarcastically.

This made him smile. "Something like that, yeah. In the meantime, I think I better avoid Ranger in empty hallways and dark alleys."

I had a feeling he was only half joking, but I didn't think Ranger would do anything to Tank. After all, it wasn't his style to be angry, that would mean he'd have to express feelings. Ranger didn't do jealousy.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," I said and tried not to think about the next time I walked into the RangeMan office. I really had no idea how Ranger would react and how I'd react to Ranger's reaction.

It was late now, past midnight, but I wasn't the least bit tired anymore. I didn't even want to close my eyes because then I kept seeing the look on Ranger's face when I'd peeked over Tank's shoulder.

"I think I fucked up," I said and Tank's smile faded.

"You shouldn't talk like that," he said, taking me by my shoulders. "You shouldn't even think like that. What makes you assume the blame here? Whatever happened, it left _you_ crying on the floor, not him." He gestured at the floor where he'd found me. "As far as I'm concerned, Ranger fucked up, not you."

I'm not a touchy-feely person per se, but I spontaneously hugged him. I had to. Coming from Tank, it was so comforting to hear that I wasn't to blame.

Here was Ranger's partner and friend, taking my side. Tank hugged me back quickly and then released me.

"You know that, right?" He leaned down to be eye to eye with me and I grimaced.

"You can do better than that,_ tell_ me you know it," he demanded and I had no trouble picturing him as a drill sergeant in the Army torturing recruits.

"I know it," I said and straightened my shoulders. Tank smiled approvingly and clapped my back, making me stumble forward.

"Good. Now," he said, stretching. "I don't know about you, but I'm beat. Let's try to get some sleep."

He walked off into the living room and I went to the hall closet to get a pillow and sheets before I followed him, wondering if his change of subject meant he was uncomfortable talking about it or really considered the topic closed.

When I change topics abruptly like that, it usually means I'm uncomfortable talking about it. But I couldn't picture Tank felling uncomfortable talking about anything.

I was lost in thought and almost ran into him when I entered the living room. He took the pillow and blanket from me. "The couch isn't gonna work," he said, turning to face the couch again. With him in it, the living room seemed small.

"Why do they even make couches that aren't even six feet long? Six feet is average height, right?"

He brushed past me. I'd never thought of my couch as too short, but now that I thought about it, the only people that had slept on it had been way shorter than what Tank considered average height.

"You can't sleep in my bed," I said carefully. I didn't want to offend him when he just wanted to protect me, but there was no way he could sleep with me. What if we got entangled while asleep and somebody found us like that? I hadn't come up with anything to tell Ranger about the 'situation' he'd interrupted, if he found me in bed with Tank…I didn't want to think about that.

"Don't worry," Tank said, shaking out the blanket. Before I could ask him what he meant I heard my cell phone ring from the bedroom.

'Right,' I remembered. 'I was going to go to bed and call Lula.' When was this, a week ago, a year? No way it had only been a few hours. She was probably calling me now to complain that I was hogging her man and not even calling her or something.

"Hold that thought," I told Tank and rushed to catch the call before it went to voicemail.

One of these days, I will have learned to always check caller ID before I pick up my phone, but that night I was too stressed to even think of it as I hit the connect button, convinced it was Lula.

"Stephanie," the caller said. "Sorry to call you so late, I tried several times before."

Harry the Hammer himself. Shit. I couldn't really tell him how far from my mind he was right now, I was sure he wanted an update. I sat down on my bed, my thoughts racing, trying to come up wit a response.

"I was busy," I replied lamely. Well, technically, I _had_ been busy…busy could mean all sorts of things after all.

"I understand," Harry said and he sounded sincere. "I was just wondering when you think you might get around to fulfilling your end of the bargain?"

I wondered where and when he'd learned to talk like that. He sounded like a Rutgers English professor, not like a cousin of the Sopranos. I vowed to ask Connie about that the next chance I got.

"I'm sorry," I said, and I meant it. I was sorry I made that stupid promise in the first place and I was sorry I was now in his debt. I was planning on making good on my promise, but at that moment I felt like telling Harry he was on the lower end of my priority list. Probably wouldn't be a good move, I decided, and cleared my throat instead.

"It's been a hectic couple days, I haven't had a chance to…"

"I understand," Harry said again. "Things come up, it can't be helped. That's why I'm only asking for a timeframe. "

I chewed on my lip trying to come up with something to tell Harry that I would at least have the chance to stick to. I had been so relieved when I'd learned what he wanted me to do, but after that, I hadn't spent a minute thinking about the when and how.

"After this weekend for sure," I promised. "Things should calm down then." I had no idea what things I was talking about specifically and the weekend crap really just popped out. Don't all unpleasant plans start on a Monday? My diets always start on Monday, people quit smoking on that day, and it seemed like as good a day as any to work on my pay back for Joyce while fulfilling my promise to Harry.

"Do you need any help with your current issues?" Harry asked and I remembered how Ranger used to ask me that question, and the inclination had been the same: If I said 'yes', they'd 'take care' of my problems. Usually the problem had been people and a nod from me could make them disappear. Permanently. I had a feeling Harry's expertise in this area exceeded Ranger's.

If only I had any of those problems, I found myself wishing.

"No," I said a little too harshly so I was quick to add "They're…family issues, I'm sure I can handle them." I crossed my fingers both because I'd lied and because I hoped Harry would buy it. Probably he was thinking since he was extended family, he would know of any issues, but if he did, he didn't tell me. Then again, who knew how much Vinnie knew about even his closest relatives. I didn't know anybody in my family who's admit to spending time with him. And my mother never mentioned Lucille, Vinnie's wife.

"Next week will be fine," he said, as pleasant as ever. "Please call me if I can help in any way. Oh, and Stephanie, I'd appreciate a status report."

I promised him I'd call him every day, just to get him off the phone and had a funny feeling in my stomach when I disconnected. Sort of like buyer's remorse, when you realized just how much money you just spent but it was too late.

I had no idea how to get Joyce out of Vinnie's life and Harry wanted updates. Ungh!

"Everything okay?" Tank interrupted my thoughts when I came out of the bedroom and I plastered a smile on my face before I turned to face him.

"Work related," I said vaguely and waved my hand dismissively. It wasn't a lie and it wasn't too specific.

If he asked me what work I'd be in trouble though. The Merry Men knew I'd been dealing with Harry, but they were under the impression that Guzzarella had been the last of it and I was sure they didn't expect me to have any contact with Harry himself.

Now I noticed I was standing on the comforter he'd taken from me. It lay on the floor right outside my bedroom. "What's this?"

"Well, sweetheart, you're standing on my bed," Tank grinned. I'm sure I looked as confused as I was because Tank chuckled.

"You're sleeping _here_?" I gestured at the floor. The carpeted, but otherwise bare, floor somewhere in no-man's land between my living room and my bedroom.

Now that I looked at it I could tell Tank had folded the comforter in half and put it directly in front of my bedroom door.

"Yes, well, the couch is too short, your bed is too narrow, so the floor is the best option," he explained. I would have slept on a chair before even considering the floor, but I guess Tank had spent more than one night of his life on hard floors, and now it was starting to make sense. And I liked his excuse my bed was too narrow when we both knew he chose the floor because he valued his life.

"Yes, but why _here_?" I asked. "I'll step on you if I sleepwalk to get something to drink!"

Tank's waggled his eyebrows and finally I gave in and smiled back. "Let me guess," I cocked my head to the side. "This is where you're able to protect me best?"

"Actually," he said, putting the pillow on one end of the comforter, "it's also the only spot where I won't be hitting any furniture when I turn around but yeah, all the better to protect you with." He planted his hands on his hips and grinned at me.

I shook my head but didn't have anything to say. To tell the truth, I was glad to have him so close by, even if I didn't know what he was protecting me from. What mattered was that I didn't think much could get by him.

"Lemme just check your bedroom," he said and since I was still standing in the doorway, he took me by the shoulders and moved me to the side. He checked the fire escape and made sure he locked the window. He winked at me and disappeared into the bathroom.

"There's no exit there," I pointed out.

"No, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do and all…" came his muffled voice from behind the door. Mental head slap. Tank _was_ human after all!

When Tank was done in the bathroom I asked him again if he was sure he would sleep on the floor and this time he gave me the line of having slept under worse conditions and I rolled my eyes to tease him.

"Goodnight then," I smiled and closed the door. I had a feeling I would actually sleep better that night than I had since…okay, since I'd slept in Ranger's bed, I admitted to myself.

Then I straightened my shoulders and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. "I know it," I repeated Tank's earlier words. "Ranger fucked up, not me."

Now if I could only believe that, I'd be golden, I thought as I crawled under my covers.

I turned a couple times, convinced I would never be able to fall asleep. But then I was dreaming and in my dream, I _knew _I was dreaming, so obviously I was sleeping.

I woke up with tears pooling in my eyes, but I only remember that Joe was in my dream, alive but dead, in the way that only made sense in dreams, and I was left feeling totally empty.

I swallowed back the tears because I'd cried enough in the last few days to last me a lifetime, and crying would never solve anything. Instead, I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, listening into the night.

There were the muffled sounds of traffic that came in through the open window, and Bob's snoring that filtered in through my now-open bedroom door. At some point, Tank must have cracked it open, I figured.

I fell back asleep reviewing the whole day, and especially the evening, and I finally realized Tank had been right. Ranger had fucked up, not me.

When I woke up, daylight had just started to creep through my open curtains and I thought about just turning around and sleeping some more.

A knock on the door interrupted while I was still contemplating. "Hey Sleeping Beauty, did you have a good night?" Tank asked, filling out the entire doorframe.

I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It wasn't six yet. He was dressed and smiling. Two things I never manage together at that time.

"I'm off now, the dayshift just arrived," Tank informed me. I frowned. "You're leaving? Back to the lion's den?"

Tank laughed at that. "Yeah, I guess. I need to shower and shave and then get a couple hours sleep before I start work." He sat down on my bed and tousled my hair.

"And you're leaving me with a bodyguard?"

He nodded. "Bobby is downstairs. He'll be your chauffeur today, too, you'll be treated like the princess you are." He winked and leaned forward to kiss my cheek. "Try to stay safe," he said on his way out.

Bob galloped in just as I heard the front door click shut and I knew sleep was out of the question. I'd forgotten to ask Tank if he'd walked Bob, so I threw on some sweats and a t-shirt, shoved my feet into sneakers and put a ball cap on my unruly hair.

Downstairs, I gave Bobby a little finger wave and he got out of his SUV.

"I'm just going around the block," I told him. "I'll be right back."

He nodded and walked over to join me. "I know. And you'll probably be safe. But if you had the ass chewing we got from the boss this morning, you'd be walking with you too."

I raised my eyebrows, hoping Bobby would give me more details. He took Bob's leash out of my hand and started walking.

"What did Ranger say?" I asked when he didn't share any more information. He shrugged. "It's not _what _he says, it's _how_ he says it," he explained. I knew what he meant. A look from Ranger could intimidate Attila the Hun. Or melt me into a puddle of lust, but I didn't want to go there.

I was trying to decide if I wanted to know how Ranger had said it, if I cared. Well, okay, I knew I cared but did I want to find out he'd handled me like a case?

"It's just a precaution, Steph," Bobby continued. "Think of it as a friend watching your back."

I _did_ think of Bobby as a friend, but something told me he wasn't giving me the whole story.

Bob did his business and we turned to go back. I asked if Bobby wanted some coffee but he declined and said he had to stay in the parking lot, and that was fine by me. I wanted to be alone anyway.

When I had fed Bob and Rex, I started coffee brewing and took a shower. And while I let the water rain over my head I tried to plan my day.

I decided I would not go into RangeMan today. When in doubt, procrastinate the inevitable. I didn't want to see Ranger today, I'd had enough of him the day before.

That left skip-tracing, my parents' house, shopping or housework.

By the time I was toweling off I had decided on cleaning my apartment and then go to the bonds office to check on new skips and make sure the ones I had were still outstanding.

When I was dressed in my usual uniform of jeans and t-shirt, I poured myself some coffee and took stock of my place. I needed to scrub, dust and vacuum, do the dishes and clean _under_ and _behind_ the furniture, and that would be a great way to get some exercise and work out some aggression.

I started in the kitchen by doing the dishes, running the dishwasher, wiping off the counters and mopping the floor. Bob threw me a suspicious look when I picked up his food bowls but believed me when I promised him they'd be back and sauntered off into the living room for some peace and quiet.

Saving the living room for last, I went into my bedroom next, armed with a dust cloth and the vacuum cleaner.

I was about halfway done when I got down on my knees to tackle the mess under my bed. My mom would have a heart attack if she ever looked under there.

I couldn't even remember the last time I'd cleaned under there until I pulled out a forlorn sneaker and moved to toss it aside. There was a jingling sound in there that made me take another look.

I picked it up and when I saw what it was, my heart constricted until I thought it was going to implode and I sank back against the wall.

About a year ago, Morelli had spent the night at my place and was called to a crime scene early in the morning. I remembered being totally spent from our lovemaking before, so I was barely awake until Morelli came back into the bedroom, his hair wet from the shower, and started rummaging.

He'd lost his keys. The keys I was now holding in my hand, fighting back the tears.

He had given up that morning and had used my keys to have a new set made, and later we had forgotten all about it.

There were his house keys and his car keys, and the key to the Duc. Along with the keys there was the hula girl key chain I'd given him as a joke present. He'd said he'd treasure it forever because the girl was almost naked and then he'd winked at me. My throat constricted at the thought of his smile and his wink.

I was clutching the keys as if they might get me in touch with Morelli somehow, all thoughts about cleaning forgotten, and wondered again if there would ever come a day when I could think about him without the sadness and the sense of loss that had overcome me now.

Afraid I was going to find more mementos, I quit cleaning and plopped down on my bed in my thinking position instead.

After Morelli's killer had been caught, I'd had several long sessions with the department's shrink, Stayce. She specialized in grief counseling and I thought she was doing a pretty good job considering I often refused to work with her. She'd told me it would be a long process, not to rush it and bla bla. In the end, I'd known why I felt the way I felt but that hadn't made his death any easier on me.

I took a deep breath and put the keys into my nightstand's drawer, making a mental note to go to Morelli's grave later. I felt like it had been too long since I'd been there, I usually went about once a week.

My cell phone chirped on the nightstand, it was my mom. "I'll call you back," I mumbled to myself and let it go to voicemail. As if they had synched it, RangeMan called next. Because of the switchboard, it was impossible to tell if the control room was calling or Ranger, so I let that call go to voicemail as well.

Not quite five minutes later, just as I was trying to find the energy to get up, someone banged on the front door.

I knew who it was, too, and I should have known better than not to answer the phone. "Hi Bobby," I said when I opened the door.

"Just checking in," he said and I could tell how relieved he was. I stepped back to let him enter.

"They called you because I didn't pick up, didn't they?" He nodded. "Do they every think I'm in the shower or something?" My voice sounded a little bitchy at this point.

It wasn't fair to be irritated about being protected and it wasn't fair to be irritated with Bobby who was only doing his job. I sighed and threw my hands up as I turned and walked into the kitchen.

"There's more though," Bobby said, ignoring my little outburst and following me. "I have news from our friends at the DA's office."

I refilled my cup and got one for him. "Well?" I asked when I handed Bobby his coffee.

"Both Guzzarella and DalBo are out on bail," Bobby said and blew on his coffee, avoiding my eyes. So that's what he'd been holding back earlier? It wasn't like it was his fault or anything.

I had hoped it wouldn't happen but had known better. Of course Guzzarella would be 'connected'.

'Piece of shit legal system,' as Lula would sum it up. They'd probably had the best lawyers money could buy, too.

"DalBo?" I asked, and then it clicked. "You mean Eric?"

"Tank said you knew him," Bobby said, nodding.

I shrugged. Tank and I hadn't really discussed it. "I don't 'know him', know him, I know his first name because he is Guzzarella's bodyguard and he was with him every time I saw Guzzarella," I explained.

Bobby continued, "We're upping the team to two at a time," he said, his eyes firmly on his coffee. I could tell he was trying to prepare himself for an argument from me.

I took a deep breath. "Can you just tell me the whole story, Bobby? There's more, isn't there?"

Now Bobby looked pained and put his coffee down and looked at me. "I know this sounds weird, but I'm not supposed to tell you this."

I tried to keep calm and opened my mouth to tell him what I thought of that order because I knew it had come from Ranger, but he held up his hand to stop me. "So all I'm asking is that you didn't hear it from me, okay?"

"Okay," I said automatically and wondered if I really wanted to know. Of course now I _had_ to know.

I was angry at Ranger for issuing the order, but I was hurt, too. We had agreed months ago that we would tell each other stuff like this and he had promised not to make decisions about my safety without discussing it for me. It had taken me a while to convince Ranger that just because he makes decisions that benefit me he doesn't have to at least tell me about them. So much for his promise.

Bobby took a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest. He was leaning against the counter a lot like Ranger had the day before. "DalBo is working mainly with Guzzarella, but he's not a bodyguard."

I fidgeted with my cup as I waited impatiently for him to continue, biting my tongue so I wouldn't tell him to 'spit it out already'.

Bobby looked at the ceiling, obviously trying to find the right words. "Tank had us run the checks on both him and Guzzarella and they're now on 24 hour surveillance. If they even attempt to come near you, we'll stop them."

I hadn't expected that. It made sense, probably I should still take Guzzarella seriously, but a lot of my fear was gone after I had found the guts to take him out. I'd gone with denial and had decided he was out of my life now. Tank was right, I had odd priorities sometimes.

"Do you think Guzzarella spray-painted my car?" I asked incredulously, grinning and almost laughing out loud at the mental image of the suit-clad Mafioso with a spray can.

"It's possible," Bobby simply said. I waved him off. The destroyed car hadn't so much scared me as annoyed me.

"It could have been a first warning," Bobby shrugged. "But what's more important is that we think DalBo could be behind it."

"Yes," I agreed, "Doing Guzzarella's dirty work."

Bobby blew out some air. "It's not that simple, Steph. DalBo is a guest of the Garibaldi family. He's a…" he circled his hand in the air trying to get the right word, "Apprentice, I guess fits."

"So he's a mobster in training?" I asked. I still didn't see how that made him dangerous. I'd never thought about it much, but they had to start out at some point, didn't they? Eric had looked like he'd been 'around the block', in his thirties I'd guessed, but hey, what did I know.

Bobby shook his head. "Maybe apprentice wasn't a good word. DalBo is German, he's here to learn the business. Apparently his father and Hammer go way back…"

He waved behind him to indicate a long stretch of time, then he looked at me but didn't say anymore and his words sank in.

"So Eric is not so much a bodyguard as an equal?" I guessed.

Bobby sighed impatiently and pushed himself off the counter to face me. "Maybe I'm not explaining it right. To make it as simple as possible: You pissed off a German mob boss by having his son arrested."

My eyebrows shot up. "I what? How would Eric's father know…oh, I guess it wasn't hard to find out, huh?" I felt my stomach clench. I didn't know about the German mafia, but I had a feeling they had similar ways of getting even as the Family here.

Bobby smiled in the 'now she's got it' way and nodded. "Hence the surveillance and your bodyguards." He winked at the last word but didn't seem to relax. Probably he was bracing himself for the argument that usually followed when the Merry Men were assigned to watch over me.

I nodded. Had Ranger really thought I would turn down protection? True, I had in the past argued the point, but I'd never been in danger of Mafia revenge either. Did he think I liked living on the edge, not knowing who was lurking in my apartment when I got home? Maybe he hadn't cared enough to fill me in?

I knew how RangeMan surveillance worked, I'd done it a few times since I started working there. They would find out what Guzzarella and DalBo were up to by talking to everybody they saw the two talking with. If I was lucky, my name would never be mentioned and I could relax.

But when had I ever been lucky?

"Okay," I finally said and Bobby looked surprised. "What?" I asked.

He shook his head slightly and smiled. "You never fail to surprise me. I'm sure the guys have a bet going how beat up I'm gonna get and all you say is 'okay'."

I just grimaced and rinsed my cup. The cops at TPD had always had a pot, betting on when my car would blow up or when I'd deliver an FTA covered in garbage…and at least ten of them had always called Morelli when they heard any of those things had happened to me.

Apparently today was Memory Lane day, and none of the memories were happy. I sighed and brushed past Bobby to retrieve my shoulder bag from the bedroom.

I had to change the topic and get out of the house. My apartment was too depressing at the moment. There were Morelli's keys in the bedroom and the vivid memory of the fight with Ranger in the kitchen.

"Are you still my driver?" I asked Bobby, hoping he'd say no, they'd follow me, but he nodded. "Yup, and we're getting an escort," he grinned. I rolled my eyes and clicked on Bob's leash.

Sure enough, when we got to Bobby's black Explorer, Junior pulled up behind him. I sent him a finger wave and climbed into the passenger seat.

"This is gonna be fun," I predicted. Bobby started the car and looked over at me.

"Why, what are we doing?" He grinned. "Where to, Milady?"

I playfully slapped his shoulder. "The bonds office. We're chasing skips." And with Bobby and Junior in tow I actually had a good chance of catching them, too.

Bobby grinned and maneuvered the SUV out of my parking lot.

This wasn't so bad, I thought. I'd still get to be around the Merry Men and wouldn't risk running into Ranger. And as an added bonus, I'd make some money.

Mostly, I needed time to think. Should I come up with what to tell Ranger, telling him the truth? Or should I keep quiet and let him assume this little game Tank and I were playing wasn't just a game? I had a feeling my decision could either save our relationship or break it forever. No pressure though.

So first, I needed some time and distance. If I tried real hard, I would be able to pretend Bobby and I were a team, out collecting FTA's.

I might even manage to convince myself I wasn't scared of Guzzarella or any of his colleagues, (who'd ever heard of the German mob anyway?), because denial was always easier for me than fear.

And if that didn't work, I could still be angry at Ranger for once again just issuing orders instead of checking with me. Okay, I would have agreed if he had asked me, but that wasn't the point.

And maybe, just maybe, time would heal some superficial wounds here.

TBC

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A/N: OK, I saw some of your comments…what do you think should happen between Tank and Steph and should they stick to the game plan or 'improvise'?? Please let me know what you think, your reviews are the inspiration I need to write. 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Just language, no spoilers

Thank you very much for your wonderful reviews, I appreciate each and every one of them, just in case I didn't thank you in person!

1000 Dank to **Stayce** for helping me no matter how late it is, how stressed she is or how much I whine.

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 12

As soon as we turned onto Hamilton, Bobby picked up his Nextel and announced where we were going. Probably they always did this, I was just used to having them follow me and not sitting next to them. But I couldn't help wondering if this were special instructions from Ranger so that the control room, and he by proxy, would always know where I was.

"10-4," came the response and that was all the conversation until we got to Vinnie's bonds office, so I didn't know if Bobby had been talking to the Merry Man behind us or headquarters.

I stiffened when we parked at the curb directly behind a black Porsche Carrera. Granted, it could have been anybody's car, it wasn't _that_ rare, but what were the odds of a car like Ranger's parking in front of Vinnie's office.

Just the thought of running into Ranger, right now, right here, made my heart speed up. What would I say? What would he say? What if he didn't say anything and just gave me the blank face? With everybody there?

I could only come up with one thing to do, and I knew that would mean taking the coward's way out, but there was no way I was going to face Ranger with Connie, Vinnie and probably Lula there. Lula could already have spoken to Tank, and even if she hadn't she would see right through me as always. I didn't want her to go all rhino on Ranger, as funny as that might have been, I was just not ready for that.

Okay, forget everybody, I told myself. _I_ couldn't handle seeing him.

I rummaged through my shoulder bag. "You know what, I changed my mind. Let's visit some of the FTA's first," I suggested when I found the files Connie had given me and pulled them out.

Bobby didn't comment but I could feel his eyes on me, probably waiting for some kind of explanation, so I made a show out of opening the first file and studying it to avoid looking at him.

I didn't know how much of the previous night Bobby knew and I didn't want to give him any additional information. I didn't really see Ranger sharing his feelings with the Merry Men, or Tank for that matter, but I didn't know how much the rumor mill had already produced.

Bobby took the Nextel out of its holder on the dashboard and gave the update. Junior responded from the SUV behind us and I was relieved to learn not everybody at RangeMan had just been informed about the change of plans.

I met Bobby's eyes when he disconnected and sent him a smile, I was sort of grateful he hadn't said anything or asked questions I couldn't answer. He returned my smile and there was no pity or understanding in them and I decided he probably just thought I was Stephanie being Stephanie.

I opened the first file. "122 Spring Street," I told Bobby. "That's off…"

Bobby interrupted, "Bergen, off Hamilton?" He cut his eyes to me and grinned when I nodded. "Who's the lucky winner?" He started the car and peeled away from the curb. I glanced over my shoulder, Junior was following us, not making any effort to hide his presence.

"Charles Spoffort," I read off the file, grateful for the distraction while we put distance between me and the Porsche. "Just a shoplifter who was probably too busy to remember his court date."

I turned to the picture on the file and groaned. "He's a geezer," I told Bobby.

"So?" Bobby asked, making the left turn onto Bergen.

There was no way to look good when arresting a senior and Charles looked like he was in the triple digits. Either they came willingly and neighbors couldn't wait to call my mom to tell them about it or I had to chase them down and they might get hurt through no fault of my own and I'd still look like the bad guy.

"Oh never mind," I said. Like it mattered. I could do a good job whoever I had to apprehend, and I could embarrass the hell out of me whoever I had to apprehend, the FTA's age didn't make a difference. I think Ranger once told me it was all about my attitude towards it or something.

What the hell. I needed to think about something besides Ranger and the Mafia and Charles would have to do for now. Maybe I'd get so exhausted chasing after him that I'd forget everything else, or he'd knock me unconscious and I'd sleep for a week. Hey, it could happen.

I gave Bobby a thumbs up and he grinned.

"Go away," a man shouted from inside after I'd knocked on the door marked 2B in the Riverview Apartments. Riverview was a middle-class complex consisting of red-bricked two story blocks that housed eight apartments on each floor. It didn't look like the kind of place habitual shoplifters lived, it was too pricey and well maintained. A world away from the run down complexes on Stark Street or Comstock.

Charles had attempted to steal a fishing rod at Wal-Mart, not even a crime worth mentioning, but he hadn't shown up for his court date, so here I was, trying to earn my $60 share of his bond.

I rolled my eyes at Bobby, thinking 'Here we go' and straightened my shoulders.

"Bond Enforcement," I yelled through the closed door. "Open up." I tried to give my voice the same tone Ranger's voice had when he said it, authoritative. Of course, Ranger was able to back up his voice with stature and attitude, but I was learning. Now I was pretty sure Ranger had said it was all about _my_ attitude towards it, the other side hardly mattered.

So I made an effort to think positive. I was pretty sure Bobby and I were blocking the only way out. The apartments had no fire escape, and I didn't think 87-year-old Charles was going to jump out the window.

So maybe I was a little too sure, I was new at this positive attitude thing. I was thinking old man, fragile, harmless. I was not thinking shotgun. Had Lula been with me, I might have been thinking weapons or freaky pets maybe, with Bobby, I felt safe.

So in the split second between hearing the unmistakable racket of a shotgun being loaded and the actual shot, I only had time to look at Bobby with wide eyes.

Bobby had nudged me to stand a little to the side and behind him while he was right in front of the door after I'd knocked. He now turned and reached for me to pull me away at the exact moment I got moving and I slammed into him and he lost his footing and landed on his ass.

He pulled me down with him so I landed right on top of him just as the door burst into splinters. I landed softly and was able to detangle myself from Bobby in time to watch Spofford disappear down the hallway.

"What the fuck?" Bobby summed up the experience. He got up and brushed splinters off of him.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, giving up on Spoffort when the door to the staircase slammed shut behind him.

"Yeah," Bobby said and looked me up and down. "You?"

I just gave him a dismissive wave of my hand and shook my head, looking at the destroyed front door. Why does stuff like that always happen to me? Ranger would have stepped aside and picked Spoffort up by his collar as he ran past. I had not only let him get away, but also made sure that Bobby was unable to help.

"Skip is good and gone," Bobby said. "I didn't see that one coming."

I shrugged. It could have been worse, at least no one got hurt. Look at me thinking the glass is half full, I thought sarcastically. But it did feel good to hear Bobby admit he would have made the same mistake without me.

"Do you think maybe Junior got him?"

Bobby shook his head. "He's on Steph duty," he said and punched my shoulder jokingly. "Unless someone comes at you, we don't take our eyes off you."

Doors up and down the hallway opened, everyone wanting to know what happened.

"I called the cops," an elderly lady said importantly, leaving her apartment to get a better look. She was still wearing rollers in her hair and pulled the belt on her robe tighter as she approached us. Oh goody. It seemed to be a floor full of seniors. One of them was bound to know Grandma Mazur.

With my luck, Carl Costanza and Big Dog would pick up the call and laugh at me the whole way over so the humiliation would be complete when Mom asked me about it at dinner.

"Do we have to stay and wait?" I asked Bobby. I figured technically we hadn't done anything, we just happened to be standing in the hallway when Spoffort shot the hell out of his front door.

I must have looked quite pitiful because Bobby smiled and draped his arm around my shoulders.

"Let's go downstairs. We just give our statements real quick and leave. Beats going to the cop shop later." He led me to the stairs as he spoke and opened the door for me.

"We have the authorization to apprehend, and we didn't do anything," he pointed out. "We're the good guys here." He smiled at me reassuringly and nudged me into the stairwell.

Still, property had been destroyed and I was present. That was usually enough to let the cops have a field day. Next, they'd be asking where my car was because they'd probably seen the report on the vandalism.

On the other hand, I trusted Bobby and Junior. If they were with me, the cops might not dare to tease me. Unless the cops were Eddie or Carl, nothing would stop _those_ two. I've tried everything.

I stopped dead when I stepped out onto the building's parking lot.

There was Spofford, leaned over the hood of Junior's SUV, his hands cuffed behind his back.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at Bobby, but he only shrugged and pushed me into motion. Just as we reached Spoffort and Junior, a blue and white pulled into the lot.

This is it, I thought. Wouldn't have helped to run away, I had a feeling Bobby would have grabbed me by my collar if I had tried.

An hour and a half later, I left the Trenton cop shop with my body receipt for Spoffort. As it turned out, Junior had meant to guard my body, he'd left his car after he heard the shot.

Spoffort had literally bumped into him and Junior had subdued him on a whim.

"Old farts don't run like that if they're innocent," was how he put it, grinning from ear to ear. For some reason, the Merry Men always did the right thing when they improvise.

The uniform had turned out to be Officer Gaspick, whom I knew by name but not personally. And I knew from Joe that he'd never made friends with any of the other cops, he was actually on more than a few shit lists, so he didn't grin at me knowingly or called dispatch to tell them whose aid he'd been called to.

I told him what had happened and he jotted it down, he never moved a face muscle. I thanked my lucky stars and answered all his questions, showed him my authorization to apprehend when prompted, and the whole thing took less than ten minutes. He was even grateful when Bobby told him we'd take Spoffort, no need for a police escort.

Thanks to my bodyguard, I'd made the capture. So this protection plan was actually working for me. I hadn't picked up anybody following us either, and I was sure Bobby or Junior would have mentioned something, so with any luck I'd be declared out of danger soon.

Bobby got off the phone when I opened the passenger door and I didn't bother asking him who he was talking to. Probably giving Ranger an update, although that could have been my paranoia guessing.

"To the office to get the check?" he asked me when he started the engine. Probably Ranger was no longer in Vinnie's office, it had been over two hours. But why chance it? My motto is if you get a chance to procrastinate, take it.

I waved the FTA files. "Nah, plenty left where that one came from. Let's go to the office last so Connie only has to pull out the checkbook once."

"Too late for that," Bobby said, leaving the municipal parking lot. "Boss brought in a big fish this morning, probably picked up the check first thing."

Ranger had brought in an FTA this morning? "How early this morning?"

Bobby shrugged and stopped for a light. "Don't know, I wasn't on the team. It was a pretty long stake-out, I think. I ran into Cal just as they came back, right before I left for your house. So maybe six-ish? Where are we going here?"

Clearly, the topic was done in his opinion. I opened the top file and gave him the address, then I sank back into my seat.

I hadn't expected Ranger to take a week off to get over our fight, but it was still sobering that he obviously had gone on a job right after he'd left my house. Back to business as usual.

Of course, I was doing the same thing, I realized. My bodyguards weren't assigned to me so Ranger could follow my every move, they were supposed to protect me.

On the other hand, if Ranger had been on a stake out…"So who decided I needed two bodyguards then?" I asked, confused.

Bobby sent me a sideway glance. "What do you mean?"

I sighed impatiently. "You said Ranger was out all night. Who called the meeting and ordered backup for me and the surveillance on the mafia guys?"

Bobby sent me another look and now I could see I was confusing him. "The boss did…during our first conference call when the intel was reported."

All of a sudden I felt cold. It was one thing to be treated as a case by Ranger, it was even worse to be one item on the agenda on the daily 6 AM call. It hurt more than I wanted to admit and I felt the urgent need for a dozen doughnuts.

I believe I muttered something like, "Ah, okay," to close the topic once and for all and picked up the FTA file to distract myself.

"Let's get something to eat then and discuss the next case."

I thought that sounded sane and reasonable, and a lot better than 'take me to the bakery so I can stuff myself with comfort food'.

Bobby dropped me off at my apartment building at a quarter of four after we'd made the bonds office our final stop to pick up the checks in exchange for the two body receipts.

We got Spoffort and Caroline Keller, the other two FTAs hadn't been home and needed more detective work.

Connie was the only one in the office and I couldn't stifle a relieved sigh when I learned that Vinnie was home and Lula was out shopping, so my timing was right for a change.

Tank got out of his parked SUV when Bobby stopped at the back door. He was one half of the second shift that would release Bobby and Junior.

I thanked Bobby and gave him a finger wave as I got out of the car, then I was lifted off the ground.

"What's that all about?" I asked when Tank sat me down after spinning me around and giving me a quick hug.

"Just happy you made it through the day unscathed even though I wasn't here," he quipped and held the door open for me.

Ohhh-kay, I thought and realized too late that I didn't know if Bobby had witnessed that little display.

Tank jogged back to his car to retrieve a take-out bag when I called the elevator. "I got dinner," he announced grinning when he stepped into the car.

"Not that I didn't enjoy it," I said when I pressed the button for the second floor and the elevator doors closed. "But since when do you twirl me around to say hi?"

Tank was still grinning. "Since I overheard Santos instructing Junior to report any and all exchanges between us," he said and winked at me. "He's going crazy being on desk duty and he has his suspicions. Ten bucks says my greeting will get back to him within the hour."

Tank was enjoying this game way too much. "We need to talk," I said, but I couldn't keep a straight face because Tank was still wearing that goofy grin.

We got to my apartment and I practically ran into the kitchen to check my answering machine. I didn't know if it was going to be worse not hearing from him or hearing his emotionless voice on the machine.

Of course Ranger would have probably called my cell phone to talk to me, but it was still disappointing that the only message was from my mom.

I got plates and divided the food between Tank, Bob and myself. It was easy to determine Tank's sandwich. He'd gotten what looked like turkey breast on bean sprouts with no condiments whatsoever, whereas Bob and I each had gotten meatball subs. I love my friends.

I got a beer for me and water for Tank, probably he didn't want to sully his temple anymore than necessary, and carried everything over to the dining table.

Tank finished his inspection of my apartment, taking a lot longer in the bedroom than usual, and sat down across from me. He gave me a thumbs up and took a bite out of his sandwich.

"Do you think this is working?" I asked him between bites.

"Define 'this'," he said and took a sip of his water.

I gestured towards the kitchen. "What Ranger saw…"

"What Ranger _thinks_ he saw," Tank corrected me. "I thought that's what you had in mind when you started this?"

"Yes, but do you think it's working? If I'd seen what he saw I wouldn't exactly come running back to him."

"The plan is not to make him jealous," Tank explained around another bite of his sandwich. "The idea is to get him thinking. And from the look on his face last night, I'd say that's what he's doing now."

Well, when he put it that way it made more sense. I'd come to realize that it would be both childish and deceptive to have Ranger be jealous. Okay, so first of all I didn't think Ranger even did jealous, but either way, at some point I'd have to tell him that it was just a lie.

But if we didn't do anything good friends didn't do and people happened to see it…that I could live with. Especially because Lester would most likely put his spin on it. I smiled and took a long pull from my beer.

"Okay. I think," I said. "Have you seen him since last night?"

Tank shook his head as he finished his sandwich. "I checked in with the control room this morning, he was out all night doing surveillance."

I nodded, "Bobby told me. I figured maybe you ran into each other at the gym or something."

"Ranger was in his apartment only to be disturbed in emergencies," Tank said. "Whatever that means."

That wasn't unusual for Ranger. What did I expect? This was Ranger, Master of the hidden emotions.

I finished my sandwich and balled up the napkin. "What do you suggest we do now?"

Tank emptied his glass before he replied. "No news yet from the surveillance teams. They're going about their business, but they're not talking to anyone. Two more informants confirmed you're now on the list. So for now, everything stays the same."

I blinked. Did he do this on purpose or did he really think I'd asked about 'the case'? Then I realized I didn't really want to talk about Ranger anymore either.

"So I'll keep my bodyguards?"

Tank nodded as he got up and piled up the dishes. "If he don't show within twenty-four, we ease up again."

I frowned at him but he winked. "Are you saying that if DalBo doesn't make contact today I can pee without a watchdog again?" I said it with no heat so Tank knew I was teasing, and he rolled his eyes. I wondered if he'd picked that habit up from me, because he was doing a great job for a guy.

"Something like that, yeah," he said. "You'll have one of us in the parking lot though."

I didn't know whether to be happy about this news or scared. Probably Ranger had overreacted anyway, there'd never been any danger. I liked that theory a lot better than the other one I could come up with, because this one kept asking if maybe DalBo was aware of my bodyguards and was waiting for them to give him an opening.

I shook my head to clear it. "Does that mean you won't bring me dinner anymore?"

Tank threw his head back and laughed. "You want your cake and eat it too, don't you?" he asked when he recovered.

"Well duh," I said, getting up to clear the table. "Why would I want cake and _not_ eat it?"

Tank's laughter followed me to the kitchen and I chimed in. It felt good to laugh. And it felt good to have a friend like Tank around.

And I loved having the other Merry Men around too, I just wanted some alone time every now and then, especially when I was at home, so I couldn't wait for this one to be over.

After dinner, Tank went down to synchronize his watch with Cal or something, and he took Bob with him to give him some exercise. I had some time to myself and called Lula.

"You hoggin' my man again?" she asked when we'd said our hellos and I could hear the smile in her voice. I plopped down on my bed.

"Hey, it was your idea," I pointed out and she laughed.

"I didn't know he'd be staying over. It gets kinda lonely when you're used to having such a big love machine next to you!" I heard her suck in her breath and there was a brief pause, but before I could say anything she continued.

"God, Steph, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…oh forget I said anything! I was just thinking out loud, really."

I didn't know if Lula was referring to Ranger or Morelli, or my love life in general, and I didn't want to find out why she was apologizing. "Don't worry about it. But are you sure you're still okay with the plan?"

Best keep the conversation going before Lula got a chance to ask how I was feeling about the lack of a love machine in my life.

"I'm not saying I don't miss my man," Lula said. "But you probably need him for more than the plan from what I hear."

I sighed and told Lula about the latest developments and realized it had almost been six months since I'd been in this kind of danger. That was sort of a record for me. I couldn't say I'd missed the feeling.

"And then I have a favor to do for someone that I need your help with," I told her after I finished rehashing the last couple days.

"Hold on," Lula said. "Ranger was at your house yesterday? I thought he went to Boston for the week?"

I sighed and told her that part of the story in more detail. And by the end of it, I had to swallow hard to breathe around the lump in my throat. I took a deep breath.

"Hunh," Lula said and that was her only comment. I could imagine her standing with her hand on her hip, her lower lip protruding, the 'don't fuck with me' Lula, as Ranger called her.

I lay on my back spread-eagled, staring at the ceiling while I talked. "Yeah," I agreed.

"So you gonna do me one more favor?" I asked.

"I only have the one lover," Lula chuckled. I rolled my eyes even thought she couldn't see me.

"I need you to call me whenever you see Joyce Barnhard in the office," I told her.

"Why the hell would you want to know _that_?"

I blew out some air. "I have this favor to do and…"  
Lula cut me off. "You said that. If I'm gonna help you with it, I need the details."

Oh what the hell. "Remember when Harry the Hammer let me stay in his suite in Atlantic City?" Fine, I'd told Lula everything else, she might as well know about Harry. After all, I wanted her to be my lookout in the bonds office so I didn't have to be there all the time hoping Joyce would show up. Of course one could argue that Joyce showing up at the office wasn't crucial to fulfilling my promise, but it was where I wanted to start. I wanted to see Vinnie's reaction to her, that was going to be my starting point. Or something, because I hadn't worked it out yet.

"Girl, I don't know how you get yourself into theses things. It's uncanny," Lula said when I'd told her everything.

"So let me get this straight. Your boyfriend broke up with you because he loves you too much, and my boyfriend is pretending to be your lover. Meanwhile some foreign Mafioso is after you and you have a favor to do for another?"

Trust Lula to make my life sound like a soap opera.

I heard my front door close. "Tank is back," I told Lula. "I haven't exactly told him about that favor…"

"What do you mean?" Lula wanted to know. "Didn't you say this Mozzarella guy worked for Harry?"

"Yeah," I said. There was a pause and all of a sudden, I knew where Lula was going. "But I haven't actually talked to Harry about Guzzarella and DalBo…"

"See, this is the reason why you should call me more often. It's dinner time now, so it's not polite to call him, but I'll come over first thing in the morning and we do this together." She made some tsk-ing noise. "Girlfriend, it's a miracle you survived until now. We talk to the Hammer and straighten this whole thing out."

Now that she mentioned it, I felt quite stupid. That was the first thing I should have thought about. Mental head slap.

"Okay," I said. "I'll let you know when the dayshift arrives."

"Dayshift?" Lula asked. I told her about RangeMan's bodyguard schedule.

"You know, if I didn't trust you as much as I do, you'd be in trouble," Lula commented on the sleeping arrangements and we disconnected.

Oddly enough I felt like I had accomplished something. Over all, the day hadn't been half bad. I'd gotten the checks for two captures, I'd had dinner delivered and I had sort of a plan on what to do about my Mafia problem.

I stayed on my bed a little longer, enjoying the solitude I hadn't had all day. It was nice to feel protected, but it was something else to be watched every minute of the day, it had felt weird to go to the bathroom with company who waited right outside.

I realized I was starting to whine again and shook my head. I had a plan now! Lula would come over, I'd call Harry and he'd clear it all up. Then there would be no more need for bodyguards and I could go on as usual.

Well, as soon as I'd paid Harry back, that was.

I pushed myself off the bed and went to the bathroom to wash my hands and my face. Maybe I'd ask Tank if he was up for a round of Monopoly, that usually distracted me.

I caught a glimpse of me in the mirror and grimaced. Maybe I should have paid a little more attention to makeup that morning. I shrugged and made a mental note to make extra sure in the morning.

I checked my alarm clock when I left the bathroom, it was just after six. Perfect for several rounds of mind-numbing Monopoly, I decided.

I could hear Bob yipping in the living room, probably Tank was teasing him with one of his squeaky toys, Bob could go nuts if you kept dangling it in front of him and pulled it away at the last second.

"About time you're back," I joked, making my way over to the living room. "For a minute you had me worried I wouldn't have anyone to kiss good…" The words died in my throat and I stood frozen in the doorway.

Bob grabbed his toy from Ranger's hand and scurried away happily while Ranger's eyes found mine.

"Sorry to disappoint," he said toneless after a long minute.

I'd never joked about kissing Tank, not to him or anybody else. I chose the moment I was actually talking to Ranger and not him to start. If I ever wished for the earth to open up and swallow me it was now.

I was frantically searching for something, _anything_, to say while still trying to get my feet to move. Both efforts failed and I stood rooted to the ground, staring at Ranger.

"Do you want me to call him up?" Ranger finally asked and all I could manage was a slight shake of my head.

My thoughts were racing. Did I want to do the unexpected and hug him? Did I want to turn around and barricade into my bedroom? I still like option number one best, where I just disappeared altogether.

"What are you doing here?" Oh, smooth Stephanie. Real eloquent.

Ranger's eyes never left mine. "Sit down," he said.

TBC

* * *

A/N: Why do you think Ranger is at Steph's house? Do you want him to apologize? Change his mind? And if he does, do you think Steph should hear him out? 

I love to hear from you, whether you loved it or hated it, I welcome all feedback!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Just language, no spoilers

Thank you all so much for your great feedback, if I forgot to reply to you in person, I apologize, I appreciate every single review!

A special Thank you to Stellar Stayce who helped me front, back and center with this chapter. I owe you Babe!

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 13

It took a moment for me to process what he'd said. Or rather how he'd said it. 'Sit down'?

I finally felt like I was in control of my body again, but I was not going to walk over to the couch and sit down. Oh no. I felt much more inclined to slap him, actually.

"You haven't answered my question, what are you doing here?" somebody said. It must have been me because Ranger's eyes widened marginally and he hadn't said anything. I just didn't recognize the voice or the calm tone.

Somewhere between the time I was crying on the floor and he picked me up and the dinner we shared, Tank's words must have sunk in.

I was done feeling sorry for myself and I was done begging. And I definitely wasn't going to let Ranger order me around.

I narrowed my eyes and put my hands on my hips. "Didn't you just tell me less than 24 hours ago you wanted to stay away from me?"

"That was before I found you necking with my right-hand man. He can't be objective guarding you, I'm taking over," Ranger said and I could feel his anger just beneath the surface, carefully controlled.

"Christ Steph, Tank?" He raised an eyebrow. "I understand you wanting to pay me back, but Lula? Does she deserve a friend like you?"

I gasped in surprise, I couldn't believe he'd said that. Had he been standing any closer, I would have kicked him. He had some nerve questioning my loyalty to Lula! And he couldn't have come up with a lamer excuse for sending Tank away.

Probably I should have cleared up the misunderstanding right there, but I was too furious. I was looking for something to hurt him back.

"Tank is there for me when I need him," I hissed through clenched teeth. "Which is more than I can say for you."

We both knew that was a lie, but I didn't care. I glared at Ranger, silently challenging him.

The only sound was a low growl, and at that moment I didn't know if it had come from Ranger or from Bob, it had sounded feral, wolf-like.

I barely saw Ranger move before I felt my body being pulled forward and I slammed into his chest. He held me so tight I almost couldn't breathe and crushed his mouth to mine, kissing me with a ferocity I'd only experienced once before.

I opened my mouth without thinking and as much as I wanted to resist, as soon as he started stroking my tongue with his, my whole body tingled and I fisted his shirt with both hands.

Images of me ripping Ranger's clothes off and pushing him onto my bed flashed before my inner eye and I moaned into his mouth.

Ranger's response was another growl, and this time there was no doubt who it came from as I could feel his chest vibrate with it and a coil of heat exploded in my belly and traveled south.

His hands held me flush against him and I could feel his reaction to me press into my abdomen, there was no doubt he was as excited as I was.

He deepened the kiss and my toes curled up. I was starting to pull on his shirt to get him naked, beg him if necessary to take me as hard as he could.

And then that annoying new voice spoke up. Well, it was actually more like a scream and it snapped me back into reality. The voice had a name, too, it was my pride.

I found the strength to release Ranger's shirt and splay my hands flat on his chest, then I pushed as hard as I could until he took a step back.

His eyes were dilated black and his breathing was erratic. I didn't fare much better and had to take a moment to bring my heart rate down.

"No Ranger," I said when I trusted my voice not to break and my body not to throw itself at him. "You don't get to pick the parts you like and keep them. You want me, you have to be ready to be mine. This back and forth isn't working for me. Come back and stay or leave for good, nothing in between will work for me."

I really didn't know what I meant by that, the words just tumbled out. I was still thinking naked Ranger and had a hard time holding on to the pride thing. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew it was exactly what I felt.

"Dammit Stephanie, we've been over this." He took a deep breath and let himself fall back onto the couch. "You don't get it, do you?"

He closed his eyes and rubbed his chin with his palm. He looked tired. At that moment, I wanted to forget we were fighting because of his stupid decision, I had to force myself not to wrap my arms around him.

Instead I walked over to the couch and took a seat next to him, very careful not to touch him.

"Why don't you explain it to me then? What I get is that I can't have you and you don't want me to have anybody else." I said, still trying to keep calm. I was itching to scream and flail my arms, nothing like a denied orgasm to get my temper going.

Ranger opened his eyes and took a deep breath. "In the first place, you already have me. And you know it. And secondly, if you were to have another man, I'd hope it wasn't my best friend."

I was trying to determine whether he was trying to tell me he was jealous or just inconvenienced. Did he think Tank was too good for me or not good enough? I hated it when his remarks could be interpreted ten ways from Sunday. And what was this 'you already have me' shit?

I was about to ask him what exactly he had meant _and_ comment on his attitude when I felt the sub I had for dinner rise up in my throat. My stomach cramped as I jumped up and raced towards the bathroom.

I made it just in time and crouched down, losing my dinner and parts of my lunch. I flinched when Ranger gathered my hair and held it back, but I was too sick to protest.

Even after my stomach was empty, I kept gagging until my stomach muscles hurt. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd hurled, and it certainly wasn't anything like this.

When I was finally able to stop and take regular breaths, Ranger pressed a wet washcloth into my hand and helped me up. He didn't say a word as he filled my water glass and handed me my toothbrush, he just made sure I could stand on my own two feet and left.

I knew he cared for me, he always had. I stood at the counter, staring at the door he'd just closed and thought again how he was making our lives so complicated for no reason at all.

I was sure that's what had triggered the vomiting, too. I'd had too much stress and drama the past days, probably my body was raising the white flag.

After I'd brushed my teeth I took a long hot shower to clear my mind. Had Ranger been serious when he said he'd taken over for Tank? More importantly, had he meant what he said about why he'd sent Tank home? No, I decided, it had sounded too contrived. I didn't doubt that seeing me with Tank had affected him, I just wasn't sure just how.

My stomach clenched again and I took that as a sign to stop thinking. Ranger was giving me ulcers!

I didn't turn off the water until it turned cold and by that time, my head was fogged from chlorine steam and I was glad to be numbed.

Ranger was stretched out on my bed when I opened the bathroom door and he jumped up when he saw me.

"You okay?" He asked and I could hear the concern in his voice as he came over to me. I almost collapsed into his arms, suddenly my legs were unable to carry my weight and I berated myself for being the damsel in distress once again.

"I'm just tired," I croaked as Ranger wrapped an arms around my waist and led me over to my bed.

"You're also white as a sheet," Ranger told me, running his hand down my face. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead as he gently pushed me down. "And cold as ice," he said.

As much as I'd been ready to tell him I never wanted to see him again an hour ago, I was glad he was with me. I found it hard to keep my eyes open, I was totally exhausted.

Ranger pulled the covers over me and left the bedroom. He came back a minute later and handed me a can of ginger ale.

I took it gratefully and almost emptied it in one long pull. My throat felt like it had been sanded and the coolness soothed it some. He took the can from me and pushed me back into my pillow, then he pulled off his t-shirt, opened his belt and lost his pants, and wordlessly climbed into bed with me as if nothing had ever happened.

I meant to protest, really, but I couldn't come up with anything to say, it felt too good to be close to him. "Thank you," I murmured, closer to sleep than to consciousness, and I wasn't sure what I thanked him for or why.

He didn't respond, he just draped his arm around me and pulled me towards him. His hand on my stomach felt warm and soothing and I don't remember anything after that, just his breath on my skin and the feeling of warmth and security and how well our bodies fit together.

When I woke up, all warm feelings were gone. I had about a second to come to my senses, then I had to untangle myself from Ranger and rush to the bathroom.

I didn't know what time it was as I was searching for Ralph yet again, I just notice that it was still dark because I hadn't bothered flicking on the lights. And I didn't hear Ranger come in, he just suddenly held my head and pressed a washcloth into my hand again.

I had the bitchy thought of asking him why he was being nice to me as he helped me up afterwards, but that was ridiculous. Ranger had taken care of me long before we became a couple, he would probably continue long after we broke up. I wanted to scream.

"I'm okay," I assured him when the room stopped spinning and picked up my toothbrush. I was still nauseous, but since there hadn't been anything in my stomach to begin with, I had to be done with barfing, right?

When I looked up, he was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. He was dressed only in black boxers which made it hard for me to concentrate on his face. His body was best described with 'perfect'. And my mind really needed a distraction after feeling crappy.

"It may have been something you ate," he said. I nodded, although I didn't think so. I got hit by these waves of nausea, but after I was done gagging, I always felt fine. Well, better. A bit weak and shaky from the effort, but not nauseous. If I had to venture a guess I still would have said Ranger was the cause.

"Maybe," I said vaguely.

"I'm gonna stay with you until you feel better," Ranger announced. My hand holding the toothbrush froze. Was that what I wanted? Did I want Ranger to stay with me out of pity?

"I _am_ feeling better," I said, answering my own question with a resounding 'no'. Ranger didn't want to be with me any more than I wanted him here for the wrong reasons.

"Besides, Lula will be here soon. She'll take care of me."

"Babe."

There it was. This one syllable that could say so much. Did he know what this one word could do to me, one way or another? It could get me angry or happy or horny or sad or…it was weird.

"Really, I'm fine," I said, squeezing toothpaste on the brush. "Probably some stomach bug. I had take-out last night."

Ranger still hadn't moved by the time I had washed my face. I knew what he was doing, we'd played this game often in the six months we'd been a couple. It always drove me crazy. Ranger would just look at me without saying anything, I'd do all the talking.

But I was too tired for the game now. I just sighed and brushed past him back to bed. A glance at the alarm clock told me it was 5:30.

"How long has this been going on?" Ranger asked. He had turned around to face me, but he hadn't come back to bed. And I couldn't ask him to come, the most I could do was not protest.

Ungh. Mental head slap. I was driving myself insane.

"How long has what been going on?" I was tired and exhausted from puking my guts out, I didn't know what he was referring to right away. And at the moment, I was trying to get the covers just right, so I almost jumped when Ranger took my elbow to get my attention.

"The Stephanie I know can eat like a horse and not get sick."

"Actually, horses have very sensitive stomachs," I said and Ranger's grip on my arm tightened.

"Nothing's going on." I said. "The last couple days have been a little hectic." When I said it out loud it didn't make much sense. My life was always hectic.

But I really just wanted to get back to sleep and forget all about it.

Ranger released my arm when I lowered myself onto the bed. I couldn't see his face clearly in the shadows but I was pretty sure he was glaring at me.

"I'll be good as new once I get enough sleep," I said, yawning for emphasis. "You don't have to stay."

Truth was, I didn't know if I wanted him to stay or not. Well, okay, I knew I wanted him to stay, but I wanted him to laugh and tell me what an idiot he had been to think he could live without me and then snuggle up and…he wouldn't even have to use the word idiot. Just as long as he came to his senses.

And to help his senses, I held out my hand until he took it, and then I pulled him down towards me, and he got the message and slid under the covers next to me. Okay, fine so I did want him to stay. If he didn't want to admit he'd been wrong, I could accept us not talking about it and pretending nothing had happened.

I knew I was over-simplifying, but it felt too good to have him drape his arm around me and pull me close. I leaned back my head to rest it on his shoulder and fell asleep immediately, although I would have sworn I'd stay up thinking and wondering.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was alone in my bed. I tried not to feel disappointed and assessed how my stomach felt before I stretched and yawned. Yep, I'd been right, some sleep and I was good as new. Or would be, anyway. I was sure of it.

I listened into the apartment but I couldn't hear anything. Good, so Ranger had left. And since there had been no threat from Guzzarella, I probably only had one Merry Men watching me from the parking lot.

But instead of being happy at having one problem less, I felt cold and alone. Damn Ranger! When had he snuck into my life and made himself indispensable? Of course I knew the answer. And if I was honest, I had to admit I wouldn't want it any other way, which was exactly why I had such a hard time grasping Ranger's logic.

And now, instead of enjoying the time I could spend with him, I pushed him away. I had a feeling I was done fighting. If he didn't want me, I had enough pride left to let him go. The only problem was, my pride always left as soon as I saw or touched him.

I sighed and hit the pillow next to me while I turned, then I buried my face in it and inhaled Ranger's scent. Damn him and his shower gel!

When I finally sat up, I saw the mug sitting on the nightstand, he had made me tea. It was still lukewarm so it couldn't have been standing for long, but there was no note. Since it was eight, I figured he left to go to work.

It was herbal tea, of course, but I thought it would help my stomach settle so I took a sip and took it into the bathroom with me to finish it after my shower.

Bob galloped into my bedroom and slammed himself against my legs as soon as I came out of the bathroom. I was wearing my bathrobe and was going to make coffee and it occurred to me that Bob hadn't been in my bedroom before. I felt like a bad doggy mom for not even missing him and hugged him apologetically.

"He missed you," Ranger said and I looked up, trying not to look surprised. I hadn't heard him come in. He was leaning against the doorframe again, but this time he was fully dressed in his usual black.

I ruffled Bob's ears and patted his side and he got all excited. He loves attention.

"That's it for now, big guy," I said and took a step forward. Bob took that as his signal for food and scrambled off towards the kitchen, but Ranger stayed. He had a strange look on his face and he was still staring at me.

"I thought you left," I said into the uncomfortable silence.

I'd been disappointed when I woke up and he wasn't there, but I'd realized that I had more or less expected it. I didn't know how to react to the fact that he was still here. Or maybe I just didn't want to admit I was happy he stayed.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Ah hell. I didn't know how to answer that. How would it have sounded if I'd told him I wanted _this_ Ranger to leave, and that I wanted _my _Ranger back?

"Do you _want_ to stay?"

If he answered with a 'Babe' I was going to slap him. He didn't though, he just held my eyes. And there was raw emotion in his. It was pain, but I couldn't make out whether he was pained because I didn't answer his question or because he was beginning to doubt his decision.

I wanted to be proud of myself for staying calm, but really, I was just too tired to fight. This would have to be his decision. And I didn't know what I was hoping for.

I was literally saved by the bell, my phone rang. Ranger had put the portable on my nightstand so I didn't have to brush past him into the kitchen to pick it up.

"You up for some doughnuts?" Lula asked when I answered. My stomach did a somersault at the thought of doughnuts and for the first time, I was concerned. When the thought of a staple in my diet made me nauseous, something was wrong.

But if I told Lula I didn't want doughnuts, she'd be just as concerned as Ranger, and I couldn't handle any more of that.

"Sure," I said instead, "Boston Crèmes."

"You got it. I got up when Tank left for work, and he gets up at the crack of dawn. So I'm ready to leave soon. You up for company?"

I already _had_ company. My back was to Ranger, but I was pretty sure he was still standing in the doorway. And I realized I didn't want Ranger to leave. And I needed Lula's help.

But Ranger didn't know about the teensy-tiny favor I had to do for Harry.

This is why I usually avoid lying. It only gets you in trouble later. And omitting some facts is usually just as bad as lying. If Lula came over, she'd just assume that Ranger knew and talk about her strategy.

If I told Ranger to leave, I'd be sending him the wrong message. If I told Lula not to come, I'd hurt her feelings.

Was it too late to request a do-over of the day?

"You there?" Lula asked.

I bit my lip. Time, I needed time. "I'm not actually up yet," I fibbed. What's one more lie if you're already deep in them?

"Okay," Lula said. "I didn't think you would be. Hell, I'm not usually up this early either! I'm gonna go to the office first, give you some time to wake up, and swing by later?"

Phew. That would work. "Sounds good," I told Lula and we disconnected.

"You always shower before you get up?"

Oh, just shoot me.

I sighed and decided to go with honesty now. I didn't have the strength to lie, as much as I wanted to avoid the confrontation.

"I needed some time," I admitted. I slowly turned around when I realized it would be silly to keep staring at the wall while talking to him.

"You haven't answered my question," I pointed out.

He startled me with his speed yet again, he was right in front of me within a heartbeat, slung his arm around me in another, and his mouth crushed down on mine, all within a second or two.

He kissed me hungrily, with a passion that I felt right down to my core, his hands wandering up and down my back, and I gasped when he broke the kiss.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked huskily.

I looked up into his eyes, there was no humor there, no hint of a smile on his face, it was a serious question.

"Yes," I admitted breathlessly. I realized we never finished our conversation from the night before, he'd never given me an answer. I could point out that the kiss just proved that he obviously wanted me, but I was too confused. What was he trying to say?

"Do you mean…" I started but then I didn't know what I wanted to ask him. Had he changed his mind, come to his senses?

He shook his head slightly and tucked a curl behind my ear. "I mean what I meant yesterday. I love you. If I had a choice, I wouldn't leave. Ever." He cupped my face in both his hands.

"I tried to explain but I don't think I can, babe," he said softly, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"You keep thinking I want to punish you when all I want is to protect you."

Oh not that speech again, I thought. I wasn't any more ready for it than I'd been the day before. And just like that, my confusion turned into frustration.

"But didn't you say you had to protect me from you and needed to stay away?" I sat back down on the bed.

"That was the whole problem, right? You couldn't trust yourself around me?" I scoffed, my voice dripping with sarcasm to mask the pain. "How do you explain sticking around to _protect_ me?"

Ranger ran a hand through his hair and sat down next to me. "I realized you need to be protected from the mob more than you need to be protected from me." He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry about last night. I meant to stay on the couch."

"But…"

"I know, I'm not making much sense." He smiled, but it looked sad. "I said I _had_ to stay away from you, I never said I _wanted_ to. And I know I'm not doing a good job trying. That doesn't mean it's the wrong decision, that just means I have to try harder."

He pulled me towards him until my head rested on his shoulder. "If you really want, I call Bobby in, and I'll take over downstairs. I don't want to make this any harder on you."

I closed my eyes to think about what he said. Translation: he hadn't changed his mind at all. He wanted to protect me from the big bad mob wolf, and he'd had a moment of weakness and kissed me. Probably he'd admit to two moments of weakness, counting this morning.

I stiffened as his words sank in and lifted my head to look at him. "You still think you could lose control and hit me?"

For the first time I really understood the meaning of 'slap some sense into you', I felt the urge to slap Ranger until he realized how irrational he was, since he obviously didn't react to words. But I knew, the day before nonwithstanding, I couldn't hurt him any more than he could hurt me, even if it the saying was true.

So I glared at him, challenging him to answer me.

He blew out some air and shook his head again, then he tightened his grip on my shoulder. "Do you know what it is that I do?"

I knew he wasn't talking about RangeMan. "You never told me," I said and that was true. He'd call it a mission, his orders, or a task, but he'd never tell me where he was going, how long he'd be gone and what he was doing, and he knew it.

"I know," he admitted. "But what do you think I do?"

Images of Rambo macheting his way through a jungle while ducking enemy fire flashed through my mind and I was about to put them into words when Ranger's cell phone rang on his utility belt.

He cursed as he got up and yanked the phone off the belt. "Talk."

I sank back against the pillows and watched as he listened for a few seconds. "Put the team together, I'll be there in fifteen," he said and closed the phone.

Ranger turned to face me. "I'm sorry. There was a break in at one of our biggest accounts, I have to be there."

I just nodded, I'd expected as much from the phone call. RangeMan was Ranger's responsibility.

"Will you be okay?" He bent down and ran his fingers over my cheek.

I nodded again. "Lula will be here soon. And Tank said if we don't hear from Guzzarella or DalBo, I won't need a bodyguard anymore."

"That's not what I meant," Ranger said softly and brushed his lips over mine. "We'll talk when I get back, okay?"

I heard the front door close behind him and sighed. I thought I knew Ranger about as well as anyone could know him. These past few days had taught me otherwise. He was so unpredictable.

One minute he kissed me with a passion that was breathtaking, and the next he claimed he needed distance. I had a feeling we really needed that talk.

I got up to get dressed, did a half-assed job at hair and make-up, got coffee started and called Lula to tell her I was ready.

Probably Tank or Ranger would have told me if there were any threats or even sightings, and since I hadn't heard anything, I assumed it had all blown over. Probably Guzzarella and DalBo just had to cause a stink because a girl had gotten them arrested.

"Male egos can be so fragile," I told Bob as I filled his bowls and dropped some hamster nuggets in Rex's food dish.

I had just poured myself some coffee when the doorbell rang. Lula was carrying a tray with two coffees, a pastry bag and a box of doughnuts and managed to get everything inside and on the dining table without tripping over Bob who'd smelled the doughnuts as soon as I'd opened the door.

"That Bobby sure is fine," she said appreciatively when we sat down and attacked the pastries.

"Can't compare to my man, of course, but not too shabby," she continued. "Why do you have him sitting in the parking lot instead of up here?"

I took a bite of my doughnut but regretted it as soon as I swallowed. It sat heavy in my stomach, so I put it back on my plate. "I had extra protection up here," I told Lula. And then I told her the story from walking in on Ranger while 'talking' to Tank to this morning, not going into the vomiting thing.

"Dayum, girl," Lula said when I finished. "If they ever make a movie out of your life, it could be a soap opera." She took a sip of her coffee and I grimaced.

"But it sure looks like the plan was working, Ranger sounds pretty jealous to me."

"I'm gonna try to _really_ talk to him when he gets back. For now the plan is off," I said and tried a muffin from the bag. I hadn't realized I'd made the decision until I said it out loud. "I don't want Ranger jealous, I want him back."

"Guess I understand that," Lula said and took a second doughnut. "And I won't mind having Tank back where he belongs either. But it was still a damned good plan."

I agreed and took my time finishing my muffin and my coffee because I dreaded what came next. I didn't want to talk to Harry because he'd ask me how far along I was in my efforts to get rid of Joyce.

Speaking of…"Was Vinnie in the office this morning?"

Lula shook her head 'no'. "Connie said he had some appointment and wouldn't be in until noon. I told her to let me know if Joyce shows," she said. "I didn't tell her why, didn't know if you wanted to share." She got up and threw her empty cup in the trash.

Probably I should have told Connie first, she was the one with Family ties, she knew how to handle them. I decided to plead temporary insanity, I'd been too flustered to think straight. My stomach was the best proof of that.

"You ready?" Lula asked from the kitchen.

I sighed and remembered why I'd agreed to Lula's suggestion: I knew she wouldn't let me procrastinate.

I got lucky though, Harry didn't answer his phone. There was no answering machine either, it just rang until I got the busy signal.

Lula waved her hand dismissively. "We keep trying. He's gotta be home at some point, it's early yet. And we have plenty of food." I had expected her to say something like that, it wasn't easy to deter Lula when she was hooked.

"And what exactly am I gonna tell him?" I asked. Somehow, Lula's idea had made more sense the night before.

"You're gonna ask him to tighten the leash on his goons, you're gonna tell him that he better keep his guys in check or the deal's off."

I snorted. "Yeah, that'll put the living fear into Harry the Hammer…"

Lula shook her head. "It's not about that. I know his kind. They got pride. They don't stand for lackeys going around doing their own thing. He's gonna take care of those guys for you."

Actually that made sense. Mental head slap. I could have thought of that myself. "Okay," I said. But I still wasn't looking forward to talking to Harry.

I tried two more times in half-hour intervals without any luck. Maybe the number he'd given me was only manned in the evenings or something. I was getting tired of trying, because every time I dialed the number, I got an adrenaline high and every time he didn't pick up, I crashed.

"I'm gonna keep trying from the road," I told Lula after the last try. "I still have some skips to catch, wanna ride shotgun?" Maybe we would even catch one or the other. But most importantly, I'd get out of the house. I needed to move.

I was about to put the handset on the charger when the phone rang and I was so surprised I almost dropped it.

"You think he got caller ID?" Lula asked wide-eyed.

I hadn't thought of that. I just closed my eyes and answered the phone.

"Do you want to share with me why you're calling a mob boss three times in one morning?" Ranger asked without a greeting.

Shit.

TBC

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A/N: Is now the time for THE talk? Should Steph finally get everything out in the open? I'd appreciate your opinion on the matter. 


	14. Chapter 14

Your reviews are what keeps this story going, thank you all so very much. I appreciate your feedback and especially your suggestions.

This chapter wouldn't have been possible without Stayce, I owe you more than you can imagine, Babe. Thank you!

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Just language, no spoilers

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 14

Was it too much to ask for one day of peace and quiet? I sighed. I'd almost been ready to believe that I wouldn't get a hold of Harry and would get one more day to think about what to say to him and how I was going to say it.

And I had completely and utterly forgotten about the wire tap RangeMan had on my phone. I hadn't thought about it since the last time I needed it, when crazy Teddy Gardner had terrorized me over the phone seven months ago and they'd tried to trace him. It had never occurred to me that the tap hadn't been removed afterwards. Were they spying on me, did Ranger know every number I called?

Ranger didn't give me the time to think about a response. "I'll be over as soon as I'm done here," he said when I didn't answer. "Don't even think about not being home, I'd find you."

The disconnect clicked in my ear while I was still trying to determine if he had meant that last bit as a joke. I stood with my mouth open, and I still didn't know what to tell him.

"Who was that?" Lula asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

The room started spinning and little white dots danced across my vision, so I held on to the counter. "I'll be fine," I told her. "Just hadn't expected Ranger to monitor my phone calls." Especially not when I called Harry the Hammer.

Lula had gotten up when she thought we were ready to leave and was standing close to me. Now she dropped her purse and took my elbow. "You don't look so good. You better sit down," she said and steered me over to the dining table.

"Don't move, I'll get you some water," she advised as soon as she'd deposited me on a chair. Damn, I thought, Ranger really knew how to freak me out lately. I usually only got this dizzy after maxing out my charge card at Macy's.

The way Lula was fussing, it was a good thing I hadn't told her about the nausea. Although I figured I shouldn't even think about that, since the muffin I had for breakfast might decide to come up again.

I took a sip of the water Lula handed me and it actually made me feel better. "So what's this really about?" Lula wanted to know.

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Lula really deserved to know. "I haven't really had a chance to tell Ranger about my deal with Harry," I finally said and emptied the glass.

"What about Tank?" Lula wanted to know. "You tell him?"  
I shook my head. "Just you." And Eddie, but that seemed a lifetime ago. And I never got to tell him what it was that Harry wanted me to do. He'd probably laugh his ass off if I told him I had to find a way to permanently separate Vinnie and Joyce.

Lula plopped down in the chair across from me. "Whoa. Why would you not tell your own private Army you had a problem?"

I sighed. It was a loaded question. Why hadn't I told Ranger after Teddy and Thomalla had been behind bars and I had time to breathe?

I can't say that I had forgotten about it, I'd just…sort of repressed it because I'd dreaded it and I'd managed to not think about it until I'd gotten the phone call a week ago. It's what I do, I go with denial until I almost believe it never happened.

I sighed again and put my elbows down on the table, crossed my forearms and rested my head on them.

"Guess I forgot."

"Hunh," Lula said and I didn't have to look up to know she was frowning. "And now you worry so much it makes you woozy?" The glass beads in her hair clicked as she shook her head. "Girl, you messed this one up but good."

I shrugged without looking up. "Everyone has to be good at something."

"You still want to go bounty huntering?" She asked me.

I opened my mouth to give her some excuse, but then I decided to go with the truth. "Ranger is going to come over. The control room must have told him I tried to call Harry, and now he wants to know why."

"I'll bet," was Lula's only comment.

"Probably I should stay here and wait for him." I said.

"And I don't need to be here for that. I always enjoy fireworks more from far away." Lula said with an edge to her voice.

"It's not like that," I said, looking up at her, but I didn't sound very convincing. It could be _exactly_ like that.

"Didn't you say he wanted to 'talk' anyway?" She made air quotes with two fingers of each hand.

Yes, he wanted to talk. And I wanted to talk. The trouble was, we seemed to get interrupted every time we tried to. I grimaced and wondered if talking was really such a good idea.

"'Less you want me to stay, of course," Lula said, but she was squirming in her seat. Probably the thought of angry Ranger still made her nervous. Not that I was exactly calm. If Ranger didn't have such a tight control over his anger, I'd be running for the hills along with her.

"No, that's okay," I said and shrugged again. "I made that bed, now I have to lie in it."

"Speaking of beds," Lula said and grinned. "I should call Tank and find out when his lunch break is…" She got her cell phone out of her pocket and I rolled my eyes.

And then I remembered how my first month at RangeMan, I'd lost five pounds because I'd never actually gotten food during my lunch hour. I just waited for Ranger to come out of a meeting or home from a job and take him upstairs. Later I got smart and ate whenever I had a chance to.

"Voicemail. I'll try later." Lula looked at me and frowned. "Did I say something wrong? You're looking at me like I killed your hamster."

I pressed two fingers against my forehead to smooth out the lines. "No, sorry. I was just thinking." And I'd gotten sad thinking, not angry. And especially not at Lula.

"You sure you gonna be okay? You're not gonna faint or nothing if I leave?"

I gave her a weak smile. "It's just a stomach bug. You know I have the worst timing. I'll be fine."

"Unh-huh," Lula said. "You almost faint and blame it on the stomach?"

I sighed. "No, I had some problems last night. Trust me, you don't want details. The dizzy spell is just a leftover from that."

Lula raised her eyebrows. "Unh-huh."

Lula's unease was contagious. I hadn't the slightest idea where to begin to tell Ranger the whole story and now that I thought about it, I didn't really feel up to it. I'd procrastinated six months, a few hours more wouldn't matter. After all, Ranger hadn't told me when exactly he was coming over, probably much later, I figured. There had been a break-in, that meant a lot of paperwork and that took time.

"Maybe I should go and make a dent in my FTA file collection," I said. "Who knows when Ranger will be ready to talk, if I sit here and wait I'm gonna be a nervous wreck when he gets here."

"There's that," Lula agreed. "But what if he shows up in five minutes and finds you gone? Batman gonna like that?"

"Who cares about Batman," I said with a dismissive wave as I slowly got up. I held on to the table, but there was no dizziness, I was a-okay. Lula was still staring at me, hands on hips, trying to figure out if I was serious.

"What happened to the bed you made?"

"If he gets here before I do, he's gonna wait for me. I don't plan on _staying_ away. It's not like I'm going into hiding or anything."

"Just as long as he knows I had nothing to do with the decision making," Lula grunted, but I knew she didn't think I'd throw her under the bus like that. Also, I wasn't quite sure Lula was as afraid of Ranger as she pretended. She's been known to stand up to him at times.

I went to get my hair and make-up presentable and thought about calling Ranger to tell him where I was going. But then I realized Bobby would take care of that, Lula had said he was sitting in my parking lot, and I had no intention of losing him. I'd tried that and I usually succeeded and it always ended badly for me.

"What about Bob?" Lula asked when I got out of my bedroom, checking my purse for all my paraphernalia. Bob was pressed against her leg and she was petting him. "Are we taking him with us?"

Bob could not be left alone because he'd howl and eat the furniture. "We'll take him with us and drop him at my parents' house," I said. "They're used to being his daycare."

"Okay, but bring a blanket," Lula said. "I don't want him shedding all over my seats."

Lula was very protective of her Firebird. I got a blanket from the back of the couch and we were finally ready to go. I had a squishy feeling in my stomach, but I knew where it came from this time: I knew I should stay home and wait for Ranger.

We trundled downstairs and I stopped by Bobby in his SUV to tell him where we were going. He raised an eyebrow and I knew he wanted to ask if I'd told Ranger about my plans but he didn't quite dare. In the end, he just nodded and started his car, and Lula and I maneuvered Bob onto the backseat of her car and took off.

We dropped Bob off and since Grandma Mazur was at the beauty parlor, it only took five minutes. It wasn't lunch time yet, and Mom was busy with housework, so I didn't have to feel bad about not stopping to chat.

"Take Hamilton to Glockner," I instructed Lula when we were alone in the car. "The skip lives on Delaware, off Glockner."

"I hope Bobby isn't gonna sic Ranger on us," Lula said as she stopped for a light. "Who are we after?"

"Even if he did, Ranger is mad at _me_, not at you, remember?" I went back to the file. "Robert Stelter. First time offender, left the site of an accident and was arrested because witnesses had his license plate."

238 Delaware was a row house in the middle of the block. We lucked out, Stelter was home and came with us willingly. He was one of those that had plain forgotten about their court date, probably a denier like me. I wasn't quite ready to buy lottery tickets, but so far, the day looked promising.

We weren't quite so lucky with the two other FTAs we went after, neither of them had been at home or at their work addresses, so I had to shelve them.

"I think we should break for lunch," Lula said as we buckled in after striking out at Tanya Zabitzky's house. It was one o'clock and surely lunch time, but my stomach was in such a nervous ball that I wasn't hungry. I told myself it was ridiculous and I shouldn't be nervous about talking to Ranger, but it didn't help.

I hadn't told my mom when I'd be picking Bob up, so I figured he could stay there for a while longer. Since we were only a few blocks from my house, I didn't want to make Lula drive all the way back to my parents'.

"You can just drop me off at home," I told Lula. "Probably RangeMan brought a car over by now anyway so you don't have to chauffeur me around anymore."

"You think Ranger is waiting for you." A statement, not a question. Once again, Lula saw right through me.

"That too," I admitted. Actually, I was sure of it. He'd said 'As soon as I'm done', which, now that I thought about it, had sounded like he was already wrapping up. So he'd probably been waiting for me for a while now. He might have called the control room or Bobby to learn where I was, but he hadn't called me. He was waiting for me in my living room, I could even imagine the way he was sitting in the chair.

"You gonna be okay?" Lula asked one more time as she pulled up to my building's rear door.

"Of course," I said. "It's just a talk. Piece of cake."

"Okay, but call me later," she said and took off. I gave Bobby a finger wave as he pulled into a parking spot. He nodded in response and I braced myself for the inevitable, taking long, deep breaths as I made my way through the lobby and up the stairs. I didn't take the elevator, because the stairs gave me a couple more minutes to think about what I was going to say, come up with some sort of game plan.

I stood in front of my door and wondered if I was better off sneaking up the fire escape. I could just crawl into my bed and try to convince Ranger I'd been there the whole time.

But with my luck, he'd hear me on the fire escape and shoot me.

I took one last deep breath and unlocked my door. I pushed it open and listened. All was quiet inside. Of course it would be, you never heard or saw Ranger if he didn't want you to.

Reminding myself that what I'd told Lula was actually the truth, I straightened my shoulders, dumped my pocket book on the end table in the foyer and stalked into the living room.

No Ranger.

Okay, so he was waiting in my bedroom. Trickier, because I found it hard to concentrate on anything when I saw Ranger on a bed, but okay.

I was wrong. Ranger wasn't in the bedroom. Or the bathroom, or any of the closets. I don't know why I went and checked the closets, but I did.

"He's not here," I told the sleeping Rex. There was some movement in the pine shavings, but he didn't emerge.

I'd been so sure that Ranger would be waiting for me that I needed a moment to regroup when I realized he wasn't in my apartment. And I figured I might as well regroup lying down, so I went to the bedroom and plopped down on the bed in my thinking position.

I was kind of beat from getting so little sleep the night before, so I figured I'd take a nap, but sleep wouldn't come. Instead, I actually started thinking.

For days now, I'd been running around with this feeling of guilt. I still thought Ranger was wrong trying to protect me from him, but on some level, maybe he was right when he didn't want to see me anymore. Who would want to date a liar, right?

Well, fuck that. I had nothing to feel guilty about. Ranger's strange behavior pretty much overshadowed my memory of that day, but I still had a clear recollection of wanting to tell him all about Harry and Guzzarella.

I'd been waiting for him to return from his mission just so I could talk to him and ask for his advice.

So it wasn't my fault at all, I had nothing to feel guilty about. If he had spent one minute of his time listening to me, or asking me how my week without him had been I would have had an opportunity to tell him all about it.

I jumped up as realization hit me and had to sit back down when the room started spinning.

I realized I wouldn't be in this mess if Ranger had taken the time to listen to me.

Lester wouldn't have gotten shot. I wouldn't have gotten abducted. I wouldn't have been ambushed in my apartment.

"Holy hell," I whispered.

Well, enough of that. Batman wanted to talk? Fine, we'd talk.

For half a second I contemplated waiting for him, but then I had a better idea: It was time to take this fight to his territory.

I practically flew into the bathroom and added two coats of mascara to my lashes for courage, fluffed up may hair, and then I gave my self the thumbs-up in the mirror and rushed out.

Bobby looked like he was thinking about flinching when I wrenched his passenger door open and hopped into the SUV.

"Hi" I said, smiling at him, as if I rode with him every day. "Let's go to the office."

"Vinnie's?" He looked a bit confused. Heh, I'd surprised a Merry Man!

"No, RangeMan," I said. "I need to get some work done."

Bobby recovered from his initial shock and nodded. "Okay," he said and started that car. I was clutching my shoulder bag to my stomach as if I'd get some support from it.

Was I doing the right thing? Would pushing Ranger now be a good idea?

I scoffed. There it was again. I was blaming myself and made Ranger the wounded hero, when none of this was my fault. It wasn't his fault either, but he was just as guilty as I was of not talking. So there.

I ignored Bobby's curious look and focused my attention on the road, thankfully it was only a short ride to Haywood.

As soon as we drove into the underground garage, my heart rate sped up and I started sweating. And I hadn't even _seen_ Ranger yet! This was not good. I did some deep breathing and got myself under control for the moment.

I wondered if I should ask Bobby to disable the security cameras, maybe he had a gizmo for it just like Ranger, but then I realized I'd confused him enough for one day and just followed him to the elevator.

I took a casual look around the garage and noticed the empty spot where Ranger's Carrera was usually parked. Good, he was still out.

When we got into the elevator, I flashed Bobby a smile to show him I hadn't lost my mind, I didn't want him to alert the other guys.

As soon as the doors opened on the 5th floor, I went looking for Tank. I'd decided he'd be my partner in crime for this one. I wanted to surprise Ranger with my presence, and I couldn't do that without help. At the same time, I had to try to be seen by as few Merry Men as possible, so they couldn't tip Ranger off. It was so much easier for Ranger to 'break into' my apartment, it really wasn't fair.

Tank was in the back of the control room, bent over a desk, studying papers. Lester was at the monitors, along with Junior, they both had their backs to me. There were more RangeMen 'on deck', but I didn't see them so I hoped they couldn't see me. I crouched down next to Tank and relayed my plan to him. He raised an eyebrow but nodded his agreement.

When I left the control room for the elevator, he followed me and pointed his key fob at the camera, then he winked and wished me luck. We both knew I needed it.

I rode up to the 7th floor with sweaty palms. I didn't even know why I was so damned nervous now, it had all seemed very logical when I'd been at home.

Tank had agreed to interrupt the video feed and talk to Bobby. They would keep my presence at RangeMan between them, although they wouldn't lie if asked directly.

I was sure Ranger wouldn't ask 'Have you seen Stephanie, is she here?' so I felt pretty safe there. That was, when and if he ever chose to return. Tank said he hadn't seen him all day. I couldn't believe he'd let me wait all this time. If I hadn't left with Lula, I would have pulled all my hair out by now.

I let myself into his apartment and let the quiet and coolness wash over me. It was quieter in Ranger's apartment in the afternoon than it was at my place in the dead of the night.

I got a bottle of water from the fridge and settled myself in the armchair facing the front door. Then I jumped up to lower the blinds. Then I jumped up to push the chair to the left a little bit to give me a better angle. I sat back down and switched my position about ten times before I settled on crossing my legs and leaning back.

When I was finally comfortable, I tried to come up with the best strategy, assuming that I was able to keep the fact that I was here from Ranger until he opened the door. I needed that ace in my sleeve to at least have the element of surprise.

I believe I nodded off a few times because I came awake with a snap when I heard the front door locks tumble. The apartment was bathed in the reddish light of dusk. I forced myself to remain in the chair for just a moment longer.

Ranger didn't make much noise, only his keys jingling in the silver tray on the sideboard announced his presence.

I jumped up as soon as he stepped through the archway that separated the foyer from the rest of the apartment.

"It's about time," I said, my voice louder than I had intended.

His eyes widened marginally and his shoulders straightened ever so slightly, the only indicators that I had surprised him. But I had succeeded; he hadn't expected me here.

Now, I swear my plan was to confront him all calm and mature, discuss it all. When I realized hours had passed and he didn't even call me to tell me he'd be late after promising me to stop by right after he wrapped up with the account and on top of everything, I had managed to surprise him, all my calmness left the building. I was in rhino mode in no time flat.

And it wasn't anything he'd done that second, he hadn't even said anything yet. No, this was the whole past week exploding like one big bomb.

"Glad you could finally make it." I walked over to where he was standing, my hands clenched behind my back. He opened his mouth to answer me but I didn't give him the chance. We made eye contact and I swear his eyes narrowed in confusion. He hadn't expected this. I stopped inches from him and got ready to tell him everything I'd been thinking about that afternoon.

"How come you say you want to talk and then you disappear? You know what that reminds me of?" I poked him in the chest. I. poked. him. I almost expected him to raise a hand to ward me off, but he stayed motionless, just watching me.

"It reminds me of the time a week ago when I needed you and really needed to talk to you and you turned your back on me! You did the same thing you did today, you just up and left. And then you turn around and accuse _me_ of not telling you??" My volume was still rising and I could practically see Ranger shut down, but I had to concentrate on not screaming, I couldn't calm down completely. The words were coming out of me before I would filter them in any way, I hardly gave myself time to breathe, I was going at a mile a minute.

"Do you have any idea how happy I was to see you? Do you even know how much I missed you and needed you? Did you ever stop to think that I needed you? Did you ask?" I took a step back, hands on hips, glaring at him.

"Nooo, you didn't ask. You decided you needed to 'distance' yourself from me." I was flailing my arms and jerked back when Ranger reached for me.

"This is _your_ fault." This time my finger just pointed but I didn't poke him. "All of it! If your head wasn't so far up your ass, you may even notice what's going on around you every now and then!"

I took a deep breath, but there was no calming me down. I had to let it all out. I was proud of myself for not throwing a temper tantrum. My voice was raised, but I wasn't screaming. It didn't even matter to me that I was exaggerating, I was on a roll.

I searched Ranger's eyes, but they were blank like the rest of his face, there was no knowing what he was thinking. He'd crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall behind him.

I knew time was running out, if I wanted to get everything off my chest, I had to do it before he stonewalled me completely.

"I was waiting for you all day, just to talk to you, and now…" Ranger looked like he was thinking about responding so I held up a stopping hand. "Don't interrupt me! You've had your turn. As a matter of fact, you've been doing all the talking and all the deciding lately and I can't get a word in edgewise. So I know that if I stop talking now, you're gonna take over again."

I thought I saw a sparkle in his eye and the corners of his mouth quirked up. Was I amusing him?? Did he have the audacity to make fun of me? That son of a bitch.

I gasped and my eyes probably looked like they were ready to pop out of my skull. "You think this is funny? I don't have _secrets_, Ranger. You only know what you choose to have time for. I would have told you everything if you had given me the time of day! If, for one moment," I held up my index finger for emphasis, "you'd considered I needed your _help_, not your protection! I am not a damsel in distress, I am your friend!"

My idea had been to grab my shoulder bag at that and leave Ranger standing in my dust as I rushed out the door. But when I bent down to pick up my purse, I felt bile rise in my throat and my stomach clenched painfully.

I clamped a hand to my mouth and managed to half run, half stumble to the bathroom and avoided making a mess on Ranger's plush carpets.

Ranger came into the bathroom just as I was rinsing my mouth and without a word, he picked me up and carried me out. Had he even heard a word I'd told him? Did he have anything to say?

The nausea was slowly subsiding after the barfing and when Ranger put me on his bed, I didn't think 'rest'.

"Stay here. You move one muscle, I'll restrain you."

My hormones chose that moment to override my pride and anger. He hadn't just said it, he'd growled it. Probably I should have told him that caveman-macho shit didn't work for me, but that would have been a lie.

He jogged out of the bedroom and what just happened hit me: Once again, we were interrupted.

I grunted in frustration and hit the pillow next to me. Were we doomed never to have a decent conversation? I felt somewhat better for venting my anger. I could do the calm and mature talking for a bit, but I felt better when I didn't have to control my volume.

Then the room started spinning. I was lying on my back on Ranger's bed, and it felt like I was on a boat in high seas.

My stomach was quiet for now, but I was worried it would complain again next so I slowly sat up, thinking slow might work. I was sure Ranger didn't mean I couldn't get up to get a bucket.

I didn't get that far though, after it had taken me a few minutes to just get into a sitting position, the bedroom door burst open and Ranger all but shoved Dr. Mahoney at the bed.

Damn. Ranger had gotten a doctor. True, it was better than hauling me to a hospital, but still, he knew I hated all things medical.

"Tell me what's wrong with her," Ranger told Dr. Mahoney, "Do not take her word for it if you ask her questions."

I stuck my tongue out at him and lifted my head. "Dr. Mahoney, I…"

"I think it's about time we switched to John, don't you? I see you more than any of my other patients." He grinned, took out a notepad and pen and shook my hand.

"Now what's this vomiting about?" John ran his fingers over my neck and my lymph nods and did some prodding.

"Any chance you're pregnant?" I heard Ranger suck in air sharply and bells started clanging in my head.

Yes, technically, there was a chance.

Dr. Mahoney leaned forward and I was able to see Ranger behind him, standing in the doorway. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

I focused back on Dr. Mahoney and slowly shook my head, still trying to do the math. "I don't think so..."

John nodded and took my temperature. "Any other symptoms besides the vomiting?" He shined a penlight into my eyes. "Any dizziness? Shortness of breath? Chest pain?"

"The room is spinning," I admitted.

"Hm," he said in that tone doctors have that left every possibility open. He took an instrument out of his black leather back and turned my head to look into my ears.

"Any pain?" He asked.

"No."

"Hmmm." The other ear.

Then he leaned back and made some notes. "It looks like an inner ear infection," he said, not looking up from writing.

I remembered ear infections from my childhood. "There's no pain," I pointed out.

John nodded and looked up. "That's because the infection is not in your middle ear where you have pain receptors. I'm writing you a prescription for an antibiotic; you should feel better in a couple days. If not, call me."

"I feel better _now_," I said and thought about getting up to demonstrate. But the room hadn't stopped spinning and I wasn't sure that was a good sign.

Plus, if a doctor said it was an ear infection, it was an ear infection. I liked that option much more than the other. Antibiotics I could handle, diapers I wasn't so sure about. And who am I to argue with a doctor?

"Fine," I relented and sank back onto the bed. I could feel Ranger's eyes on me with even though I was staring at the ceiling.

Ranger escorted John out after I'd thanked him and came back a couple minutes later.

"Can I say something?" he asked and I looked at him to find out if he was making fun of me. He looked absolutely serious. He sat down on the side of the bed and grabbed an afghan off the end to cover me.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I was an ass." He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and let his hand linger. "You were right, I didn't listen. But I'm listening now."

The heat from his hand seeped into me and I felt warm for the first time that day. I had tears in my eyes, but this time they were brought on by Ranger's total sincerity.

"Do you want to talk now?" he asked, then he scooted off the bed, took his boots off and lay down next to me.

His arm snaked around my waist and he pulled me towards him until we made two perfect spoons.

"Not right now," I admitted. I was emotionally spent from the yelling earlier and physically exhausted from the Ralph attack.

"Ella is getting your script filled. Do you want to stay here tonight?" His finger had started drawing circles on my shirt over my stomach and was slowly inching south.

On the other hand..."Do you really want to listen?"  
"Babe, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, and you know it. I did a lot of thinking today…"

I smiled. "That's what took you so long?"  
He chuckled and his breath tickled the skin under my ear as he squeezed me tighter for a beat. "I had a _lot_ to think about…"

"And you would do anything to help me?" I had an idea. It was wrong, it was mean, but I couldn't help it. Ranger hadn't said he'd changed his mind during his soul searching, but so far, it looked good. Still though, I wouldn't be me if I just forgave and forgot. And what if this was just temporary, until I felt better? A little payback couldn't hurt.

"If I asked you to do something for me and it would solve all my problems, would you do it?"

Ranger kissed the shell of my ear. "Anything."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I owe Harry the Hammer a favor."

"Babe."

He covered my left hand with his and I turned around to face him, biting my cheek to keep a straight face.

"I need you to seduce Joyce so that she is ruined for all other men, including Vinnie."

TBC

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A/N: Well there you have it, just a simple ear infection. Hehehehe. Since Ranger said he would do anything for her, is he going to help Steph? Or is he going to go all Meat Loaf "But I won't do that"? Let me know what _you_ think! 


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

Thank you verymuch for all your great reviews, I love them!!

A specail thank you for Stayce for editing, ass-kickin' and pep-talking!

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 15

Ranger paused, his eyes searching mine. He didn't blink for a full minute, but then I couldn't help the grin that spread over my face.

"Not funny," he said and tried to pull me close again. Not exactly the reaction I'd hoped for, but I thought I at least had him hesitate for a bit. It was silly to expect him to run away screaming like a girl, after all.

I put my hand on his chest. "I wasn't kidding…." He must have heard something in my voice, because he immediately became serious. "I really do owe Harry the Hammer a favor."

He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck, Stephanie. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought we went over this," I said and tried to get up but he held me back by my arm.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, pulling me towards him. Bastard, he knew an 'I'm sorry' from him melts me into a puddle.

"I really did listen," he tried to convince me as he nuzzled my shoulder. He pulled me back onto the mattress with him and ran his hands up my arms.

"I wanted to tell you," I said, and I couldn't help it, now I needed to talk. Ranger's hands were on me and he was clearly feeling friendly and I wanted to talk. Ungh!

I pulled myself free and sat up. "I wanted to tell you right away, but you were on your mission."

Ranger was still on his back and raised an eyebrow, "You made a deal with Harry while I was away?"

"Well, no," I bit my lower lip. "I made the deal a while ago, but he only called last week to call in his marker."

The almost-smile disappeared from his face and he sat up. "How long ago?"

Shit. I couldn't lie now, I'd only make it worse. But if I told him the truth he'd be pissed. For the first time, I almost wished I had to throw up right that second.

My distraction skills are pretty well honed, having grown up in the Burg and all. Unfortunately, none of them work on Ranger. "A while ago," I tried.

Ranger reached out and put his hand under my chin, lifting it up until I couldn't avoid looking up. "Before I went away?"

I swallowed and closed my eyes. "Six months ago," I all but whispered and Ranger's hand dropped to my collarbone.

"You thought asking me to do Joyce would distract me enough to not ask questions?"

I bit my lip again and for a moment contemplated nodding and lighten the mood with a 'gotcha' or something, but then I opened my eyes and met his. His face didn't give away whether he was about to smile or yell. "No, that part is true. That's my end of the bargain, to get Joyce away from Vinnie."

Ranger pulled his hand from me and ran it over his chin, obviously trying to stay calm. I thought he was doing a good job, if I'd just found out he had been keeping something from me for six months, I would have freaked. But then, that's me. For all I knew, Ranger could be freaking on the inside.  
At any rate, I decided to wait for him to speak. He took a deep breath and I fought the urge to squirm. You could have cut the tension between us with a knife. I wondered why I'd decided it was a good time to talk, I could probably be enjoying a Ranger-induced orgasm by now.

"What was his end?" Ranger finally asked.

Oh thank God! No 'how could you keep this from me', no 'I can't understand you', an easy question.

"He let me have his suite at the Taj Mahal," I said and ran my tongue over my suddenly dry lips.

"That was it?" he asked and raised an eyebrow, his eyes never leaving mine. I nodded.

"He never called you before last week?" I shook my head 'no'.

"So what you're saying is," he took my hand in his and gently pulled me towards him, "if we'd talked about this sooner, we could've avoided a lot of…stress?" He lay back down and linked his hands behind my back.

I rested my head on his chest and nodded. "Basically."

"So what were you thinking about all day?" I asked, trying to change the subject and find out why he'd let me wait at the same time.

I felt more than heard Ranger chuckle and enjoyed the sensation of his chest moving up and down under my head. "Nice try. I want to know more about this deal."

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see it. "I just told you," I said and splayed my hands on his chest, feeling his toned muscles under his shirt.

Ranger did his version of a sigh. "I'm gonna give you until you're feeling better, but sooner or later, you're gonna have to tell me."

I looked up, "I was gonna…"

Ranger put his index finger over my mouth. "Shh, I know. But now I'm listening and now I want to know it all, okay?"

I opened my mouth and closed my lips over his finger, sucking it gently. Immediately, Ranger's expression softened. "Not playing fair, Babe," he whispered and pulled his finger out to replace it with his mouth.

The kiss was soft, tender, not growing into more. And it was the sweetest kiss, because it felt like a promise. When he'd kissed me earlier, it was with a 'I can't help it' passion. Now his kiss felt like he was saying 'I'm home'. For the first time, I allowed myself to hope he'd finally come to his senses.

Ranger broke the kiss and rested his chin on my head. I wanted to ask him, I needed to find out where we stood, but I didnt' want to break this peaceful moment.

What if he just told me that he was holding me because he thought I was sick? What if he said that he'd be back to keeping his distance as soon as Dr. Mahoney declared me healthy? If that were to happen, I wanted to postpone it as long as possible.

"Tell me what you were thinking about first," I bargained.

I could feel him smile against my hair and wrapped my arm around him. With my head against his chest, I could feel his heart beat. He was fully dressed, but I could feel the warmth of his skin seep through his clothes into me. I closed my eyes to freeze the moment, still not daring to hope. I knew I was behaving like the world's biggest sap, and I didn't care.

Ranger ran his hand through my hair, his fingertips gently massaging, starting tiny explosions that sent heat through my entire body.

"I went to your apartment first," he said, tucking a curl behind my ear and running his fingers down my neck. "When you weren't there I called Bobby to get your status. So I thought I'd wait for you."

"You weren't there when I got back at one."

I felt his head shake as he ran his fingertips over my shoulder. "I was only there for an hour. Then I drove."

I lifted my head to see his face. He put one hand under his head and looked straight up at the ceiling. "You mean you drove here?" I asked.

He shook his head slightly. "No. I drove. It's what I do when I need to think."

That made perfect sense, given that he always went into his zone when driving. It just hadn't come up before, I would have pictured Ranger to be the brooding in a dark room kind of guy.

"Where'd you go?"

The corners of his mouth quirked up in an almost smile. "I was almost in Connecticut. I told you, I had a _lot_ to think about."

I propped myself up on my elbow, just watching Ranger and listening to him. This was it, I thought, here it comes. I tried to tell myself that no matter, what I'd love him and he'd love me, but there was no consolation there.

Ranger took a deep breath and absently stroked my upper arm before he sat up and scooted off the bed. He was pacing in front of me before I really knew what was going on. Batman and his sonic speed.

"I think I was wrong," he said, stopping to look at me. For Ranger, this was huge. Ranger prides himself on thinking everything over, reaching a decision only after careful consideration, so it's not cockiness when he thinks he's usually right. This was the first time I'd ever heard him admit to being wrong. My breath caught in my throat.

"I thought if I just stayed out of your life, you'd be safe. It turns out you would be safe … from me, except I can't manage to stay out of your life." He ran a hand through his hair. "And on top of that, I can't protect you when I'm keeping my distance."

The flutter of hope in my stomach felt like a swarm of butterflies. I hadn't imagined it, he had changed his mind! That was what he was saying, right? I really tried to listen but I had to know for sure. And I thought it best to go with a tease to lighten the mood a little. Mostly because I didn't know how to express what I felt.

"You mean you want me to take you back?" I asked and sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed.

He smiled his full-on smile, the one that lit up his entire face and crouched down in front of me.

"In a nutshell," he said softly and pulled me close, burying his face in my stomach.

I wrapped my arms around him. I wanted nothing more than to just go back to where we'd been. But at the same time, I knew I never wanted to go through this again, I had to make absolutely sure he meant it. "That seems a little sudden…" I cautioned.

He nodded, his head in my lap. "I know. What you said earlier? That's about what I was thinking. I was an ass. I hurt you. I'm sorry." And he hugged me tighter.

Okay, so now he was saying exactly what I wanted him to say, so why was I still suspicious? It was too sudden. But Ranger would never lie to me, he was just not known for changing his mind.

I bent down and kissed his head, deeply inhaling his scent, a scent that would always make me feel safe for some reason. Ranger wouldn't say he changed his mind just to make me feel better.

So that left the question what exactly had changed his mind?

"And all you did was drive and think?"

Ranger pulled back until he sat on his haunches and his arms lay on my thighs. "Am I missing something? I thought this is what you wanted."

I smiled. It must have been the first time I would have described his expression as 'puzzled'.

"Of course it's what I want," I assured him. "It's just kind of sudden, after a few hours of driving."

The corners of his mouth quirked up. "There may have been some talking, too…"

I knew it! I raised my eyebrows in a silent question.

Ranger blew out some air. "Tank and I had a talk," he finally said and looked down at his hand rubbing my thigh.

"What did he say?"

Ranger looked up and flashed me a smile. "That I was an ass."

I rolled my eyes as I imagined the conversation. I could see Tank having a man-to-man with Ranger, but I could also imagine Ranger confronting him about what he had witnessed in my apartment.

"Did he tell you that you were an ass for thinking you needed to protect me from you or for thinking he was with me?"

Ranger stood up and leaned in to cup my face in his hands. "I didn't want to believe you were with him. I was…"

"Jealous?" I offered. I knew Ranger was convinced he didn't get jealous.

"Maybe," he conceded and kissed me, just a brush of his lips over mine.

"Did he say anything else? I find it hard to believe Tank told you that you were an ass and left it at that."

Ranger took a deep breath, stroking my cheek with his fingers. "He made me realize there was another way. I didn't have to stay away from you to protect you from me, I could work on me, re-condition myself, in a sense."

Now I was curious and raised my eyebrows. "Re-condition?"

"Yeah," Ranger said, chuckling softly. "Like an old dog learning new tricks. Learn that you are a part of my life and that you never trigger a defense reflex."

I let that sink in for a moment. If I understood correctly, he wasn't saying he changed his mind, but he found a solution. Since he'd been afraid to hurt me out of reflex, it sounded like exactly what he needed. Of course, I never felt threatened or in any danger, but it wouldn't do any good to tell Ranger.

"Like an added Steph-safety?" I asked instead, just to make sure I fully understood him.

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, in a way. So what do you think?" he asked, leaning his forehead against mine. "You think you can chalk it up to me fucking up and try again?"

I wanted to scream 'Yes!', but in the back of my mind, I still had doubts. "You think you can learn to not be a danger to me anymore?"

He did his sigh again, pushed me back onto my back and lay down next to me. He took my hand and laced his fingers with mine placing it on my belly. With his hand propped up on one hand, he looked at me for a long minute and our eyes held.

"Are you willing to give us another chance? I'll work on this, I think I can do it. But not without you."

Trust Ranger to sum up so much so easily. Tears were stinging my eyes at the sincerity I saw in his.

I swallowed hard and nodded. "I am," I whispered and pulled his head down with my free hand.

His lips were warm and soft on mine and I fisted my hand in his hair as I my tongue outlined his mouth.

I moaned against his mouth when he parted his lips and our tongues touched. A spark of electricity traveled down to my breasts and made my nipples contract.

Ranger let go of my hand and rolled over, so that I was half covered under him, and he pulled my head towards him as he deepened the kiss.

I ran my hand down his face, drowning in the kiss.

When a cell phone rang in the distance, I half expected Ranger to pull away, but if he heard it, he didn't let it show. His hand snuck under my shirt and cupped my breast.

I shivered and arched against his hand, letting my own hand wander down his chest to work on his shirt. I had this urgent need to feel his skin.

Ranger pulled away long enough to lock eyes with me, and I could read the desire in his before he pulled his shirt over his head.

Immediately, I splayed my hand on his chest, moaning at the sensation I thought I'd never feel again.

Ranger pulled my shirt up until he pulled away and freed me from it in one swift movement, a moment later my bra was gone.

"Not wasting any time, are you?" I asked breathlessly and he smiled at me as he lowered his head to my breast.

"I've wasted too much already," he said and ran his tongue over my pebbled nipple, making me shiver. He placed open mouthed kisses between my breasts, on his way to give my other nipple the same kind of attention, and my skin was on fire.

He ran his hand down my neck and let it take over as his mouth wandered up to claim mine once again. Without breaking the kiss, he rolled himself on top of me, parting my legs with his knee, balancing his weight on his elbows. His tongue darted forward and he thoroughly explored my mouth, our tongues dancing with one another. The kiss seemed endless, each of us angling our heads to deepen it, explore further. I snaked my arms around his neck, pulling him closer against me.

Ranger lifted his hips up a little and let his hand move down my chest to my hips, expertly popping the button and sliding down the zipper, then his hand slid lower and I moaned into his mouth when his fingers touched _that_ spot.

He broke the kiss and watched my reaction to his hand. Desire washed over me hot and demanding and I lifted my hips to get rid of my pants. Ranger pushed them down for me, hooking his thumb in my panties to pull them down in the same swoop.

Before he could lie back down, I grabbed his belt and loosened it, Ranger got the hint and pushed his pants down impatiently. Since he was going commando, the action freed his already massive erection and I licked my lips at the sight of it.

I gasped when he lowered himself to the bed again and I finally felt him on me _everywhere_, no annoying fabric between us.

His hands were exploring as if he hadn't touched me in months, stroking and caressing, kneading and petting, and I writhed under them as my own hands did the same to his body. He settled himself between my thighs, feathering kisses up my jaw and down my neck, lingering at the juncture to my shoulder, laving my skin until I shuddered under him.

I knew I wouldn't last long, and I certainly didn't need much in the way of foreplay. Looking at Ranger excited me, being touched my him set me on fire, being skin to skin with him had me close to imploding.

His mouth went lower to my collarbones and the swell of my breasts, suckling and biting gently, and I arched my hips into his.

"Not yet," he breathed against my skin. "I've missed this for too long."

"So have I," I complained, my voice almost a whine. "And I can't wait any longer."  
"What are you waiting for exactly?" Ranger asked as he lifted his head and met my eyes. "This?" He dipped a finger into my folds and I gasped.

"Or this?" He started moving his finger inside me and the tightly coiled desire exploded in my belly.

"Yes, yes, all of it," I managed to press out, needing to feel him more than I could remember ever needing him.

I could feel Ranger's smile against my skin as his mouth wandered down over my stomach. I whimpered when he removed his finger, I was _so_ close. He swirled his tongue around my navel and I contemplated begging.

I was now sobbing with need and my eyes were squeezed shut. A small scream escaped me when I felt his tongue between my legs and I pushed my hips against it.

Ranger used his hands to hold my hips on the mattress as he began to explore with his tongue, dipping in and out of my folds, swirling it. When he sucked on my clit I came so hard, fireworks were exploding behind my closed lids and I could have sworn I was airborne.

It felt like I was regaining consciousness when I slowly opened my eyes and met Ranger's. He smiled as he grazed my hips with his teeth and took his time working his way upwards again.

I fisted my hands in his hair, trying to push my pelvis against him, but he wouldn't have it. He pushed me into the mattress with his free hand and French-kissed my navel.

Heat started pooling in my core again and I was panting. I tried to pull him up to me and this time, I could feel Ranger chuckle against my skin.

"Ranger, please, I need you," I begged and tried to move against him one more time. "I need you inside me _now_."

He growled low in his throat and claimed my mouth with his, our tongues dueling until I felt like I was going to explode. I threw my head back and screamed as Ranger suddenly plunged into me, burying himself in me to the hilt.

I wrapped my legs around his waist while he held perfectly still for a moment, giving me time to adjust to his size.

"Look at me," he said breathlessly, using his hand to turn my face towards him. His eyes never left mine as he slowly pulled back, only to thrust into me again. I rocked my hips against him, adjusting to his rhythm.

I tried to hold his eyes, but as he thrust into me again and again, I could feel the tidal wave of another climax arriving and I dug my nails into his back as I arched off the bed and clung to him, screaming his name.

"Dios," Ranger exclaimed close to my ear when I slowly came down, and he picked up his rhythm again. Within moments, I was whimpering, begging him for release and as he pounded into me again and again and again, we were climbing together. I could feel Ranger's ragged breath on my skin whenever he released my mouth, and his entire body shivering against me as he thrust into me one final time with my name on his lips and such a force that I hit that spot between pleasure and pain that seems so unbearable until you get to the other side and I sobbed with pleasure.

We clung to each other for the longest time afterwards, waiting for our heart rates to return to normal and our breathing to allow us to talk. I felt Ranger's heart beat against me, as if we were one, and I wanted to freeze this moment forever.

At that moment, I was happy. I was sure Heaven itself couldn't feel better.

I don't know if I passed out for a minute, or if it just took some time for all my senses to return, but when I opened my eyes, Ranger was nuzzling my neck. He was balancing his weight on his elbows on either side of my head and he was still buried deep inside me. As far as I was concerned, we never had to move again.

"I love you," He whispered when he locked eyes with me, then he lowered his head and claimed my mouth in a tender, gentle, passionate kiss that made my insides melt all over again.

I had butterflies in my stomach, these three words out of his mouth would never become ordinary for me.

"I love you too," I said when the kiss broke. He looked down at me and I drank in the sight of him so close to me and the only thought in my head was 'mine'.

I shuddered when he rolled away from me, suddenly feeling incomplete. But he brought me with him so that as he came to lie on his back, I lay over his chest.

Ranger's steady heartbeat under me and the completely relaxed state my body was in almost lulled me into sleep, until I could feel Ranger stir under me.

He kissed my temple as he gently lifted me off of him and onto the pillow. All I could muster by way of protest was a weal whimper.

"Get some rest, Babe. I'll be back as soon as I can," he whispered into my ear, lightly kissing the shell as he slowly drew away.

I vaguely remembered that it wasn't all that late yet and that he probably had to go back to work, but I clung to his promise that he'd be back and smiled without opening my eyes.

I heard him pull his clothes back on but I was asleep before he left the bedroom.

When I woke up again, the room around me was completely dark, and yet I immediately knew where I was and what had woken me.

Ranger slid in next to me and gathered me into his arms. He kissed the top of my head and I looked up. I could barely see his face in the dark, but I could sense that he was smiling.

"Welcome back," I whispered. I noticed he'd slipped into bed naked and smiled.

"I never left," he said, shifting so that he could brush his lips over mine. "I went back to work, but my mind stayed here with you. You're the one that's dangerous for me."

"Don't ever doubt it," I said and slid my leg over his, propping myself up until I was straddling him. "And I'm ready for some more makeup sex."

I had no idea what time it was, and I didn't care. I wasn't dizzy and I didn't feel nauseous and the man I loved was trapped under me. I'd be damned if I didn't take advantage of the situation.

I could see Ranger's teeth sparkle white as his mouth split into a grin and his hands settled on my hips.

"Funny, that's just what I was thinking."

We made love until the grey light of dawn crept through the blinds and we lay totally spent and slack-limbed in each other's arms, and if I hadn't known before, I was now absolutely sure sex with Ranger would never be routine or even boring. I had lost count of the number of orgasms I had during the night and I had a feeling I'd be wearing a stupid 'just fucked' grin for days, and that's how long I'd be limping too.

Ranger's breathing became even and for the first time, he fell asleep before me, so I got to watch him sleep as the light slowly filled the room, and I couldn't remember ever feeling happier.

The next morning was the complete opposite of the last morning I'd spent at Ranger's apartment.

Ranger pulled me into his lap when I got back from getting some peanut butter from the kitchen and proceeded to feed me breakfast.

I was just licking cream cheese off his finger when he became serious again. "So we're good?" he asked.

I nodded. "We're better than good."

"You still want me to ruin Joyce for all other men?" He winked.

"I'd beat her and you to death with a shovel if you so much as touch her," I declared and planted my lips on his mouth for a cream cheese kiss. I could feel him smile against my mouth.

"That's settled then," he said when I released him.

"And speaking of settled," I said, refilling our coffee cups. "You never said there were any more threats, am I cleared to go out without baby sitters?"

"I prefer to think of them as bodyguards," Ranger said and took a sip of his coffee.

I tried to glare at him but couldn't quite pull it off, I was too happy. "You didn't answer my question."

He rolled his eyes in a way that would have made any Burg girl proud and pulled me closer. "If I had my way, you'd never go unprotected. But no, we haven't heard anything."

"Good," I said, ignoring his other comment. "'Cause I have a ton of skips I need to locate and apprehend."

"Just be careful," Ranger said. "And always carry."

"Yes Daddy," I promised, and now it was Ranger's turn to pretend to glare at me.

"Don't make me hurt you," he warned and pinched my ass. I squeaked and tried to jump off of his lap, but he held me tight.

"Are you taking today off to make sure I behave?" It was already past nine and I had hopes of spending the whole day with Ranger. My skips weren't all that important anyway, it only mattered to me that I _could_ go after them if I wanted to.

Ranger blew out a breath and nuzzled my neck. "Wish I could. I have a meeting downtown." He looked up at me. "Oh, look at that pout."

I knew I wasn't pouting but I enjoyed him running his tongue over my lips just the same. I locked my hands behind his head and drew him closer to me.

Before the kiss could reignite some of the fires from the night before, Ranger put his hands on my forearms and pulled away.  
"And I have to get ready for it now or else I never leave."

"Tell me the bad news," I teased but slid off his lap. With a lost kiss into my hair, he disappeared into the bedroom. I wondered if I should keep him company in the shower, but decided against it when every muscle protested as I was reaching for another bagel. Maybe I needed just a little rest.

Ranger reappeared, dressed in a charcoal black suit, his hair still wet from the shower. I ran my eyes over him and licked my lips as I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Hurry home," I whispered, brushing my lips over his. He pulled me closer with a low growl and took control of the kiss, plunging his tongue between my lips and stroking my tongue with his until I moaned into his mouth.

I could feel the effect the kiss had on him press into my abdomen, his hands were holding me flush against him.

He pulled away with an almost sigh and touched his forehead to mine. "You make me want to be late, babe."

I smiled. "Can't have that. Batman late must be one of the signs of the apocalypse."

"Wiseass," he said with a smile of his own and released me. "Promise me you'll be careful? I've got a car for you in the garage. Just say the word and I have one of my men come with you."

"I promise," I said and meant it.

"Call me if you need anything," he said and gave me a goodbye kiss, no tongue and no hands.

"You know I will."

I sighed as I watched him leave in his obviously tailored suit, the pants just tight enough to hug all his…assets, and yet loose enough to be fashionable. He turned just before he opened the door and caught my stare.

"Hold that thought until tonight," he said and winked before he opened the door and left.

Once I'd cleared away the breakfast dishes I realized I couldn't procrastinate any longer and got myself into the bathroom for a shower.

The hot water helped my soreness a lot and a half hour later, I was washed and shaved and exfoliated and ready to start the day. All I had to do was get to my desk a few flights down and start collecting info on my skips. Piece of cake, really.

That little nagging voice in my head spoke up and said things were too perfect, something was about to go wrong, but I told it to stop being such a pessimist and shut the fuck up.

TBC

* * *

A/N: So now you probably think all is well in Plum-Land, huh? 


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, I really appreciate it and I apologoze if I didn't thank you individually.

Muchas, muchas gracias to Stayce for always helping me no matter what time it is, no matter how much I bug!

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 16

Ella had deposited the medication Dr. Mahoney had prescribed on the kitchen counter. I didn't really feel dizzy or nauseous anymore, but I figured they couldn't hurt, so I took a pill and washed it down with some water before I grabbed my shoulder bag and left Ranger's apartment. Maybe the whole thing had been my imagination, like my body had reacted to my emotional stress or something. I decided not to think too much about it, because probably that could bring it back.

Instead of going straight to my desk, I decided to go down to the garage first. He'd mentioned it so casually that there was a new car for me, I forgot to ask him about the details. I told myself I was going to the gun range, but really, I wanted to find out what new company car Ranger had assigned to me.

My car karma hadn't been too bad lately, I'd driven the black Explorer for months, half a year almost, a new record for me.

I knew it would be easy to find 'my' new car. We all had key rings with our names on them. Usually, they were only on the board outside the control room when we were 'between' cars or out on vacation (or the hospital), and the cars were technically available.

Today, there was only one set of keys. Some smartass had attached the label 'Bombshell' instead of my name, and I had a good idea that smartass had shared a bed with me the night before. I grimaced and grabbed the keys, then went down to the ground floor.

When I stepped out of the elevator, I pressed the keyless entry button and followed the 'beepbeep'. I knew it was going to be black, I didn't know my new company car was going to be an H3. I smiled. A long time ago, Ranger had told me I was more the HumVee kind of person, and obviously, he'd remembered it, too.

I hoisted myself up into the driver seat and ran my hands over the steering wheel. The Hummer had that nice new car smell and I closed my eyes and inhaled. I knew it wasn't my car, per se, but I'd be the only one driving it and I was allowed to drive it for personal use. Plus, I didn't have any other car, so, really, this _was_ my new car.

The car phone rang and I almost jumped in surprise. What car has a car phone nowadays?

"How do you like it?" Ranger asked when I picked up.

I smiled. "I love it."

"They guys told me you were downstairs, I tried your cell first. I figured you'd be in your new car by now."

"Is that why it has a phone?" I teased him. I could feel him smile on the other end. It was sort of a private joke between us, Ranger often tried to call when my cell phone's battery was dead or I didn't have the phone with me. He once suggested buying me a chain so I could wear it around my neck at all times. I think that was a joke though.

"Car phones have better reception," Ranger just said. "I have to go, I'm still in the meeting, just wanted to make sure you're okay."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I'm okay!"

"You could go to the gun range while you down there…" Ranger suggested and disconnected.

He had a point there, I hadn't practiced in a while, and I was down here already, so I reluctantly left the Hummer and took off for the gun range.

As usual, I felt very bad-ass and somewhat satisfied after firing round after round at some paper guy. It wasn't as much fun alone as it was with Ranger or one of the Merry Men, because it was always fun to watch them cringe when seeing that I shot my paper man's crotch out.

I grabbed a box of ammo on my way out and finally headed up to the control room and my desk. I figured in addition to locating my skips, I also had a ton of searches to run, since I hadn't been in the office in a couple days.

Lester got up as soon as he saw me and pulled me into a bear hug, Junior waved from the monitors and for a minute, the whole control room erupted in a 'Welcome back' cheer as if I'd been gone for months, not days. It felt like coming home.

"Long time no see," Lester said as he put his head on my shoulder still holding me tight.

"You saw me two days ago," I informed him laughing.

"Yeah, but that wouldn't give an excuse to cop a feel now, would it?" He pulled away and waggled his eyebrows at me.

"How's your arm?" I asked before he said something that would make me blush.

"Much better," he said touching the bandage on his arm. "I should be back on active duty by next week. I can't wait!"

That made me feel a lot better since I still sort of blamed myself for him getting shot. "What's the matter, you don't like the office?" I joked as I turned towards the break room. Everybody at RangeMan knew Lester needed to move constantly, that he felt like a caged animal at a desk.

"Yeah Santos, something wrong with the office?" Bobby chimed in, having heard the tail end of the conversation when he entered the control room. Lester flipped us both off and sat back down, Bobby followed me into the break room.

I got a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter. "Something wrong?"

Bobby scoffed, pretending to be offended. "Can't I just be happy you're back and decide to have a cup of coffee with you?"

"My life is never that easy," I said and did an exaggerated sigh.

He poured himself a cup and turned to me. "Actually, I have good news. Or in this case, no news, which is good news, because we haven't heard anything from or about your friends DalBo and Guzzarella in days." He grinned. "So all is quiet on the Western front and we no longer need to shadow you."

He leaned down. "Unless you want to be shadowed. In that case, I'd be happy to follow you to the ends of the world." His grin got wider as he winked at me.

"You know, I am actually able to take care of myself at times," I said and attempted a pout. I couldn't pull it off and we both started laughing.

"Okay," I admitted, my hands in the air, surrendering. "But this time I'll be fine. Plus, I have my GPS in the car, and one in my purse. You'll know where I am at all times."

"Just the way I like it," Bobby smiled and punched me in the shoulder. I rolled my eyes and left the kitchen. I laughed about it, but I was actually a little choked up by how much 'my boys' cared. As often as they displayed it, I'd still never get used to it.

As soon as I sat down in my cube though, the 'good times' were over. Search requests had been piling up, my inbox was overflowing. I sighed and decided to do a few of them before I started the search for my own skips.

"Holler if you need help," Lester yelled over from his desk.

"Be careful what you offer," I said on a sigh and got started.

By noon, I had worked off half of the search requests and took a break to grab a sandwich and some water. Ranger still hadn't returned from his meeting, I would have heard it because the control room always goes quiet when he's around. 'Officer on deck', as Lester calls it.

I hadn't seen Tank either, so I figured he was with Ranger. Of course I could always just ask or try and call Ranger, but I'd talked to Ranger a few hours ago and he'd sounded fine, not like this meeting he was at was anything he hadn't expected. He'd be back when he'd be back, I told myself.

I took my lunch back to my desk and checked my email. After I deleted about a hundred ads for penis enlargement and mortgage refinancing, there were only a few messages left. One caught my eye because I didn't recognize the sender. I almost deleted it as spam, but then my curiosity won out.

'Gr8KissR' was the sender, and the subject was 'Be Aware'.

The message was short, all it said was, 'I'm watching you'. My stomach clenched immediately. I'd thought maybe Gr8KissR was a friend's online name, but my friends knew me too well to consider this message a joke.

Or maybe I was just overreacting. Maybe Mary Lou's husband Lenny thought it was a good way to get my attention. So before I alerted the troops, I wanted to find out for sure. I replied 'Who are you?', thinking that didn't give away that I was scared, just that I was curious.

My email address was on my business card, and really _anyone_ could have sent the message. It was too early too panic, I decided.

With that settled I took care of my other emails and started searching for my skips. In the back of my mind, I wondered if I should mention the email to someone, but I told myself I'd wait until I heard back. If not, it was probably just a prank.

Since Lula and I had tried the FTAs' home addresses and last known work addresses without luck, so I typed their names into one of RangeMan's background check programs and printed out the results. I was going to go visit their parents, best friends and even ex-spouses if I had to! Look out, World, bounty hunter Steph was back!!

I dug out my cell phone and wondered if I should turn it on. If Ranger called and got voicemail, I figured he'd try my desk phone. On the other hand, Harry only had my home and cell number, and he would definitely call. Missing a call from Ranger seemed like the smaller problem, so I left it off and dropped it back into my purse as I logged off my computer and pushed my chair back.

My new SUV had a GPS tracker anyway, RangeMan didn't need my cell phone signal to know where I was, and there was always the car phone, so I was covered.

I grabbed my print outs and put them in order. Tanya Zabitzky was first on my list because she had been last yesterday, I wanted to work the skips off in the opposite order.

So I really thought about the order I wanted to find my skips in for a while because it gave me something to think about besides the email. It was ridiculous to still be thinking about a stupid prank.

I gave everyone a finger wave on my way out and stopped by Lester's desk to tell him about my plans.

"You want me to ride along?" he asked, winking.

"I thought you were still on desk duty."

He sighed and gave me his best puppy dog eyes. "But if I were on Steph duty, the boss wouldn't mind…"

I laughed and slapped his shoulder lightly as I hoisted my bag up and left the control room.

"He wouldn't even know, he's at an offsite meeting," Lester called after me. I waved over my shoulder without looking back, but I was still smiling. Good to know Ranger was still at his meeting.

I took a moment to familiarize myself with the controls in my new car, there were several lights and buttons I didn't recognize and I didn't want to explode it on its first day if I could help it, and then I took off. I realized I half expected another RangeMan car to follow me, that's how used I'd gotten to being shadowed.

It felt like the right thing to do to drive to Tanya's house first, since if she was home, it would save me a lot of time. I had four addresses to check for her parents, her brother, her best friend and her ex-boyfriend, and the latter lived in Philly.

Tanya wasn't home. I looked up her parents' address. Newark. I didnt' want to go to Newark by myself, I needed Lula. And I didn't even have to turn on my cell phone which was off to avoid Harry's calls, I had a car phone.

I sat in my car in front of Tanya Zabitzky's house with the phone in my hand and a funny feeling in my stomach. Not funny-nauseous, funny-weird. I looked around to check if there was anyone watching me, but I couldn't see anyone. Clearly, I was freaking over nothing.

First I called my voicemail to find out if I'd missed any important messages.

"Stephanie, this is your mother…" Oh damn. I really _had_ to call my mom.

I called Lula next.

"Girlfriend, about time you called," she said by way of greeting. "I've been dying to find out how you made out with Batman!"

"Funny you put it that way," I told her. "It's all good. We, uhm, kissed and made up." I knew I didn't have to be more specific for her to get my meaning. I couldn't help smiling at the thought of last night.

"Finally," Lula grunted. "So I get to have my man all to myself again." I could feel her grin and I knew she was kidding.

"Actually, I have Tank to thank for it. I'll tell you all about it. Are you up riding shotgun to chase some skips?"

"Dayum. Wish I could. Raincheck? I've made an appointment at Le Sol Spa and I've been waiting weeks for it."

"Will you be long?" I asked. I could always wait to start my big skip search.

"I sure hope so," Lula said. "I'm getting my hair done. Then I'm gonna get all my nails done, and you know, get smooth for my man from top to bottom. Well, maybe not in that order. But I'll be here all afternoon."

"Okay, raincheck then. Have a good time." I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice, although I didn't know if I was disappointed because Lula couldn't join me or because I couldn't join her.

"And don't forget you owe me the details," she reminded me and we disconnected.

Of course I could take Lester up on his offer, or ask any other Merry Man to ride shotgun for that matter, but I was afraid it would make me look weak. I'd been protesting for so long that I could do my job on my own, here was an opportunity to prove it. Besides, I didn't know if Lester had been telling the truth when he said riding with me would be acceptable.

I mentally rolled my eyes at myself. What the hell was I doing? I'd been a bounty hunter for years now and in the beginning, I always did everything myself. And now I needed company to drive to Newark!

'Get a grip,' I told myself and started the car. Maybe I'd learn to find my zone on the drive, like Ranger. Now I knew what he was doing when his mind seemed to be on another planet, and I wished I could put time in the car to good use like that. Mostly, I spent my time finding the right music on the radio and flipping off other drivers. Hardly productive, but very entertaining.

I looked the parents' street up in my road atlas and got on my way. I'd call my mom from Newark, I decided. Then I could pick up Bob and mooch dinner at the same time.

I got on Route 1 and 'I Got You Babe' played on the radio. That song always reminds me of Ranger and I smiled at the memory of the night before. The last 24 hours had turned my life around yet again. If I stopped to think about the ups and downs, I'd probably get dizzy again.

After a couple wrong turns, I found Tanya Zabitzky's parents' house. It was a white clapboard on the outskirts of Newark proper, the Garden State's compost heap, as some people called it. The neighborhood seemed blue collar middle class, properties were small and trees had matured, cars were medium-sized.

I did a drive-by first to see if I could spot Tanya's car, but no such luck. I turned and parked directly in front of number 238.

A long melody played when I pushed the door bell, and in hindsight, it was a sign of things to come.

A woman dressed in a light pink chiffon nightgown answered a minute later. Maybe nightgown wasn't right, it was more of a negligee. She had her brown hair in an elaborate updo, and the material of the negligee left little to the imagination. I figured she was just this side of legal, both in age and attire.

"Help you?" she asked as she popped her bubble gum. I cleared my throat and glanced at the file in my hand.

"I'm looking for Mr. or Mrs. Zabitzky?"

She nodded and turned, leaving me standing at the open door. "Caaaandy! It's for you," she yelled as she treated me to a view of her toned backside.

'Damn,' I thought, 'I should work out more.' I was suddenly glad Lester hadn't come along, he'd be drooling at this point.

The file said Tanya's parents' names were Douglas and Marie, but when the woman showed up moments later, I easily guessed Candy wasn't her real name.

She looked to be in her late forties, her hair dyed candy-apple red, her lips and nails painted in the same color. She wore skin-tight leather pants and a black leather bustier that looked painful as it tried to hold back her D-cup breasts and slight belly. I couldn't help comparing her to Joyce Barnhardt, the woman could have been her much older sister, except Joyce usually gunked her eyelashes up even more than Candy.

"You here for the job?" she asked me in a 2-packs-a day voice as she looked me up and down slowly.

After seeing the girl who'd answered the door and her, I had a pretty good idea what said job would be, so I quickly shook my head. "No, I'm here to talk to Tanya's parents."

She looked around as if to make sure no one had heard me. "What's she done _now_?" she stage-whispered.

So I'd been right, I was looking at Tanya's mother. I'd seen Tanya's picture in the file Connie had given me and I'd gotten the impression Tanya was a step above trailer trash. If the woman in front of me had been her role model, she'd actually come pretty far.

She took a step back and waved me in. "Doesn't do my image any good if customers know I have an adult daughter," she explained. I wasn't so sure Tanya would want people to know this was her mother either.

"What exactly _is_ your image?" I couldn't help it, I was curious.

"Candy's Close Encounters," she said immediately. "I run a…an escort service."

Translation: She was a madam. I knew right then she wouldn't help me find Tanya, but I had another idea.

"Do you do kinky?"

Candy didn't bat an eye. "Honey, we do everything if you pay the price."

I chewed on my lip thinking. If I got one of Candy's girls over to Vinnie…Harry hadn't mentioned anything about turning Vinnie faithful, he'd just asked to get him away from Joyce. I knew it was cheating but I had a feeling Harry wouldn't hold it against me and consider our deal done.

"Do you charge by the hour?"

Candy raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure you have the right idea 'bout Tanya…"

I rolled my eyes and laughed. I could see how Candy was confused, so I hurried to explain that my question and my search for Tanya weren't related. Then I hurried to explain I wasn't asking for me but for a 'friend'. I'm pretty sure I didn't blush too much when I explained what kind of…escort I would need.

Candy gave me the prices and I swallowed. Did men really spend this much money just to get laid? I needed to check my finances before I put in an order.

I gave Candy my card and told her about my reason for ringing her doorbell. She assured me she'd talk to her daughter, but I had a feeling she was just telling me what I wanted to hear as a potential customer.

That was okay, my FTA was suddenly less important than getting my end of the deal with Harry done. When I'd ask Ranger to step in, I only did it to get a rise out of him. I'd kill Joyce and bathe Ranger in Lysol if he ever touched her. But this had potential.

I thanked Candy and she assured me the pleasure had been all hers as I closed the door behind me, wondering if this was their 'base of operations', a brothel disguised as a middle class home. Anything was possible in Newark after all.

I turned my cell phone back on to call Ranger, since I hadn't gotten a chance to tell him I was going to Newark, but I got his voicemail and left a message for him to call me back. Lester hadn't asked me to, but I knew he'd be waiting for me to check in, so I called him next while I unlocked my car and threw my purse on the passenger seat.

"Causing trouble yet?" he answered his phone.

I smiled and I knew he was only half-kidding because more often than not, I called when I was in trouble.

"Everything's okay here," I told him as I got into the car. "Ranger back yet?"

"Lemme check."

I assumed he was checking the GPS for the location of Ranger's car, which meant he hadn't seen him. Since Ranger always checks in with the Control Room when he gets back, I pretty much had my answer.

"He's still downtown," Lester confirmed when he got back. "Anything I can help you with?"

"I told you I didn't need help," I teased him. "Just wondering how long that meeting was that Ranger went to."

"Potential client," Lester said. "Potential _big_ client. They probably do the whole song and dance for them."

I grinned at the mental image Lester's words gave me. I'd never seen Ranger negotiate with clients, I couldn't imagine him schmoozing anyone.

We disconnected and I pointed the car back to the highway. The trip hadn't been a complete waste of time thanks to Candy. But I still needed to find at least one of my FTAs if I wanted to call the day a success. Now I had to figure out if I wanted to follow another lead for Tanya or put her at the end of the list and proceed to the next skip in the pile.

To be honest, my bounty hunting was only half-assed anymore since I received a steady paycheck from RangeMan. I could choose my skips. But I still had to bring them in before the deadline, before Vinnie forfeited the bail money he lent them.

And I've had the files I was working on for a few days now, which meant Vinnie had probably already left messages to get a status report.

It used to be I avoided phone calls from Repo men and credit card companies; now I was dodging calls from a Mafia boss and a bail bondsman.

I sighed and switched the radio to heavy metal, I needed a distraction. That funny feeling in my stomach hadn't gone away and I didn't want to think about what it meant. I usually only felt this way when I was being watched, but I couldn't make out anybody that was following me.

Probably I was just hungry, I decided, and took an exit promising the Golden Arches around the corner. I got my usual value meal with a milk shake and an apple pie at the drive thru and parked, studying the FTA files again while I ate.

I hadn't gotten anywhere with Tanya, and I felt I'd spent enough time on her for the day, so I went on to Mark Wagner. Mark's bond was lower than Tanya's, but then he hadn't held up a Victoria's Secret store at gun point, he'd only driven away from a gas station with a full tank _and _a full wallet, either forgetting to pay or forgetting all gas stations had cameras that monitored the pumps. There was no mention of any weapons on him when he was arrested, so he should be easy. He hadn't been at home the day before, but now I had his ex-wife's address to check out. The fact that her address was in Trenton as well made the decision easier.

Now that I was full _and_ I had a purpose, I felt better.

I knew the way from Newark to Trenton by heart so I had time to think about my plan some more. If Candy's Close Encounters could buy me out of this mess, I was willing to pay. I'd have to talk to Lula, time it right, maybe I could send Joyce running once and for all if she happened to walk in on Vinnie and one of Candy's girls. I also needed Lula to give me some advice as to how to talk to Candy, there were probably some inside tricks when negotiating turning tricks.

I'd already decided to keep the escort's profession to myself, I'd get Connie to tell Vinnie she was a new office help or something.

I made a mental note to call Candy as soon as I had the time. Maybe she also had male escorts who could take care of Joyce, in case jealousy wasn't her thing. Maybe I'd get a two-fer discount? I didn't know how these things worked, but I'm sure I'd figure it out with Lula's help.

The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced this plan could really work. I still wanted to discuss it with Ranger, maybe he'd give me an advance on my paycheck so I could get started right away. For the first time since my stupid promise, I felt like I could handle it.

I was two exits away from Mark's ex-wife and just one from my apartment, so I decided to make a small detour to check in on Rex and mail and such and took the Hamilton Ave exit off Route 1.

It was afternoon and most of the seniors who lived in my building were out doing their senior things, so I was able to snag a parking spot right next to the handicapped spots, really close to the building. Of course I'd have this luck on a bright sunny day, not when it was pouring rain, but I enjoyed it anyway and smiled all the way to the back door.

I got my mail and took the elevator upstairs, I even remembered to be careful when I got to the second floor. I put my hand in my purse and closed my fingers over my gun. There were no bullets in it, but it could still intimidate, I figured. I stopped and listened at my apartment door, not because I thought someone was in there, but because I'd promised Ranger I'd do it.

When I didn't' hear anything, I fished my keys out of my purse with my free hand and unlocked the door. All was quiet inside, except for Rex running on his wheel.

I apologized to Rex for leaving him alone overnight, but when told him the reason for it, I was sure he smiled at me. I cracked a walnut for him and dropped it in his food dish along with some raisins and he almost somersaulted off his wheel in an effort to get to the food.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the light on my answering machine blinking furiously and I knew I was going to be too curious to ignore it much longer.

Since Rex stuffed his goodies into his cheek and disappeared into his soup can, I had no excuse to watch him any longer and turned to the dreaded machine with a sigh.

My mom had left two messages since the day before and I immediately felt guilty. Lula had called for an update, complaining that my cell phone wasn't on, but since I'd already talked to her, I deleted her message right away.

"Hi Mom," I said, holding back a sigh.

"Stephanie, you know better than not to show up or call in over a day," my mom said.

"I'm sorry I didn't pick up Bob…" I started but Mom cut me off.

"It's not about Bob. I heard sirens. You could have been in an accident."

"I wasn't. I'm fine, Mom. I'm sorry I didn't call, I was busy."

"Well. Why don't you come over for dinner tonight so we get to see you?"

Actually, that didn't sound like a bad idea. I did want to see Grandma Mazur and my parents.

"Okay. I'll see you tonight," I said and we disconnected.

I deleted my mom's messages and continued listening and deleting.

And then there were Harry's messages, two of them, interrupted only by a phone solicitor. He was his usual polite self, reminding me that he hadn't heard from me, but I could tell he was getting impatient. Or maybe I was just getting impatient to get him out of my life.

I reminded myself that I had a plan now and deleted his messages. That left an ominous breather, followed by a message that had me trembling.

"I'm watching you", a male voice said, except he had a heavy accent and it sounded more like 'I'm vatchink you.'

So the email hadn't been just a prank. Some psycho had my email address, my home phone number and an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.

Probably I should check my caller ID for a number, I thought, or check with RangeMan to see if they had the number of the caller. I wanted to call Ranger, just to ask him to come over as soon as possible.

I yelped when the phone rang in front of me. Trying to decide if I should answer or not, I checked caller ID, and when I saw the RangeMan name I almost knocked the phone of the counter trying to pick it up.

"Steph…"

I almost sobbed when I recognized Lester's voice. "Is…Is Ranger in?" I managed to ask.

"He's on his way over," Lester said. "That's why I'm calling. We got some…uhm…new intel and it'd probably be better for you if you stayed here for a while."

"I…got a phone call," I almost whispered.

"I know. Just hang on a few more minutes, boss is gonna be there in a few, kay?"

I disconnected, my purse in hand. If Ranger was on his way over, I was going to save him a couple minutes and meet him downstairs.

I didn't bother to lock the door, I just slammed it shut behind me as I rushed out, I just had to move. I almost tripped and fell down the stairs, that's how fast I was going.

My only thought was that everything was going to be okay once Ranger was here, nothing had happened yet and I'd be able to think clearer when he was with me.

My mind was already outside so I totally missed the two suits waiting in front of the elevator and plowed right into them. I went down and took one of them with me when I lost my balance.

"Excuse me," the guy still standing said and I felt his hand on my elbow as he tried to lift me up.

"Sorry, my bad," I said and was ready to hit the ground running to get to the parking lot.

The suit still had his hand on my elbow and I was about to yank it away when I realized he was holding a stun gun in his other hand.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the guy I'd brought down with me get to his feet and I knew I only had a few seconds, so I took a deep breath in an effort to scream my lungs out.

I never got that far.

I heard a short electric fizz and the unfortunately familiar tingle right before everything went black.

TBC

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A/N: You knew it was too good to last for long, didn't you? How close do you think Ranger is? Can he make it in time?? 


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, I appreciate the feedback immensly.

**Haartelijk bedankt **Stayce, I couldn't have done it without your help.

Warning: Bad language and adult content

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 17

Maybe it was because it had happened to me so many times before, maybe the experience had made me smarter, in any case, I remembered what had happened immediately when I came to.

Well, okay, so I wasn't smart enough to avoid getting stun-gunned, but at least I knew what had happened when I woke up feeling like I had been on an all-night bender, ready to throw up.

I kept my eyes closed and even suppressed a groan while I quietly assessed the damage. I could feel my hands and feet were tied, and some sort of tape had been slapped over my mouth. 'Please don't let it be duct tape,' I prayed, because that had a tendency of taking a few layers of skin with it when it was ripped off. Of course I refused to think it wouldn't be ripped off.

As soon as whoever was with me noticed I was awake, they would probably want to talk to me. They'd tied me up to talk to me, not to rape and kill me, I tried to tell myself.

I didn't notice the blindfold over my eyes until I tried to slowly open them. At least they hadn't used duct tape for my eyes. But the darkness didn't exactly calm my nerves.

I could tell by the noise and the vibrations that I was on the floor of a car, and I seemed to be alone.

So I focused on taking long even breaths through my nose and trying to pick up any tell tale noises. I could hear traffic rushing past, so maybe we were on a highway?

I wondered if I'd gotten into the same mess if I had waited for Ranger upstairs. The two guys had been waiting for the elevator when I came downstairs so chances were they would have knocked on my apartment door a minute later. And I would have opened because I would have expected Ranger.

So that made me less guilty of getting kidnapped, and probably more guilty of knee jerk reactions and inability to be aware of my surroundings, I shouldn't have barged downstairs, I should have waited upstairs and opened the door for nobody but him.

It was important that I got that figured out before I had the talk about it with Ranger. I assumed Ranger was close behind us, or at least closing in, so we'd have this discussion soon. And he'd asked me what happened and why I hadn't waited for him.

Except the car or van or truck I was in didn't seem to be slowing down. We didn't make any turns either, it felt like we were just going straight at pretty high speed. Every now and then, I could feel it bumping, like we were going over a pot hole, but the speed never seemed to change.

Probably Ranger was following to see where we'd end up so he could round up the kidnappers. I absolutely refused to think Ranger had no idea where I was right now, that he had missed the vehicle speeding away with me inside.

Once I got used to the steady hum of the engine and the vibrations of the chassis, I thought I could hear voices as well. So I was alone in the back, and the two guys were up front? That would mean I was in a van or something, right? I grunted in frustration, admiring Helen Keller more by the second.

I rolled around slowly until my bound hands touched the floor. I felt metal and dirt, so not an SUV or car then. And what did it matter, anyway? Unless Ranger had seen us speed away or one of the guys had picked up my purse and brought it along, it didn't matter what kind of moving object I was in. I knew that, but it still helped calm me down to focus on something, to feel like I was gathering information.

I needed to focus on something else besides the cold fear that was sneaking up on me. This hadn't been the first time I'd been stunned, and sadly not even the tenth time I was kidnapped. These men had come out of nowhere. I wasn't chasing a criminally insane skip, I didn't have a stalker, I'd had no warning, and I had no clue who they were.

I tried to see the irony in it, tried to imagine Ranger's smiling face as he told me I needed to be more aware of my surroundings, but I couldn't do it. When I thought of Ranger, I felt tears prick my eyes, as if there was reason to believe I'd never see him again. Which there wasn't, I was quick to remind myself.

The sound of something hitting the van with a loud 'zing' brought me back into reality and I opened my eyes in shock although all I could see was black. It had definitely sounded like a bullet embedding itself in the metal chassis. Someone was shooting at us!

Oh thank God! This could only mean Ranger was behind us and closing in.

Now I could hear shouting from the front, but I couldn't hear what was being said, only that there were two people. So probably the two suits had acted alone.

A window exploded with a loud crash and a million pieces of glass rained down on me. I couldn't hold back a scream and my lips pulled painfully on the duct tape.

There was more shouting from the front and now it was loud enough that I should have understood at least some words, but I didn't. Either I was losing it or they were talking in a foreign language, but I was too panicked now to figure out which.

I heard tires screeching and a moment later, I was thrown against the side panel when the van made a sharp turn, I hit my head hard and saw stars dancing against my closed lids. I tried to hold on to something, but my grasping hands found no hold.

The next turn was in the opposite direction, the tires were screeching, and I was sure the driver took the corner on two wheels as I was catapulted across the empty cargo area against another wall.

I pulled my knees up in an effort to shield my face, but the van hit a pot hole at that moment and my knee knocked into my chin. I tried to run my tongue over my teeth to check if they were still all there, but I didn't get that much time.

We had clearly left the highway, as the van was now turning often, rocking me against the panels. Since I had nothing to hold onto, I was bumping up and down with every motion.

We made another turn and I banged my shoulder against the side, but what had me truly scared was the sound of the back door flying open. I couldn't clearly locate it, I just knew what general direction it was it. One more sharp turn could have me rolling out of the van, only to be run over by whoever was following us.

I heard a crashing sound as if we were breaking through a fence, I felt airborne for a split second and then I was turning so fast that I lost sense of up and down.

With final Bang! we stopped so suddenly that I was slammed against the front. I fought the fog for a moment, but then all sounds seemed to be coming from far away.

The first thing I heard when I came to was Ranger's voice.

"Stephanie!"

For some reason he was yelling. And why was he calling me by my full name? I couldn't recall Ranger ever _yelling_ my name. There was a lot of shouting, but Ranger's voice was the only one I understood clearly.

"Querida, please, open your eyes."

It was still Ranger's voice, but it didn't sound like him. He'd never, ever sounded so forlorn, so pleading. Maybe this was a dream.

I felt his strong arms around me and I really wanted him to lift me off the cold floor. I wanted to tell him that my eyes _were_ open, that I just couldn't see because of the blindfold, but opening my mouth seemed like a lot of effort and I just wanted to sleep.

"Babe…stay with me," Ranger said and his voice still had that pleading undertone. "Please…"

More voices joined in, I thought I heard Tank, but couldn't make out what he said. I tried to remember what had happened to make me lie on the ground and Ranger plead with me, but thinking made my head hurt more.

Now I could hear sirens slowly coming closer and I knew they were coming here. I also knew that if I told Ranger I was okay, he might not send me to the hospital, so I made another effort to speak.

"Don't move her, man," a familiar voice said and Ranger, much closer than the voice, growled in response.

"I mean it, she could have a spinal injury, don't move her." It was Bobby. What was Bobby doing here? This had to be a dream. "The ambulance is here, let them take care of her."

"Babe," Ranger whispered, his mouth close to my ear. "Wake up. Open your beautiful eyes. Look at me." His hand squeezed my shoulder when he said it again. "Please."

I heard his voice, but it seemed to be fading. The darkness surrounding me became…blacker in a way, although I hadn't thought that was possible, and instead of the shouting voices, I now just heard a buzzing hum.

The tone in Ranger's voice broke my heart, he sounded so desperate, and I just wanted to tell him I was okay, he needn't worry about me, but I couldn't find the strength to speak. I felt him squeeze my hand now and I tried to squeeze back, but I didn't know if he felt it. Finally, I gave up struggling and let myself fall. The last thing I heard was Ranger's breath catch in his throat.

From the moment I saw Joe standing in the doorway to my bedroom, I knew I was dreaming. And immediately, I felt a pain in my chest as if I'd been punched hard and I felt like crying.

"Hey Cupcake," he said as he came in and sat down on my bed.

For a long minute, I just stared at him and drank in the sight. My subconscious hadn't forgotten the slightest detail. He was dressed in a grey t-shirt and a green flannel shirt, untucked over blue jeans.

His dark hair needed a cut, it curled a little over his ears and at the nape of his neck. And the crooked smile he sent me and the aged whiskey color of his eyes was the way I would always remember him.

Although I knew I was dreaming, I wasn't in control of what I said. That probably doesn't make any sense, I can't explain it better because up until then, it had never happened to me.

I was just thinking what I should say or do when Dream Stephanie spoke.

"You're gone," she/I said and Joe nodded.

"I know," he confirmed and his smile seemed sad now.

I felt tears sting my eyes and I remember not being able to tell whether I was happy to see him or sad that he was gone.

"Are you coming back?" that Stephanie asked him next, which I thought was a pretty stupid question, even if _I_'d asked it. Joe looked at me, just holding my gaze, and then he slowly shook his head.

"You need to get back, Steph. It's not your time."

"My time for what?" I asked, but he didn't respond, he just got up and reached for me as if to hug me. And then he sort of…faded.

My clock radio started beeping, which I thought was odd because I had it set to radio, but I hit the snooze button anyway. Maybe if I managed to go back to sleep, Joe would come back to explain.

But the beeping didn't stop. It wasn't a fast beeping either, but maybe it just sounded different to me because I never had it set to buzz. I hit the snooze button again, but the unnerving tone continued.

Bob trotted into the room and nuzzled my hand, except his nose was completely dry, and he took my entire hand in his mouth.

I didn't realize I was still dreaming until Bob started talking, and at that point I made an effort to open my eyes.

The beeping hadn't been my alarm clock, it had been the heart monitor next to my hospital bed, as I realized when my vision slowly became clearer.

Tubes and wires were attached to various parts on my body, but I couldn't feel any pain. My eyes followed one of the tubes from its stand by my bed into the back of my hand and that's when I saw Ranger was holding my hand.

As if in slow motion, I drew my eyes upwards from our hands to his face.

He was smiling as he took my hand in both of his, and his eyes shone with unshed tears. It was this sight that made me struggle harder to wade through the remaining layers of sleep, something awful must have happened for Ranger to show this much emotion.

I wanted to ask him what had happened, but only a hoarse croak came out of my mouth.

The smile reached his eyes as he turned to the nightstand and picked up a plastic cup with a straw. He bent down to thread the straw between my lips and I drank greedily. The cool water soothed my dry, scratchy throat.

"More?" Ranger asked when I had emptied the cup.

I shook my head 'no'. "Why am I in the hospital?" I asked, my voice now audible, but still a bit hoarse.

Ranger put the cup back on the nightstand and took my hand again. "How much do you remember?" he asked.

He ran his thumb over my palm and that was suddenly the nicest feeling in the world. "That feels good," I said, smiling. "Where did Morelli go?"

Ranger's response wasn't what I expected. He frowned and bent down to me again. "How much do you remember, Steph? Stay on the subject. When was the last time you saw me?"

I frowned and searched his eyes for any explanation, since I had no idea why he was pushing so hard. It took some effort to concentrate on what he'd asked.

Very slowly, my memory came back. "This morning," I said. "Before your meeting."

Ranger snorted, but there was no humor in it, it sounded sad. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and looked me in the eye. "You were in an accident. You're at St Francis hospital, ICU unit, and you've been unconscious for 48 hours."

I blinked a couple times while I tried to comprehend what Ranger had said. My thoughts were racing now and I opened my mouth a few times to respond, but no words came out.

Ranger got up from his chair and sat down on the side of my bed, still holding my hand.

"I thought I was gonna lose you, Babe," he whispered.

"You're here for _me_?" I asked, but that wasn't what I'd wanted to say at all. I wanted to understand what had happened and what was happening now, although I was beginning to get what had Ranger so concerned. So I'd meant to ask if he'd been here the entire time I'd been unconscious.

Ranger smiled again and cupped my face in his hand. "Yeah, I'm here for you."

"I did think it was nice when you held my hand," I got back to the earlier conversation. "I didn't mean to change the subject."

Ranger brushed his lips over mine. "I'm sorry. The doctors…" he leaned back to look me in the eye again, "I've heard a lot of different opinions about whether or not you would wake up at all and if you did what condition you'd be in. Then you woke up and…didn't make sense. I guess I panicked. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

I swallowed as his words sank in. "Whether I would wake up or not?"

He nodded. "Do you remember anything about the accident?"

I started to shake my head but then images filled my head and I closed my eyes.

Ranger squeezed my hand. "You staying with me this time?"

"I'm trying to remember," I said, starting to get frustrated. "Help me out here. Just a hint?"

"Well the last time you saw me, I did this," he kissed my lips lightly, "and this," he ran a trail over my jaw bone over to my ear with his tongue. "Ring any bells?"

I smiled and wrapped my free arm around him, holding him to me. His warmth seeped into me and I inhaled his scent deeply.

"That part I remember," I said, resting my head on his shoulder. I felt Ranger chuckle and relaxed as I tried to concentrate.

"I went to Newark in the afternoon," I continued.

Ranger nodded, the motion rubbing his hair against the side of my head. "Then what?"

"Lester. Lester called. Later, I mean. He said you were coming over."

"And I was. Only I got there when a van sped out of your parking lot, I must have been seconds too late."

"But you're here now. You got me, right?"

Ranger pulled back and reached for the call button. "I was supposed to alert the nurses as soon as you woke up," he explained. "But I had to make sure you were alright first."

"You got me out, right?" I repeated. It wasn't like Ranger to change the subject on me, that was my method.

A knock on the door interrupted us, the door opened and a male nurse entered. He nodded at Ranger and smiled at me. "Look who's awake," he said on a wink. "I'm Toby."

A woman in a doctor's coat followed.

"Hi I'm Dr. Ramirez," she said as she walked over to my bed. She was short, maybe 5 feet, and I put her in her mid-forties, and she looked like she knew what she was doing.

"How're you feeling?" She took a pen light out of her breast pocket and approached me.

Toby checked my IV fluids and made sure the machines were working correctly, then he took my chart from the foot of my bed, scribbled a few words and handed it to Dr. Ramirez.

"I'm fine," I lied. I knew I was supposed to tell a doctor the truth, but that always made them keep me longer. I had a killer headache, my vision was kind of blurry, I was sore all over, and I didn't remember how I'd gotten here. Even I knew that couldn't be good.

Dr. Ramirez shined the light into my eyes and checked my chart. "You have a very bad concussion," she said, looking up. "To be honest with you, I was hoping you'd wake up, but I wasn't sure you would."

I swallowed. So she was not one of the doctors who sugar-coated it.

"I have a headache," I conceded. Ranger cleared his throat next to me, and I knew he knew I was downplaying it.

Dr. Ramirez nodded. "That's to be expected. We're going to run some tests on you. You were quite lucky, Stephanie. Do you remember how you got here?"

I shook my head, deciding to go with the truth.

Dr. Ramirez made some notes. "What year is it?"  
"2007."

She nodded again. "What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?"

I could answer her because my conversation with Ranger had brought some memories back. "A friend called to tell me Ranger was on his way over."

Dr. Ramirez looked at Ranger and he nodded. She made some more notes.

"You were unconscious for two days." I nodded. "You're going to have to stay with us for at least another day until we get all test results back and until we can run an EEG on you. Would you like to see your parents now?"

I nodded and smiled weakly. "Sure."

She finished up her notes and stuck the chart back into its holder. "Toby will get your for the EEG in a little while and I'll be by later to discuss the results," she said and smiled for the first time. "If all goes well, I can release you to rest at home in a couple days."

I beamed at Ranger when the doctor left and he shook his head exasperated. "You only just woke up from a coma and already you're thinking of going home?"

"If all I have to do is rest, I might as well do that at home," I argued.

"Not your home, Babe. It's not safe enough."

I looked at him expectantly, hoping he'd explain, but the door opened any my parents barreled in. Well, my mom and Grandma Mazur barreled in, Dad closed the door behind him before he followed.

"Kidnapped and two days in a coma," Mom exclaimed. "Probably I lost five years of my life since I heard, we were worried sick!"

Dad shook Ranger's hand and they took a few steps back to let my mom and Grandma Mazur fuss over me.

I just smiled at my mom and assured her I was feeling much better, I knew I'd made her worry, and Grandma Mazur confirmed how much Mom had been stressed out.

"Course when Ranger called, we knew you were in good hands," Grandma said and squeezed my hand. "I told your mother he'd take good care of you."

She leaned in for a moment. "You can be proud of your friends. Carl Costanza is out there keeping the cops off your back, told them you needed to feel better before they could question you! And there's a very big hunk guarding your door. I'd say your safe."

Toby came in minutes later to usher everybody out. "It's been very exciting for her, she really needs her rest now," he said. I thought he'd make a great Merry Man, he already had the determination, not even my mother dared to object.

Dad hugged me and told me to feel better soon, Mom promised she'd pick me up and take me home as soon as I was well enough and Grandma Mazur said not to worry about Rex and Bob, they were taken care of.

I sank back against my pillow with a sigh when they left. Toby threw a glance at Ranger.

"Everybody out, doctor's orders," he said, but he lowered his glance when Ranger stared back. "Give me five minutes," Ranger said and turned back towards me. Toby shrugged and disappeared.

"What did you mean my apartment isn't safe enough?" I picked up our conversation.

He took my hand as he sat back down on the bed. "Let me fill you in on what happened. If you want to know, that is?" He raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You know I do," I said. His thumb was running circles on the back of my hand and it felt really nice and relaxing.

"We don't know who kidnapped you," Ranger started, focusing his dark eyes on mine.

"We got onto their tail as soon as they left your apartment, but we followed a couple car lengths behind so they wouldn't make us." He rubbed his chin and did his version of a sigh. "They ran a red light and the cops followed them. When they didn't stop, the cops opened fire."

My eyes widened as I finally remembered. "The gunshots," I whispered. "We swerved and crashed?"

Ranger nodded and took my face in his hands. "I don't know what they aimed at, but they took out the rear panel window, and then a tire. The driver lost control and swerved onto the shoulder, the van was too top-heavy and fell over on it s side."

Ranger's voice was shaky and there was so much emotion in his eyes, I felt tears sting my own. He brushed his lips over mine and I closed my eyes when he pulled me to him. At that moment, I understood he'd feared for my life.

"I thought you were the one shooting," I said and put my head on his shoulder. "I should have known better, huh?"

I could feel Ranger smile. "If I had been the one shooting, the driver wouldn't have gotten away."

I pulled back to look at him. "The driver got away?"

He nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "We know there were two, but they were gone before we got to the wreck. And then my priority was on getting you out, honestly. I have the best two teams on it though."

For some reason, I'd just assumed my kidnappers had been caught and arrested. Of course my life wouldn't be that simple, what was I thinking?

I sighed. "So really, we're no further than we were last week. We don't know who or why?"  
Ranger got up and looked at his watch. "They're gonna kick me out of here in a few. I'll be outside until they let me back in, okay?" He ran his index finger over my check and kissed me lightly.

"You focus on getting better. Tank is in charge of.." he chuckled, "Operation Bombshell."

I rolled my eyes. No need to ask who'd come up with that name, whoever it was had all the others in stitches for sure.

He kissed me one more time, but again it was a friendly kiss, no tongue, no groping hands. I knew he was trying to be careful because I wasn't feeling well, but I thought I'd feel much better if he got me hot and bothered.

As soon as Ranger left, Toby came back in with a wheelchair. "They're ready for your EEG now," he announced and stopped the wheelchair right next to my bed. Ugh.

Ranger and Bobby were seated right outside my room and Ranger wanted to come with us, but Toby told them he was in charge of me now and only patients were allowed where we were going anyway.

I was wheeled to the EEG, then I was wheeled to have blood taken, then I was wheeled to X-Ray. I was totally exhausted at the end of it and fell asleep on the way back to my room, leaving me wondering who'd tucked me into bed when I woke up.

Even before I opened my eyes, I knew Ranger was with me. It wasn't just a feeling, it was a sense of security and warmth that I only got when he was near me.

"Hey," he said and smiled when I looked at him. He entwined his fingers with mine and stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. "Feeling better?"

Actually, I did feel better. My headache was only a dull throb anymore and I could see clearly. I nodded and squeezed Ranger's hand. "Much."

I looked towards the window and noticed it was dark by now. "How long was I asleep this time? I didn't lose another day, did I?"

Ranger leaned in and brushed his lips over my forehead. "It's only nine-thirty. Same day."

Perfect proof I was getting better, I was down to losing hours, not days. I sat up and my stomach grumbled loudly. "Did I miss dinner?"

Ranger's smile widened as he cupped my face in both his hands and kissed my nose. "I'll get you food, don't worry."

Even though it was hospital food, dinner tasted wonderful. After dinner, I pulled Ranger into bed with me and I was finally comfortable when he molded his front to my back and his arm was draped tightly around me.

"They're not gonna throw you out again, are they?" I asked as I snuggled into him.

"No, I have an arrangement with Toby now," Ranger said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Plus, they'd have to get past Bobby."

Ranger was carefully avoiding all tubes and wires that ran into me and held me around my waist.

"Do you remember anything else? Did anything come back?" he whispered, his mouth close to my ear.

"Great Kisser," I said as the name hit me.

"Hmm?"

"I got an email, that was the sender, Gr8t Kissr," I explained. "I didn't take it seriously at first…"

"Babe."

I sighed and covered Ranger's hand with mine. "I know. Then I had a voicemail at home, I think it was the same guy."

"I'll have Tank pick up the tape. What did he say?" Ranger was still calm. I love how he always knows what to say and just how to say it. If his tone had been accusatory, I would have probably shut down.

"The email just said 'I'm watching you'. I thought it was a prank or something."

"You should have told me," Ranger said. I nodded and he put his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't stay with you, I should have postponed the meeting."

"You sound like me now," I teased him. "How do you figure any of this is your fault?" I half-turned so I could look into his face.

He was smiling. "You're a bad influence."

Then his mouth was on mine and this time the kiss was more than friendly, it was warm and full of promise.

"I can't wait to get out of here," I whispered against his mouth and could feel Ranger smile in the dark.

"You make it hard to remember you're hurt."

"Stay with me?" I suggested. "Makes no difference if you're on the uncomfortable chair or here in the bed with me."

Ranger stilled. "I don't think that's such a good idea. One of us will fall out as soon as the other turns. And since you're the one moving in her sleep, the falling one would be me."

I snaked my free arm around his neck and pulled him as close as I could. "I love you," I said and buried my face in his neck.

No 'why didn't you tell me', no 'why weren't you more aware of your surroundings', there was only concern. And instead of reminding me I had a tube sticking into my hand that could easily be ripped out when two people shared a twin bed, he made light of the situation.

He was right, of course, he often woke up without any covers because I was either rolled up in them or had pulled them off the bed at some point during the night. And I usually woke up on top of him.

He kissed the top of my head and held me to him. "I love you, too. And hold that thought, if Dr. Ramirez clears you, we'll share a big bed tomorrow night."

Ranger slowly pulled back and tipped my head up with his hand under my chin. He kissed my forehead, my nose, and finally my mouth, then he slid off the bed and turned on the bedside lamp.

I pouted and made a disappointed noise in the back of my throat, but then I smiled to show him I was kidding.

I fell asleep alone in my bed, but with Ranger holding my hand from the chair he'd pulled up as close as it would go.

Ranger had to leave early in the morning. "Junior's in charge," he said as he kissed me. "Let him know if you need anything. I'll take a shower and catch up with Tank, then I'll be back."

I knew he hadn't slept much the night before, he looked tired, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him to stay home, I needed him with me.

"Okay," I said and hugged him quickly. I couldn't wait to see the doctor and get the hell out of St. Francis. With any luck, I could leave before my family invaded again.

Junior waved through the open door when Ranger left to show me he was there, but he didn't come inside.

Toby brought my breakfast and announced I could shower if I felt up to it. He 'disconnected' me carefully and explained that, if everything went well, I wouldn't need my IV and monitors after midday anyway, because I'd be discharged.

Dr. Ramirez came by shortly afterwards, when I was back in bed, to tell me the tests all went well. I'd have to stay in bed, not drive or go to work, but I could leave the hospital if I promised to be good.

I'd never been so fast to promise anything.

She reminded me I still needed to check in with my regular physician and make sure I got follow up x-rays and tests, but I hardly listened. I was too anxious to put on real clothes and go home. Home to Ranger's apartment, home.

She told me she'd get my discharge papers ready and be back. I jumped out of bed as soon as she was gone and rushed to tell Junior the good news and borrow his cell phone to call Ranger.

"Good news, Babe," he said as soon as I told him. "I have something to finish up here and then I'll come get you. Unless you'd rather ride with Junior?"

"Nope, I can wait," I said. I liked Junior, but I wanted Ranger, even though I knew it was selfish. "Whenever you're ready. And can you bring me some clothes?"

"I like you better without them," Ranger chuckled and disconnected. I stuck my tongue out at the dead phone and returned it to Junior. By the time I lay back down, I was dizzy and exhausted. So Dr. Ramirez hadn't been exaggerating, I realized.

Ten minutes later, I'd tamed my hair into a half-assed ponytail and was changing out of my hospital gown into the sweats and t-shirt Junior had bought for me at the gift store. He said Ranger was on his way but would come straight here from a job, so he wouldn't have time to pick up my clothes. That was fine with me, as long as I didn't have to wear the johnnie anymore, I was happy.

I was lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling and waiting for Dr. Ramirez to come and allow me to leave, reviewing what I'd pieced together.

I was still trying to 'see' the faces of the two guys that had kidnapped me so I could give the cops a good description, so I closed my eyes and concentrated, the way Ranger had told me to, step by step from the moment I'd woken up that day.

A knock on the door interrupted my efforts. Doctor Ramirez entered, followed by a tall blond doctor. He was about twenty years her junior and looked a few feet taller. Next to Dr. Ramirez, he looked like a giant.

"Stephanie, this is Dr. Hartung. He's an intern from Germany and he asked to review your case because he's looking to specialize in head injuries and..."

Her pager went off at that moment and she excused herself. "I am needed in the ER," she said after checking the readout. "Thomas, I'm sure you'll be okay here, let me know if you have any questions."

She smiled and me and was gone before I had a chance to ask her how much longer I'd have to wait for my papers. I reminded myself not to be too impatient and sent Dr. Hartung a smile. He had picked up my chart and was studying it.

"So, you want to run some more tests?" I asked, crossing my fingers that the answer would be no.

He shook his head and looked up at me. His blue eyes were cold as he studied me. Slowly, the corner of his mouth quirked up.

"Zat von't be necessary, Stephanie," he said and for some reason, my spidey sense was tingling. His voice seemed so familiar.

"Ve know all zere is to know about you."

TBC

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A/N: Sorry this update is late. Please let me know if you think Steph deserves a break or if her troubles should continue...I left it open to get your input! 


	18. Chapter 18

I'm sorry I'm late again, but it's been a rough couple of weeks!

Thank you very much for your kind reviews and suggestions and don't worry, I will get to that part :)

A special thank you to Stayce for all the help and encouragement, not to mention her tireless editing efforts!

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 18

I watched as Dr. Hartung reached into the pocket of his white coat, and even before he withdrew it, I knew with absolute certainty I wouldn't like what he'd produce.

"What do you mean?" I asked, mostly to stall for time. Maybe I was making this up again and the accent had freaked me out. Probably all Germans sounded the same and I was still wigging from the kidnapping. This nice young doctor had nothing to do with it. Except that didn't explain my spidey sense.

I needed help. Should I yell for Junior? Could he be in here before 'Dr. Hartung' could shoot me?

He was probably closing his fingers around his gun at that very moment. How much longer would Ranger be? If he opened the door right now, Hartung would at least turn and I could jump him. Or hide under the bed, but either way, I could get out of the direct line of fire.

He ignored my question and slowly put my chart down.

Whoever he was working for was definitely smart. I didn't know if they had faked a medical license or if one of them happened to have it, but they'd managed to scam their way into St. Francis somehow.

Suddenly I knew why his voice had sounded familiar. It was the voice on my answering machine!

I was so fucked. I didn't dare breathe as I watched this blond giant take a step towards me. What were my odds? Was he holding a gun? Would he get it out and pull the trigger and hit me before Junior could open the door, assess the situation and subdue him?

My head started pounding again and suddenly, time slowed down, and I saw everything in slow motion.

I held my breath as his hand came out of the pocket, not holding a gun but a syringe. And at that moment I knew that the only one who could save me was me. No one else would make it in time.

In a moment of clarity, I remembered what had worked 'last time'. When Guzzarella ambushed me, I'd been just as paralyzed as I was now, and he had been surprised enough to enable me overpower him when I did move. So all I had to do now was snap out of my inability to move, as Thomas or whatever his name was, was lifting his arm to hold me down.

The weirdest thing happened next. I remembered my dream. This all happened in split-seconds but I saw Joe sitting on my bed, telling me it wasn't my time. And that was the thought I clung to.

"It's not my time!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, because that was on the tip of my tongue, I didn't much care about making sense, I needed some kind of warrior cry. I saw his eyes marginally widen in surprise at my sudden outburst.

As if the sound of my voice had woken me up, the slow motion feeling stopped and everything happened really fast. Where the prior fifteen seconds had felt like a half hour, the next fifteen felt like one second.

I kicked his arm away with one leg, while I reached out for anything my hand would grasp on the nightstand to hurl at him.

The plastic water cup connected with his forehead and he growled as the water sloshed over his face. He reached out to grab my leg and the hand with syringe came up, so I kicked with both legs.

I realized I had to get up, but for that to happen I had to stop kicking, and I didn't know if I could attack him any other way.

Looking back, I realize it must have looked pretty comical, but at that moment, it felt anything but. I reached behind me, pulled my pillow out and threw it at him, using his moment of confusion to get out of bed.

He just swatted the pillow away and grabbed my arm, but at least now I was standing.

"Vere ah you going, Stephanie? Ze doctor says to stay in bed," he said with his thick accent as his grip on my biceps tightened painfully.

He was still holding the damned syringe and tried to hold me still enough so he could stick it in me. He might have been good, but he was far from perfect. Any moron knows that a real doctor would call a nurse to help him subdue the patient if a shot absolutely has to be given, he doesn't try to do it himself. I didn't know for sure, but I thought it was a pretty fair bet they did things similarly in Germany.

Okay, so that thought didn't occur to me until later, but still, you know what I mean.

I knew I didn't have the strength to overpower him though, he was about a foot taller than me and outweighed me by 50 pounds easily, I could only try to be faster, surprise him, trick him.

I wasn't thinking so much as acting on pure instinct. He had my arm, but I still had another arm and two feet to work with.

I ducked, mostly to distract him, then I lifted my knee to kick him where it hurts. Unfortunately, he saw that move coming and blocked me with his free arm. It was all I could do to pull back before he could get a hold of my leg. The good news was he had to drop the syringe to defend his crown jewels.

I grunted in frustration and did what any proper girl would do, I punched him in the nose. It was a lucky shot, but it worked. He dropped my arm as his hand flew up to his face and I used that moment to repeat my kick. This time, there weren't any body parts to block me and I shoved his gonads so far up, they might have passed for tonsils afterwards.

He howled and doubled over, clutching his crotch. I was about to follow up with a right hook or something as cool when I was distracted by a curse and movement in my peripheral vision.

I looked up to see Junior rushing forward, cuffs in hand, taking care of Hartung. Ranger was grinning from ear to ear. "You never disappoint, Babe."

"You were watching me?" I asked incredulously. "You were here the whole time and didn't help me?"

I swayed on my feet and suddenly the room started spinning again. I tried to take a deep breath, but failed. In fact I was closer to hyperventilating. Ranger closed the distance between us and gathered me in his arms, lifting me off the floor.

"I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner," he said, brushing my hair out of my face as he sat me down on the bed. "I wasn't watching, I just now got in. And I was waiting for a clear shot. But you handled the situation pretty well on your own."

I only now noticed that he was still holding his gun as he put it back in its holster.

He bent down and kissed me. "Proud of you, Babe."

I let out a long shaky breath. I'd done it! And I'd done it by myself, I had no idea backup had been steps away! As soon as the nausea would pass, I was sure I'd feel proud of myself, too.

Hartung was still howling while Junior secured the cuffs on him and hauled him up by his cuffed hands, standing him upright. One look from Ranger and Junior shoved Hartung towards the door.

Ranger stepped into my line of sight and stooped down to look at me. "I mean that. You did great."

I nodded. "Who…who is he, do you know?"

Ranger frowned, running his hands up and down my arms. "I don't know what's going on, Junior called in a code red just as I came down the hall. I was hoping you could tell me."

"She sa…haid his name is Ha…ha…Hartung," I stammered and leaned forward to rest my head against Ranger's shoulder.

Although I was trying to avoid it, I was reliving the last few minutes in my head and was very close to freaking out. As happy as I was that I'd kept it together long enough, I didn't really want to break down now either.

Ranger wrapped his arms around me and started stroking my back.

"It's okay," he said, noticing the change in me. "It's over. I got you."

I nodded, rubbing my face against his shirt, but now I had to bite my lip to keep the sobs in. Ranger's arms tightened around me and he put his chin on my head. "It's over. I'm here to take you home."

I could hear the relief in his voice and that made me realize how worried he'd been. And Ranger didn't worry unless shit was hitting the fan. Although I didn't know if what was in the syringe would have just knocked me out or killed me, I couldn't help thinking that it had been close, very close.

"You're shaking," Ranger said, his mouth close to my ear now. He threaded his hand through my hair and pulled my head back gently until I met his eyes. He studied me silently for a moment, then he kissed me lightly. "You're gonna be okay."

I wanted to believe him, I wanted to think he'd seen something in my eyes that made _hi_m believe that, but I was still fighting tears and nausea.

"I d…don't feel okay," I admitted, almost hiccupping.

"Just the adrenaline overload, Babe," Ranger said and cupped my face in his hands. "It's normal. If I weren't used to it, I'd be shaking along with you."

I knew he was kidding, but I appreciated the effort. His voice was calm and soothing, his hands warm on me.

"Just hold me for a little while longer," I whispered and I wasn't sure he'd heard me until I felt him nod.

"Forever, if that's what you want."

At the total sincerity and emotion in his voice, I couldn't hold back any longer. A tear popped out of my left eye, followed by another. I wrapped my arms around Ranger and held him to me.

Slowly, the nausea subsided and was replaced by a pounding headache. Tears were flowing freely down my cheek and soaked Ranger's shirt, and he didn't seem to mind. We stayed like that for what felt like hours, until I was able to draw a deep breath without shaking.

I heard the door to my room open and felt Ranger turn his head, but I didn't look up and I didn't try to hear what was said. I'd done all I could do, Ranger was taking over now, he'd keep me safe.

His chest was vibrating under me when he spoke. "Take him with you to headquarters. Go with Tank and leave me a car, we'll meet you there."

I heard the door close and burrowed deeper into Ranger, holding him so close for a moment that I had trouble breathing, then I leaned back.

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'm better now."

Ranger locked eyes with me. "You sure?"

I nodded but didn't release him from my grip just yet. "Thank you. You got here just in time."

He took a step back and ran his fingers through my hair. My loose ponytail had long since come undone, so it was probably just a mass of curls.

"I still need to talk to hospital security and to Dr. Ramirez to find out what happened and who this Hartung guy is," he said, brushing a wayward curl out of my face. "Do you want to wait here or come with?"

I chewed on my lower lip. I hadn't thought of that. Well, I hadn't really given anything much thought since Ranger arrived, I'd been too busy calming down, but I should have known Ranger would want to get as much information as possible as soon as possible.

I really only wanted to leave, but I knew how important it was to get clues while they're fresh. And since I did not want to be left alone for even a minute, I really didn't have much choice.

"Forget it," Ranger said into my thoughts. "I'll call a team to talk to the hospital staff. I'm taking you home now."

He was studying me intently and I knew my emotions were written all over my face. I smiled and leaned into him. "You and that ESP…"

He took my hand and helped me off the bed. I held onto him to make sure my legs would carry me, and that's when my eyes fell on the syringe on the floor. I sucked in some air and just pointed at it, trying to tell myself again that it was over.

Ranger nudged me forward, towards the door. "I'll let them know," he said and took his cell phone off his belt, flipped it open and pushed a button.

By the time we reached his SUV, Hal and Bobby had instructions to take care of my discharge paperwork, collect all evidence they could find and interview every member of the hospital staff assigned to my floor.

Ranger held the door open for me and took my elbow as I climbed inside. "I'm fine," I assured him. "I can get in by myself."

But secretly, I was glad Ranger was taking such care of me. I might have been able to overwhelm Hartung, or whatever his real name was, by myself, but I would have definitely had a nervous breakdown if Ranger hadn't been there for me afterwards.

I took his hand when he got into the driver's seat and squeezed it. He looked up at me and returned the smile before he kissed my hand and put it in my lap so he could start the car.

We didn't talk during the short drive to Haywood Street. Ranger was in his 'zone' and I was watching him and I was having all kinds of deep thoughts about how I would never tire of drinking in the sight of him, no matter how familiar each inch of him was. He caught me staring but just winked at me. And suddenly I was thinking a Ranger induced orgasm would be just what I needed to get over the last few days.

Ranger's phone rang just as he had parked the car. "Yo," he greeted the caller and then listened for half a minute before disconnecting.

He glanced at me as he reattached the phone to his belt. "Hal and Bobby got the evidence. But they couldn't find Dr. Ramirez."

I shrugged. "She's probably off duty."

"She was _on_ duty this morning, and should still be there. They're combing the hospital now."

I tried to remember if I'd gotten any kind of weird feeling about Dr. Ramirez, but I couldn't think of anything. She'd seemed nice, professional. This had got to be a coincidence.

Ranger got out of the car, but I didn't wait for him to open my door. I like to be taken care of, but I don't like to be treated like an invalid. He still walked around the car and held his hand out, but I ignored it. I wasn't feeling 100 percent yet, but I had to appear stronger than I felt or else Ranger would bench me, I just knew it.

We rode the elevator up in silence and I kept staring down at the floor because I could feel Ranger's eyes on me. Probably he'd ask me how I was feeling in another minute and I knew I couldn't lie to him. Physically I felt lousy. But I wanted to get this over with. I'd just gotten Ranger back, I wanted to be able to enjoy him!

The elevator car stopped with a sudden thump. I looked up to see Ranger point his key fob at the camera before he came over to where I stood.

"What's wrong?" he asked, in a tone that made it impossible to feign ignorance.

"I'm okay," I said and bit my lip. He hadn't asked me what was wrong with _me _and yet I'd defended myself. Now he'd definitely think something was wrong. I sighed.

Ranger put his hands on my shoulders and ran his thumb over my jaw. "Are you trying to tough it out so I won't keep you out of the loop?"

I pressed my hand against his and leaned into it. He knew me too well.

"Just because I'm not feeling at the top of my game doesn't mean I want to sit back and watch you clean up my mess," I said and looked into his eyes.

The corners of his mouth came up in his famous almost-smile. "Now who's the one with the ESP?"

He chuckled quietly and pulled me closer, hugging me to him. I rested my head against his chest and took a couple deep breaths.

"You promise me to take it easy though? Tell me when you need a break?"

I nodded against him and wrapped my arms around him. "Promise."

I felt him move against me and a second later, the car started moving again. We arrived on 5 and Ranger put his hand onto the small of my back, leading me onto the floor.

"You're back!" Lester exclaimed as soon as he saw me and jumped up from his post at the monitors.

Cal next to him looked like he was thinking about getting up too, but one look at Ranger and he remained at the monitors. He joined the clapping and the cheers to welcome me back though. I blushed and sent a finger wave to the room in general.

Lester reached me and enveloped me in a bear hug, almost lifting me off the floor in the process. "Back in one piece," he pointed out as he released me with a peck on the cheek.

With a side glance at Ranger, he sat back down just as Junior joined us.

Ranger and Junior exchanged a look, and Ranger motioned towards his office. "Let's get everyone on the same page."

Tank knocked on the door just as Junior and I sat down in the visitors' chairs. He gave me a quick hug, handed Ranger some papers and then stayed to the left of Ranger's desk.

"Junior had Tank run the checks," Ranger explained as he scanned the pages Tank had handed him.

"Status update?"

Junior cleared his throat. "I checked IDs of all individuals entering Steph's room," he said, squirming a little in his seat. I knew Junior was one of Ranger's best men, but he was also one of the newest and usually nervous when he had to speak in front of a group.

"Both Dr. Ramirez and Dr. Hartung had hospital issued IDs that checked out."

"You're saying he's a legitimate doctor?" I asked incredulously.

Junior cut his eyes to me, then to Ranger and then quickly back to the papers in his hands.

"No…the IDs were legit, the hospital only has records of Dr. Ramirez. I didn't run the reports for the ID…"

"While we're young, Junior," Tank cut in.

I thought I knew why Junior was so nervous, he thought he'd messed up when checking IDs. Since he had been assigned as my guard outside the hospital room, he held himself responsible for what happened.

"Here's the log," Junior said and handed Ranger his papers.

Ranger took it and scanned it. "Let's meet when Hal and Bobby get back," he said as he dropped the papers on the pile of files in front of him. "I'll go through these by then and compare the reports with the logs."

Junior all but jumped up when he sensed that he was dismissed. "I'll book the conference room," he offered, already on his way out.

Tank took the seat Junior had vacated and leaned over to me. "How're you feeling?"

"I feel good," I repeated my standard answer and Tank smiled. He touched his index finger to my nose.

"I remember," he said and winked. It took me a moment to understand what he meant and then I felt the heat creep into my face. Probably I should have just said 'I'm okay', instead, I had walked right into the double entendre.

Tank chuckled. "Let me know if there's anything you need, kay?"

With that he got up and left. I looked up to find Ranger's eyes on Tank's departing form and for a second, I thought I saw him narrow his eyes, looking as if he was wondering what Tank had meant, but when I blinked, his face was blank.

He flipped open his phone and punched a number, then he waited for the call to connect and said a single word, 'ETA?', before he disconnected.

"Hal and Bobby are still at St Francis. Let's get you upstairs so you can rest before the meeting," he said, getting up.

And suddenly a nap sounded wonderful. Ever since Ranger had promised to keep me in the loop, I'd stopped being super alert, and now the morning was catching up with me.

Ranger walked around the desk, then he held out his hand to help me up and I took it and let him lead me out of his office to the elevator.

A while ago, when Gardner had terrorized my life, Ranger had promised me he would always keep me informed and I believed him. I've always known Ranger withheld information to protect me, but I'd finally made him realize that he hurt me by treating me like the incompetent damsel in distress and he'd seen my point. Now, even if I was to miss the meeting, I knew Ranger would fill me in.

"What time are you calling the meeting for?" I asked when we were alone in the elevator.

Ranger checked his watch. "It's 1:20 now. I'd say 3, that should give me time to go through all the information and get a better picture of what's going on."

"Are you sure you can spare so many men just to…"

Ranger held up a hand to stop me. "If you're gonna say to take care of your mess, I'm gonna pull your hair," he said and playfully tugged on one of my curls.

I sighed. "It's just that I feel bad you spend all this time," I gestured wildly, "And all of the guys' time on something that is technically my fault."

"It's not your fault you attract the whack jobs," Ranger clarified. "If my suspicions are confirmed, this fake doctor was working for DalBo."

I raised my eyebrows. "Because he's German?"

"Because DalBo is the one we currently have on the list as your stalker, are you telling me there are more?"

"No," I said and laughed at Ranger's expression of exasperation. "I just didn't think…" Actually, I didn't know what to think, I'd only concentrated of getting rid of him, I hadn't spent a thought on who he was working for. "Never mind," I said and stepped off the elevator as the doors opened.

Ranger keyed his apartment door open and I made a beeline for the living room, stretching out on the couch.

He joined me a minute later, handing me a bottle of water as he lifted up my shoulders and sat down, cradling my head in his lap. He started massaging my scalp and my headache began to get much better.

The last thing I remember was making a sound that came very close to a purr and feeling completely relaxed, and then I woke up on the couch alone.

I had a moment of panic until the clock on the cable box told me it was only 3:30, I hadn't slept away the afternoon. I grabbed some Advil from the kitchen and went into the bathroom to change and freshen up.

There was a note from Ranger on the kitchen counter. 'I call you for the meeting', it said and I smiled as I read it. It made me feel comfortable to know he knew me so well, because without the note, I would have called the control room right about now.

My stomach grumbled loudly, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I raided Ranger's fridge and came up with the ingredients for a peanut butter and olive sandwich, and I really wanted a beer with it but opted for water instead. Probably my concussion wouldn't appreciate the alcohol as much as I would.

The house phone rang just as I was rinsing my plate in the sink.

"Yo," I said, guessing it was Ranger calling.

"How're you feeling, Sleeping Beauty?" he greeted me and I smiled at the unusual pet name.

"Much better."

"We're meeting in 5 if you still want to join us?"

"I'll be down in a minute," I told him and we disconnected.

I checked my reflection in the hall mirror and went straight back to the bathroom to apply an extra coat of mascara and some lip gloss. No use scaring the guys.

Tank, Junior, Hal and Bobby were already seated in the conference room when I joined them, Ranger came in right behind me. He pulled me to him quickly and kissed my temple before I took my seat and he went on to sit at the head of the table.

Ranger gave Junior an almost imperceptible nod and Junior got up to hand out two pages of information each to all of us.

Next, Ranger nodded at Tank and he straightened in his seat.

"Okay," Tank said. "Here's what we know. Ranger and I were on our way to Steph's room to pick her up when Junior called in a code red and was about to enter."

"I heard a scream," Junior supplied. Good thing he hadn't heard what I'd screamed, he'd probably question my sanity.

"We picked up the Code Red at 11:22," Bobby added.

Ranger nodded again. "Junior and I came in just as Steph subdued the individual, a guy who called himself Dr. Thomas Hartung and had ID to back it up."

I glanced at the papers on the table in front of me. All this information was stated on it in bullet points, so I got the impression everything was being spelled out for my benefit.

"We took the suspect into custody and he remains here at RangeMan. We haven't been able to get much out of him because he claims he speaks no English," Hal spoke up.

I scoffed. "Bullshit. He sounds like Schwarzenegger's cousin, but it's still English!"

Hall nodded. "That's kind of hard to prove though. And his claim would hold up in court. But we're running his fingerprints from the syringe he threatened Steph with right now, we should know more in an hour or so."

I wasn't surprised Junior hadn't taken Hartung to the police. We needed to know more about him and who sent him before we could give him the chance to hide behind a lawyer. It was what Ranger would call marginally legal, morally right.

"We talked to everyone on Steph's floor in the hospital, but no one remembered a Dr. Hartung. They all knew Steph's doc, Dr. Ramirez, but we were unable to locate her. No one had seen or heard anything or anyone unusual today," Hal continued.

"So the hospital was a dead end," Ranger summed up.

"We haven't been able to dig up anything on DalBo," Bobby said. "He hasn't been heard from since he posted bail. Neither has Guzzarella."

"Are you watching Harry the Hammer's compound?" I wanted to know.

"His base of operation, the couple of betting places he runs, all locations we know of," Bobby replied. "Neither of the guys has shown up there."

"So really we have nothing," I said and leaned back deflated.

"We have this Hartung," Junior said. "He could be a good lead."

"Put on the pressure," Ranger said and Tank grinned. "With pleasure."

"We're still following the St Francis lead," Hal said. "Something's fishy about this Dr. Ramirez. We may get some information from her once we locate her."

It was frustrating. We really didn't have much to go on so far. I sighed as I went over all the information on the sheet of paper again, hoping that maybe I'd get an idea.

"Find her," Ranger said to Hal. "Yesterday."

There was a knock on the door and Ram stuck his head in. "The report you wanted as soon as it came in," he said to Ranger and held out a sheet of paper.

Tank got up and met him half way, taking the paper from him. He glanced at it as Ram disappeared and handed it to Ranger.

Ranger didn't say anything, but I saw a muscle work in his jaw, and when he finished reading he looked up and locked eyes with me.

He got up and walked over to stand behind me, then he put his hands on my shoulders and started massaging them gently.

"We'll find them," he said softly. "Just give us some time."

Ranger must have signaled the others because they cleared out of the conference room without a word and he squatted down beside me.

"But until we do, you're gonna have to stay here. You're apartment isn't safe."

Oh, the hardship, I thought sarcastically. But I knew Ranger remembered how much I'd always resisted being kept in a safe house of any kind.

"I can still leave though, right?" I asked to make sure he wasn't trying to lock me up.

He did his version of a sigh and stood up. "Yeah, you can still leave. But not alone. I, or one of the men, will always be with you."

He pointed at his stack of papers. "Ram gave me the analysis of what was in the syringe."

"And?"

He took a deep breath and I saw the muscle work in his jaw again, as if he was fighting for control.

"Strychnine," he whispered and swallowed hard, his voice hard and tight. "It would have killed you."

I got up slowly, trying to come up with a way to distract myself and Ranger. I had to push what Ranger had just told me to the far corners of my mind to be dealt with much later, when the horror had worn off. I didn't know much about strychnine, but I knew it was a poison that killed slowly and painfully. I had been right, if I had waited for help or if I had not snapped out of my paralysis, I would have died. I had to go with total denial, denial was my friend.

"What about Sunday dinners at my parents' house? Would I need company for them too?" My voice belied my careless question, but I straightened my shoulders defiantly. I was not going to cry!

Ranger closed his eyes for a second and pulled me to him. He hugged me tight and I could feel his tension vibrating off him. After a moment, he took another deep breath and kissed the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

"Those would fall on me 'cause my men would demand hazard pay for that," he smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes and his voice had the same strained undertone as mine. He put his arm around my shoulders, walking us out of the conference room.

"Dinner tonight?" I asked. "I still have to pick up Bob and I haven't spent any time with my parents all week."

He took another deep breath and I knew he was trying to play along. "You drive a hard bargain, Babe."

I had a feeling I was going to deplete my mom's liquor stash tonight, concussion or no concussion, I needed to distract myself in the worst way possible if I didn't want to freak out over what could have been. Again.

TBC

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A/N: I hope Steph will have time to get to the things that really matter now: How to get Joyce out of Vinnie's life. Do you think she should make more of an effort to get it done or take care of her life-threatening issues first? I appreciate your thoughts! 


	19. Chapter 19

I'm wicked sorry it took me so long to update! RL really did a number on me, it wasn't my fault. Sigh. OK, it was _all _my fault, but I really couldn't find my muse for the longest time. I hope you haven't given up on me...

Thank you so very much for all your reviews, you have no idea how much I appreciate them.

A very special THANK YOU to Stayce for all the help and support and for the Sisphusian task of editing for me!

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 19

"You sure about this?"

Ranger killed the engine and half turned to me. "No, but you are. And I go where you're going."

I rolled my eyes, although I actually thought it was pretty sweet for him to say this.

"Let's do it then," I announced and opened my car door.

We were parked outside my parents' house and it was a quarter to six. Ranger had made true on his promise to come along, and I was happy about that. I didn't really want to go anywhere alone after this morning's scare but more importantly, I always got off easier when Ranger was with me at dinner and I just didn't have the strength to face the Spanish Inquisition right now.

Mom was always a bit nicer when Ranger was around and she never ever asked about grandchildren.

A wine red KIA Sedona pulled up behind us and Ranger glanced at his cell phone on his belt.

"Don't even think about it," I warned him, knowing exactly what he was thinking. He was hoping he'd get an emergency call.

He looked up and flashed me his 200-Watt smile. "Worth a try," he said and winked, and my heart melted.

I spontaneously kissed him and was about to pull away when Ranger put his hand on my back to hold me to him and turned my quick peck into a proper kiss.

"I think I'm going to like this bodyguard thing," I joked when we pulled apart and got out of the car.

I waited for Ranger to come around to my side and hooked my arm with his. "This will be fun," I said. I actually meant that. Compared to my day, and week, so far, dinner with my crazy family could be called fun!

With everything that had been happening lately, starting with the dooming first call from Guzzarella, I'd barely seen my parents for more than five minutes at a time. Considering that in the past six months, I'd had dinner with them at least twice a week, I had to make up for lost time. I knew I was in really bad shape when I even looked forward to seeing Valerie and her family. I was, for lack of a better word, feeling homesick.

We walked up the steps together and the front door opened before we reached it. My mom was smiling and my grandmother was standing right behind her, trying to see over her shoulder.

"What a nice surprise," Mom beamed as she looked from me to Ranger to behind us. "And there's Valerie and Albert and the kids, too!"

Ranger made a soft strangling sound and I jabbed him lightly with my elbow as we stepped inside. Dad was in the living room watching a ballgame, he didn't even turn his head, he knew what was happening at the door.

Bob came galloping out of the living room and slammed against me, bumping me into Ranger.

"Why don't you help me finish dinner in the kitchen, Stephanie?" Mom asked.  
That was never good. My mom didn't need help cooking dinner. She wanted to talk to me in private. Ranger smiled, he knew the code, and pulled Bob away from me to join my dad in the living room.

"You're feeling all better then? Mary Kulinsky's daughter told her you left without checking out?" Mom got right to the point when I closed the kitchen door behind me.

"I was going to be released anyway, I just didn't wait for my papers," I explained. That wasn't even a fib. I was lucky Mary Kulinsky hadn't told her mom about the details leading up to my departure from the hospital.

I heard the commotion in the hall that always accompanied Val's arrival and caught myself being grateful for the distraction.

My mom looked at me as if she was trying to decide whether to believe me or not.

Grandma Mazur barreled into the kitchen before either of us could say anything else though.

"Good for you to stop by, Stephanie," Grandma Mazur said. "When was the last time you brought Ranger and Bob for dinner, must have been Christmas or something."

She winked at me and I knew she had interrupted on purpose. Probably in case I needed backup. I loved my grandmother.

"It's been three weeks since Stephanie stayed for dinner and over two months since she brought Ranger," my mother answered Grandma's question. Oh great, I hoped this talk didn't evolve into a guilt trip, I really wasn't up for that.

"Do I smell smoke?" Grandma asked, knowing fully well that the question would distract my mother and I slipped out of the kitchen as Mom turned towards the stove.

The rest of the house was pandemonium. Bob was jumping up and down around Mary Alice and Angie, Mary Alice was pretending to be a horse and whinnied loudly, trying to top Bob's barking, Valerie was trying to calm a screaming Lisa and Albert was talking to Ranger using his hands and feet. You had to know Ranger very well to see that he was trying hard to appear interested.

The only one not affected by the mayhem was my dad, still watching TV in the living room, waiting for dinner to be served. I really envied him and wondered if I got my avoidance skills from him.

The kitchen door opened behind me and Grandma Mazur emerged with a bowl of mashed potatoes, so I assumed the coast was clear and helped set the table.

An hour later, I took a deep breath of fresh night air when we left my parents' house. Ranger blew out some air, his version of a sigh. I laughed and leaned into him.

"We made it."

"Barely," he said softly, and I knew he was smiling without looking up into his face. "Actually, it would be more accurate to say Albert made it," I said. I was pretty sure there was a time or two during the dinner conversation when Ranger had thought about pulling his gun. And Probably my dad would have encouraged him.

Dinner had been the usual chaos. There were the food fights between Angie and Mary Alice, although Angie would just whine about it and not participate, Lisa's incessant crying, Albert's babbling. Mom had thrown back almost four glasses of wine while Ranger and I each only had one. It was a miracle nothing had exploded and nobody had gotten hurt.

I don't know if it was because we'd just 'survived' dinner at my parents' house or because it was such a nice night, but all of a sudden, I felt like talking. Right here and now.

I took Ranger's hand and led him down the sidewalk, away from the car. "Let's take a walk."

"Something on your mind?" he asked. "You never exercise voluntarily."

I stuck out my tongue as I rolled my eyes. "People change," I replied wistfully.

Ranger laughed softly and put his arm around my shoulder, squeezing me lightly, and we walked down the familiar streets. He seemed relaxed next to me, but I knew he was in protection mode. If I asked him what kind of cars we'd passed in the last five minutes, I'd probably have gotten make, model and license plate number. I felt completely safe.

"Are we being followed?" I asked, matching my steps to Ranger's so we moved as one.

The corners of Ranger's mouth quirked up. "A team has us in sight. Are you asking because you felt them?" he asked as he looked down at me. "No, just because you thought I would be extra careful," he answered his own question and chuckled again.

"You think I need extra protection?"

Ranger leaned down and kissed my nose. "Humor me. I'm not taking any more chances."

Windows didn't open as we walked by, but I knew all Burg eyes were on us. And telephones were ringing everywhere to alert the next neighbor to the event, I was sure. Burgers lived for gossip, any kind of gossip, but I still loved them and the Burg. I needed the familiar territory for this discussion.

"I need your help," I started, my eyes on the ground. "With the Joyce issue I mean."

"Babe, you sure you want me to…"

I stopped and held up my hand. "You come within ten feet of her I'm going to bathe you in Clorox."

Ranger smiled his full-on smile. "Now there's an image. As if I needed incentive_ not_ to touch her."

I chuckled, leaning against his chest as we stood on the sidewalk.

"I don't need that kind of help. But I want to know what you think of my ideas…" Then I told him about my idea with the hookers.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, looking down at me, when I was finished.

"You want to hire an escort to distract Vinnie and make Joyce jealous," he summed it up.

I nodded.

"Are you sure Harry wouldn't think you were tricking him if you got Vinnie hooked on another broad?"  
I rolled my eyes at his lame pun. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. If you have any other ideas, I'm listening."

"I guess I'm just a little confused by the walk," Ranger quipped and I punched him.

"I thought I'd change my usual pacing," I said and stuck out my tongue. Ranger knew I could never sit still when I was trying to come up with solutions. And right now I was thinking I had to attack my problems. I was glad our relationship was no longer one of them.

"I think DalBo and Guzzarella are a little more pressing than finding a mate for the pervert," Ranger said, taking my hand as we started walking again.

I sighed. Of course he was right, but I had no clue what to do about DalBo, at least I had a start of an idea about my deal with Harry.

"But Harry called in his marker before I ever met the other two," I pointed out.

I waved to Mrs. Kulesik who was letting her dog out for a last tinkle in her front yard. "So what do you think about 'Candy's Close Encounters'?"

I knew Ranger raised and eyebrow by the way he asked "Candy's Close Encounters?", I didn't even have to look at him.

"I was hoping you'd like the idea enough to lend me some money to hire her services," I admitted.

We had walked around a couple blocks and were almost at my parents' house again. Ranger put his arm around my shoulders and did his almost-smile.

'Well?" I prodded.

"I think I should check her and her establishment out first," Ranger said.

I stopped. "Oh no. I don't think so. Unless you're talking about a RangeMan background check, that's okay."

The almost smile turned into a full on smile as Ranger fished his keys out of his pocket and remoted his car open. He opened the passenger door and held it for me.

"Not that I don't trust you or anything," I rushed to explain, just in case Ranger thought I was jealous. "Just wouldn't want to add to your workload."

Ranger was still smiling as he walked around the front of the Cayenne to the driver's side. Obviously, I was amusing him.

He went into his zone on the drive home and I told myself he was thinking about my idea. I had some money in my account, thanks to my RangeMan job, but I needed a lot more to hire one of Candy's girls for more than an hour.

Ranger hadn't said anything by the time we parked in the RangeMan garage and he left the elevator on the fifth floor telling me he had some work to finish and he'd be up in a little bit. I still had more to discuss, so I decided to wait for him in the living room, zapping through the channels, rather than in the bedroom where we'd be too distracted to talk.

The late news was on when the front door unlocked. Ranger went into the kitchen and joined me on the couch a minute later, holding a Corona out to me.

"More alcohol?" I asked, alluding to the one glass of wine he'd had earlier. "Bad day?" If he could make fun of my aversion to exercise I could make fun of his body temple thing, I figured.

"Wise ass," he quipped and leaned back, taking a long pull from his bottle.

He closed his eyes and I could tell he was worn out. I scooted closer and put my head on his shoulder. "Was it bad at the office though?"

Ranger let out a long breath. "This Hartung guy is good. No English word out of him yet."

I sat up straight. "You questioned him without me?"

He ran the palm of his hand over his face and rubbed the bridge of his nose lightly before he let out a frustrated breath.

When he opened his eyes again and looked at me, I could sense his frustration. "No. Lester and Hector tried and failed. I think I _should_ try."

I had some gory images of how Hector would 'try' to question a suspect and I had to shake my head to clear it. "Why is he so important?"

Ranger leaned forward and pulled me back into him. "Because he's the only lead we have. The guys in the van got away. We can't seem to find DalBo or Guzzarella. I hate to admit it, but this guy is the best we have."

I had managed to push the whole issue to the background, but Ranger's confession brought it back fast. Shit. I hated thinking about problems I had no solution for, that's what denial was for. Right now, I didn't even want to discuss the Harry solution any further.

I decided Ranger needed a lesson in denial and ran my hand up his chest, slowly unbuttoning his shirt on my way down.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," Ranger said softly when I pushed myself up on my hand to reach the exposed skin on his chest. "But I'm too beat to argue."

"Yeah right," I grinned, placing butterfly kisses on his chest, smiling as he involuntarily shivered under my light touch.

We both knew Ranger would never let a little thing like fatigue stand in the way of a job. More likely he had told me everything he knew already and didn't mind the distraction. And I _really _didn't want to talk about it anymore.

He picked up my hand off his chest and brought it to his lips, kissing first my wrist and then my palm. Exciting shivers ran up and down my spine even at this slight touch.

"If you're so beat, you should go to bed," I suggested, slowly scooting off the couch. I looked at him through lowered lashes and I was trying to pull off really sexy but probably looked more like sex kitten as I held out my hand to help him up.

Either way, Ranger smiled as he took my hand and stood up. He surprised me by picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and I let out a shriek that turned into a giggle.

"Caveman," I reprimanded but I was giggling so hard I didn't know if he heard me.

Ranger didn't break stride until he leaned forward to deposit me on the bed. His smile was not only full-on, it was a wolf grin.

"It was your idea," he pointed out as he lowered himself down, putting his hands on either side of my head to balance his weight.

I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "That's right. So I get what _I _want."

He chuckled softly and closed my lips with his in a hot and passionate kiss. I knew that was his reply, 'You always do'.

I bunched up his shirt and pulled it up, Ranger broke the kiss long enough to lift his head so I could slip it off. Just splaying my hands on his muscles, rippling under my touch, almost gave me an orgasm on the spot.

Ranger's hand had snuck under my shirt and he had expertly opened my bra clasp and cupped one of my freed breasts as the evidence of his excitement pressed into my belly. He kissed me lightly and got up so suddenly that I didn't know what was happening until he was standing next to the bed.

I was about to protest when I saw him undress with the same lightning speed and he joined me moments later in all his naked glory. I pulled my shirt over my head and opened the top snap of my jeans, but then Ranger covered my hand with his.

"Let me," he whispered and leaned down, pressing me into the mattress.

He let his tongue swirl around my ear before placing open-mouthed kisses down to the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder, all the while kneading my breast, teasing the nipple to the point where I was aching for release.

I ran my fingers through his hair and arched into him, I was overwhelmed by the need to feel him in me.

He replaced his hand with his mouth and ran circles around my painfully pebbled nipple with his tongue until I saw stars behind my closed lids. I could feel his breath on my skin, as fast as my breathing, and I urged him on by grinding my hips into his.

I literally shrieked when Ranger's cell phone vibrated on the night stand and the string of curses Ranger uttered while slowly pulling away told me he wasn't faring much better.

He didn't even greet the caller, he just flipped the phone open. The Merry Men knew better than to call Ranger after hours unless it was an emergency, so I knew the news couldn't be good. Ranger cut his eyes to me, then he turned around and sat down on the bed with his back to me.

"When?" he asked his caller.

I pulled the sheets up to cover me and sat down next to Ranger, I had a feeling the conversation concerned me too. Unfortunately, whoever was on the other end was talking too softly for me to hear anything.

"Give me five minutes," Ranger said after another minute and flipped the phone shut.

He let out a long breath and stood up. "Bad news, Babe," he said and held out his hand for me.

"Hartung killed himself," I guessed and that earned me a raised eyebrow and an almost smile from Ranger that instantly made him look more relaxed.

"No, he's fine as far as I know. This is about you. We have a meeting in five minutes." He looked me up and down. "And we should get dressed. Tank will go over everything. Unless you want me to…"

I shook my head. "I don't need to hear bad news twice, I think I can wait five minutes," I said, distracted by the sight of Ranger in front of me.

I was still holding the sheet to my chest, whereas Ranger was completely naked, and I took advantage of the situation by smacking him on his ass as he bent to pick up his pants. He grabbed me before I could turn away and threw me over his shoulder again.

"On second thought, we could just go as we are," he said and started marching towards the door.

His voice sounded serious although I was convinced he was kidding. But with Ranger, one never knows. I started struggling as I shrieked and he let me down.

I was laughing hard by the time I got my footing but the look on Ranger's face made me stop. It was his patented blank face, and I knew the news was really bad. Just like that, the light mood was gone. He'd tried to 'play along' but in the end, I was the only one who had aced the class on denial.

Ranger picked his pants off the floor and put them on, then he straightened and looked at me. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed my nose.

"Yeah, it's that bad, Babe," he said, reading my thoughts.

We both got dressed in silence after that and I rushed to the bathroom to tame my hair. I never knew women could suffer from 'blue balls' but what I was feeling had to be close to that. I was beyond frustrated. A part of me knew I should only care about the case and what news had come in about it, but a much larger part just wanted to rip Ranger's clothes off and drag him back to bed.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. "Consider this a rain check," he said and led me out the bedroom door.

Tank, Bobby, Lester and Hector were already in the conference room when we came in. Ranger took his seat at the head of the table and I took the chair Lester pulled out for me. Tank cleared his throat and passed out a sheet of paper for everyone.

"Mario Guzzarella was found shot at 20:00 tonight," he opened and my jaw dropped.

"WHAT?"

"He was pulled out of a dumpster behind the municipal building on Broad Street," Tank continued as if that somehow explained everything.

"He's dead?" I asked needlessly.

All Merry Men had their blank faces on, Ranger was studying the paper in front of him, but my guess was his face was blank too.

I leaned back in my chair and let the news set in. Not that I would ever wish another person dead, but I didn't exactly feel sorry for Guzzarella. I'd seen his eyes and I was sure he hadn't been a nice person for a long time if ever. Still though, it was quite a shock.

"That's not all," Tank said and my silent question if I'd heard all the bad news Ranger had warned me about was answered.

Tank waited until he was sure he had my full attention, then he pointed at the file in his hand and then to the sheet of paper in front of me.

"The murder weapon was found with him, a .38 S&W Special."

I looked up, confused. "That the same gun I use."

The room around me grew quiet. Well, quiet-er, as if someone had pushed the mute button.

"It is your gun," Tank finished tonelessly.

And now I knew why Ranger had reacted so strongly. Guzzarella had been shot with my gun.

"I didn't shoot him," I said, looking from Tank to Lester to Ranger.

"I know," Ranger said softly.

"Steph, we all know," Tank assured me. "Only…" he lowered his eyes to avoid looking at me.

"Only what?" I demanded.

"It is your gun. As in, it's covered with your finger prints."

"Well, mine and the murderer's, right?" My voice was rising and I got up to pace. No way could I sit still any longer.

"Just yours, Babe," Ranger said into the absolute silence.

My fingerprints were in the system because they had been routinely checked when I started working for Vinnie and again when I'd started at RangeMan. I had a sick feeling I knew what was coming next.

"They…the police…think…I killed him?" I worded it as a question, but it was rhetorical, really. What other reason could there be for Ranger and the guys to look so defeated?

I shook my head slowly. There was no doubt in my mind it was DalBo's doing. He'd tried to get to me directly and had failed, twice. So he'd found a fool prove indirect way. Damn.

"Babe," Ranger began and got up, walking towards me.

His expression was no longer blank, he looked both concerned and pissed. Lester put his hand on my arm to get my attention before Ranger reached me.

"We're on it, Bombshell, we got your back."

"Count on it," Tank confirmed. "Just in case Trenton PD gets their panties in a bunch, we called our lawyer to give him the heads up. Even if they decide to arrest you, you'll be out on bail before you know it."

I scoffed. "Yeah, I have a cousin who'll post my bail," I said sarcastically.

Ranger put his hands on my shoulders and I leaned back to draw strength from him. So far, I'd kept up my unfazed exterior, but I felt the tightly wound coils of panic in my stomach already.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to count to ten. Ranger was here with me. My friends were here with me. There was no reason to panic, I told myself. Not yet, anyway. Tank had said 'if' they decided to jump to conclusions and arrest me, not when.

"Babe, when was the last time you remember seeing your gun?" Ranger asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"It's DalBo," I said, leaning forward and finally picking up the sheet of paper. In bullet points, it was explaining everything Tank had told us.

"We are looking into…" Tank began but I held up my hand in the universal stop gesture.

"I know it's him," I said. I turned around to face Ranger. "It's DalBo."

I could tell by the look on his face that he'd been thinking the same thing. He nodded slowly.

"We can't know that," Lester argued. "We haven't even seen the guy in over a week!"

I looked from him to the rest of the guys, and while I could tell they were trying to maintain their blank faces, I could see the others didn't share Lester's opinion. I knew they didn't think I'd killed Guzzarella, but they believed somebody had set me up, and pretty good too.

Tank cleared his throat again. "We're waiting on the autopsy report, just like the cops," he said. "Time of death will determine if you need an alibi or not."

"Right, that makes sense," I said automatically. That was the way it was handled on all the TV cop shows, after all, so it had to be true, right?

"Santos, Brown," Ranger said, looking at them each as he said their name. "Find him."

They both jumped up immediately and looked like they were going to salute. "On it," they said as one and stormed out of the conference room.

The panic subsided. I knew it would be appropriate to freak, but I felt no need to anymore. I felt strangely numb, as if I was watching this whole scene on TV. It was strange. I stared at the table in front of me without seeing anything and tried to tell myself what this was really serious, that I could be accused of murder.

In hindsight, I believe it was the proverbial straw that broke my back. I'd been on this constant adrenaline high and low that I was spent. Earlier, I'd fought for my life and even though I'd won, it had left me emotionally drained. I needed a break to recharge my batteries, preferably a year long. I just couldn't take it anymore, that's the only way I can explain it.

"Any questions?" Tank asked, although only Hector was left of the Merry Men. "Meeting adjourned," he added for the record when Hector shook his head.

They filed out of the room, avoiding eye contact with me. Actually, I was avoiding eye contact with them, because I was afraid I'd read pity in their eyes and start bawling after all. Not that they'd ever shown pity, but I'd never been accused of murder before either.

Ranger's hands were still on my shoulders, and now he squeezed them lightly. "Let's go."

I barely heard him. Although Tank's description hadn't been graphic, I saw a mental picture of Guzzarella's body being pulled out of the dumpster. Unfortunately, I had seen enough corpses to imagine the scene in all its gruesome details. In my mind, he had a perfectly round hole in the middle of his forehead. Garbage was clinging to his perfectly tailored charcoal grey suit and his tie was a little askew. His cold blue eyes were looking directly at me, but there was no life in them.

I flinched when Ranger's hands closed around my shoulders and lifted me up. "Sorry," he whispered and wrapped his arms around me, just holding me.

I don't know how he knew exactly what I needed, yet again. I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want to even think about it, I just wanted to be held.

I'd deal with it when and if it had to be done, I told myself, and not a moment sooner. For now, I was going to push it to the farthest corners of my mind, with all the other things I didn't want to think about. Hartung would keep Guzzarella good company in the hidden corners of my mind, I figured.

I took a deep breath and pulled back to look at Ranger. "I'm okay," I said.

"I know," he assured me and brushed the hair from my face. "Let's just call it a day though, the teams are on it and they'll update us if they find out anything."

I knew what would really distract me right now, but it was the one thing I didn't feel like, oddly enough. A Ranger-induced orgasm would make all my problems seem secondary, but I just wasn't in the mood. The story of my life.

I let Ranger lead me to the elevator, his arm around my shoulders. I was borrowing his warmth and his strength and he didn't seem to mind sharing. And for once, I didn't feel guilty about using all his and his company's resources, I was just grateful.

I'd think about it all tomorrow. Tomorrow would be another day.

TBC

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A/N: As you can see, Steph really, really tried to address her problems. It really wasn't her fault! Well, it never is, right? What do you think, is this a sign she should forget all about Harry and the deal? Or should she continue her Scarlett routine and deny the more pressing issues to find a way to seperate Vinnie from Joyce? 


	20. Chapter 20

Thank you all so much for your wonderfule reviews. I took them to heart and hurried up with this chapter :)

Bussis for Stayce without whom this wouldn't be a chapter. Thanks, Babe!

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 20

Helped by another couple beers in spite of my antibiotics, I was able to sleep through the night. As a matter of fact, I slept so well I didn't have a care in the world when I woke up.

One of my legs was between Ranger's and my upper body splayed over his chest. I love waking up on top of Ranger!

His hand was on my back, one finger drawing lazy circles, tickling me. I raised my head and looked at him through the mass of hair that had fallen over my eyes. He was smiling down at me.

"Sleep well?" he asked, his voice still husky with sleep.

I craned my neck to see the bedside clock, it was just after eight. "You slept in!" I said smiling.

"Mmm," Ranger agreed, slipping his hand further down my back. "Thought you might want to cash in that rain check."

We didn't normally wake up together because Ranger was an early riser and usually went out jogging or something as ludicrous, and he rarely was able to persuade me to join him. So mostly, Ranger woke me after he got out of the shower, which was also quite nice, but didn't compare to waking up on top of him. I was glad we'd left Bob at my parents' house when my mom insisted he was 'no bother at all', that meant I didn't have to get up and walk him. I was all for cashing in that check.

And then the memories came back and the day before was once again fresh in my mind.

I didn't believe for a second that Ranger had forgotten about the tiny, insignificant little matter of a possible murder charge against me, which could only mean he was trying to make me feel better. Not that he needed a reason to fool around, obviously, but his priorities usually were solve the case first, have fun later.

My phone rang before I could even take him op on his offer. I frowned. What was my phone doing on the bedside table and why was it turned on? I'd turned it off on purpose to avoid calls I wasn't ready to answer.

At the moment I was only trying to avoid Harry's calls, although I was sure Lula had left plenty of messages by now too. Probably I shouldn't even listen to any of my messages and just call the people I cared about. I'd kind of neglected them the past couple days.If only it stopped ringing.

I turned my head but made no move to answer as the Ghostbusters theme song played on.

"Well?" Ranger asked, moving under me.

"They'll leave a message if it's urgent."

Ranger blew out some air and lifted us both up to reach for my phone. He flipped it open and pressed it to my ear. I glared at him before I took the phone out of his hand and sat up.

"Hello?"

"Miss Plum," Harry said, as pleasant and polite as always. "I'm so glad to finally get to talk to you in person."

I swallowed hard and sat up all the way. Ranger nudged me gently and when I looked up, he nodded encouragingly at me, mouthing 'go ahead'. He knew who'd called, I was sure. Probably he'd just sensed it. I sent him another glare. Sometimes I do have a plan, even though Ranger may not know it, and that time, my plan had been avoidance.

"Mr. Garibaldi," I said by way of greeting, stalling for time.

"You must be quite the busy little lady, Stephanie," he said in a fatherly tone. "You're harder to get a hold of than the Pope."

I tried to 'read' his tone of voice. Was he feeling as friendly as he sounded or should I read between the lines that he was pissed as hell I hadn't contacted him and much less had done my job? Tough question.

Maybe this was a good thing. Probably I wouldn't have called Harry on my own. Okay, I was sure I wouldn't have called him on my own. And I couldn't just hang up either, with Ranger watching. Ranger would give me 'the look' and I wouldn't have a good excuse.

I cleared my throat and closed my eyes to gather my thoughts. Better get this over with.

"I didn't kill Guzzarella," I said, my voice surprisingly steady.

There was a short pause on the other hand while I figured Harry was adjusting to my statement.

"I didn't say you did," he finally said, his tone emotionless. "He is not the reason for my call. But you haven't fulfilled your end of the bargain either, and it's been a week."

Ranger sat up and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him, allowing me to borrow his strength again.

"Mr. DalBo has kept me kind of busy," I told him. "He had me kidnapped, and when I managed to escape, one of his goons tried to kill me!" I had managed to keep the whine out of my voice.

Another pause on the other end.

Ranger's cell phone vibrated on the night stand and he flipped it open to read the text message, then he showed it to me.

'Conversation is being recorded,' it said, and I assumed it was referring to my current phone call.

I nodded and he texted something back, but I was too nervous to try to read it. Ranger flipped his phone shut and leaned back into me.

"Mr. DalBo is a guest in our country," Harry explained as if I didn't know. "He's not very familiar with our customs."

He cleared his throat and was obviously waiting for my response. I couldn't figure out if he was making excuses for DalBo or apologizing for him.

"He tried to have me killed," I repeated. "I'm pretty sure that means the same in any culture."

I was amazed at how calm my voice stayed and I couldn't quite believe I was talking to Harry the Hammer like that. I was sure that if I looked back on this conversation, I'd faint. And if my mom ever found out, I'd be banned from dinners for weeks. But at that moment, I was finally telling him what I thought, since I really didn't have anything to lose.

"Mr. DalBo did not act on my orders," Harry clarified.

I never thought he did, if anything I thought Guzzarella and DalBo were working together and I appreciated Harry's honesty. After all, he didn't have to say anything about it.

"I didn't say he did," I said, throwing his earlier words back at him.

"Ms. Plum," Harry said, a little louder now. "I think it would be best if you joined me for lunch today. I do not like to discuss these matters over the phone."

That made sense. Harry didn't have a reputation for being stupid. If what was said about him was true, nobody had ever been able to pin anything on him, neither murder nor extortion or even gambling.

That he would want to meet with me alone went without saying. I just didn't know if I was ready to. Even equipped with a microphone and a GPS, I wasn't sure I would be able to face Harry alone.

"Excuse me," I said. "I have a call on the other line, one moment." I hit the 'Talk' button without waiting for his answer and looked up at Ranger.

"He wants to meet me," I said. "Alone."

Ranger nodded. "That makes sense. Are you up for it?"

No, I wasn't. But here was my chance to talk to the only person who could possible get DalBo away from me. Harry probably knew more about the Guzzarella murder than even the cops. But he'd never agree to meet with me and Ranger, or even in a public place.

And then I realized what was happening. I was afraid. And not afraid of Harry either, well at least not most of all. DalBo had managed to intimidate me, and I hated being intimidated. I imagined what my Dad would say if he knew I'd let myself be intimidated by a German, although in all fairness, DalBo was a big motherfucker regardless of origin.

As if Ranger could feel the change in me, he squeezed my shoulder as I sat up straighter.

"This one's up to you, Babe," he said softly. "You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

I pushed the button to get back to Harry. "If you can guarantee my safety, I'd be happy to meet you," I said before I could change my mind and held my breath.

I'd just pretty much challenged Harry the Hammer. I knew that if he agreed, he'd consider me his responsibility and whoever would try to harm me would have to answer to him. Harry wouldn't be able to keep me safer than Ranger, but he had different connections.

I held my breath while I waited for him to reply. He didn't even hesitate.

"You are under my protection while you work for me, Stephanie. If you remember how to get to my house, I'll be expecting you at noon."

He hung up before I had a chance to reply and I let out a long breath as I slumped against Ranger.

"I'll meet him at noon."

I felt Ranger nod against me. "With any luck, he'll be able to end this whole mess."

I looked up at him. "I'm never that lucky."

He cupped my chin in his hand and brushed his lips over mine. When he pulled away, he was smiling. "That's the cynical girl I fell in love with."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he winked, then he pulled us both up off the bed and nudged me towards the bathroom.

"Let's get cleaned up and discuss it over breakfast," he said. "Rain check on the rain check?" He bent down to kiss my naked shoulder, then he closed the bathroom door behind me instead of joining me.

I sighed because I envied Ranger's control. For him, the phone call had put a damper on our social agenda, it was as if he could switch his urges on and off. Of course I knew he was right, but every now and then, a little irresponsibility wouldn't be too bad for Ranger, I thought. Well tonight, I'd cash in those rain checks whether he wanted or not. And I really couldn't see him not wanting after two dry days…but I could think of plenty of ways we could make up for the long drought.

I adjusted the water and stepped under the hot spray, making a mental note to suggest the installation of a shower massager. I could always pretend it would work wonders for tensed muscles, that wasn't even too far from the truth.

When I joined Ranger in the dining room, he was dressed in RangeMan black and his hair was damp from the shower. I gave him a disappointed pout and he chuckled.

"You know we would still be in the shower if I'd joined you," he said, filling my coffee cup.

I sighed as I sat down and he handed me a file.

"You need to read this before you visit Harry," he instructed. "I called a meeting to get you miked and 'dressed', we have twenty minutes."

I leafed through the file. There was more detailed information on where and how Guzzarella had been found, but thankfully no pictures. The next section was everything RangeMan had been able to find on DalBo, including Hartung.

I put the file down and took a sip of my coffee. "Did I tell you he wants me to come alone?"

Ranger shrugged and finished his coffee. "I just assumed that was the arrangement. I can't see him wanting a bunch of witnesses, he didn't stay in business this long by being careless."

"He said I'm under his protection now. Do you think he can keep me safe?"

"It depends on whether or not he takes DalBo seriously enough," Ranger said.

"And you don't think…" I started but had to swallow the lump in my throat and wet my lips. "You think it's okay?"

Ranger stood up and walked around to my side, squatting down next to me. He put his finger under my chin to lift it up so our eyes met.

"You will go by yourself, but you will not be alone," he said softly. "We'll be outside, all around the compound. We'll be listening to every word. I will have three teams ready to get you out of there if necessary. You can do this."

I nodded. I didn't even know why I was so nervous all of a sudden. This was Harry! Harry had always been nice to me, it was his lackeys that were the problem. I had no reason to believe this visit would be any different from the last one.

That was it, I figured. My last visit, accompanied by Guzzarella and DalBo, that's what had me scared now. And I knew they wouldn't be there this time, but it didn't help.

"Babe," Ranger said into my thoughts, taking me by the shoulders. "It'll be okay. I promise."

I leaned forward, buried my face in his chest and inhaled his scent. I could feel his heart beat.

"Maybe you can come with me," I suggested. "Just you, not a whole entourage. Harry may allow that."

"He might," Ranger said, running his fingers through my hair. "But I'm of more use outside. If he is planning anything, which I don't think he is, I can get you out faster from the outside."

I pulled back my head so I could look at him but kept my arms around him. "You're not making sense. You don't think he's planning anything, but you don't' think it's safe for you inside."

"Let's start over," he suggested, tracing my cheekbone with his thumb. "Why are you afraid to see Harry? You said he never threatened you."

I chewed on my lower lip. Ranger was too rational. I doubted he understood the concept of irrational fear.

"He didn't. He never has. But his men have," I pointed out.

"One of them is dead," Ranger said. "Another cannot be found and yet another is in RangeMan custody."

"If someone tried to kill you less than 24 hours ago, you'd be a little anxious, too. It's easy for you to stay calm."

Ranger tipped my chin up again and our eyes met. "It's worse for me. Just trust me on that. And don't mistake rationality with lack of caring."

Now I could see it in his eyes too. He wasn't as calm and detached as he seemed. His eyes showed concern.

"I don't know if I can do it," I admitted.

Ranger took my hands in his. "You don't have to. Call him back, tell him it'll have to be somewhere else, some other time."

"Nice try," I said. "You think by telling me I won't have to do it I will want to do it."

"What?"

I got up and started pacing. "Excellent reverse psychology. That's it, isn't it?"

Ranger crossed his arms over his chest, the almost smile playing around his lips. "You think I'm trying to tell you not to do it so you'll do it?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Well yeah. You're counting on my rebellious side to do exaclty what you don't want me to do."

Okay, I admitted to myself, that didn't sound much like Ranger. If he wanted me to do something he'd say 'You should do this' rather than 'It's up to you'.

I chewed on my lip some more. "You mean if I won't do it, it's okay?"

"If it's okay with you, yes."

Damn. He just had to say it, didn't he? He could have absolved me of any bad conscience by saying it was okay, but no, he just volleyed the ball back into my court. So now I had to ask myself if I was okay with being chicken.

I stopped pacing and Ranger walked over to me. "Why don't you take some time to think about this," he suggested. "Let it sink in. Then tell us when you're ready."

That sounded like a good idea, especially because it allowed me to procrastinate. I smiled at him. "Okay."

He leaned down and kissed me lightly. "Ready for the meeting?"

I checked my watch. "I have time for breakfast." The more procrastination, the better.

Ranger chuckled and turned, picking his utility belt off the chair back. "I'll see you downstairs," he said, kissed me again and left.

I turned to get something to eat out of the kitchen, but stopped when I looked back at the dining table. It looked a lot like it had the week before, my chair was pulled back, some papers were on the table. But the day after Ranger had come home from his mission, it had looked different to him. He had pushed me against it trying to defend himself from the mace I sprayed at him and that had somehow made him think he was capable of hurting me.

I shook my head, continuing my way into the kitchen. If your girlfriend sprays you, I think you have the right to push her back. That doesn't make you a wife beater. Thank God Ranger had realized that. This time, I would probably have been dead without his help.

I pulled the fridge door open and began to rummage through the contents, trying to distract myself. This was not the time to think about our relationship, I was way too emotional. I'd begun to choke up when I looked at the dining table, for crying out loud!

Ten minutes later, I met Ranger and the guys in the conference room. I hadn't heard from them since last night, but I didn't know if that was because nothing had happened or because they'd wanted to let me rest.

Lester patted my shoulder as I sat down next to him. "How're you feeling, Steph?"

"I'm okay," I said, smiling at him. "Since I know I can count on you to have my back."

I nudged him with my shoulder and we both laughed, although I hadn't really been kidding. I was so glad I didn't have to tackle this alone, although I wondered why I was so emotional at the thought of it.

Ranger started the meeting. "Steph got a phone call from Harry Garibaldi this morning. He wants a meeting."

Tank looked from Ranger to me. "Are you up for it?"

Had Ranger told him about our discussion? I cut my eyes to Ranger and he shook his head slightly, his ESP picking up my question, or maybe just being on my wavelength.

"I don't know," I told Tank truthfully. "I was hoping I'd know by noon."

Lester chuckled next to me and Hector grinned. I stuck my tongue out at them.

"What did he say?" Bobby wanted to know. Probably the transcript of the conversation hadn't been typed up yet.

"He mostly wanted an update on the…the job I'm supposed to do for him. I said his men were distracting me from doing the job and he wanted to talk in person." All true. I didn't know if Ranger or Tank had shared the details of my obligation to Harry with the guys. If they hadn't, it wasn't something I wanted to advertise, I'd never hear the end of it.

"Fair enough," Bobby said. "I wouldn't think he'd talk business on the phone."

"Right," Ranger continued. "Any news from the Trenton PD?" He looked at Tank.

Tank shook his head. "Negative. At least not the kind of news we're interested in."

He looked at his notes and smiled at me. "My guess is Steph still has a lot of friends on the department and they won't let the detectives even think about arresting her." He winked at me and I choked up again. What the hell!

When this was over, I was scheduling a girls' night with Lula, Connie and Mary Lou, I vowed. Then I'd have someone to talk about these emotional outbursts.

"Nothing new from Hartung either," Bobby jumped in. "We've been trying to talk to him, if you know what I mean, but we got nothing." He looked at Hector, then at me and back to Ranger.

"We're running out of time, since we don't want to keep him here too long in case he's missed."

"We're releasing him?" I asked incredulously.

Bobby snorted. "Not hardly. We're just letting Trenton PD take over."

"But then his lawyer will get him out on bail," I pointed out.

"Not if the DA sees what Hartung's done," Tank said. "And we'll make sure he gets the whole story."

I sighed in relief. I needed to know Hartung was behind bars so I wouldn't look over my shoulder every moment I wasn't inside the RangeMan building.

"What about DalBo?" I asked. "Are we still looking for him? Did we hear from him?"

"Yes," Tank said. "And no."

I frowned at him and he grinned. Ranger cleared his throat and Tank sobered. "We still have surveillance at his last known residence, the Sheraton in Trenton, but he hasn't been there in days. At this point we don't know where he is."

"So he could be waiting for me around the corner?" I asked, my pulse quickening. Why did I have to give myself these mental images?

Tank lowered his eyes. I'd hit the nail on the head.

"What do we know about him?" Ranger asked, looking at Lester.

Lester cut his eyes to me before he looked at Ranger.

"I didn't get much on him in Trenton. But then I only started looking for stuff yesterday after Steph…" he gestured at me.

"Get me everything there is," Ranger instructed. "I want to know where he gets his hair cut and what he has for breakfast in the morning!"

"Everything," Lester confirmed and nodded. "If there's anything to be found I'll have it by noon."

I knew what had happened. With Guzzarella's murder, RangeMan had focused on me, not DalBo. Tank had monitored the Trenton PD, Bobby and Hector had tried to get Hartung to talk, but they hadn't focused on the one missing link, DalBo, because that had been a dead end. But I knew Lester would rather bite his tongue off than tell Ranger that. I made a mental note to help Lester out as soon as I'd decided whether or not to meet Harry.

"If Stephanie decides to do this," Ranger said. "I will need four teams for the backup."

"Count me in," Lester said at once. Bobby and Hector nodded. "I'm in," Tank said.

"Tank, we're team 1," Ranger said. "Bobby and Hector are Team 2. Santos, you'll be with Junior in the control room, Team 3." He ignored Lester's frown and continued. "According to the schedule, Zero and Hal are also available. We meet again in one hour to finalize the game plan."

"But I…" I started but Ranger held up his hand, almost-smiling.

"Regardless of your decision. If you won't go, we cancel the plan. The important thing is that we're prepared."

He nodded at Tank. "Meeting adjourned."

"You _can_ count on me, you know," Lester told me as he got up and I smiled at him gratefully as he winked and followed Bobby and Hector out of the conference room.

"We're all with you, Hon," Tank confirmed, gathering up his notes.

"I know," I said softly, smiling at him, watching him leave the conference room. I loved the Merry Men.

Ranger cleared his throat after Tank had left and I got up to walk out with him. "Since when is he calling you 'Hon'?" he asked out of the blue.

It took me a moment to realize what he was talking about. "Tank?"  
"Yes, Tank," he said, holding the conference room door open for me.

I had no idea, but I felt the need to lighten the mood after the meeting. "I don't know. Jealous?"

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him challengingly. He pulled a lock of my hair and grunted. "Just vigilant," he said.

I should have known he would find a fancier term for it, but I still suspected he was a teeny bit jealous. It was almost ironic how Lula's plan was still working without me even trying, especially now that I didn't need it anymore. Go figure.

I turned towards my cube, but Ranger held me by my elbow. "Where're you going?"

"To my desk," I replied in a 'duh' tone.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and turned me back towards the hallway.

"How about you think about it upstairs? You don't want to be distracted right now."

"But I _want_ to be distracted," I pointed out and turned in his embrace. "I can't think straight if I concentrate too hard."

He looked like he was thinking about trying to convince me, but then he just shook his head slightly. "I'll be in my office if you need me."

I saluted him and he rolled his eyes and pulled me towards him. He brushed his lips over mine and cupped my ass in his hands.

"Smartass," he said and kissed me, light and innocent. And then he was gone.

It crossed my mind that what I would most like to do was go shopping or get my hair cut or something like that, the total distraction. And the perfect escape. But I figured I'd have an escort if I left the building now, and honestly I wasn't too keen on leaving RangeMan anyway, not with DalBo still out there, so I just sat down at my desk and logged on to my computer.

I'd just opened the search programs when Lester came over and pulled up a chair. He was holding a thick file folder and jerked his head at my monitor.

"Is that how you decide if you're willing to go into the lion's den?"

"No," I said defiantly. "I'm going to find DalBo, that'll make my decision easier."

Lester held up the file in his hand. "I had a feeling you'd say that, so I brought what I've been able to find. Problem is," he opened the folder in the middle, "Some of it is in German. You speak German?"

I just glared at him and took the file. He knew I didn't speak any languages beside English and Jersian. I glanced at the information on the open page, then I flipped back to the first page and copied his name into the search program.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not interested in what he did in Germany, I want to find him here."

"What if he is known for carrying several guns and a knife at the same time?" Lester asked. "Would you want to know that?"  
"That I would see," I retorted and stuck my tongue out.

He scoffed but smiled and made sure I filled out the necessary blanks on the application's template before I sent it off.

"I need some coffee," I announced, knowing we'd have a couple minutes before all the information would be back.

"You know Steph, I did run this one," Lester let me know. He reached for the folder but I pulled it out of his reach.

"But you don't have my Spidey sense when reading it," I said and got up to go to the kitchen.

I could feel Lester roll his eyes behind my back and heard him sigh as he got up to join me. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards him.

"Good thing you're so cute, otherwise you couldn't get away with being such a pain in the ass."

I could see Ranger's office door was open, but I wasn't sure he'd heard us. Lester and I always had this innocent banter going on, but I didn't know if Ranger was in a mood today, after his comment about Tank. I didn't want Lester to get into trouble because Ranger was 'vigilant'. But it was something to keep in mind if I ever thought Ranger wasn't paying enough attention to me. And maybe, just maybe, if I played my cards right, I could convince Lester to 'distract' Joyce?

I stole a sideways glance at him. Naah, I thought, that would be cruel.

"Relax Sweetheart," Lester said, misunderstanding my tension. "We'll find him. How could anyone escape the two of us?"

It was impossible not to grin when Lester turned on his charm. I'd been right, he was the perfect distraction.

We got our coffees and each returned to our own desk. The search results were back and I printed them out rather than reading them on my monitor. I wanted to read them so carefully that I would find something between the lines that would give me a clue. A foreigner couldn't just vanish in Trenton, someone must have helped him, someone had to know.

I took the printout, the file and my coffee, waved at Lester on my way out of the control room and went upstairs after all. Now it was not to brood and to make a decision, but to work, so I actually wanted to be alone.

I sat down on the big couch in Ranger's living room and folded my legs under me, then I went to work.

Eric DalBo had a long rep sheet. How he'd gotten past homeland security was no big mystery, greasing palms was his family's business, and his family was friends with the Family here.

There were pictures dating back a few years, and he hadn't changed much. I studied them because I really hadn't looked at DalBo closely before. When I met him, he was one of Guzzarella's goons. He was there, but I hadn't paid much attention to what he looked like. He'd been the one to grab me in front of my house, and yet I had totally focused on what I presumed to be his boss. I only remembered him as huge and strong.

In the latest picture, taken at his arrival in the States at Newark Airport, he was smiling and he actually looked handsome, in an Arnold Schwarzenegger kind of way. His height was listed as 6'7" and his weight at 260 pounds. I could see him as a bodyguard, not necessarily as a killer.

Mental head slap. If every killer looked like a killer, we didn't need judges and juries, I reminded myself and continued reading.

Halfway through, I got a nagging feeling. My Spidey sense was tingling. What was it? Had I missed something? I reread everything.

"That's it!" I said out loud half way through my second re-read. "Hah! We're more alike than I thought!"

TBC

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A/N: Okay ... Reader's Choice, folks ... what do you want to happen next? Smut? What kind? Sweet and romantic, hot and passionate, in bed? In the shower? In the backseat? In public? Or would you rather see action? Drama? Heartbreak?? Your reviews will decide what happens… 


	21. Chapter 21

Again I must apologize for being so late. Maybe I should write a story of my life right now instead, but that may just be too pitiful...

Thank you so much for your kind reviews and messages. I haven't forgotten about the smut, don't worry, but it didn't fit here. It will be coming!

A special thank you to Stayce for all the help and encouragement, and especially for listening to me whine!!

Disclaimer: All characters are borrowed from JE, the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 21

I went to grab my phone off the nightstand, but one look at my watch changed my mind. If the meeting wasn't over yet, it was in full swing. No way was I going to interrupt that.

It had taken me longer than I'd expected to read through the reports and to get some kind of action plan. I'd spent over an hour reading up on DalBo, and somehow I was less scared of him now that I'd discovered his weakness. Food.

It was a weakness I could identify with and that had taken some of the fear out of me. I'd have a hard time trying to tell Ranger how I'd discovered it in the reports about DalBo, it was a hunch and not one of those provable facts that he liked. Ranger usually didn't say anything, but his look told me exactly what he thought about my spidey sense and it mostly said I was amusing him. This one had my spidey sense tingling like crazy though, I was positive I had it right.

There were several entries about meetings in the reports. DalBo always conducted his meetings in Germany at restaurants. But not at Italian restaurants, even though his parents were Italians who had immigrated to Germany, Eric DalBo always got together with his cronies at traditional German restaurants. And always just one of two restaurants, he didn't vary it.

When he arrived in Trenton and started working for Harry, he'd become a frequent customer at the German deli on Broad Street almost immediately. It would have to be very frequent for it to make the report, no other places were listed at all.

He was a silent partner in several companies that manufactured or supplied food to grocery stores, and he was under investigation by Europol for smuggling food. Eric DalBo was a foodie. It was so weird, it was funny.

I even had a plan how we could find him, it looked like all we had to do was stake out Elke's Deli, he'd show up when he was hungry. That sounded so silly, I knew Ranger was going to laugh at me. He didn't know what it was like to crave real food and crave it in such a way that nothing else would do.

I went to the bathroom to freshen up to get ready to meet with Harry. I still had to come up with what to tell Ranger. He would definitely ask what had made up my mind. I could just tell him that I'd been afraid of DalBo, not of Harry, but I was wondering if that was the whole truth. And I seriously questioned my sanity if the knowledge that a psychopath loved food as much as I did made him less scary.

That had to mean there was something else I'd read in the reports, right? Something sane? I had to re-check. If this Hartung guy was feeling chatty, I could always just ask him if I was right, but something told me if Hector hadn't had any luck, I would strike out as well. I wasn't really good at this interrogation stuff anyway.

I was re-reading the reports a fourth time, my notes were several pages long, when I heard the locks in the door tumble.

Ranger joined me in the living room where I was sitting on the couch a few seconds later. "Everything okay?" he asked, squatting down in front of me.

I nodded and waved the file for emphasis. "I went over DalBo's file."

"I was worried since nobody'd heard from you. If you want to make your lunch date, you'd have to leave right about now. Do you want to go to the meeting?"

I jumped up, almost knocking Ranger over. But he was quick enough to sidestep me. I'd totally lost all track of time! It was 11:15.

"Yep, I want to meet Harry. I figure he's the only one with the answers we need."

I practically ran into the bedroom to change into a somewhat more respectable outfit of brown slacks and a white blouse. Ranger caught up with me when I rushed into the bathroom to put on my make-up. I saw him frown at me in the mirror.

"You sure you okay?"  
"I'm sure. I guess I was just too overwhelmed this morning." At least that's what I was telling myself in lieu of a real explanation for my change of mind.

"Want me to come with?" Ranger asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

I applied another coat of mascara, then I shook my head 'no'. "I think Harry will be…uhm..." I was searching for the right word.

"More comfortable without me there?" Ranger offered and the hint of a smile played around his lips.

"Yeah, that's it," I confirmed and returned his smile. "Not that you could make anyone uncomfortable…" We both snorted. Ranger was well known for his intimidation routine.

"Of course not," he agreed and stepped behind me, wrapping his arms around me and looking at me in the mirror.

"We need to dress you properly," he said and I knew what he meant. I was probably to wear an ear piece and a microphone, if not even a camera. I had a feeling Ranger was going to be super careful this time.

"How'd the meeting go?" I asked him, applying lip gloss.

"We're all set, just waiting for your go-ahead," he said and smiled again.

Fifteen minutes later, we were in the conference room going over all the details one final time. The Merry Men had all been assigned locations and tasks in the earlier meeting, but Ranger repeated everything for my benefit and to make sure there were no questions.

I was wearing a microphone and an independent panic button and along with the three-team-backup, I had to admit I felt pretty safe.

Ranger took my hand as we all got up to leave the conference room and pulled me towards him.

"It's not too late to back out, you know," he said, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sure we can find out everything that Harry knows ourselves."

I grinned. "Are you being nice or are you afraid for me?"

"A little bit of both I guess," he admitted, grinning back. "I know he's safe as far as mobsters go, but the thought of you alone in there doesn't exactly cheer me up."

"You're worried about me," I said.

Ranger almost-nodded. "Promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise," I all but whispered.

He lowered his head and sealed the promise with a soft kiss, tightening his grip on my hips until I was pressed against him. When I felt his tongue playing around my lips, I relaxed and opened my mouth, touching my tongue to his.

We were alone in the conference room by now and I was grateful for that as I moaned into Ranger's mouth when his tongue stroked mine. My hands were fisted in his shirt and it took all my willpower to not rip it off of him.

He pulled back a little and broke the kiss, cupping my face in his hands. "We're procrastinating."

"I know," I admitted. "But doesn't it feel great?"

He smiled at that, his nose less than an inch from mine. "When we get back, your ass is mine."

I returned his smile. I just loved it when he went all caveman and I especially appreciated it right before our 'mission', it did wonders to distract me.

We rode down the elevator together. The Merry Men were already seated in their cars, only Ranger's seat was still empty next to Tank. My Hummer sat empty next to their Explorer.

Ranger slid a hand under my sweater and I gasped. "Just turning it on, babe," he smirked. 'Yeah, by all means,' I thought.

"Testing one," Ranger said, standing in front of me by my car's driver's side.

Hector did a thumbs up from the passenger seat of his SUV and Ranger opened my driver's door for me. "You'll be fine," he assured me and squeezed my hand.

I hung on to that thought on the way over to Harry's compound. I had paid attention the last time, but I would have never found the mansion again. I was following the GPS' directions, Tank had programmed my destination into it. We had left the garage in a convoy, now only one SUV remained behind me. I knew Zero and Hal were taking a different route to end up around the corner from Harry's place, Bobby and Hector were going to end up half a block from them and Tank and Ranger were going to park across the street. The plan was to look so obvious that they wouldn't look around and find the backup.

I kept telling myself that I had nothing to fear from Harry, that he had promised me his protection. Still, I was so nervous my palms were sweaty. I tried to have the conversation with him in my head to prepare, but I was unable to come up with the right questions. I would just have to improvise.

A half hour later, I rolled to a stop at the white iron gate that sealed off Harry's compound. I didn't remember stopping the last time, so probably the gates had been open awaiting our arrival.

A short Italian guy in a black uniform emerged from the tiny guard house in front of the gate.

"May I help you?" he asked when I rolled down my window.

"I'm Stephanie Plum," I said. "Mr. Garibaldi is expecting me." I was mighty glad I usually paid attention when watching movies so I knew what to say in these situations.

The watchman checked his clipboard and nodded, then he disappeared back into his guard house and pressed a button, or whatever it took to remotely open the gate, because it swung open moments later.

See, I told myself, no biggie. I hadn't even been searched for weapons!

I drove down the road to the mansion and wondered how I could have missed how beautiful it all was last time. Then again, at the time I'd feared for my life, so that explained a lot.

In any case, it was obvious this compound was Harry's pride and joy and he made sure it was well cared for. There were incredibly green lawns to both sides of the driveway and hedges and bushes and trees were all trimmed to perfection.

The massive front door to the house opened just as I approached and the same butler as the last time opened the door, with the same blank expression on his face. My phone rang just as I killed the engine.

"We have a visual on you Babe," Ranger said when I picked up. "We can also hear you loud and clear."

My heart rate slowed down to almost normal. I wasn't alone in this! "Thank you," I said before I lost my nerve and disconnected.

Just as I put the phone back into my pocket, my car door opened. Harry's butler took a step back and held his hand out for me. Right, I reminded myself, I was a guest this time.

"Thank you," I said as I took his hand and he helped me out of the car. I followed him to the front door.

"Mr. Garibaldi is waiting for you in the lunch room," he informed me and I followed him down the marble tiled front hall. 'James' finally opened a pair of wooden double doors and announced me. "Miss Plum has arrived," he said as he took a step aside.

I took a deep breath and walked past him, towards the large mahogany dining table Harry was sitting at. In any other house, this room would probably have been the formal dining room, with its table large enough for twelve and the mahogany china cabinets lining the wall. For Harry, it was the lunch room.

"Miss Plum," he exclaimed and jumped up. He was wearing a red cotton sweater and khakis, a look that shouldn't have worked but did, and his hair looked freshly cut.

"Mr. Garibaldi," I replied for lack of anything better to say and willed my feet to walk closer. "Thank you for inviting me." I knew that he knew he could call me Stephanie. But if I insisted on that, he might ask me to call him Harry, and that would feel to weird. I've never talked _about_ him as anything else but Harry the Hammer, but it would be a whole other ball of wax to call him that to his face.

It was just me and him in the room after the butler closed the doors behind him. The table was already set with soup and sandwiches, glasses were filled with ice water. Just a friendly business lunch. Except one of the people having lunch was a renowned mobster who had a reputation for getting rid of people that looked at him the wrong way. At least that's how the rumor went.

He motioned for me to sit and I mechanically sat down. My throat was suddenly dry so I was glad I didn't have to ask for water. And then the smell of the cold cuts and pickled vegetables wafted into my nose and my stomach growled loudly.

"Eat, eat," Harry encouraged me, taking a sandwich roll himself.

I've always been an emotional eater, and my anxiety was bound to get better if I started eating. Besides, I really was hungry.

Two fully loaded rolls and a glob of potato salad later, I sat back, much calmer now. Halfway through my first sandwich, I'd managed to block Harry out and think myself to my happy place, a Macy's shoe sale. Now it was time for business.

I cleared my throat. "About Vinnie and Joyce…" I started, hoping he'd take it from there. He did.

"It appears my associates have interfered with your schedule," Harry said.

I gripped the table top, telling myself to stay calm. I wanted information from him, I reminded myself. If I flew off the handle, I'd upset him and he wouldn't tell me anything.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. "That's one way to put it," I managed to put it diplomatically.

Harry was watching me carefully, maintaining his calm exterior, but his eyes belied him. He had his elbow on the armrest of his chair and his fingers steepled under his chin. He maintained eye contact for a moment longer and then he sighed, pulling back to sit up straight.

"As I told you before, Mr. Guzzarella and Mr. DalBo were not acting on my orders."

"But they were working for you," I shot back. "They were the ones who brought me here the first time."

He nodded. "Have you ever been an employer, Stephanie?"

I knew he knew the answer to that, so I just shook my head 'no'.

"Then you wouldn't know what it's like," he said and sighed again. If he was looking for sympathy, he was talking to the wrong woman, I thought, but didn't say anything.

"Most of my associates do as they're told, I know where they are and what they're doing at all times. Guzzarella was different. He was, shall we say, in a probationary period. And now I have to explain to my good friend Ivan why his son is in trouble."

Yeah, I would have loved to have Harry's problems. I had to explain to his 'good friend Ivan' why his son wanted me dead and I had no clue! I'd noticed that Harry had had no problem talking about Guzzarella in the past tense and wondered how much he'd had to do with the murder.

"DalBo had me kidnapped," I said, anxious to get the discussion back to the topic that interested me. "And when the cops stopped us, he or his men ran away. I was taken to a hospital where he sent an 'associate' to kill me." I resisted making airquotes, but I put as much sarcasm as possible into the word 'associate'.

"I know," Harry said and nodded for emphasis. "And I truly regret any problems my employees caused for you. I'm trying to tell you that they acted on their own accord though, not on orders from me."

Now it was my turn to sigh. "I know that. But I was hoping you could help me find DalBo to…uhm…let me get back to my job."

That's all I wanted, after all. True, I let Harry decide what job that would be, but still.

"I wish it was that easy," Harry sighed. "I only learned last night where Guzzarella was, there hasn't been a sign of Eric. That's the reason I'm avoiding his father's calls at the moment. I'd rather not admit he outsmarted me. Ivan and I don't have that kind of friendship."

As if I really cared about what relationship he had with anyone! Another deep breath. "Well I can't take care of Joyce Barnhardt if I have to look over my shoulder all the time, expecting another attack from DalBo!"

Harry seemed to be thinking about my statement, or maybe he just had indigestion. But when he opened his mouth to respond, a knock on the door interrupted him. The butler entered and cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, Mr. Garibaldi. There seems to be a problem at the front gate that requires your attention."

God, did everyone around here sound like they went to an English boarding school? I felt like I was thousands of miles away from Jersey instead of a few miles from Trenton.

Harry frowned momentarily, then he remembered I was there and excused himself.

"Have some dessert while you wait," he said and gestured at the mousse au chocolate.

But I had lost my appetite by now. What did the butler mean by 'problem'? Had they spotted the Merry Men? That didn't seem like something they'd bother the boss with, I figured. Unless of course, Ranger had decided to join us, but he was listening to our conversation, there was no reason for him to 'storm the castle'.

Harry moved past me to join the butler, who again closed the doors as soon as Harry had walked through them.

As soon as I was alone in the room, I fished my cell phone out of my purse and dialed Ranger.

"Hi Mom," I said, just in case someone was listening in.

"Don't ever call me that again," Ranger said, but I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I was wondering if you'd heard the latest gossip," I said, pretty proud of my clever decoy.

"I heard the exchange with the butler," he said. "We're checking what could be the problem right now."

"Did you see anything?" I asked, chewing my lower lip. I didn't like the fact that there might be a problem RangeMan didn't know about.

"Hold that thought, I'll call you back," Ranger said by way of replying and disconnected.

Well, that couldn't be good. I listened for any telltale signs of trouble, raised voices, slamming doors, gunshots, but I couldn't hear anything beyond the dining room.

A few minutes went by and I was drumming my fingers on the tabletop. Should I keep waiting? Should I go find Harry? Waiting was one of my least favorite things to do, I thought I deserved credit for holding out this long. It may have been five minutes when I jumped up and practically ran to the door. I pressed my ear against it, and now I could hear muffled voices.

If I stormed out of the room only to interrupt Harry and some other mobster in their negotiations, I might never live it down. But on the other hand, if I stayed on this side of the door, I might die of curiosity.

I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. Another deep breath and I slowly pulled the door open. And then my eyes widened and I slammed it shut again, or rather attempted to, because by that time, the black-clad muscle man with the gun in his hand had slammed his hand against it and was holding it open.

Shit! Why had I left my gun at home? Oh yeah, because I didn't want to be frisked by Harry's men.

I'd only seen the guy for a split second, but I was almost positive it wasn't one of the Merry Men. If it had been, he would have said something to make me recognize him. I pushed against the door with my entire body, even though I knew the guy had at least 100 pounds on me and could push me away like a rag doll. I just felt I had to at least try.

"Keep pushing and I'll shoot my way in," Mr. Muscle said and I really couldn't argue with that logic.

I pressed the panic button at my belt and took a step forward, lifting my hands so he could see I was unarmed. The door hit me in the back and I was jolted forward, but I managed to keep my balance. I closed my eyes briefly to say a short prayer, then I turned around.

It was easy to see why I thought he could be a Merry Man. He was about 6'4" and easily over 250 pounds. Plus he was dressed all in black. And I could see in his eyes that he was all business as he leveled his gun at me.

"Sit down," he ordered, motioning towards the table with his gun.

Behind him, several men rushed past the room, also dressed in black, also none of Ranger's Men.

I did as I was told, since I didn't have any weapons on me. Even if I did, I would probably have been too flustered to use them, and he would have overpowered me easily anyway.

Now I heard shouting from somewhere close and it sounded like Harry.

At least I knew what the 'problem' had been now. Someone had broken into the house with what seemed like a small army. And that must have happened before I'd arrived because I was sure Ranger and his men would have interfered if they'd witnessed the operation.

I flinched at the sound of gunshots. Clearly, my companion didn't like the sound much either, because he took me by the arm and pulled me up, then he shoved me towards the door.

"We're leaving. Move!"

For some reason I was encouraged by the fact that he didn't seem to know what to do with me, I figured that meant he hadn't come here for me. And I hoped that meant he wasn't going to kill me. I considered asking questions and arguing with him, but he didn't look like he was in the mood to answer. He looked more like he'd consider it too much trouble to watch me if I resisted and might just as soon shoot me to shut me up. And truth be told, I didn't have much more fight in me after being harassed and kidnapped and what not in the days before.

He nudged me along around two corners. "Stop," he said just as I was about to walk the length of a corridor. "Open the door on your right."

I did and had a short panic attack at the blackness in front of me. He reached past me and flicked on the light, and I stared down a stairwell into the cellar.

Someone shouted 'Becker!' and my guide replied, "Here!". So now he had a name. Not that it would do me much good to know his name, but it was some information, I figured, not recognizing I was panicking and trying to focus on anything but the armed Hulk behind me.

"Stay down there," Becker ordered and pushed me so hard, I went ass over teakettle down the stairs.

I landed on the cement floor so hard that the air got knocked out of me and I took a moment to take inventory of my body. Miraculously, nothing seemed broken, although everything hurt.

Tomorrow I was going to hurt like a bitch - if I had a tomorrow, I couldn't help adding. I'd be sore and limping for a week.

I looked around the basement, looking for a way out or at least a weapon to defend myself.

The cellar was huge, the size of the whole houseAnd from the amount of stuff in it, Harry was a hoarder. Every piece of furniture, every book, every everything he had ever owned seemed to be crammed in there. And that kind of worked in my favor, I had my pick of useful stuff.

I couldn't know how long I had until they came for me, if they'd locked me in here for good or if they were planning to take me with them or…well, whatever, so I had to think and act fast.

There was an old laundry hamper in the nearest corner, and several garden tools were stuffed into it. I grabbed a child sized hoe and looked up the stairs. Becker had left the light on, so I could clearly see the door. And this hoe in my hand would be the perfect length to jam the door handle, it would at least delay whoever would try to come in.

I bumped against a stack of boxes on my way to the stairs and the first two tumbled over, spilling their contents over the floor. At least a dozen marbles rolled away and I got an idea. I picked them up and stuffed them in my jeans pocket and headed upstairs, pressing the panic button again, just to show whoever was monitoring it I was still alive. Where were they, anyway?

I stuck the hoe under the door handle and it actually held, it was the perfect length. As I went back downstairs, I turned off the light and placed marbles on each step. I knew were the single bare light bulb hung, and I planned to take it out next. If anyone came for me, I didn't want them to discover my little booby trap too soon.

After a couple minutes, my eyes had gotten used to the dim light that fell into the basement through the two tiny windows, and I grabbed a shovel from the garden tools to kill the light bulb. Becker must not have known what was down here, he practically armed me to the teeth. I held on to the shovel and looked around some more.

If I stacked up some boxes, I'd be able to reach a window, but they didn't look like I would fit through. And I really didn't want to get stuck halfway, I'd be helpless like Winnie Pooh.

But there didn't seem to be another exit either, which I thought was kind of weird. I would have expected a door to the outside or something. Nope, only one way in, only one way out.

With one hand on my hip, the other gripping the shovel, I glanced back upstairs. The door was now deep in shadow, I would be able to make out if it was open, even if whoever came in managed to open it soundlessly; I'd see the shaft of light.

Most likely, they'd be heavily armed, so I only had the element of surprise on my side.

I was pretty proud of how proactive I was. Cowering in a corner and awaiting my fate had never crossed my mind.

While I could hear muffled voices, the occasional gun shot and general mayhem from upstairs, no one tried the door handle, giving me time to find the 'perfect' hiding place.

I cleared a space under the stairs first, but then I realized I wouldn't be able to see who was coming. Since they might have a flashlight, I couldn't just stand at the bottom of the stairs either. I wanted to see them though, not just hide and wait to be found. My eyes fell on a drawer dresser that was standing against a wall, its drawers sticking out.

I dragged it over to the stairs and hid behind it. Yep, that would work. Now I was armed and had made sure I'd hear whoever would come and I had a place to jump out from.

A small part of me was still wondering what the hell was going on, who these people were and if Harry was okay. But a much bigger part just wanted the get the fuck out of here.

I tried crouching down behind the dresser, but my legs fell asleep, so then I pulled over a chair and placed it behind the dresser. I figured I'd get enough warning to jump up and get ready, I might as well be comfortable while I waited. At least it was the middle of summer so it wasn't too cold in the basement.

Unfortunately, waiting led to thinking. I went over all scenarios I could imagine. In the best case scenario one, Becker tripped on the stairs and broke his neck before he even landed. It wasn't the kindest one, but the easiest one for me. In the worst case scenario I could imagine, they came with gigantic flashlights and swept the marbles off the stairs as they descended them, then they swatted away my shovel and knocked me out with it. I was sort of hoping for the best thing I could imagine and fearing the worst.

But before I had a chance to rethink my strategy, the basement door crashed open as if it had been slammed with a battering ram.

I sent a short prayer heavenwards, took a deep breath and peeked over the dresser just as a large form filled the door frame and almost blocked out all the light from the hallway.

I wanted to stay calm and in control, but I couldn't help being scared, wondering if my plan would work and which one of the scenarios would actually play out.

TBC

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A/N: I swear I don't mean to interrupt Steph every time she's trying to have a serious conversation, it just happens...now, if Steph is somehow able to take care of the matter, should Harry forget about the job she owes him?? 


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Most characters are borrowed from JE, any similarities with living persons is coincidental, and the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Thank you so incredibly much for your reviews, they mean the world to me!

Merci beaucoup to Stayce for her ongoing support, editing and suggestions, without which the chapter wouldn't be possible.

Warning: Bad language and adult content

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 22

My heart was hammering so fast, I was afraid it could be heard all the way to the top of the stairs. To make matters worse, the woozy feeling I hadn't had in a few days now was back and I had the feeling the world around me was spinning a little. I closed my eyes and shook my head to clear it, willing the dizziness away. I had no time for that now.

I didn't see the hand reach out, but I heard the unmistakable click-click of the light switch being flipped up and down. I couldn't believe they would actually try the switch first. But then I reminded myself that they'd pretty much blown their cover when they'd crashed the door down, so there was no reason to be stealthy now.

I tried to hold my breath so I wouldn't hyperventilate as I waited for their next move, relying on my hearing because I didn't yet dare to peek over the dresser.

One of the wooden steps in the staircase creaked under the weight of the guy. It had to be a guy, from the way he blocked all light from the hall and his weight there was no way it was a girl. Unfortunately I couldn't remember if the stairs had creaked under my weight, I'd been too busy laying out the glass marbles. It didn't matter anyway, I already knew the guy was huge.

Another creak and then the scraping sound of a sole against wood. His foot had stepped on a marble!

Swearing loudly, he came tumbling down towards me and I finally straightened, lifting the shovel and holding it like a baseball bat.

In the dim light, I could tell by the way he fell that he was trained in 'absorbing a fall', or whatever you call it, because he landed on his feet, crouching but intact. I didn't give him time to come to his senses. I swung the shovel behind me for optimal momentum and then pulled it forward just as the man in front of me started to straighten.

And in the nano-second before the shovel connected with his head I recognized him, but it was too late to stop my swing. The shovel connected with the side of Tank's head with a loud CLANG, Tank swayed momentarily and then fell backwards like a felled oak, and I could have sworn the whole house shook with the impact when he hit the floor.

I dropped the shovel like a hot potato. "Tank!" I shrieked and knelt beside him.

"Steph!" came Ranger's voice from upstairs. "You okay down there?"

I was terrified I'd killed Tank and frantically searched for a pulse. The fact that I my hands were shaking too hard to stay put in any one place never occurred to me. Now relief washed over me at hearing Ranger's voice and tears of joy mixed with the tears of fear.

And then it hit me: I killed Tank! He'd come to rescue me and I'd killed him!

I couldn't hold back the hysteric giggle but I forced my body to keep functioning. I really just wanted to break down and crawl into a corner, but I had a life to save!

CPR, I thought, if he wasn't breathing I had to perform CPR. I reached out but couldn't even touch the middle of his chest so, without thinking, I sat up and swung one of my legs over his hips and straddled him.

I tried pushing the panic and fear back as far as possible and tried to remember how to do this. One hand on the other, right on the sternum, right? This had to work! Of course I had to scoot up higher if I also wanted to do mouth-to-mouth, because my mouth couldn't reach his from where I was sitting, even if I lay flat on his chest, which of course I couldn't do because I wanted him to breathe, not crush him. Although I doubted very much that my 125 pounds could crush him, but I didn't want to take the chance. And now I was babbling to myself. I told myself I was just nervous, I could do this.

When I pressed my hands down, nothing happened, and I was pretty sure something should move, so I leaned forward, balanced my weight on my knees, bunched my hands into a ball and pounded on his chest.

I barely noticed Ranger barreling down the stairs, slipping on yet another marble but managing to keep his balance by grabbing the railing. I only really _noticed_ him when he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up, shaking me gently. Tears were streaming down my face and I was struggling to get enough oxygen into my lungs to tell Ranger I wasn't the problem, I was fine, but Tank might be dead.

Ranger's grip on my shoulders tightened and I finally focused. His eyes were boring into mine and he was…grinning? Excuse me? I finally managed that deep breath but before I could say anything, Ranger chuckled.

"I sort of suspected you and Tank were close," he said, jerking his head at Tank on the floor. "But I though out of respect for me you'd keep it private."

My jaw dropped as I slowly processed what he was saying. What I'd interpreted as an intense stare was more of a…was he winking at me? I opened and closed my mouth fish-like and now Ranger chuckled and let go of my shoulders. He pulled me into a tight embrace instead.

"Tank's fine," he said close to my ear. "Give him a minute. Glad you're okay, Babe."

"How do you…"

A loud groan interrupted me and I turned my head in time to see Tank move.

"He's okay!" I shrieked and struggled out of Ranger's arms to kneel next to Tank again. "He's okay!" I repeated somewhat saner, looking at Ranger.

Ranger shook his head, still grinning. "Told ya."

Much, much later I realized Ranger had assessed the situation much faster because he had remained calm the whole time. If my hands hadn't been trembling so bad I probably would have felt Tank's pulse and noticed that he'd been breathing the whole time. Ranger said the exactly right thing to distract me and bring me back from my hysteria.

Tank slowly sat up and rubbed his head. "What happened?" he asked, looking at Ranger.

Ranger inclined his head towards me. "You found Steph."

Tank turned his head slowly and I gave him my most innocent smile and a finger wave.

His gaze fell from me to the shovel on the floor to the stairs. "Did you rig the stairs somehow?" he asked, still rubbing his head.

I stood up and dusted myself off, still in the process of calming down. "Glass marbles," I explained.

Ranger snorted and shook his head again, closing the distance between us. "Here we came to help you thinking you were the damsel in distress."

He held his hand out to Tank and helped him up. "When you were fully in charge of the situation." When Tank was back on his feet Ranger turned to me.

"Proud of you Babe," he said softly and pulled me back into his arms.

"I didn't know it was you," I said as if that wasn't obvious. "I couldn't know who would come down those stairs."

"Never a dull moment, Steph," Tank said and grinned.

Phew. Guess I wasn't going to be shipped to that third world country.

I leaned into Ranger and took a couple deep breaths. "What happened?" I asked when I felt like myself again?

"You weren't Harry's only guest," Ranger said, as if _that _wasn't obvious.

I took a step back so I could give him The Look. He chuckled and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Let's get out of here and I'll tell you the whole thing," he said as he nudged me towards the stairs. Tank was almost upstairs already, watching his step.

"Where's Harry? Is he okay?" I wanted to know.

"He got a couple bruises, but he'll be fine," Ranger said. "He's upstairs now, the paramedics are with him."

I stopped. "The para…you called the cops?"

Ranger cleared the lower steps by swiping his foot over it. "No."

I rolled my eyes but let him lead me upstairs without pushing for more. We both knew he'd tell me everything I wanted to know later.

Upstairs, there were a few open doors, a few decorative tables in the hall were upended, but other than that, everything looked normal. I didn't see the butler, he was probably looking after Harry.

Bobby was waiting at the front door and grinned when he saw me. "Remind me never to invite you over for lunch," he said and turned before he could see the Italian hand signal I gave him in return.

"Looks like I missed all the action," I said to Ranger, looking around in the empty foyer.

"And that's a good thing," he replied and kissed my temple before he took his arm off me and put his hand in the small of my back to guide me out the door.

Bobby waved at me from the driver's side of my Hummer and started the engine.

"You're riding with me," Ranger said as I watched Tank take the seat next to Bobby.

"Drive carefully," I warned Bobby and they both laughed at that. Even though I hadn't destroyed a car in months, it was still funny, I guess.

I glared at them but they ignored me as they drove by. Ranger held my door open for me.

"We should stop by the ER on our way back," he said and I knew he was trying for a casual tone.

"I'm fine," I said in my best 'end of discussion' tone and fastened my seatbelt.

Ranger stood in the open door, looking at me. His expression wasn't quite neutral, I thought I saw some exasperation there. I took his hand and squeezed it.

"If you don't believe me I'll let you inspect me," I said and winked, looking at him through lowered lashes.

That got an almost smile and a lot of expelled air, and he closed my door and walked around the front of the car.

"Okay," he finally said as he took the driver's seat and started the car. I hadn't really meant it as a question, but I didn't say anything.

As long as I was avoiding another visit to the ER, I was happy. Chances were they would keep me if they saw today's injuries in addition to the ones from the car crash. As if on cue, my head started pounding and I closed my eyes and leaned back. I could feel Ranger's eyes on me.

"I'm just tired," I tried, not sure if I could convince Ranger. I didn't need a doctor, I needed a hot bath and Ranger!

"We have a debriefing when we get to the office," Ranger said and put the car in gear.

I didn't open my eyes, I had no desire to see Harry's house ever again, I just wanted to leave.

"You don't have to attend though, I can tell you everything later."

I jerked my head up and winced, regretting the sudden movement as pain shot through my head again. I saw Ranger's look but ignored it. "No way! I want to know what the hell was going on!"

He cut his eyes to the road then back at me, but didn't respond. He didn't have to, 'We'll see' was the clear message. I sighed and leaned back. Now that he rescued me, again, he probably thought he had earned the right to tell me what to do. I decided not to burst his bubble and get some quiet time before we got back to RangeMan.

We pulled into the underground garage behind my Hummer, the others were behind us. I was curious what Ranger had been thinking about, ever since he'd told me his 'zone' was actually his thinking time, I wondered what he came up with, especially if we had different opinions about what I could and couldn't do.

Ranger cut his eyes to me and cut the engine. "How about a deal?"

"A deal?" I had no idea what he was talking about, but this must have been what he'd cooked up during the drive.

"Yeah, a deal. I tell you everything that happened and you let Dr. Mahoney check you out."

He got out of the car and was on my side before I could even unbuckle. He opened my door and held his hand out.

"That's not a deal, that's blackmail," I said. "You know I want to know."

The idea of a smile played around his lips. "So you agree?"

I took his hand and he helped me out of the SUV. I was wondering if he was serious. Of course, Ranger never joked about 'deals', so chances were he was dead serious. So for the moment, I chose to leave his question unanswered and busied myself with removing the wires and the mike from my body, all the while feeling his eyes on me.

We stepped into the elevator and I got an idea. I took a step towards Ranger so that our bodies were almost touching. "How about you examine me after the meeting? I'm sure you could do just as thorough a job as Dr. Mahoney."

Ranger smiled and studied me. "I should know better than to challenge you," he said at last as the elevator doors opened. "Let's see how you feel after the meeting, when you're off the adrenaline high?"

I felt that was an acceptable compromise. After the meeting, I'd know all I wanted to know and if I was still feeling crappy it probably wouldn't hurt to get checked out.

We left the elevator and Lester slapped me on the shoulder when I walked past him. "Looks like I missed the action once again. There's no such thing as a simple Steph job."

I grimaced. "You heard it all, didn't you?"

"Only until you were locked up somewhere, the signal died after that," he said and grew serious. "I was worried there for a while."

He stepped closer as if to hug me, but a glance at Ranger stopped him cold. "Glad you're okay," he said and held his fist out for me to bump with mine. A man hug, as I've come to think of it.

Ranger held the door to the conference room open for me, but I turned at the last minute. "I'm just gonna get some…uhm…water, I'll be right there."

While I was thirsty, what I really wanted was some Advil. They were kept in the kitchen's little First Aid cabinet. Ever since I requested them, actually. Ranger knew they were there, but in light of our conversation, I didn't want to alert him to the fact that I had a headache from hell.

I joined the meeting about five minutes later, just as the sheet of paper with the bullet points was being passed around.

Every 'mission', every job RangeMan went on was followed by a meeting, or Situation Report as the guys called it. I was used to them but didn't often attend since they had nothing to do with me. This time though, I couldn't wait to find out what had actually happened.

I glanced at the handout and grimaced. Tank had been in charge of naming the 'mission'. He'd chosen "Operation Bombshell" as the name. Merry Man humor. He was also in charge of the meeting. Once everybody was seated, he stood up and addressed the group.

He started out with what had been the original objective, following me to Harry's house and securing the surroundings. Then he continued to the part I wanted to know.

"We hadn't made any unusual observations when Steph's conversation was interrupted at 12:22 by an employee," he said, looking at me. "The butler alerted Mr. Garibaldi to a problem at the front gate."

Now he turned to Ranger. "The front gate was watched by Unit 1, me and Ranger. No one arrived or left after Steph."

Ranger nodded almost imperceptibly and motioned for Tank to continue.

"Unit 2 and 3 didn't report any breeches in the fence or wall surrounding the compound. That only leaves the option that the perps had arrived before Steph got there at 12:04." He looked at his notes. "At the sound of gunshots we got the go-ahead to move in."

"It was so cool," Junior interrupted, straightening in his seat. "We totally rammed the gate and stormed in with our guns drawn!"

A quick look from Ranger silenced him and I could have sworn he blushed a little. I was sure he only voiced what the others were thinking, they loved that kind of action.

Bobby cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "We alerted the police when we heard gunshots," he said. "So we were unable to question any of the four suspects."

Oh great. So we were at square one? I groaned involuntarily and all eyes were on me.

"But we were able to determine they acted on behalf of Eric DalBo," Tank added.

I gasped. "Was he there? Did the cops arrest him? It's over?" I got totally excited at the prospect and almost jumped up.

Tank shook his head. "No, he wasn't part of the team. From what I was able to get from the guy, they were rent-a-thugs, there to rob the place, scare the owner."

"Why would DalBo want to anger Harry?" I asked. "That doesn't make any sense."

Tank grinned and Ranger's lips quirked up in an almost smile. "I don't think they were there to tell Harry who hired them," Ranger said.

"Oh," I said as his meaning set in.

"We were mostly interested in finding out where he'd stashed you," Ranger said. "But the other intel came as a bonus."

Translation: Ranger and Tank beat the guy up until he told them everything they wanted to know. I hoped it was Becker, he owed me for the violent push down the stairs.

"But why?" I wanted to know.

"We don't know yet," Tank admitted. "But I'm looking into the possibility that DalBo wasn't so much a friend's son here to learn the ropes as a mole."

My eyebrows arched so far up, they met my hair line. "A mole? As in, he's a cop?"

Tank chuckled and shook his head. "No, not like that. More like a mole for a rival, planted to take over Harry's part of the pie."

"It's possible," Ranger threw in. "But I hate to speculate unless there's evidence."

Mental eye roll. Ranger wouldn't believe water is wet without proof. But he did have a point. Harry had told me more than once how DalBo Senior was a friend of his, and from what I understand, that means a lot in the mob.

"You mean his dad sent him to sabotage Harry? The German invasion?" Now all the Merry Men grinned.

"How well do you know the mob?" Hector asked, turning to me.

I was about to answer I'd grown up with the mob when I realized I didn't know all that much about them. The truth was, I knew rumors and movies. "Not much," I admitted.

"These are not some wannabe Corleones from Jersey," Hector explained. "We're running the international searches now, it could be we underestimated DalBo Junior because his disguise worked."

I didn't much like the idea of RangeMan fooled by a guy that was threatening my life. For my sanity, I had to believe nothing could fool the Merry Men.

"The disguise being…"

"An apprentice," Hector said.

Eric may have given me that impression at first, because he was Guzzarella's muscle, but after reading the report on him, it had been pretty clear he was not just starting out. I shared my findings with the group. Except the part where Eric was a food addict, I wanted to talk about that with Ranger first.

"He's not as new at this as we and Harry may have thought then," Tank said.

Ranger threw his papers on the table. "Time to talk to Hartung," he said and got up. "Meeting adjourned. Until we have more facts we're wasting our time."

Tank nodded. "We're running the tests now. The next SitRep is at 18:00 to go over the results."

Hector got up as well. "I'll talk to our friend." He smiled so evilly, I almost felt sorry for Hartung.

Tank rubbed his neck as he got up and I could tell he was happy the meeting was over. He was probably off to score some Advil himself, his bones would have to be as sore as mine from the fall.

Everybody shuffled out of the conference room back to their assignments. I didn't have an assignment, but I really needed some down time. Ranger caught up with me at the elevator.

"Trying to avoid me?" he asked, pushing me into the elevator when the doors opened.

I was pressed against the wall and his face was an inch from mine before I knew what was happening.

"I thought I'd go home and check in with Rex. He doesn't have daycare like Bob," I said, although when Ranger was so close to me, I found it hard to find anything else important. Another minute of this and wouldn't know what I was doing in the elevator.

"Trying to avoid me?" he asked again, a smile playing around his lips. "Rex is taken care of along with Bob."

And then he kissed me. Soft and warm at first, then his hand snuck under my shirt and the kiss grew more demanding.

The doors pinged open on the seventh floor and I hadn't even realized Ranger had pushed a button. He broke the kiss and pulled back half an inch, his breath tickled my lips when he spoke.

"You promised me a thorough examination and I have this rain check to cash in…" he whispered, lowering his mouth to my jaw and tracing my jawbone with his tongue.

And just like that, I wasn't exhausted anymore and my headache was gone. Well, maybe the headache had gone away a while ago, when the Advil kicked in, but I couldn't help noticing how great I felt. And I figured if I was going to be sore in the morning anyway, I might as well have fond memories instead of a fall down some stairs.

Ranger nudged me towards his front door and keyed it open. He dropped his keys on the sideboard, slammed the door shut behind me and pinned me against it, strong but gently.

He locked eyes with me, his hands on either side of my head, and grew serious for a moment.

"Promise you'll let me know if anything hurts?"

"Only if it's in a bad way," I murmured and fused my lips with his.

I knew he was concerned, but at that moment, I didn't want to hear it. I wanted Ranger, and I wanted all of him. After what I'd been through, I deserved an orgasm! After all, there are all kinds of dealing with a traumatic event.

I moaned into his mouth when he opened it for me and slid my tongue inside. His hands fisted in my hair at the same time I grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him flush against me. I felt him react to me and my heart sped up.

Without breaking the kiss, Ranger let his hands slide down, pulling me away from the door and into his arms, then he lifted me off the floor and I wrapped my legs around his hips.

He carried me through the apartment, kicked the bedroom door open and lowered me onto the bed. I knew he still didn't believe I was feeling okay because I'd expected him to throw me playfully.

He pulled his shirt out of his pants and over his head, letting it fall to the floor, then he knelt on the bed and hooked a finger through the belt loops of my slacks.

"Too many clothes," he said softly as he began to tug.

I smiled and lifted my hips, unbuttoning my pants and sliding down the zipper so he could pull the obstacle off me. My pants joined his shirt on the floor and he slid his hands under my shirt.

I sucked in a breath when his fingertips brushed over my pebbled nipples, straining against the lace of the bra.

Ranger lowered himself over me, balancing his weight on his elbows and kissed me. This time, there was no gentle beginning, his mouth stroked mine with a passion that almost made me come on the spot and my hips moved against his involuntarily.

I was breathless when he released my mouth and ran his tongue over to my ear, caressing its shell before stroking the sensitive spot just below it. His fingers worked their way around me and unhooked my bra and I arched against his hand when he cupped my breast. I was so close and we weren't even undressed yet.

As if on cue, Ranger's cell phone rang on his belt. He pulled back, cursed and took his phone off his belt.

Ugh! Was there always going to be an interruption? I was totally taken aback when Ranger pulled his phone off his belt and threw it across the room. I laughed out loud, surprised because that had never happened before. Ranger _always _took his calls.

"Not this time," he said, pulling out his belt and then my shirt. "The next one who tries to interrupt will get shot."

It always turns me on when he talks rough, but fueled by the adrenaline and the unbearable need for him, I couldn't hold back a moan. He quickly relieved me of my shirt and pulled my bra away in the same movement before he crushed his mouth to mine again and gave me a taste of what he was going to do to other parts of my body in a little bit.

My panties were soaked through by the time he pulled on them until they snapped. He splayed his hand on my abdomen, kneading his way down and I dug my fingers into his back, pulling him closer. I wanted him in me, I needed him to fill me completely, and I wanted it _now_.

I worked my hands down his back, into the waistband of his pants and around to the front. Ranger pulled his head back to smile at me, or maybe just to watch me, for just a moment, and then I think I lost consciousness for a second when he pulled my nipple into his mouth and let his tongue roll around it. I felt him moan against my skin when my hips came off the mattress and pressed into his and he lifted himself up enough to open his buttons and wiggle out of the last obstacle between us.

"Now," I whispered, not embarrassed about the begging tone in my voice.

I felt him smile against my skin as his mouth traveled from my left breast to the right and he captured the nipple.

"Now," I repeated, a little louder this time, a little whinier.

"Not even close," he whispered and ran his tongue to my sternum and down my belly.

"Ranger, pleeeeaaase," I begged, but he put his hand on my hip and pressed it into the mattress as he French kissed my navel.

By now I was panting, desperate for release, my hands fisted in his hair. But he had pinned me under him so I couldn't move, I couldn't even get a hold of his cock that was pressing hard into my thigh until he lowered himself and let his tongue swirl deeper and deeper until it his ground zero and I came with a scream.

Ranger didn't let up then, his tongue kept on its ministrations, prolonging my orgasm until I thought I was hovering above the bed and a million stars exploded behind my closed eyelids.

His mouth finally traveled up my body again and as soon as he released my hips, I arched into him, grabbing his ass with both hands.

He smiled his 200 Watt smile when he settled himself between my legs and I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Now," he whispered, and thrust his tongue into my mouth at the same time he thrust himself into me and I could already feel the next climax when I felt him fill me.

He stilled, allowing my body to adjust to his size, swirling his tongue in my mouth, engaging my tongue in an erotic dance. The he pulled back slowly, almost all the way, and thrust into me again with a force that made us both moan.

With every thrust, he buried himself deeper into me and I arched into him as much as I could, feeling the wave coming, needing the release again, breathless in anticipation.

I came undone when Ranger thrust into me, his chest vibrating with a growl. I could feel my walls clenching around him and lifted my hips up as far as I could to meet him.

We both came then, screaming each other's name, my fingernails digging into his back, my hips fused to his, and I stopped breathing for a long moment while the waves crashed over me.

Ranger collapsed onto me for just a second, his ragged breath hot on my moist skin, then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me with him, still inside me.

When our heart rates had returned to semi-normal, I felt his hand in my hair. He kissed my temple, still holding me close to him.

"You were right," he said and I could feel him smile. "You're fine."

I smiled and lifted my head so I could reach his mouth. "I am now."

And then I kissed him, rolling myself on top of him, preparing him for round two.

TBC

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A/N: A chapter late, but I managed to get the smut in, so all is well, right? But here's the challlenge: The next reviewer to suggest the right fly in the ointment is going to get their name into the next chapter! So what problem/hiccup do you foresee? 


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Most characters are borrowed from JE, any similarities with living persons is coincidental, and the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

Thank you all so very much for your reviews and suggestions. I don't know where I'd be without them, certainly not in the 23. chapter!

A special thank you to Jaime for suggesting the storyline.

JE's SuperJenn has nothing on my Stellar Stayce, editor and friend extraordinaire. Without her, I couldn't put two sentences together!

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**Keep the Faith**

**Chapter 23**

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone in Ranger's bed. And it was almost noon. In my defense, we hadn't actually slept until almost four AM. I smiled at the memory.

Ranger had kept reminding me that he had to make absolutely sure every inch of my body was fine, and that he couldn't just take my word for it, and he kept coming up with places he hadn't examined before.

It was Saturday, but RangeMan was a 24/7 operation, and Ranger rarely took a whole day off. Most likely, he was on the 5th floor now, there was no noise from the apartment behind the bedroom door, although silence didn't always mean Ranger wasn't there.

I stretched and immediately regretted the movement as every muscle screamed. I'd expected as much, and I was glad the pain reminded me of hours spent in bed with Ranger now, not of being pushed down the stairs in Harry's house. Unfortunately, I couldn't just lie still though, I had to answer nature's call.

Since I was by myself, I didn't have to pretend, I was free to limp to the bathroom, feeling happy but very old and wincing with every step.

After answering Mother Nature's call, I took a moment to look at myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. It wasn't a pretty sight. Bruises in all shades from angry black to sickly yellow covered my legs, my hips and my arms.

The fading ones were from my accident almost a week ago, the black ones were from my tumble yesterday. I sighed. I really had to try to stay out of trouble for a while, at least until my skin was all one color again. I was glad it had been dark in the bedroom the night before, Ranger wouldn't have touched me with kid gloves if he'd seen the bruises. Although they didn't hurt, I just knew he wouldn't have taken the chance of hurting me.

On the other hand, I'd been really lucky bruises was all I had, no broken bones or open wounds, my head barely hurt anymore, and all that after a few days in a coma. I guess it's all a matter of perspective. I stuck my tongue out at my reflection and turned to take a shower.

While I lathered and rinsed I tried to remember a more hectic week than the one just behind me. The time right after Joe'd died had been very bad, but I'd been too traumatized to remember it all now. At least that's how the shrink had explained it to me.

And because I had a million things on my mind, I went over to Ranger's desk after I'd toweled off and wrapped myself in his rope. I sat down and wrote a to-do list.

I wanted to talk to Harry and tell him about the DalBo connection. And then I wanted to find out if Junior ever found out who vandalized my car, if Hector had been able to get Hartung to talk and if I was free to go or if I needed a bodyguard. And then I wanted to check out Elke's Deli and see if any of the employees knew anything about DalBo. Of course I couldn't forget to retrun all the phone calls I'd undoubtedly gotten since yesterday.

I looked at my finished list and frowned. To do all that would take me all day. So maybe I shouldn't start it until Monday, take the weekend off? I knew I couldn't wait to get my questions answered though, so I made a new list. One to do list 'Now' and one 'Monday'. And those looked better.

Pleased with my accomplishment, I started coffee brewing, got dressed and did the hair and make-up thing. I wasn't going to work, but I felt guilty for leaving Bob with my parents all this time and neglecting Rex, so a trip to my parents was first on my agenda.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and started listening to my voicemails and returning calls.

"I'm not talking to you," Lula answered the phone.

"I'm sorry I haven't called," I said.

"Girl, sorry doesn't cover it! If I didn't see my man at night, I wouldn't even know you're still alive!"

She had a point. I'd been sort of neglecting her. But I got an idea. "How about a girls' night to make up for it? My treat?"

"Hold on," Lula said and I could hear her tell Connie, "Steph wants to take us out for girls' night on account of she's sorry she didn't call or show her ass here."

I couldn't hear what Connie said but when Lula came back on the line she relayed the message. "Connie says if there's no limit she accepts. And I do too."

I smiled. "No limit, we'll get cabs to drive us! How about tonight?" I wasn't even sure I could make it or if it was such a good idea to go bar hopping right now, but I had to at least try.

"Definitely not tonight," Lula asked. "Tank got all banged up yesterday, and I hear you were there too, so tonight, I'm cooking him a special dinner and then I'm gonna give him some extra lovin'. How 'bout you come to the office next week and we set a date?"

Phew, I was off the hook for tonight and had still mended some fences! "Sounds like a plan," I told Lula and after I'd promised her to tell her all about what happened to Tank, we disconnected. One down.

I was debating whether to call my mom or just show up when my phone rang in my hand and I almost dropped it in surprise.

"Miss Plum," Harry greeted me when I connected. "I hope you are well after yesterday's events?"

Again with the polite dinner conversation. "I'm fine," I told him. "Are you okay?"

There was a short pause. Probably he wasn't sure how honest to be with me. "Nothing a stiff drink couldn't fix," he said and then he cleared his throat.

"Miss Plum, I would like to apologize for what happened. I gave you my word you would be safe and you weren't'. I realize I am indebted to you and Mr. Manoso for eliminating the threat."

Oh. That was a new angle I hadn't thought about. Harry indebted to _me_? Wow. He had promised me I'd be safe, but I thought that meant safe from him or his guys, not from the world and everyone in it. But okay, right? When I didn't say anything Harry continued.

"My staff was depleted because of an offsite meeting, so Mr. Manoso's help was greatly appreciated. I hope you will pass the message on to him?"  
"Of course," I said automatically, not sure why he hadn't called Ranger himself. His voice sounded odd somehow, like this was really hard for him to say or something.

"I am deeply sorry I put you in danger like that," Harry continued and now I really didn't know what to say. How do you respond to a mobster apologizing to you?

"They were DalBo's men," I blurted out when I couldn't think of a good segue. Silence on the other end.

"I mean Eric DalBo," I explained. "RangeMan questioned one of the guys and he told them."

"I'm sure you understand I don't believe hearsay as a rule," Harry finally said. "I will get in contact with my attorney to arrange a meeting with the men."  
More likely, Harry would tell whoever he had on the inside to ask the intruders the same question.

"I just thought you should know," I said. "He is now threatening my life _and_ yours." Okay, that was an exaggeration, but I was in the moment.

"I appreciate your concern," he finally said, his voice cool. "But you can trust me to take care of my problems. Which brings me to the reason for my call."

I closed my eyes and took a calming breath. "Yes?"

"I consider your end of the deal fulfilled by the inconveniences you endured at my house yesterday," Harry said and I had the urgent need to consult a dictionary to translate what he was saying in his English professor English.

"I other words," Oh thank God! "We are even, Miss Plum."

Huh. I hadn't expected that. And before I could stop myself, I heard me say, "Not at all, I'm planning on fulfilling my end of the deal."

"As you wish," Harry said. "Just as long as you know I won't hold you to it anymore. Good day, Miss Plum."

I opened my mouth to respond but I heard the disconnect before I could think of anything to say. What the hell was wrong with me? Harry lets me off the hook and I jump right back on?

I knew exactly what was wrong with me. My fucking Burg upbringing. My conscience wouldn't let me off the hook as easily as Harry had. A promise is a promise and all that. Damned conscience!

I rinsed my cup and put it into the dishwasher, then I grabbed my shoulder bag and decided to visit my parents instead of calling. That way, I could mooch lunch.

"Where are you going?" Ranger asked when I knocked on his office door and poked my head in.

"What makes you think I'm going anywhere?" I asked all innocent like.

Ranger got up from his executive chair, smiling his almost smile. "Street clothes, make-up, shoulder bag," he counted off on his fingers. "You're ready to go."

"Just over to my parents' for lunch," I admitted. "You want to come?"  
He had reached me and pulled me towards him by hooking a finger in the waistband of my jeans. "Maybe 'want' is not the word I would use," he whispered and brushed his lips over mine.

"But you're not gonna let me leave on my own," I finished for him. I'd expected as much, and I knew why it was necessary, but it had gotten old. I sighed exasperated and Ranger cupped my face with both hands.

"It's up to you, really," he said, the smile still playing around his lips as he lowered his mouth to mine again, then trailed my jaw line with his tongue and kissed my earlobe. "Just depends on whether you want to make it to your parents' house and back in one piece."

I knew he was right. I leaned into him and rested my head on his chest. "I do," I relented.

"Then give me an hour. I'll finish up here and take you."

Lunch would be over in an hour. "I'll ask Lester to take me," I said. "He's dying to get away from his desk, he'll even enjoy a trip to my parents."

Ranger chuckled. "That's almost evil. I like it." He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'm sure Hal can manage in the control room for an hour or two. Try and stay out of trouble."

I stuck my tongue out at him but he caught it with his mouth before I could draw it back and kissed me passionately.

"We could always have a late lunch upstairs," he whispered as we came up for air. Our eyes locked and he chuckled. "What am I thinking? My woman is hungry_ now_."

"Raincheck?" I winked and kissed Ranger goodbye, then I left his office went in search of Lester.

Just as I'd expected, he got excited at the idea of finally getting out, he didn't even flinch when I told him where we were going. I love Lester.

We took Lester's SUV and I rode shotgun. Before we left the garage, he made sure I was wearing the panic button again and the GPS unit in my purse was working. I didn't mind the extra hardware, DalBo had fooled me often enough. Still, it was easier to pretend nothing was wrong if I was sitting next to a friend, not a bodyguard.

"Can we make a detour to Broad Street?" I asked casually.

"That's almost on the way anyway," Lester said. "Anywhere special?"

I hadn't had a chance to talk to Ranger about my findings, and I wanted to talk to him before I shared my ideas with Lester, so I fibbed.

"There's this deli Connie raves about, I wanted to check it out and bring my mom some cold cuts."

Lester nodded, threaded the SUV into midday traffic and grew quiet. I knew that all Merry Men did more than just drive. They constantly checked the mirrors for any tails, watched oncoming traffic for any unusual cars. Ranger had pointed it out to me one time, although I'd figured as much. RangeMen were always on duty, just like their boss.

He turned right off Hamilton onto Broad and glanced at the store fronts. "You know where it is?"

I didn't until I saw it. A very tacky, very 'loud' (even for Jersey) neon sign announced Elke's Deli on the next block, I could see it from 100 yards away and pointed at it. "Over there."

I convinced Lester to wait for me in the car, where he could watch who was coming or leaving, rather than standing beside me. That was true, after all. What was also true was that I wanted to ask the staff some questions that might have made Lester suspicious, as in, he might have gotten the right idea of why I was _really_ here.

I took a quick look around to make sure DalBo wasn't in the deli right this second before I entered. It was fairly crowded inside, probably it would have been even busier on a weekday, with business people lining up to get their sandwiches. There was a long glass counter that ran almost the entire way of the small room, and on the right, a couple of Formica topped tables were set up for those diners that preferred to eat in, but there was no table service. Behind the counter, three women and a man dressed in traditional German clothing waited on the guests. At least I assumed it was traditional clothing, they looked like St. Pauli girls from the beer bottle.

Along the plate glass window, shelves were set up with canned foods, preserves and candy. The decoration was more butcher shop than deli, but the clientele obviously didn't mind.

So probably the food wasn't bad, but the same could be said for dozens of delis in Trenton, DalBo must have picked this one because of the German. Or was there another connection?

"Mrs. Morelli?"

I flinched at the name, expecting to see Joe's mother in the waiting crowd. I'd been avoiding her because I was afraid she still blamed me for Morelli's death. Instead, I found the little boy that lived in the house next to Joe's looking at me. He'd been talking to me. I swallowed the lump that had immediately lodged in my throat and forced a smile. "Hello Trevor. How's your mom?"

I didn't hear his answer over the blood rushing in my ears. And I couldn't help but wonder if I would have been Mrs. Morelli by now if Joe were still alive. I mumbled something that could have been interpreted as a goodbye and almost ran out of the deli, not really caring about what anybody would think, I had to get out before the old familiar pain would seize me.

Outside, I took a deep breath and waited for the world to start spinning. Of course I had to have another dizzy spell _now_.

I jumped and couldn't suppress a scream when Lester touched my elbow.

"Jesus, Steph, it's me," he said, tightening his grip. "Are you okay?"

He must have flown out of his car to get to my side so quickly. I took another deep breath and smiled at him weakly.

"I'm okay. Sorry. It was just…" I gestured back at the deli, "Let's just go, okay?"

"Okay," he was quick to say and led me back to the SUV. I could feel his sideway glances but couldn't meet his eyes until we'd left the deli a few blocks behind.

"Sorry. Bad memories," I finally explained.

"You looked like you'd seen a ghost or were gonna faint or something."

"Sorry."

And I was. I was sorry I'd scared Lester, but even more sorry I stormed out of the deli without talking to anyone. I hadn't found out anything I could present to Ranger. Well then, I decided, we'd have to try this again after lunch.

Lunch at my parents' house was pretty short because by the time we got there, my mom was already making dinner preparations. I'd lost track of time, it was two in the afternoon. In my family, just like in any other proper Burg family, lunch was served at noon. Two PM was no man's land, food wise.

Dad was out with the cab and Mom and Grandma Mazur were discussing recipes when I came into the kitchen.

"I'm here to pick up Bob," I told them. "I have to get back to work."

"Wait a minute," my mom said. "What's this business about you and Harry the Hammer? Eugene Strolini's mother said he saw you at Harry's house when he arrived with his ambulance?"

Damn. Why hadn't I thought of that? Of _course_ it would have made the rounds in the Burg by now! My parents' phone had probably started ringing before I'd gotten home from Harry's house. Thank God I'd arrived after lunch so I had a good excuse not to stay!

I fished a couple cookies out of the cookie jar on the counter. "I was working. I'll tell you all about it, but I have to run, Lester is waiting for me."

I really couldn't explain right now, and even if I could, my mom would have a coronary. I didn't know if the work excuse was all that much better though.

"Are you coming for dinner?" Mom wanted to know. "We're having stuffed cabbage and I'm making pineapple-upside-down cake."

Ah, the big guns. She wanted to find out if there was truth to the latest gossip about me and she wasn't above bribery. Unfortunately, my mouth watered at the thought of my favorite dessert.

"I don't know yet," I told her honestly. "Maybe."

I clipped Bob's leash to his collar, fed him a cookie and turned to leave.

"If you do, bring Ranger," Grandma Mazur chimed in. "It's always more fun with him around. We need some life in this house."

"I see what I can do," I promised and let Bob pull me out of the kitchen.

Lester had already lowered the back windows for Bob when I loaded Bob into the backseat. "It was too late for lunch," I told him. "But I'm still starving. Let's go back to the deli and grab some sandwiches," I suggested in what I hoped was a casual tone. As much as I dreaded it, I had to go back to get the information I wanted.

Lester started the engine and half-turned to me. He was smiling his crooked smile that he knew made him look irresistible, but his eyes were studying me seriously.

"What?"

He shook his head slightly. "If you're freaking out again it's the last date I'm taking you on," he said and pulled away from the curb.

He couldn't have known how much I appreciated his humor right then. I was too emotional to explain to him what exactly had happened. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last, and I'd get over it, but I hadn't been prepared. I'd been in reconnaissance mode, ready to find out about DalBo, do my part to catch him. I hadn't been prepared for a Joe flashback.

Lester found a parking spot across the street from the deli and killed the engine, turning to me.

"Seriously, you gonna be okay?"

I took a deep breath. "A little boy called me 'Mrs. Morelli'," I said. "And I don't want to talk about it."

Lester let out a soft whistle but didn't say anything. With a last look over his shoulder, he got out of the car. I told Bob I'd bring him a sandwich if he was going to be good met up with Lester on his side of the car and we crossed the street together.

There were less customers in the deli now that lunch hour was over. Lester held the door for me and I tried to take a look around inconspicuously.

I should have guessed I couldn't pull it off. "We looking for somebody?"

"Just checking things out," I said, pretending to be interested in the cans on the shelf. "Trying to be aware of my surroundings."

Lester didn't look like he bought it, but he didn't respond. I had a feeling he was filing it away for later, when he could talk to me in private.

"Help you?" a young blonde with a décolleté like Dolly Parton asked, and although I was the one standing in line, she had eyes only for Lester.

I nudged Lester and inclined my head to her, trying my best to get the ESP working. It had never worked for me before, but now was as good a time as any to test it.

Maybe it was because I was acting so weird that he understood me? Or maybe he would have done what he did anyway and it just happened to be what I wanted.

"Hello Darling," he drawled. I had no idea he could drawl like Matthew McConaughey, but sure enough, he even put a lazy smile on his face.

It worked too, she couldn't have been more than 22 and red crept into her cheeks immediately as Lester asked "What's your name, Doll?"  
Mental eye roll. Who in their right mind fell for that line? I cut my eyes to Lester. It wasn't so much the words she was falling for, I figured. The long-sleeved t-shirt he was wearing looked painted on and did more than hint at the toned chest underneath it.

"Jaime," she said on a shy smile. "Can I help you?"

"What's good here, Jaime?"

I almost laughed out loud as I got it. Lester hadn't joined my wavelength at all, he was just hungry and was doing his all to get the best service and food.

Jaime asked Lester to follow him to the end of the counter so she could show him the brats and I got the attention of the only guy behind the counter. "Excuse me?"

He looked up from wrapping cheese. I put on my nicest smile. "A friend of mine recommended this place. Eric? You must know him, he comes here all the time."

No recognition registered on his face, so I held my hand up. "About this tall, blond, a big guy, German."

I made sure Lester was still flirting Jaime's pants off, although I hoped not literally, and continued to lie my ass off. "He's here every day and says it's the best place to get authentic food."

The guy shrugged. "I don't really look at the guys that closely, if you know what I mean. I take their orders and prepare their food." He jerked his chin in Jaime's direction. "Check with Jaime though, she likes big and tall guys."

Yeah, and right now, she was busy with a big and tall guy that would want a whole lot of explaining if I questioned her now. Rats, I'd have to come back alone.

"So what's good here?"

We took our lunch to one of the tables in a corner. "Did you get the special?" I teased Lester as we dug in.

He grinned. "You jealous?" He waggled his eyebrows and winked. He was gorgeous, but he unfortunately knew it. I rolled my eyes and focused back on my sandwich again.

I glanced back at the counter mid-bite and almost choked. It was him!! DalBo must have just walked in, he was standing at the counter ready to order.

I coughed, trying to clear my throat, reaching for my water.

"You okay?" Lester asked, reaching around to pat my back.

I wanted to tell him, or at least point, but I knew I'd already drawn too much attention to us. With a side glance at the counter, I noticed DalBo was flirting with Jaime just like Lester had, so he was occupied for the moment. I shifted in my seat so that more of my back was to DalBo and locked eyes with Lester.

"Confirm visual?" I asked with a smugness I didn't feel, it was the only thing other that screaming 'Holy shit, it's HIM!'.

Lester raised his eyebrows and cut his eyes to where DalBo was standing. His eyes widened ever so slightly, the Merry Men equivalent of a gasp. Before I could ask him what he wanted to do, he had unclipped his cell phone and was dialing.

He got up and dragged his chair around so his back was to DalBo, but he was able to drape his arm around me and pull me in front of him like we were a couple.

"We have a visual on the suspect at 1020 Broad Street. It's just me and Steph, we need backup immediately," Lester said so softly I could barely hear him and I was sitting almost in his lap.

He disconnected a second later when, I assumed, the control room had confirmed.

"Here's what we're gonna do, Bombshell," he said, the tiniest bit louder than before. "I need you to go to the restroom, but sort of fade away to it, not make a big deal out of it, okay? Do you have your gun?"

I shook my head and Lester withdrew his arm to let me get up. "We'll manage. But please just do as I say. The boss is going to have me tarred and feathered if anything happens to you."

Okay, I thought, this was pretty simple. I could follow simple orders. All I had to do was stand up and walk slowly over to the restrooms, not too slowly though, just normally, inconspicuously.

I figured we had five minutes at best. Backup would never arrive in time, it was just me and Lester, and only one gun. The odds weren't exactly in our favor.Fuck!

Lester's gunshot wound was almost healed, it wouldn't hold him back any, but I'll never forget how he got shot in the first place: protecting me. I wasn't there for the briefing afterwards, I didn't know what Ranger'd said to him. But Bobby had made a similar remark a couple days ago, and he hadn't been the first Merry Men to tell me they'd rather die trying to protect me than fail.

I never knew how much they were exaggerating, I was pretty sure Ranger wouldn't harm any of them for failing to protect me from the trouble I at least partially got myself into.

Lester leaned into me, nudging me on. "Now, Steph."

Right. Now. I grabbed my shoulder bag, willed my feet to carry me and walk over to the restrooms without looking over my shoulder to check on DalBo's progress at the counter. I couldn't hear if he'd already ordered or was still flirting, and I was pretty proud of myself for getting to the bathroom door without having to breathe. It wasn't until I closed the door behind me that I realized I'd been holding my breath the whole time.

Of course now I couldn't hear what's going on at all. Was Lester going to confront DalBo by himself? What if DalBo hurt him, wouldn't I be the sitting duck? Had DalBo seen me? Not knowing the answers to any of these questions was driving me crazy, but I owed Lester.

Minutes ticked by that seemed to stretch into hours. I was pacing back and forth in the small white tiled room because I was unable to stand still. That was until I heard a gunshot, then I froze. I didn't know who'd fired and if anyone had been hurt, I was just praying it wasn't Lester.

I screamed and jumped two feet when the bathroom door was wrenched open. I was face to face with Eric DalBo and all I could do was scream. Luckily, I managed to pull myself together after that initial scream, although I wasn't sure if I managed to hide my fear successfully.

He grinned, lowering his gun. "Isn't it a little cliché to hide in the ladies room?" he asked.

His broad shoulders blocked the only exit and his cold eyes were watching me closely. "Alone at last huh? Time for payback."

Unlike his goons, he only had the slightest accent when he spoke. I guess that explains why I'd missed it when I'd talked to him before.

"W…where's Lester?" I pressed out, more out of concern for Lester than to stall for time.

DalBo's eyes traveled the length of my body, smiling as if he liked what he saw. I shuddered involuntarily.  
"I'm a pretty good shot," he finally said, smiling cockily.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I understood the meaning. Oh my God! He'd shot Lester! And since he wasn't here yet, following DalBo, he must have been hit pretty bad. Or worse. If Lester had died for me I'd never forgive myself, I knew that right there.

Then Bitch Stephanie finally woke up, first slapping me for blaming myself, again, and then focusing her anger at DalBo.

"Where is he?" I asked, my voice cold and controlled, surprising even me, hoping not too much of my despair had shown on my face a second ago. Okay, who was I kidding, of course it'd been showing. The only thing I could hope for was that DalBo hadn't been able to read it.

DalBo raised his gun again, aiming it at me. "Don't worry about it," he said. "You and I are going to take a walk now." He jerked his chin at the door behind him. "And then we're going to find out how much you're worth to RangeMan."

I swallowed around the lump in my throat, trying to come up with something to say, or better yet, something to do. But instead, the room was starting to spin and I felt dizzy as panic squeezed the sandwich I'd just eaten into a tight ball that lay like lead in my stomach. Bitch Stephanie was trying to get me to kick him in the balls, but I wasn't quite suicidal yet, and I had no desire to find out how good he was with that gun.

"Where're we going?" I asked, this time to stall for time.

"Again, nothing for you to worry about," DalBo said and took a step aside, gesturing with the gun for me to walk through the door.

I was trying to stay calm and think, but honestly, I was scared shitless. I was scared for Lester, praying he was okay, and I was scared for myself.

"What are you gonna do with me?" I realized my questions were bound to make him lose his patience, but all I could think was that I needed more time, that Ranger needed more time to get here from Haywood.

He sighed, but the humorless grin never left his face. "They have something I want. Now I have something they want." He shrugged and took me by the elbow. "Move."

TBC

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A/N: No, see, it's not actually a cliffie. If I hadn't told you opened the door, that would have been a cliffie. LOL OK, so a mini-cliffhanger to hopefully leave you wanting more. Do you think help is on the way? What happened to Lester? Is Bob OK??? 


	24. Chapter 24

Thank you all so very much for your reviews. I appreciate them more than you can imagine.

An extra special Thank You to Stayce for helping me although her plate was already overflowing.

Disclaimer: Most characters are borrowed from JE, any similarities with living persons is coincidental, and the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 24

A while ago, I saw this magnet. It read "As soon as the rush is over, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I've earned it, I deserve it, and no one is going to deprive me of it". I'd laughed when I saw it, it was so true.

And that was exactly how I felt at the moment. I knew I had to keep it together, appear strong, show no fear, but I had to have something to look forward to.

When this was over, I was going to call a girls' night Trenton had never seen before. It was going to be myself, Lula and Connie and Mary Lou, and the only men allowed were Jack, Jim and Jose, with a possible exception for Ben & Jerry. And we'd do whatever felt right all through the night and we'd all feel on top of the world.

Right now though, I couldn't have been further away from a fun time with the girls. I was stuck in a deli bathroom with a foreign Mafioso that hadn't gotten his reputation by raising kittens.

DalBo pulled the ladies room door open and put his foot in front of it so it wouldn't close. Immediately, I heard the unmistakable sound of dozens of weapons getting ready to fire.

"Sounds like the cavalry is here," DalBo whispered and nudged me forward with his gun. "Just like in one of the old westerns."

I was thinking along the same lines, although I didn't know what to feel first, fear or hope. If he was going to push me out into the hallway, was I going to be shot by the entire RangeMan team? No, of course not, most Merry Men were ex-soldiers, trained to know the difference between good guys and bad guys on a split-second's notice. But if most of them would be able to hold their fire when they recognized me, what if one of them couldn't? As far as I know, one bullet is all it takes to kill you. And what if it wasn't only veteran Merry Men, what if they'd brought the rookie?

On the other hand, they were here. Most likely, Ranger was among them, and they were in the deli, not just outside, they were close. All I had to do was step out of the bathroom and I could run to safety. If I acted fast enough, I might even avoid getting shot at by DalBo, use the element of surprise.

It didn't really matter what I wanted to do though, I was paralyzed. I couldn't have moved a single muscle if I'd tried. And why didn't any of them out there yell something, call my name, or tell me it was all going to be okay? Didn't they know I needed reassurance? DalBo had heard them chambering the rounds just as much as I had, he knew they were there, they had no need to be stealthy now.

I stood right next to him now and DalBo put his hand my neck and tightened his grip. His large hands almost reached around to my throat and I had no doubt he could hold on a lot tighter if he wanted to. I was facing the short hallway, he had his back against the open door and was facing me. Well, if I'd looked up and into his face he would have been facing me, but I was staring straight ahead. I was scared of what I might do if I looked at him.

And as usual when I was faced with a pants-peeing-scary situation, my mind wandered off, trying to deny the severity of the moment. I couldn't help thinking that if only I hadn't insisted on coming back here right away, if I'd left it for a time after I'd had a chance to tell Ranger about it, this wouldn't have happened.

And then I reminded myself that coming here wasn't as much the issue as keeping it from Lester, because Lester would have been more prepared if I'd told him the truth about my interest in Elke's Deli. Oh God, Lester! I hoped he was okay, he had to be, I took a moment to promise God I'd become a nun if he let Lester be okay.

And what about Bob?? He'd promised me he'd be good, but that was a promise for the twenty minutes it would take to have lunch! Did we leave a window cracked, did he have enough air?

I flinched when DalBo's fingernails dug into my skin and realized that playing 'anywhere but here' in my head was not the way to go. I had to focus and I had to find a way out of here, just like I would have MacGyver'ed my way of Harry's basement if it had been anyone else coming down the stairs.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, loud enough so I could be heard in the hallway, hopefully the rest of the deli too.

DalBo grinned, but the grin didn't reach his eyes, they were still cold as ice. "You, Schatzi, are going to be acting as my shield." He kept his voice low and controlled, I could clearly hear him but I doubted anyone outside this room could.

He looked like he thought it was very clever of him to come up with such an original idea and I swallowed hard. Yep, he really meant it.

He released my neck and slid his forearm around my throat, pressing my back to his chest. I barely noticed when the barrel of his gun connected with my temple.

"Nice and slow, Schnuckelchen, we're going to leave this room and you turn left. Then you stop and walk backwards. You got that?"  
"Ba…backwards?" I wasn't being slow on purpose, my panicking mind couldn't process what he was saying.

He chuckled as if he found me amusing. His mouth was so close to my ear that his breath tickled my skin and I shuddered involuntarily. "The guns are on the left," he explained condescendingly. "I want to keep you facing them while we walk out the back door. Klaro?"

I didn't understand the words, but he shook me for emphasis and I nodded. Not that it mattered what I did, I figured. He didn't seem hurt, so it must have been Lester who'd gotten wounded. Some RangeMen must have been close by, so they might have approached the deli as DalBo was trying to get away, forcing him the other way. Maybe he hadn't known I was in the bathroom when he stumbled upon me, maybe he'd been looking for the rear exit, I take wrong doors all the time. So as soon as I helped him get outside, he'd let me go, right? Maybe he didn't even know who I was, it was possible.

I was a pretty good liar, but unfortunately not good enough to convince myself. I had too much trouble controlling my body, keeping the tears back and suppressing the shivers. I also had to keep that part of me under control that only wanted me to kick DalBo where it hurts. I didn't really think testing DalBo's patience was a good thing to do, not with his gun pressing into my head.

So no, I didn't believe for a second DalBo hadn't known I was in the bathroom or that he didn't know who I was. My guess was that he had spotted me even before I made him and had had the upper hand all along. And I wasn't at all sure he had any plans of releasing me once we made it out of the building.

I hadn't seen insanity in his eyes, like I had in others' before; probably he knew what he was doing. It could be as simple as revenge; he could want to get back at me for having him arrested. If I had bruised his male ego and he'd lost face or whatever in front of his mafia friends, there could be hell to pay.

"Move," he hissed, pressing himself against me to push me out the door.

"You want me to step into the hallway?" I asked, much louder than necessary, sending whoever was out there a not so subtle message.

My heart was thumping against my chest so hard, I was afraid I was going to have a heart attack. I took a small step forward. I hadn't quite reached the doorway yet, and I didn't know if I could manage. I had fear instead of blood flowing through my veins, and it froze me up.

DalBo pulled his forearm up, choking me. "I won't say it again."

Even if he did, I probably wasn't going to hear him, since he almost cut off my air supply. But I couldn't move.

I heard the mechanical click half a second before the deafening gunshot and I shrieked. DalBo's grip on me never loosened. He had moved his gun half an inch and had fired a shot directly above my head, I could feel the burn right across my skull.

I was shaking uncontrollably now and if he hadn't held on to me, I would have probably collapsed onto the floor. He nudged me with his shoulder.

"I mean that," he said, completely calm, as if we were discussing the weather.

It was hard to tell how many men were out there. Traffic was heavy on Broad, drowning out most noises. There were sirens, but I couldn't determine if they were coming or going. Apparently no one had given the command to rush in since nobody appeared in the doorway ready to shoot.

I took another step forward and tried to think.

Lester would have called in a Code Red. How many teams was that again? Definitely Ranger and Tank. Unless they were out on another Code Red, but somehow I believed they would have made me their priority. Guilt over not telling Ranger before I came to check the place out tried to creep up on me again, but I really had other priorities at the moment, like staying alive.

DalBo's gun was back at my temple, hot from the shot it had fired, and I took that last step, closing my eyes as I turned left. My head hurt, my ears were ringing, and there was now the stink of burnt hair, my hair, all around me. But I couldn't help thinking it could have been a lot worse, pain meant I was alive.

DalBo was stuck to me in a way that I'm sure would have been comical under any other circumstances; there wasn't half an inch of air between us. I could feel him cowering a little because he was taller than I was and he wanted to hide behind me. With a shaky breath, I opened my eyes.

At first, I only saw a sea of black. I didn't recognize faces, just the RangeMan uniforms behind their guns. There were about a dozen of them, dressed in flack vests, some of them shielded by upturned tables. Then I noticed cops behind them, their guns also trained at us. There were about a dozen uniforms, some of them barely visible behind the deli counters, some of them in plain sight behind the RangeMen. They all must have known DalBo would have his gun on me, making additional cover unnecessary. I sent a quick prayer heavenwards that all of them had had the sense to wait to see who came out of that bathroom.

This was one of the classic situations I'd learned about in RangeMan training, the hostage situation. Too bad I couldn't remember what the routine steps were, but I thought I remembered a rule where if it could endanger a hostage you don't shoot, period. DalBo obviously knew that one already since he was hiding almost completely behind me, putting pressure on my throat to make me step backwards with him.

I still couldn't hear much over the ringing in my ear and my rushing blood, but slowly, my vision sort of cleared and I recognized people. I saw Tank. He wasn't looking at me, his eyes were focused on a spot right behind me, but I recognized him by his bulk even when he was kneeling, although I'd never seen such a cold look in his eyes. Next to him was Junior. I willed myself to scan the men in black even as DalBo was pulling me back, I needed to find Lester, I needed to see he was okay. My eyes flew from one black figure to the next, until I reached the only one standing up: Ranger.

Our eyes locked and I felt a sense of calm come over me I'd have thought impossible in this situation. He wasn't moving. He was looking at me, his gun ready but not aiming at me, and I shouldn't have been able to tell, but I knew he was aiming it at a little bit to the right of my head.

And all of a sudden, time stood still. All sounds faded. I could only see Ranger's eyes and I felt as if his mind was reaching out to me. I'd seen him look at one of his men this intensely and called it RangeMan ESP when the Merry Man he looked at just suddenly 'got' the message, but I never thought it could happen to me. I had no way of knowing if I was making this up or if Ranger was really trying to tell me something, but it felt so right, I decided to go with it.

He nodded, almost imperceptibly, if you didn't know him you would have missed it, and that was my signal. I knew that like I'd never known anything in my life.

Ranger blinked and I ducked. I just went limp and slouched down a little, but it was all the room Ranger needed. The bullet zinged past me, only a little further away than DalBo's had a few minutes earlier. DalBo collapsed on top of me groaning, sending me down to the floor.

I couldn't breathe. His weight crushed me, it felt like he weighed a ton. It couldn't have been for more than a minute because as soon as I hit the linoleum I heard everyone around me spring into action, but I needed air, lots of it and fast, and DalBo's weight on me didn't allow me to breathe.

I felt him being lifted off of me and realized I was still unable to move. It was adrenaline overload or something, I just lay there, my arms and legs wouldn't obey me.

Strong hands touched me and I knew they were Ranger's hands before I saw him, his fingers slid under my arms and he lifted me up effortlessly.

I can't quite describe the sound I made, it was weird, like a mix between a sob and a shriek, and as soon as I was on my feet I let my self fall against Ranger. I threw my arms around his neck and held on for dear life.

His arms closed around me and held me, his face was pressed against the side of mine, and I was finally able to take that much needed deep breath. It was over. I was still alive. I couldn't hold mack the sobs any longer.

Ranger held me until my tears dried up and for a long moment after that, then he pulled back to look at me. "Are you okay?" he asked, holding me by my shoulders. There was concern in his eyes and he held on to me as if he feared I was going to collapse without his support, which was entirely possible since my legs still felt kind of like rubber.

"He…he shot me…" I whispered as the memory came back and my hand flew up to my scalp.

Ranger caught it before I could make contact with the wound and looked at the damage. "Not even a flesh wound, Babe. It stings worse than it is."

He gathered me back in his arms and kissed my forehead, then he put a strong arm around my shoulder and walked me outside. "If you want, you can have the paramedics have a look, but they might laugh."

He was obviously trying to tease me, so I punched him in the side. It wasn't a hard punch because I didn't want to pull back to gain momentum, I couldn't let go of him.

"It hurts," I explained. "You know how I don't like pain."

"Even less than doctors," Ranger chuckled and kissed my nose.

We walked through the front door and Ranger picked me up, just like that I was airborne and then I was carried bridal style, and I was too relieved and too exhausted to be embarrassed by half of Trenton looking on.

One of the paramedics in the closest ambulance looked up and his eyes widened. He gestured to the second ambulance and Ranger was about to carry me over when I got a glance inside the first rig.

"Lester!" I yelled as loud as I could. "Let me down, I need to see him."

Ranger shook his head. "In a bit, when they're done with him. Let them finish."

"Is he okay?" I craned my neck as Ranger walked on, but I couldn't see the inside of the ambulance anymore.

"He's fine. Just bumped his head pretty hard, they're checking for a concussion," Ranger said as we reached the second ambulance and Ranger put me on the waiting gurney.

The paramedic looked from me to Ranger, but when I looked up Ranger was wearing his blank face.

"I'm not going to the hospital," I said to both of them, just to get that out of the way, in case that's what the shared lookes were about.

They exchanged another glance and then the paramedic pushed me down on my back before he put his gloves on and got gauze and anitseptic spary . Ranger bent down and kissed me.

"I'll be back in a bit. They're waiting for me to make my statement, and I need to check on the guys. You gonna be OK for a while?"

I nodded. "I'm better now. But don't be too long." I hated how needy I sounded, but I couldn't help it. I was still shaking a little.

Ranger smiled and brushed his lips over mine. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

I wanted to tell Ranger to check on Bob, but he'd already left.

I got numbed up and then the paramedic went to work, but since I couldn't see what he was doing, I closed my eyes and let him do his job. As long as he didn't hurt me, he was allowed to do what he thought was necessary.

Maybe it was something he gave me or maybe it was the adrenaline slump, but at some point I passed out and I woke not knowing how much time had passed.

I was disoriented at first and had a short panic attack, but then I noticed the ambulance wasn't moving, its motor wasn't even running, and I was alone in without any lights on. I sat up, but regretted it immediately, because pain shot through my head and down my neck. I groaned very unladylike and waited for the stars to fade so I could see clearly.

I'd just swung my legs over the gurney's end as the double doors were opened from the outside and although I only saw his outline, I knew Ranger had come for me.

"I think you've had enough rest," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"What happened? What did I miss?"

"Just the cleanup, Babe."

He offered me his hand and helped me out of the vehicle. When I looked around, I noticed there was only one police car and a couple RangeMan SUVs left in front of the deli.

I wanted nothing more than for all this to be over, but I forced myself not to go into denial over what had happened. "Where is DalBo? Is Lester okay? Did you get Bob?"

Ranger chuckled put his arm around my shoulder and led me over to his Cayenne. "It's taken care of. Lester's already back at RangeMan, along with Bob. Relax, okay?"

He opened the passenger door for me and gave me a boost. "I was just waiting for you."

"Don't I need to make a statement or something?" I asked confused.

"Tomorrow," Ranger said. "I told them I'd keep an eye on you and hand-deliver you to the station tomorrow."

He was smiling when he closed my door and jogged around the front of the car, and I relaxed back against the soft seat.

The crowd I'd seen on our way out of the deli had dispersed, yellow crime scene tape had been draped across the entrance and I saw Tank talking to Eddie Gazarra next to the only blue and white left.

"Is DalBo…is he…?" I didn't know if I wanted to ask whether he was dead or alive. It seemed wrong to wish for someone's death. But if he was dead I had to know.

"He's worse off than Lester," Ranger said evasively.

I decided to leave it at that for the moment, I was sure Ranger would have put it differently if DalBo was dead. My head was still throbbing and my body felt like I'd been hit by a truck. This once, I didn't need to know every little detail of what had happened right away. It could wait until after a shower.

Ranger was quiet on the ride to Haywood Street, and he still didn't speak when helped me out of the car or when we walked over to the elevator.

"Something wrong?" I finally asked when the silence grew uncomfortable.

Ranger keyed his front door open and stood back to let me walk past, then he kicked it shut behind him and almost crushed me in a hug. He brought his hands up and threaded his fingers behind my neck. I leaned into him so far that I wouldn't have been able to stay upright if he'd taken a step back.

I felt his breath against my neck when he spoke. "You did good, Babe."

"I didn't really do anything but get into trouble," I admitted and he chuckled.

"You did a lot more'n that. You knew, didn't you?" He pulled back so he could lock eyes with me.

"Knew what?" My head hurt even worse when I was trying to keep up with Ranger's mind leaps.

"What I needed you to do. DalBo was hidden completely behind you, and you knew you had to duck." There was an intensity in his eyes that I knew meant he had to know right now.

"I must have seen that in a movie," I said. Now that it was over it seemed foolish to believe Ranger and I had had a 'connection'.

He rested his hands on my shoulder and tucked a wayward curl behind my ear. "You did it at exactly the right moment. That was no coincidence."

His eyes flicked up to my head. "Are you in pain?"  
"I thought it wasn't even a flesh wound?"

He pulled me towards him again and I let his warmth and strength seep into me. "Doesn't mean it can't hurt," he said and blew out some air, his version of a sigh.

"I need a drink," I said. "And a shower. And a nice man to massage my shoulders."

The only trouble was I didn't want to move an inch from where we were standing right that second.

"You got it," he said but didn't move either.

We stood like that for a few minutes longer, then Ranger took a step back, put his arm around my shoulder and led me into the kitchen. He filled two glasses with ice and topped them off with whisky, then he handed me one. "We'll take these with us."

I touched the bandage on my head. "I didn't get to ask, can I shower with this?"  
"We'll play it safe and take a bath instead," Ranger said as we left the kitchen for the bathroom.

"Aren't you hungry?"  
I had to think about that. It was almost 7, I'd last eaten hours ago, but I wasn't hungry. Not for food anyway. I sat down on the hamper while Ranger started the water. Just watching him made me feel better. Ranger and I, in his apartment, safest place in Trenton.

He looked up from the tub, a questioning look in his eyes. I hadn't answered his question.

I felt much better, I was over the aftershock. "I have what I need right here," I told him and he smiled at that. "So do I."

He got up and walked over to me, pulling his shirt out of his pants and over his head. I stood up and reached out for him, he took my hand and pulled me in for a passionate kiss.

Usually, the sight of half-naked Ranger sends my hormones into overdrive, but that night, I just wanted to feel him close, wanted to feel safe in his presence.

We finished undressing and Ranger helped me into the tub, although I assured him I was fine. He slid in behind me and I stood corrected, this was even better than wrapping my arms around him in the foyer had been. My head was resting on his shoulder and his long legs framed mine. He picked up a sponge and lathered it up with soap, then he washed me, inch by inch.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I was gonna do," I admitted, as much to myself as to Ranger.

"You got your man."

"Yeah, but…"

Ranger ran the sponge over my face. "No but. It was ugly, it wasn't how we would've planned it, but in the end, what matters is that DalBo's in prison."

I let that sink in for a moment. Ranger was right, but I had a hard time letting myself off the hook that easily. "I'm sure Trenton PD would have preferred an easier capture. And I'm sure you would have preferred not shooting a guy."

Ranger took a deep breath under me. "My only regret is that he's not dead. I had to take the shot then because I didn't know if I'd get another chance."

"So I helped?"

"Yeah," Ranger said, rubbing the sponge over my shoulders, "you helped."

I could hear the sincerity in his voice. He wasn't trying to make me feel better. To him this had been a team effort. And I was part of his team.

After the bath, I felt better in lots of ways. Physically, I was relaxed, Ranger had rubbed a lot of the stress away and the warm water had mellowed me out. Emotionally, I was glad that I'd had the guts to apologize, only to find out no apology had been necessary.

I wrapped Ranger's robe around me and finally confronted the mirror to check out the damage. There was a bandage on my head, I'd felt it, but I hadn't put one and one together. The paramedic had shaved the hair off to get access to the wound. I looked up and saw Ranger standing behind me, waiting for my reaction. Any other day, I might have screamed, I might have been shocked. But that night, I shrugged.

"It'll grow back, I suppose," I said, more to convince myself.

Ranger nodded. "Probably even more beautiful", he said and wrapped his arms around me. Our eyes met in the mirror.

And then I thought if I asked all the questions I had left now, I might actually get a good night's sleep without worrying about it.

"Are they going to keep DalBo locked up? He's not gonna be released on bail again, is he?"

He rested his chin on my shoulder. "My lawyer is going to talk to the DA first thing in the morning. If they're thinking about setting bail, we'll find something that'll convince the judge otherwise." I tried to protest but Ranger continued. "It's only a precaution. The case should be strong enough with assault with a deadly weapon and kidnapping."

"What if it isn't?"  
"Then it will be after your statement in the morning. Once he wakes up, he'll be sent to jail."

"He's not conscious?" Did it matter? Yes, I decided.

"He wasn't when they took him to the hospital. Lost a lot of blood."

I sucked in some air. This was too much like Gardner. He had also been shot and sent to the hospital, and he was guarded. But he managed to escape, twice as angry and twice as crazy as before.

Ranger squeezed me lightly to bring me back to reality. "Not this time, Babe. He's being watched inside his room, outside his room and at all entrances."

"Trenton PD wouldn't…" Ranger smiled at me in the mirror. "But I would, Babe."

I sighed. Ranger seemed to have thought of everything. Unlike me, Ranger never made the same mistake twice. DalBo was not going to get away. But he was only one part of my worries.

"I need to see Lester. I need to know he's okay."

Ranger smiled. "He is okay, I wasn't trying to protect you from that. He should be in his apartment on four."

Oh thank God! I vaguely remembered promising God something, but I didn't recall if Lester had to be unharmed for that or just survive. Okay, so I remembered I'd promised to become a nun, but I really didn't remember if the condition had be healthy Lester or injured-but-okay Lester. These details are important.

Just as important as listening closely to Ranger's words. I frowned. "What were you protecting me from?"

"What makes you think I was…"

I turned in his arms. "What were you trying to keep from me?"

He brushed his lips over mine. "You were looking a little scary earlier, Babe. The medic said you may still have to go to the hospital if it bothers you in the morning."

"When you said it wasn't even a flesh wound?"

Ranger smiled. "There was a lot of blood. I didn't think you needed to know right then."

I thought about getting angry for a second, about telling him he'd lied to me. But then I remembered his words right after the shooting, how they had soothed me. How I'd thought that if Ranger was this calm, it couldn't be all bad. He'd done the right thing.

"I would have panicked if you'd panicked," I told him as I cupped his face in my hands.

He nodded his almost nod and then he kissed me. His tongue played around my lips for a second before it sought entrance and when our tongues met, I melted into his arms.

His hands wandered down to my ass and he grabbed both cheeks firmly, pressing me to him. And I felt my hormones wake up after all, a Ranger-induced orgasm suddenly sounded like the right thing to end the day with.

TBC

Schatzi, Schnuckelchen – German terms of endearment ( little treasure, cutie)

Klaro? – Is that clear?

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A/N: Look Ma, no cliffhanger!! Well, I got too many death threats to have anything happen to Lester, that's for sure... LOL Now it's all over, right? All the baddies are gone, all's taken care of, right? What do YOU think? Clean up time?? 


	25. Chapter 25

I can't thank you enough for all your feedback, not only do you encourage me to write faster, I think you make the story better! Thank you so much!

Merry Christmas to you all!

Muchas gracias to my chica Stayce without whom I wouldn't have made it past chapter 1

Disclaimer: Most characters are borrowed from JE, any similarities with living persons is coincidental, and the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Warning: Bad language and adult content

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 25

I woke up when Ranger got up at dawn. "Go back to sleep, Babe," he said and brushed some hair out of my face. "You need rest."

"Mmmm," I agreed. "And yet you kept me up most of the night."

That earned me his wolf grin, even though it wasn't entirely true. We'd made slow, passionate love and fell asleep right around midnight, I think. And he had successfully taken my mind off of bullet wounds, hostage takers and…rumor mills. Although I knew my mom had probably left a dozen messages by now, I didn't care.

Ranger bent down and kissed me lightly. "How're you feeling?"

I touched the bandage on my head. My skull burned a little, but the pounding headache was gone.

"Okay, I guess. Ask me again when the bandage comes off," I said, grimacing.

Just because I'd shrugged it off the night before didn't mean I was going to handle it well when I saw the damage.

"Let's burn that bridge when we get there," Ranger suggested on a smile and straightened. "Get some more sleep, you'll feel better. I'll be back in time for breakfast." And with a quick kiss goodbye, he was gone.

I stretched and ignored my screaming muscles. Probably I needed a whole 24 hours of rest, uninterrupted. Chances of that happening were a lot better now that DalBo was taken care of.

I glanced at the clock. 5:30. If I got up now, I'd have time for coffee before early mass, it being Sunday and all.

Bob slobber woke me up the second time. Probably Ranger had let him into the bathroom, and now he was giving me his good morning kisses.

By now it was 7:30, Ranger had let me sleep in, by his definition. I gave Bob a hug and told him to go find Ranger, but he was too excited to see me. He jumped into the bed and lay down next to me.

"Breakfast is ready," Ranger said and I turned around to see him standing in the doorway.

He didn't wait for me to respond, he just disappeared back into the apartment and my spidey sense started tingling.

I dismissed it as some leftover nervousness and sat up. No spinning, no nausea, no pounding headache. I was as good as new. Well, that was as long as ignored my bandaged head, of course.

I purposefully avoided even a glance in the mirror as I took Ranger's robe from the bathroom and slipped into it, although I did notice the bruises on my arms and legs were fading nicely.

Bob followed me into the dining room in hopes of food. Ranger was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him, his patented blank expression on his face.

"What's wrong?"

He looked up and our eyes met. "We need to talk."

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. If I hadn't been so close to the table that I was able to collapse into a chair, I would have just sat on the floor. I could only come up with one reason those words are ever uttered in a relationship.

"I thought we were…" I couldn't even finish the sentence. I thought we'd worked things out, Ranger had realized he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him.

Apparently, my feelings were displayed openly on my face because Ranger jumped up and quickly closed the distance between us.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind. "God, I'm sorry. It's not what you think."

"You're not an ass again?" I tried to joke.

Ranger snorted. "I'm always an ass according to some people."

"But you don't think you'll be better off without me again?"

He kissed the spot right under my earlobe. "Not a chance."

I pulled forward a bit so I could turn around and look at him. "Then what? What is it we need to talk about?"

Ranger lifted his hand and tucked my hair behind my ear. I could tell he was trying to find the right words for whatever it was he had to say. This meant it was bad, because Ranger was never at a loss for words.

"We handed Hartung over to Trenton PD," he started. That had to happen at some point, although I hadn't given it much thought.

"And?" I prodded.

"We weren't able to get much out of him, but we told the cops he was working for Guzzarella."

I could tell that wasn't the big thing either and I was getting kind of impatient. Ranger never beat around the bush.

Ranger smiled at my expression and smoothed out my frown with his thumb, then he took a deep breath. "They're expecting you to give your statement on DalBo today. When Tank got back from delivering Hartung, he said it might not be a good idea for you to show your face around the station."

I narrowed my eyes, not hiding my impatience any longer. "I have no idea what you're trying to hint at. You're gonna just have to say it."

Ranger ran a hand through his hair. "They're still investigating the murder, obviously, but until now, they hadn't gotten any leads."

"And now they do." I was getting close to wringing his neck.

"I'm trying to confirm what Tank heard, but they either want to bring you in for questioning or…"  
I jumped up, knocking the chair over. "Arrest me????" I finished for him, almost screaming.

Ranger lowered his eyes and nodded. "That's what I'm trying to find out."  
"Arrest me?" I repeated, unable to grasp the concept. "Why me? I didn't' even know him! I had no reason to kill him!"

Ranger took my hand and pulled me towards him before I could freak out completely. "No, you didn't. The only thing I can think of is that they're getting desperate to find somebody that might have the hint of a motive.

"But you just agreed that I didn't have a motive," I argued.

"I agreed you didn't know him. Word may have gotten around that you had him arrested and that he had sworn to get even, and you might have heard that."

"You believe that?" I asked, frowning at him and pulling out of his embrace.

"No," Ranger simply said. "But it's my only guess at what the cops believe."

I sat down slowly. No, I thought, it couldn't be. Tank must have heard wrong, and Ranger had asked the wrong people. It was ridiculous. No one could possibly believe I could kill anyone, let alone Guzzarella.

"You think they're gonna charge me with murder?"

Ranger squatted next to my chair and took my hands in his. "We're checking every possible source now. Call Eddie, or whoever else you trust on the force." He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. "You know that even if it came to that, I'd bail you out immediately, I'm not gonna let you fight this alone."

I tried to smile at him but failed. How long ago was it that I thought it was finally over, ten minutes? Hadn't I been through enough? I'd been kidnapped several times in the last few days, didn't that show I couldn't just kill people? I mean, wouldn't I have killed everyone instead of ending up as their hostage? It just didn't make sense.

"No," I said, making up my mind.

"No?"  
"It can't be, Tank heard wrong. It's ridiculous. And I'm going to prove it."

I stood up and went looking for my shoulder bag. I found it, and my phone was inside, but it had died again. Or maybe I'd never charged it? Ranger handed me his phone wordlessly and I dialed Eddie's number.

Eddie answered on the first ring, as carefree as usual, "It's your quarter."

"Hey Eddie, it's Steph," I said and waited for his reaction. He didn't suck in any air or hesitate.

"Hey Steph, long time no see. What's up?"

I locked eyes with Ranger, but I didn't know if I should shake my head to indicate nothing was wrong or nod. It was just like a pregnancy test, were negative is positive. I'd just have to tell him after.

"RangeMan heard a rumor that I'm going to be taken in for questioning in the Guzzarella murder," I told Eddie without any small talk. "Have you heard anything?"

"What? No, I would have told you, you know that. I'm not on the case, but word would have traveled!"

Eddie sounded as incredulous as I had a few minutes before, I was sure this had shocked him just as much.

"Can you ask around? Find out if they have anything or if I'm still a suspect? You know people…"

"You got it. Is this the number to reach you at?"

I took the phone away from my ear and looked at it. I'd already forgotten I hadn't called from my own phone, mental head slap.

"No, call my cell, I'm charging it now. Oh, and Eddie?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thank you."

"Don't mention it," he said and hung up. Not even the threat of having to baby-sit his kids for that favor, he was taking this seriously.

"Well?" Ranger asked when I handed him back the phone and rummaged in my shoulder bag for my cell phone charger.

"It was the first Eddie heard of it," I told him. "I'm calling Carl next."

"Do you know any of the pc's in the department?" Ranger wanted to know.

He meant did I know someone who might know more than the uniforms. I didn't, not enough to ask a favor like that. Morelli had always been my source if I'd needed information.

"Not yet," I told Ranger and plugged in my cell phone. I was fumbling with the buttons so I didn't notice Ranger's intensive stare at first. He was leaning against the fridge, watching me.

"What?"

"You okay?" Ranger asked. "You look a bit frantic."

I took a deep breath. Probably he was waiting for the nervous breakdown next. "If Eddie had confirmed what Tank said I would be freaking out now, I admit." I put down the cell phone on the kitchen counter. "But now I have a plan. I'll find out if they want me or if it's safe to go in to give my report."

"Tank is still on it, too," Ranger said. "But maybe you should stay here until we know for sure."

I turned and leaned against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. "You want me to hide from the cops?"

A small smile played around his lips. "I'd call it being less visible rather than hiding."

"Call it what you like." I shrugged. "You got the bad guys, they're all locked up. I'm not hiding from the good guys. And," I held up my hand because I could see Ranger wanted to object, "I'm not taking a bodyguard with me either."

"Babe," Ranger said predictably and I couldn't help but smile. He says one word and it means several sentences.

"I'm not in danger anymore," I argued. "Trenton PD won't put out a warrant on me and chase me down Hamilton."

"How do you know you're not in danger anymore?" Ranger asked, pushing himself off the fridge and closing in on me.

I rolled my eyes. "Well technically, yes, we're all in danger every day, is that what you mean?"

"You more so than others, but no, that's not what I meant," Ranger said, putting his hands on my shoulders. "We have some work left to do, I'd like to make sure DalBo was the last of them."

"We _know_ DalBo is the last of them," I corrected him. "Harry said he had nothing to do with it, Guzzarella and DalBo were the only two rogues."

Ranger took a deep breath. "And I'm not saying Harry's lying. But he didn't know about Guzzarella, what makes you think he'd know about others?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Just out of curiosity, were you planning on ever letting me out on the streets again without supervision?"

I knew he didn't deserve that. It wasn't even about DalBo or Guzzarella anymore, all I'd heard was that Ranger wanted to lock me up. He might have had another word for it and he didn't see it as locking me up, but I did.

"That all depends. One day, when I want you dead, I might reconsider."

I just glared at him. I totally hate it when he disarms with a comment like that. He smiled and kissed my nose.

"Just lay low for a day, okay? We should have everything we need by tonight, maybe you want to help by running the searches later?"

It wasn't like I had any plans, really. The bonds office was closed on Sundays and I didn't feel like shopping.

"You're coming with me to my parents for dinner?" I bargained. Ranger probably thought accompanying me a few nights before fulfilled his quota for a month.

It didn't faze him. "Looking forward to it," he lied and kissed me.

On the mouth this time, with plenty of tongue and roaming hands. I fisted my hands into his t-shirt and molded my body against his, and my mood brightened immediately. Suddenly, staying inside didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"Maybe I need somebody to guard my body while I'm inside, too," I suggested when we came up for air and that earned me his 200 Watt smile.

"I can think of a few other things besides guarding, Babe," he said and pulled the robe open with a quick tug on the belt.

He reached around to cup my buttocks, then lifted me onto the counter and stepped between my legs. My skin touched the rough fabric of his cargo pants and I felt the heat rush through me.

He lowered his head and ran his tongue over the shell of my ear. "And I'm getting more ideas by the minute," he whispered and kissed me at the junction of my neck and shoulder and I shuddered.

His hands ran up my back and settled on my shoulders. He exhaled and his breath tickled my skin before he pulled back, still holding on to my shoulders. "Unfortunately, now's not the time."

"What??" I asked, somewhat stupefied, not ready to just switch off the good feelings.

"I'm sorry," Ranger whispered, leaning his forehead against mine, trying to regulate his breathing. "I have to go."

I knew he didn't just say that, RangeMan was his company and as the boss, he never really had a day off, but it was disappointing all the same. He didn't even own a shower massager.

So all I could do was channel all that penned up energy into work probably. Id' finish my phone calls, see what I could dig up, then help the Merry Men complete the report on DalBo.

"Is Tank in?" I asked, following that train of thought.

Ranger paused and looked at me in a way I couldn't read. And then I realized how much of the 'conversation' had been in my head and how much of it out loud and I blushed.

"Oh my God, I didn't mean it that way!" I tried, holding on to his arm as he tried to pull back. "I meant to go over the reports with and…stuff."

"He's working the first shift today," Ranger said tonelessly. If I didn't know better, I could have sworn he was jealous. Only Ranger didn't do jealous.

"I have to go," he repeated and turned to leave.

"There's nothing going on between me and Tank." There, I said it. It felt unnecessary and ridiculous, but if he needed to hear it, I'd say it.

He nodded almost imperceptibly and left the kitchen, by the time I had scooted off the counter, he was gone. I got to the foyer in time to see the door click shut behind him.

What the hell had that been? Hot and heavy the one minute and ice cold the next? And they say women change their moods fast! Then again, ranger had been acting weird all morning, the way it had taken him forever to tell me about the murder investigation and…shit! I still had to find out if there was any truth to me being a suspect, I really couldn't spend the time to analyze Ranger's mind now.

I threw up my hands and turned towards the apartment theatrically, just as Bob came out of the dining room to see what the ruckus was. "Men," I threw at him and stomped into the bathroom.

When I was showered and dressed, I had a plan. I'd made a mental to do list and now I was writing it down. The people I needed to talk to, for example.

I grabbed my cell phone off the kitchen counter, clipped Bob's leash on his collar and was out the door and in the elevator before I realized I hadn't had any breakfast in the excitement. It wasn't even nine yet, there were bound to be jelly doughnuts at my parents' house, I realized, and I pressed the ground floor button before I knew what I was doing.

Bob was riding shotgun as I wove my key card in front of the garage door control. Nothing happened. I tried it once more just to be safe, but I knew it wasn't an accident. Damn him!

My car phone rang just when I waved the card a third time, and I didn't even look at the readout as I snagged it from its cradle. "You have some nerve!"

There was silence on the other end, then I heard breathing and then Hal clearing his throat. Probably I'd scared him with my greeting. "Hal? You gonna open the garage gate for me?"

"Uhm…Steph…you know I would if I could."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Okay, so I knew what he was trying to say. And I wasn't angry at him for following an order, I was angry at Ranger for giving it.

"Boss said to…you know…uhm…"

"Not let me leave?" I suggested.

"No, no, not that, but one of us has to be with you." He didn't sound like he volunteered for that job. I swear, I always try to be nice to my Merry Men, what happens to them in my company is almost never my fault. Well, with the exception of the day before in the deli, maybe.

I wondered if I should ask to talk to Ranger, hang up in a huff and call Ranger or just pout. I took a look at Bob. He was smiling at me and his eyes said to hurry up, he wanted a doughnut. And now I really wanted a doughnut, too. And without Ranger's hands on me, I could think straight and realize that he really didn't have any reason whatsoever to keep me locked up.

So I wrenched my door open, took the surprised Bob and my shoulder bag, and marched through the emergency exit that by law could not be locked from the inside. Ha! Don't get between me and my breakfast!

Of course, now Bob and I were on foot on Haywood Street, a few miles from the Burg and my parents, but I couldn't let that stop me, I was on a mission of independence. Yes, a couple days ago, even yesterday, this would have been incredibly stupid of me. But today, with all the bad guys behind bars, at nine AM on a Sunday morning, I was perfectly safe. The weather was nice and the birds were singing, it was a perfect early summer morning. Even Bob was excited, he got another walk out if it. Screw Ranger and his overdeveloped sense of security!

We were power walking down Haywood and took a right onto Liberty. I figured if I kept up this speed, I'd be at my parents' sometime before lunch, but it was worth saving my pride. Good thing Bob was a big dog who loved to run, if I had to carry him I'd be shit out of luck. I was so lost in my thoughts that I jumped when a black SUV turned right in front of me, missing me by a couple feet, and came to a screeching halt.

I took a couple steps back and had my head in my shoulder bag immediately, digging for my stun gun, I knew I had it in there. When I looked up, Lester was just coming around the front of his SUV, flashing me a grin. He leaned against the side, as if this was a casual meeting.

Suddenly I had a flashback to Alexander Ramos. They hadn't let him out of his mansion unsupervised either, and when he dared to take off, they sent bodyguards after him. Was that what my life had come to?

I gathered Bob's leash so that he was standing closer to me and fixed my Burg death glare on Lester. "What do you want?"

He raised his hands, surrendering. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I'm supposed to bring you back."

"And how're you supposed to do that?" I challenged him. What I really wanted to know was how he was feeling after the trauma the day before, but he didn't give me that choice. I had to settle for making sure there were no bandages or open wounds visible.

"Come on, Steph, don't give me a hard time. You owe me," he said, and I could tell he was trying to lay on the charm.

Not that it wasn't working, Lester was incredibly hot, and when he did his crooked grin, he could melt ice bergs. But I had my pride to consider.

"I owe you," I admitted. "But not for a favor to somebody else. I'm not going back now, I have a date with a doughnut at my parents' house. I can't go with you."

"You gonna let me get physical?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes and slipped my hand into my shoulder bag again, this time finding the stun gun. I pulled it out and switched it on. "I mean it, Lester, get out of my way."

Okay, so probably I wouldn't have stunned him and probably he knew that.

"Ooh, a challenge," he joked, but didn't move.

I know I thought Ranger and I'd shared this ESP thing the day before, but now it was as if Bob had some of it, too. I never even looked at him, and yet he moved at the same second I did and we managed to round the SUV in record speed. Bob jumped in through the open driver's side door and I scooted in behind him.

By the time Lester turned, I had the door closed and the locks secured. He had been considerate enough to leave the motor running with the key in the ignition.

Lester grabbed the passenger side door handle, but I threw the car into reverse and backed out of the side street so fast, he was forced to let go. I blew him a kiss as I threw the gearshift into Drive and took off, thinking he might not forgive me for this one.

But on the bright side, at least I knew he was okay now, after feeling so guilty for dragging him into the deli from hell the day before. I felt a little bad because now he had to walk back to RangeMan, but hey, he shouldn't have tried to get in my way, right?

"We're gonna get our sugar fix after all," I told Bob as we were speeding down Liberty and I rolled down the window for him.

I got to my parents' house ten minutes later and although I hadn't called and Sunday mornings were not my usual visiting hours, my mother and grandmother were standing behind the screen door, awaiting me. Eerie. My dad's car wasn't in the driveway, so I assumed he was out with the cab, which often translates to playing cards with his friends.

I was able to snag a doughnut out of the box before my mom started. "Look at your hair!!!" she wailed. "No wonder the phone wouldn't stop ringing yesterday," she said.

"Yeah," Grandma chimed in, "we had to pull the cord out when we went to bed. You were big news!" She laid the Sunday paper out in front of me. The story was on the front page. Shit.

"And this is what we had to wake up to," Mom lamented, pointing at the (very unflattering) picture of me. "You didn't even call to tell us you were okay."

She was right, I'd forgotten. I'd been so happy to be alive that I'd only thought of 'celebrating' with Ranger.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Things got very hectic and I…"

"Mary Sokolov's daughter never makes the front news being taken hostage," Mom continued. "And I've never even read anything about Bridget Dallmeier's two daughters in the paper. Why me?" She looked heavenwards.

Since nothing I could say was going to make it better, I just ate my doughnut and pretended to listen. I understood Mom had to vent. Probably she'd been worried about me when the phone had started ringing. When she arrived at the hiring the button factory was doing, I knew her lamenting would come to an end soon.

"You really outdid yourself with this, Stephanie. It was the biggest headline since…" Grandma said.  
I looked up from my doughnut when she didn't continue. She was looking down at her hands, twisting a tissue. And I knew what she was going to say.

"Mother," Mom said, the accusation obvious in her tone.

"It's okay," I just said, hoping that would end it. 'The biggest news since Joe's murder', that's what she had meant to say, forgetting in her excitement that she was talking to me.

But Grandma always recovers fast. "Well, it's big news, that's for sure. I can't wait for my appointment tomorrow. I'll be the star at the beauty parlor!"

Mom tsked and put a cup of coffee in front of me. "So what happened?" she wanted to know. "I think I deserve the truth after hearing ten different versions from the gossip mongers."

So I told her. I didn't elaborate on some gory details, but other than that, I told her the truth. Mom was shaking her head when I was done, lost for words, but Grandma Mazur was grinning. "That's a pip of a story! I'll be the center of attention for days!"

It wasn't easy, but I finally managed to change the subject over to Valerie and her kids. Mom always had something to tell me about them, and it distracted her.

"Are you staying for lunch?" she asked after the coffee was gone and the doughnut box was empty.

I'd heard my cell phone vibrate several times in the hour I'd been at my parents', I didn't think it was such a good idea to ignore it much longer. "I have a case to wrap up, I need to go back to the office."

My mother didn't look pleased with that answer but she didn't say anything. I figured that was a good opportunity to make my exit and clipped Bob's leash back on. Her mood brightened when I told her I'd be back for dinner, so I figured all was well.

I said my goodbyes and fished my cell phone out of my purse on the way out, planning on calling Ranger. I didn't have to. His Cayenne was parked right behind Lester's SUV. Oh boy.

Ranger got out of his car when I pulled the front door closed behind me, his patented blank expression on his face. I knew I should have answered my cell phone! Lester's car was tracked by RangeMan and I had a GPS tracker in my purse, so it wasn't like they didn't know where I was. I just didn't think Ranger would like that argument much.

I hadn't asked, but that thing Ranger had had to go to earlier was probably a client meeting or something, I knew he wouldn't have left for just paperwork. Now I was wondering if he'd left that meeting after he'd heard what I did to Lester or if he'd come over right after.  
But I hadn't done anything, I reminded myself. He'd sent Lester after me, and I'd had the right to disagree. I lifted my head and straightened my shoulders as I walked down the front steps.

He leaned against his car and crossed his arms over his chest. "I was asking for one day, Babe."

"No," I objected, "you didn't ask. You told me. And then you sent Lester after me like I'm some five-year-old." I was keeping my voice down with some effort. I didn't want the entire neighborhood to hear me and I didn't want Ranger to dismiss me as hysteric. And I tried really hard to ignore how gorgeous Ranger looked, just standing there, his biceps bulging, his t-shirt so tight it looked painted on. I hated it when my hormones took over at the least convenient moment.

"I didn't send Lester. Hal panicked so Lester volunteered," Ranger said. "I just asked for Hal to keep an eye on you."

"And keep me at RangeMan," I added, licking my lips involuntarily.

Ranger's eyes dropped to my lips. "To keep you safe," he said softly.

I threw up my hands, exasperated, trying to ignore how standing so close to Ranger was melting my resolve pretty quickly.

"Whatever," I said and pulled Bob closer to me. "I'm sorry about Lester. But he didn't give me a choice."

Ranger smiled full-on. "He won't be teasing Hal about the stun-gun incident anymore, that's for sure."

I rolled my eyes, I didn't really want to relive _that_ moment of my Merry Men history either.

I tried to side-step him and get to the SUV, but he reached out and put his hand on my forearm. "_One_ day, Babe," he repeated and pulled me toward him. I didn't resist.

He tucked a curl behind my ear and kissed me, taking me by surprise. I'd expected a lecture, or at least an argument. Instead, he was holding me against him, deepening the kiss, and I dropped Bob's leash.

"Is that Ranger with you?" my mother wanted to know.

I didn't have to turn to know she was standing behind the screen door. Probably Grandma Mazur was right behind her. I broke the kiss and turned around.

"Yes, Mom. We'll be back for dinner," I hollered and waved, and Mom smiled and retreated.

Ranger was still holding on to me and when I turned back, he was smiling. A lot better than the blank face, I decided. A smile was good.

"Christ Steph, I came here planning to haul you back to RangeMan, kicking and screaming if necessary, and make sure you stay there."

"What changed?" I asked innocently, although I could feel the change press into my abdomen.

"You're the kind of woman 1000 ships are launched for," he said and pushed himself off his car to open the passenger door for me.

"Huh?"

He was still smiling, gently nudging me inside the car. "Get in now or we'll be the kind of spectacle the Burg never forgets."

"As you punish me for being such a disobedient girl?" I asked, suddenly feeling very cocky and not the least bit irritated anymore.

Ranger's eyes darkened as he pulled back and shut my door. Less than ten seconds later he angled himself into the driver seat and started the car.

"What about Bob?" I asked. "What about Lester's car?"

"Do you really care?" he asked, cutting his eyes to me. His scent drifted over to me and I shook my head slowly. Damned hormones. Good thing Ranger was a good guy, I don't think I'd have the power to care even if he'd been Jack the Ripper.

TBC

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A/N: Now what? They can't be serious about arresting Steph, can they? If so, should she hide? What do you think?? 

Hope you all have a wonderfully merry Christmas!!!


	26. Chapter 26

My apologies for taking so long to update. The holidays are always sort of chaotic and I don't get the quiet time I need to write.

Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts for the last chapter even though I know you must have been as stressed as I was.

Your reviews keep encouraging me to continue this, so please keep them coming, you have no idea what they mean to me. I'm the first one to admit I'm a review whore…

A special Thank You to Stayce for the friendship, help, and inspiration she gives daily.

Disclaimer: Most characters are borrowed from JE, any similarities with living persons is coincidental, and the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 26

By the time we got back to RangeMan, I had a hard time remembering what I'd been mad about. He had followed me, okay, but he hadn't rushed into my parents' house, dragging me kicking and screaming back to Haywood Street. He hadn't even asked me to come with him, it had just sort of happened.

Ranger's hand had been on my thigh the whole time, wandering up and down and between my legs at times, setting my skin on fire.

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind us, Ranger pinned me against the wall and crushed his lips to mine. I gasped at the sensation of his hard muscles against my body and his tongue against mine.

I barely noticed when Ranger nudged me out of the elevator, never breaking the kiss. He slid his hands around my hips and cupped my ass, and when he lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist.

And his phone chirped. "Don't answer that," I said, nipping his earlobe, but I knew he would.

Just a couple days ago, he had thrown his phone across the room when it interrupted us, and that hadn't been the first time. I knew I came first with Ranger, but RangeMan was, after all, his livelihood and his responsibility.

He touched my forehead with his and did an almost sigh. "Rain check," he said a little huskily as he slid me down the front of his body and grabbed his phone off his belt, "Talk."

His right arm was still around me, holding me to him, and I snuggled into his shoulder as I tried to calm my breathing.

He cut his eyes to me while he listened to the caller. "Call Austen," he instructed and disconnected.

Darren Austen was one of RangeMan's lawyers. He was usually called for criminal charges, as opposed to contracts or employment matters.

I swallowed. I knew it could be a number of things, but I'd seen Ranger's blank face slide into place. "What is it?" I forced myself to ask.

Ranger released me and unlocked his front door. "Hartung was offered a deal," he said tonelessly as he tossed his keys into the dish on the sideboard. "He'll walk if he can ID Guzzarella's killer."

"And can he?" I asked, meaning can he honestly. I already knew he couldn't claim to be an eye witness because he'd been in RangeMan custody when Guzzarella was killed. Except he was held sort of illegally.

"We can't really say he was here if he claims to have been at the murder scene, can we?" I asked, stepping closer to Ranger and wrapping my arms around his waist.

Ranger put his finger under my chin and tipped my face up. "You honestly think I care if they charge me with kidnapping if it means I get you off the hook?"  
"When you put it that way…no." I smiled.

"Plus there's still hope Hartung will finger the actual killer," Ranger pointed out."But it can't hurt for Austen to be on stand-by."

"You think Hartung will tell the truth after we held him here for days?"

Ranger moved one of his shoulders a quarter of an inch. The equivalent of a two-shoulder shrug in any other guy. "Anything's possible."

But not very likely. We'd held Hartung for days and he'd refused to speak English or know anything about anything, even after Hector tried his special methods of persuasion.

But still, even if he came right out and told the cops I shot Guzzarella, I had the home field advantage, I knew most of the cops on the Trenton police force, either in person or by name.

"I need to finish making those phone calls," I said, my hand already diving into my shoulder bag.

"Okay," Ranger said. "I need to check with Tank downstairs. If I ask you to stay here, will you stay?"

I looked up from the number pad on my phone. Ranger wasn't kidding. "If you say please," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

He blew out some air and gathered me into his arms. "Please," he whispered close to my ear. His breath moved my hair against my neck and I shivered at the sensation.

"Okay," I managed, clearing my throat.

"I'll call you as soon as I know anything," he said and kissed my earlobe before he pulled back and left.

I was still standing in the foyer, looking at the door Ranger had just closed, when my phone rang in my hand and I yelped in surprise.

It was my mom. I grimaced at the readout. I knew I should answer, but I'd just left their house and she knew I was okay, so I decided it just had to wait. When the beep alerted me to the message she'd left, I remembered that I hadn't listened to my voicemail in days. Maybe one of my cop friends had called to give me the heads up?

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and sat down at Ranger's desk with a steno pad and a pen, then I put my cell phone on speakerphone and dialed my voicemail. I groaned then the computer voice announced I had seventeen unheard messages.

An hour later I put my arms on the desk and rested my head on top of them. I'd made it. Seven of the messages had actually been important, the rest had been calls from my mother, my grandmother and people who wanted me to pay their bills.

Eddie Gazarra wanted me to call him back. Problem was, I didn't know if I wanted to hear what he had to say. I'm always wary when friends didn't say what they were calling about, just asking me to call back. What was so bad that Eddie couldn't tell my mailbox? Probably nothing, I was just nervous.

Lula wanted me to call her. And Vinnie had called personally to ask about my progress with my FTA and to tell me they'd be taken away from me if I didn't deliver by Wednesday. As if I didn't have enough problems already.

I emptied my water and got a beer, I needed to think. So far, no one had shown up to arrest me, right? So while it couldn't hurt to stay informed, I didn't have to fear the worst just yet.

"Oh for fuck's sake," I exclaimed and took a long pull from my beer, clutching my phone as I walked over to the couch. "Just do it!"

I took a deep breath while I waited for Eddie to pick up. Whatever it was, I told myself, I was better off knowing. Except I got Eddie's answering machine. Damn. There was no guarantee I'd have the courage to call him again later, so I told him I was returning his call and to call me as soon as possible and to leave a message with what was going on if he got my voicemail.

I disconnected and finished my beer, feeling better already. And I knew what I needed to feel even better. I needed to talk to Rex. Valerie had picked him up when I was in the hospital and Mary Alice and Angie were taking care of him, but suddenly I missed him more than I'd thought was possible. Bob was a good substitute most of the time, but he wasn't a hamster.

It may seem like denial, but I really needed Rex around to think straight. And I had to have him now.

I grabbed my keys and slung my bag over my shoulder. It wasn't too late to swing by Valerie's house, I figured. And with Rex, I might even have the guts to drive by the cop shop myself to find out if they wanted me. Maybe. Well okay, maybe I'd have the guts to call the other cops I knew for more information.

The elevator stopped on the fifth floor even though I'd pressed the button for the garage. The doors opened and Ranger stood in front of me. Ooops. I hadn't really forgotten I'd sort of kind of promised him I'd stay put, it was just a detour.

"I'll be right back," I promised and reached out for the 'close door' button.

"Remind me to send your mom some flowers," Ranger said as he slipped his hand between the closing doors and stepped into the elevator. "You must have been a terror as a kid and your mom deserves a medal."

"I'm not your kid, Ranger," I reminded him. Although normally I would have thought his comment was kind of funny, but under these circumstances, it just annoyed me.

Ranger leaned against one of the walls and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm well aware of that. Maybe I just didn't know what else to compare you to when you leave about a half hour after you promised me to stay."

I didn't want to admit that he had a point. I felt he was treating me like a child and I couldn't stand it. "Maybe I just felt like playing grown-up today and do whatever _I_ wanted?" I challenged him, leaning against the opposite wall and crossing my arms as well. He shook his head, exasperated, as the elevator doors pinged open.

"Did you re-enable my key fob or will I have to walk again?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"I'm driving," he said curtly and left the elevator.

Now I had two choices. I could lift up my nose, stalk past him and walk the three miles to Val's house, or I could slip into the smooth leather seat of Ranger's Porsche and have him drive me. Well, I figured, just because I'd let him drive me didn't mean I had to talk to him. I could give him the silent treatment until he treated me like an adult again. Really, I was much too exhausted to walk anyway.

I sled into the passenger seat and felt Ranger's eyes on me, but I didn't turn to look at him, I just clicked my seatbelt closed and adjusted my shoulder bag on my lap.

"I'm going to Val's house, she's at…"

"I know where your sister lives," Ranger interrupted me. "Look at me, Steph."

I hated when he did that. Now I had to look at him, because if I didn't, it'd really look childish. I sighed and lifted my eyes, meeting his gaze.

He reached out and tucked a stray curl behind my ear. "I can't do this if you keep thinking I'm inconveniencing you," he said. "This is not my paranoia, Babe, we don't know who or what is out there just waiting to catch you alone."

I took deep breaths, reminding myself to stay calm. This was the perfect opportunity for screaming, but Ranger wasn't Italian enough to understand that. What were Cuban men known for? Other than Ranger I didn't know any. I made a mental note to check with my friend Luisa, she'd once mentioned to me she knew oodles of Cuban men. Now there was an image. I couldn't even handle one!

"Earth to Steph," Ranger said and took my hand, pulling me out of my musings.

"Huh?"

"Can you look me in the eye and tell me you feel perfectly safe alone?"

I rolled my eyes. "Can _you_?"

He didn't fall for it, his face stayed emotionless. "When was the last time _I_ was kidnapped?" he asked and I almost expected him to stick out his tongue. Which was silly of course, it's something I would have done if I had the upper hand and knew it.

I gathered my thoughts for a moment, willing myself to stay calm. Again. "My kidnappers are in jail," I managed. "All of them. And I know you're not suggesting I hide from the cops."

Ranger cupped my face in his hand. "We don't know that yet. We're still running reports, checking sources. I'm trying to make sure they're all behind bars."

I sighed but didn't pull back. "Ranger, I appreciate it. But I'm going nuts being protected all the time. I have the tracker. I have the panic button."  
Ranger scoffed. "Yeah, like yesterday," he said and touched the bandage on my head with his fingertip.

"Yeah, like yesterday. When Lester was _with_ me," I pointed out. I raised my hand in the universal 'stop' gesture when Ranger wanted to object. "That's not Lester's fault. It's just that…well, it proves this shit can happen to me whether I'm alone or not! And since that's the case, I'd rather be alone every now and then."

He raised his other hand to cup my face with both hands, then he leaned in and brushed his lips over mine. "Why don't you just think about it as us spending more time together?" he suggested, the hint of a smile playing around his lips.

I groaned inwardly. When had I become such a brat? Here was Ranger, trying to persuade me to accept his help. Hello? Instead of being grateful he'd made my safety his priority I was whining about alone time. Mental eye roll.

"Okay," I said, not quite ready to admit I'd acted like an idiot. "We need to do more of that anyway. I wasn't thinking of it being in a car though…" I drifted off, leaning into him and kissing him with all I had.

We jerked apart when Ranger's elbow hit the horn and the loud honking filled the garage. "Not a make out car," Ranger quipped as he sank back into his seat.

"Who woulda thunk it?" I played along. "A chick magnet you can't make out in?" We laughed about that as Ranger started the car and the awkwardness was gone.

I knew Ranger had a point, there was no way of knowing if DalBo had any more accomplices. But at the same time, I had a point as well, I was in danger all the time, and he'd smother me if he wanted to protect me from every big bad wolf in Trenton.

Ranger cleared his throat and started the car. "So to Valerie's house then?"

"Please," I said and smiled innocently. "You will of course have to come in to guarantee my safety."

He groaned almost inaudibly and put the car in gear. "Let's hope the clown isn't home."

"If we miss him, he'll definitely be at my parents' tonight," I grinned.

This time, his groan was a little louder and I wondered if there was an eye roll accompanying in, but I couldn't see his eyes. He went into his zone while driving and I had a chance to make my mental to-do list.

Ranger had suggested I call all my cop contacts. I hadn't gotten further than Eddie. With a sigh, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Carl Costanza. I wasn't sure he knew more than Eddie, but I felt I had to do my part since the Merry Men were running all the searches on my behalf.

"Hey Gorgeous, you're looking for a date?" Carl greeted me and I rolled my eyes, but I still had to smile.

"Hi Carl. I'm looking for information, actually."

He sighed theatrically and I could hear the smile in his voice. "If that's what it takes to have some alone time with you…"

I love my friends. I was glad I'd had the little smile before I had to get all serious again.

"Carl, have you heard anything about the Guzzarella case?" I asked him.

"And when you say 'anything' you mean anything involving you, correct?"

My turn to sigh. "Uh-huh."

"I heard rumors that they're trying to finger you because your prints were on the gun. But they're still waiting on the autopsy report so they have an exact time of death. And they won't have that before tomorrow. So you may get a call tomorrow."

"A call?"

Carl chuckled. "Well yeah, what did you expect?"

"I…I don't know, I…just thought, they'd maybe…" I stuttered.

"You didn't think they'd want to arrest you, did you?"

I could feel Ranger's eyes on me, trying to gauge my reaction. "Well…yes. No. I don't know. I heard there was this deal…"

"No Steph," Carl assured me. "They'd have to go through a lot of friends of yours. No one would issue a warrant without solid proof. You know that. Just because he got offered a deal doesn't mean they don't triple-check everything he says. You have nothing to worry about." He took a breath. "And if I hear differently, I'll be the first to tell you about it!"

I thanked Carl and we disconnected and I sank back in my seat. "I have nothing to worry about," I whispered.

Ranger took my hand and squeezed it. "No, you don't," he confirmed.

My mood had lightened considerably when we pulled up in front of Valerie's house. Except now I was wishing I had called, the house looked awfully quiet. It was Sunday afternoon, they could be anywhere, I realized.

After I'd rung the doorbell a couple times it was confirmed. No one was home. Shit.

I pulled out my cell phone, but Ranger closed his hand over mine before I could open it. "I'm pretty sure they didn't take the little rat with them," he said on a smile and pulled a little tool out of his pocket.

Mental head slap. Of course Valerie didn't actually need to be home for me to pick up Rex if Ranger was with me! Half the time he's in my apartment he doesn't use the key, he says it takes the fun out of it.

Ranger had the front door open in a matter of seconds and I rushed by him to find my baby. I found him in Mary Alice's bedroom and wrapped my arms around his aquarium.

"Rex! My baby!" Okay, so I knew I was acting ridiculous, I couldn't help it, I was happy to see him.

Rex stopped running on his wheel and sniffed the air, probably wondering who this mad woman was. "Let's get you home and we can cuddle," I told him as I picked him up.

Ranger was in the doorway to the bedroom when I turned around. "I'll take him," he said. "You may want to leave your sister a note so she won't worry."

I handed Rex to Ranger with a grateful smile. It was so like him to think about that. I would have just taken Rex and worry about Val's or the kids' reaction later.

As Ranger left to take Rex to his car, I grabbed a pen and pad from Mary Alice's desk and scribbled a few words, thanking them for taking care of him for me and telling them he was back home with me now. Probably, they wouldn't even notice I'd taken him without having a key.

We were on our way back, I had Rex's aquarium on my lap and my arms wrapped around it, when I realized I hadn't told Ranger where I wanted to go. "Can you take me to my place?" I asked him. "I want to go home."

Ranger hesitated. "I'll let you watch me all night," I suggested and the hint of a smile played around his mouth.

"You don't think of my place as home?" he asked without taking his eyes off the road.

That seemed like an unusually emotional remark for Ranger. I hadn't thought he'd pick up on my meaning of wanting to go 'home'.

"You don't even think of it as home," I pointed out.

It was true. Time after time, Ranger had told me the RangeMan apartment was 'just a place' or 'where he sleeps' or a variation of that. He'd never called it home. Not that he'd called any other place home, like I said, too emotional for Ranger.

"I want to go home," I repeated when he didn't respond and hugged Rex's cage a little closer.

Yes, I know how stupid it is to become so attached to a hamster. I was attached to Bob as well, but not as deeply. Rex has always been the heartbeat in my house, for as long as I've had him. And for me to have some quiet time to think, I needed him around, it was as simple as that.

I hadn't been to my apartment in over a week. The mailbox in the lobby was overflowing with all the flyers and bills that had been cramped into it.

We took the elevator upstairs and still Ranger hadn't said a thing. It wasn't unusual for him to be quiet, but his remark had been, I thought.

"Do you want me to think of your apartment as home?" I asked, unable to get over it.

He looked up, his one eyebrow slightly raised. "What?"

The elevator doors pinged open and Ranger exited, motioning for me to stay behind him. I knew the drill, he was going to check my apartment. This time, I actually agreed it was warranted, since I didn't know if anyone had bothered to check in the week I hadn't been there. Rex and I stayed behind while Ranger unlocked my front door and drew his gun.

"Just like old times, huh?" I asked Rex. He'd stopped running and was hunched on his hind legs, sniffing the air excitedly. Probably he was hungry. I knew I was.

Ranger returned a minute later with an unreadable expression on his face as he closed the door behind him.

"What is it?" I wanted to know? "What's going on?" I feared the worst.

Over the last few years, I've found just about everything from flowers to body parts waiting to surprise me in my apartment. And countless visitors as well.

"Who's in there?" I asked ranger when he didn't respond.

"No one's in there," he finally said, nudging me back towards the elevator.

I stood my ground. "Then I want to go in."

Ranger shook his head slightly and put his arm around my shoulders. "Not a good idea, Babe. Someone was in there, and it's not a pretty sight."

"I'm a big girl," I said with a defiance Ranger didn't deserve. "I'm sure I can handle it."

With that, I shrugged his arm off and walked towards my door. Of course now I had the dilemma of only having two hands, both of which were wrapped around Rex's aquarium. My keys were in my purse over my shoulder, and I wasn't ready to let go of Rex.

I heard Ranger blow out a breath behind me and I could imagine the exasperated expression that went with it, then his hand sneaked by me on my left and he unlocked my door again.

"Don't say you weren't warned," he said as he pushed the door open for me.

I closed my eyes for a short prayer, then I opened them slowly. My first impression was that it could have been worse. Yes, someone had clearly gone to town on my apartment, had taken the time to take everything off the shelves and throw it onto the floor, from what it looked like, but it was still my apartment and I couldn't see any dead people.

I took a deep breath and entered, forcing my eyes straight ahead as I carried Rex's cage into the kitchen. Except there was no place to put him. They'd been as thorough with the kitchen as they'd been in the hallway. All cabinet doors and all drawers stood open and every single item had been pulled out of them and strewn across the counters and the floor.

I bit my lip, determined to stay strong. I knew I could do this, and I wanted to prove to Ranger I could.

When I really couldn't find an empty spot for the aquarium, I just pushed stuff off of the counter with the cage itself until it fit.

"Don't worry, I'll clean it up in just a bit," I told Rex, proud of the calm tone of my voice. God knows I wasn't feeling calm.

Tears started pricking my eyes and I felt the urge to scream and ask why and then have an all out breakdown of how unfair it all was and why me and all that. But I was fighting all of that, determined to 'keep it together', as Mom would have put it.

"Steph, it's gonna be okay," Ranger said from behind me and I almost jumped because I'd been concentrating so hard.

"I know," I said almost absentmindedly and started picking up shards of dishes off the counter.

"Really," Ranger insisted and took my wrist, urging me to look at him. "It's just a place."

And that was it as far as restraint went. My apartment was _not_ just a place. That was the difference between me and Ranger in a nutshell. I had a _home_. And it had been violated.

I held my breath for a second, trying to count to ten, but then all my emotions bubbled to the surface at once.

"It's _not_ just a place," I said, the tears running down my face unchecked. "It's _my_ place! It's home!"

Ranger closed the distance between us in two strides and wrapped his arms around me. "I can fix it," I said, pressing my fists against his chest, pushing him away. "Lemme go, "I have to clean."

But his grip never loosened. And then it hit me. Literally. I felt like a huge tidal wave was crashing right above my head. I lifted my head to make eye contact with Ranger.

"This will never end, will it?" I pushed harder, trying to get away from him. "This is my life! I build it, it's destroyed. I can't love anything. It's killed as soon as I do."

I took a step back, pushing him harder than ever. "Stay away from me! What the fuck are you still doing here? Aren't you afraid I'll get you killed off too? If I love you, you'll die."

I ran my forearm over the counter by the sink, sending everything that had been dumped on it flying. "I might as well finish it for them! I won't give them the satisfaction, I'll do it myself! Get out!!"  
"Steph!" Ranger said, in a voice that was as close to yelling as Ranger ever got, trying to get through to me. He took a step back to look me in the eye, holding me by my shoulders. "Stop it! Calm down! It's just. An. Apartment!"

It was no use. Thinking back to that moment, I shake my head in disbelief. I was having a full-on nervous breakdown. As much as I pulled or pushed, Ranger held on to me, refusing to let go. How he managed to stay so calm, I'll never know. But I know it saved my sanity, if not my life that day.

I must have said something in response, or rather wailed something, but I don't remember what, I just remember Ranger shaking me until my attention returned to him.

"Steph," he said again, trying to pull me closer. "It's gonna be okay. Trust me."

I knew it was nuts to think that way, but looking at my apartment in shambles around me, I couldn't help it. First Joe. Now my apartment. Ranger was the only thing left alive that I loved. He and my family.

"OH GOD!" I screamed and made a final attempt to break free. It had come so sudden, I was successful.

I stumbled backwards and tried to sidestep Ranger to get out of the kitchen. "My parents! I have to warn them!"

Now I was convinced that whoever had destroyed my apartment was on his way to my parents' house. Like I said, full-fledged breakdown.

I didn't actually see Ranger anymore, I realize now. I saw an obstacle in my way, someone who was keeping me from protecting my family. It's hard to describe. I knew it was Ranger, but I didn't.

Ranger blocked me. "I'll send a car," he said. "You can't go anywhere in your condition."

He wasn't mad; his voice wasn't even much louder than normal. And that just drove me insane. He just couldn't see what I saw, that I had to go, right that second. He became the enemy. My hand dove into my shoulder bag, producing my gun.

"Let me go," I hissed, not even registering his eyes slightly widened. "I have to save them."

"Stephanie!" Just my name, but it sounded like a warning.

"You don't want me to save them," I wailed. "You want them dead!"

Ranger's hand was a blur of motion, before I realized it, my gun was in his hand. "Sit down," he ordered, applying pressure to my shoulder so I would comply.

"I'm not your dog," I hissed, trying to turn away.

He took my face in both his hands, angling my head so I would look at him. "Listen to me," he said, his tone allowing no objection.

"Your family is okay. And you will be okay too, give yourself a minute. Sit down. Take a breath. We'll leave as soon as you can think straight again."

His voice, more than his words, broke through to me. It was as if a switch had been flicked off, I collapsed onto the floor so fast, Ranger could barely hold on to me. I was all raged out and I was all screamed out, all that was left was numbness.

He gathered me in his arms and held me, and like so many times before, shared his warmth and his strength with me. I don't know if it was minutes or hours, but finally, hearing the steady rhythm of his heart beat calmed me down and I wrapped my arms tight around his waist, holding him even closer.

"Oh God," I whispered as I realized what I'd just said and done, burying my face in his chest.

He slowly stroked my head. "It's okay," he whispered close to my ear. "Now you know why I didn't want you to see it."

"Ranger, I'm not your little girl you can protect from all evil," I said, lifting my head slowly. "I'm a big girl. I can handle it."

I struggled to get to my feet. "And I'm starting in the kitchen. Please leave. Now."

My arm was shaking a little as I pointed at the door, and I had to keep my eyes on the floor because I couldn't meet his, but I meant what I said.

I had to do this, and I had to do it alone. I was done borrowing strength.

Ranger's expression was emotionless, his eyes never left mine. "I'll leave if it's what you want," he said calmly.

TBC

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A/N: I had a feeling it would be too much for Steph at some point…but do you think it's such a good idea, for her emotional state as well as her security, to be sending Ranger away _now_? Would you rather see Ranger take charge now? 


	27. Chapter 27

Thank yo all so very much for your reviews. They inspire me, I shamelessly take my ideas from them, and they're the only way I can know what you think. Please keep your comments and suggestions coming, I love them.

Hugs, kisses, and huge thank yous to **Stayce** for putting up with me and helping me every day!

Disclaimer: Most characters are borrowed from JE, any similarities with living persons is coincidental, and the title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

Spoilers: None

Rated R for adult content

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 27

Remember when you were a kid, and all you had to say was 'I'm sorry' and everything was okay again? And then later, when all you had to do was scream 'Do-over!' and all your fuck-ups didn't count? I can't remember a day when I didn't wish I could go back to those days.

Ranger was still looking at me; I could feel it, even though I didn't lift my eyes to meet his. I knew he meant it; he would leave if I told him I really meant it. So now was my split-second chance to make up my mind. Did I want him gone? Did I want him to leave, right this second, and close the door behind him, in more ways than one?

The only thing I knew was that I didn't know and I couldn't think about it right that second. My head was going to explode if I thought about it. I had a feeling I was going to regret it, but I nodded slowly, looking towards the front door.

"I mean it. Please go." I forced my eyes up at the last possible moment. The feelings I read in Ranger's eyes broke my heart.

I'd expected his blank face, maybe even anger, I wasn't prepared for hurt. It was gone so fast, I was sure I'd imagined it as he left the kitchen and I heard the front door close a moment later. Maybe I'd just seen my emotions reflected in his eyes.

Without any air left, I collapsed to the floor. It was a miracle I didn't hurt myself because I came down on broken china, shards of glass, silverware and various kitchen utensils. Or maybe I did hurt myself, it's hard to tell, I was so numb.

What the hell was wrong with me? 'Can I have a do-over?' I thought. 'Can I go back to the part where Ranger tells me I don't want to see it and I believe him, we turn around and go back to his place?'

When would I start believing Ranger did everything for a reason, and if he said I didn't want to see it, I really didn't want to see it?

That stupid line from a movie popped into my head, 'There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone leave your life forever'. I knew Ranger knew I hadn't sent him out of my life. I mean, I was pretty sure he knew. Oh hell.

My phone started ringing in my shoulder bag. It was close enough for me to hear it, but I had no intentions of answering it. I couldn't think of anyone I wanted to talk to. Ever again.

"Pity, party of one, your table is ready," I croaked and smiled at my own joke, until the tears ran down my face again.

As if from far away rather than a few feet away on the counter, I heard Rex crawl out of his soup can and onto his wheel. A moment later, the soft creaking filled the kitchen. The sound of home, I couldn't help thinking, the reason I'd needed him back. And for some reason, that thought brought on another sob.

So there I was. Numb, exhausted and wallowing in self pity. On second thought, it was a good thing I'd sent Ranger away, at least he didn't have to see me like this. He'd probably be as disgusted as I was with myself.

I groaned when I realized I was sinking even deeper into moping and tried to give myself a push. 'Focus on the positive,' I told myself. 'Get a grip!' This had to end.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and counted to ten. Then I found room on the floor for my hands and boosted myself up. Once up, I forced myself to take a good look around the kitchen.

Yeah, okay, it was pretty bad. But it could have been worse. It looked like all they'd done is pull everything out and turn the drawers upside down. They hadn't gone and smeared the contents of the fridge all over the counters, for example.

I found the box of trash bags in the debris, yanked one out and started filling it with everything that was broken. Just like Cinderella, except I was separating salvageable from broken. A half hour later, I had three trash bags full, a couple glasses and a few plates and cups intact in the sink, and the counters and floor were clean. It was a start.

When my phone rang again in my shoulder bag, I picked up the bag and threw it out into the hallway. It had to wait, I was on a mission to restore my sanity.

I sorted the silverware back into the drawer, put the dishes back into the cabinet, sorted the remaining food back into the fridge and hauled the full trash bags out into the foyer to be dumped, ignoring the mess in the rest of the apartment both ways.

When I was done, I allowed myself another look around. The kitchen looked normal again. Granted, the inside of the cabinets didn't but I'd closed the doors so I could ignore that. At least it appeared like before, and that was good enough for now.

"See, I can do this," I told Rex and dropped a couple mini carrots into his food dish.

He paused on his wheel, his whiskers whirring, then he dashed out, crammed the carrots into his cheeks and disappeared into his soup can. Business as usual. It made me smile because somehow it signaled normal was on its way.

The living room was next. My home phone rang as I left the kitchen and I just knew it was my mom, wanting to know why I hadn't shown up for dinner. I glanced at the phone but decided she'd just have to wait with the rest of my messages and didn't listen to what she had to say on the answering machine.

I was armed with the box of trash bags and went to work. In the back of my mind, I wondered if it was such a good idea to be cleaning up, shouldn't I call the cops to take fingerprints maybe, but then I dismissed my worries and went to work.

Miraculously, the TV had survived, there were only a couple broken knick knacks and torn books and magazines. Within another half hour, I'd filled another two bags and the couch had one less cushion, but the living room looked okay again. Moreover, I was sort of proud of myself for taking charge like that. While I was on this roll, I charged into the foyer, grabbed the full bags and maneuvered the front door open.

Since I couldn't see well over the mountain of trash in my arms, I never saw what was in my way until I hit it. There was a grunt and a muffled curse, and we both went down in a heap.

I caught a glimpse of a black combat boot and smiled. "I sort of meant out-out when I said 'leave'," I said, unable to hide how happy I was Ranger had camped out in my hallway.

But the next second, the smile froze. As the owner of the boot pushed himself up and extended a hand towards me.

"You okay?" Cal asked.

I pushed a trash bag off my chest and took his hand, heat creeping into my cheeks. "I'm fine."

If he noticed my embarrassment, he didn't show it. "You need a hand with these?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'm on door-duty," he grinned, picking up the bags that had thankfully stayed intact during our collision. "Junior's in the car downstairs and..."

"Of course," I cut him off.

Ranger had dispatched a team to watch over me. How stupid to believe he'd camp out in front of my door. He had a company to run, he was probably totally behind after babysitting me earlier, and since I'd made it clear I didn't want him around, he'd taken his cue.

By now, Cal had picked up all the trash bags easily that I'd struggled with earlier. "I take it these are going into the dumpster?"

He looked kind of helpless, like he didn't know how to 'handle' me. When I look back now, it seems funny how this tiny girl made this big man feel uncomfortable.

I nodded, suddenly numb again. One step forward, two rooms clean, and two steps backwards. Mental head slap.

"Thanks," I mumbled and retreated back into my apartment.

Once the door was closed, I sank against it to the floor. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," I berated myself. "You sent him away, what the fuck did you expect him to do other than leave?"

This time though, before I could feel all sorry for myself again, I pulled myself together and stalked into the bathroom. I felt grimy from cleaning but I wanted to wash off more than sweat and dirt, I wanted to clear my head.

Whoever had ransacked my apartment had also stopped in the bathroom, but since it was a small bathroom, damage was minimal. I'd need a new shower curtain since the old one had been torn clear off the hooks, but after I'd flushed about a roll of toilet paper that had been spread on the floor and had scooped up all my cosmetics into the sink, it didn't look half bad. And who needed a shower, a bath would do the trick, I thought and opened the faucet.

After a few minutes in the hot water, I began to relax. And I continued the mental list I'd started earlier.

I had to talk to Harry, I decided. Try to have an uninterrupted conversation with him. He was the only one who could give me the real background on Guzzarella, and DalBo for that matter. And a phone call wouldn't do, this one had to be face to face.

Then I had to set aside at least an hour to go through all my voicemail messages on my cell phone and clear them up once and for all. And I should probably answer the phone from now on so that they didn't re-accumulate.

I was contemplating the pros and cons of phone answering when my door bell rang. Probably Cal would take care of it, I figured. My own personal Merry Man and butler. I still didn't want to see or talk to anyone.

A moment later someone was banging at the door. So either Cal wasn't back yet or…I didn't want to think about the or. Merry Men were invincible, nothing could happen to them on the way to the dumpster, I told myself.

There was no second round of banging and I relaxed into the tub again.

And then I shrieked very unladylike as my feet splashed down from the wall where they'd been resting and into the water when the door was yanked open.

When I'd cleared the soap out of my eyes, I was able to see Ranger, leaning against the doorjamb, the blank face firmly in place, unreadable.

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to scream 'What are you doing here?' more or if I wanted to jump out of the tub and wrap myself around him. Was I happy that he'd come back or mad because he didn't stay away like I'd asked him?

In the end, I just stared at him, waiting for him to make the first move.

"You didn't answer your door," he said, his voice calm.

"I'm naked," I pointed out.

An almost smile played around his lips as his eyes wandered over my body. "I can see that."

No, I decided, I wasn't mad he had ignored my request. I was way too happy to see him because a part of me had wondered if he'd left for good.

But still, I had to ask. "What are you doing here?"

Before Ranger could answer, there was a loud bang from behind him, and I jumped again, making the water splash over the rim. Ranger turned his head and seemed to glare at someone, and I shrunk back under the bubbles.

"Is there someone here with you?"

"That would be the bell ringers," Ranger said and smiled at his own joke.

He pushed himself off the doorjamb, grabbed the bath towel that I'd put on the counter and unfolded it for me. "Otherwise known as Hal and Junior. The cleanup crew."

"The…what?" I stuttered and Ranger smiled again.

He held out the towel for me and bent down with it. "Now…are you coming out or am I going in to get you?"

I stood up a little dazed. How long had it been since I'd sent Ranger away, a couple hours? I was sure I wouldn't see him for a long time, if ever, and honestly, I hadn't gotten to that part in my mind yet, I'd thrown myself into the cleanup.

"They're…cleaning?" I asked as Ranger slung the towel around me, and I caught myself wishing his arms stayed around me.

"They had to get some supplies first. Cal was in front of your door while I got you a little pick-me-up."

"Pick-me-up?" Okay, so I knew how I sounded, but I couldn't help it.

I sounded like the chlorine fumes from the hot water had gotten to my brain. Probably Ranger knew me well enough to understand I was just confused, not entirely stupid.

Ranger inclined his head towards my bedroom. "It's on the bed."

And then he left. I could hear him talk to the guys in my apartment, but when I followed him a minute later, after I'd toweled off and put on my bathrobe, I only saw Junior. In my current state, I would have believed I'd imagined it all, except when I turned around, I saw the Dunkin' Donuts bag and tray sitting on my bed.

"You okay?" Junior wanted to know. He was dressed in RangeMan black and had an armful of books that had been pulled out of the bookcase.

"Peachy keen," I told him and closed the bedroom door so he couldn't ask me any more questions.

They were Boston Crèmes, and there were two of them in the bag. Until I actually grabbed one, I half expected them to turn into carrots or celery sticks, unable to believe Ranger had brought me trans fat laden doughnuts. I closed my eyes as I bit into the first one and immediately, my life wasn't so bad anymore. Yes, I had to throw half my closet off the bed before I could lie down on it, but when I did, I could savor my favorite doughnut. And now it made perfect sense Ranger had left so quickly, it must have been all he had in him to actually buy them. That must have been the only reason.

Denial was still my best friend and with a mouthful of sweet cream, it was easy to hold on to!

I washed the second doughnut down with the coffee Ranger had brought and the food did its magic, I felt better by the minute. Taking a deep breath, I sank back onto the mattress.

A knock on the door interrupted my beginning happiness a minute later.

"Um, Steph?" Junior started, poking his head into my bedroom.

I had to take a deep breath. I didn't want to come across as a bitch, but I really needed to be alone. As much as I appreciated the help Ranger had provided, it wasn't what I wanted. Before I'd run into Cal, I'd been on a roll, taking action, pulling myself out of the muck. Now Ranger had swept in and was taking charge. He'd dispatched two men to 'take care of the mess'. How could I explain to him or even Junior that I didn't want any help, that it was my mess to clean up? They were trying to help me.

The words 'ungrateful brat' came to mind, but they didn't quite fit. I wasn't ungrateful, I was independent. Like I'd promised Tank a week ago.

I sat up and downed the last of my coffee. "It's okay, Junior, I'm up."

"You ready for us to clean this room now?"

With one last deep breath, I got up. "No, that's okay. I got this one."

He opened the door all the way and stepped into the bedroom. "Boss said to…"

I held up my hand in the universal stop gesture. "It's okay. I know what he said."

Well, I didn't know, but I could imagine. From Junior's reaction, I was guessing cleaning my apartment had been an order. Ranger was going to help me himself, but he'd respected that I needed some space from him.

Junior looked a little lost. He was sensing my resistance and now he was probably torn between shrugging and leaving and sticking it out. He raised his eyebrows. "What's it gonna be then?"

Probably he was wondering if I was going to lose it any moment, trying to tread carefully. I was still in my robe, but the towel had fallen off my wet hair and it most likely looked a little scary by now.

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it a little. "I feel better now. I can do this myself, although I appreciate your help."

There, didn't that sound nice and sane, I thought.

"Boss said to…"

I took a calming breath. Junior couldn't have known he was pushing it. I decided to be honest with him. "The thing is, I kinda want to be alone, if that's okay with you?"

"Oh," he just said, already backing up. "Sure, okay. We're just about done out here anyway."

I made a mental note to have a talk with him once I could think straight again, take him out for a drink maybe. Anything to get rid of the look he was giving me right now, as if he was wondering why Ranger bothered.

He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "We'll just be downstairs then."

I nodded, I didn't know what I could add to make it okay. So I tried a small smile and a finger wave.

When the door closed behind him, I fell back onto my bed. Next, Junior would be calling Ranger. And I doubted there would be doughnuts after that. But maybe he'd bring Valium.

Staring at the ceiling, I made a decision. I was going to forget about that for now. I'd deal with it later. For now, back to my to-do list. Who was I going to call again? I grabbed a pen and paper to finally write it down. Time to be in charge again, time to show Ranger I could help myself.

When I was all done a half hour later, the apartment was quiet, I hadn't heard a sound since the front door had closed. My land line hadn't rung either, although my cell phone may have buzzed like crazy, it was in the kitchen after all. I enjoyed the quiet.

My plan was to first finish cleaning up the apartment, talk to the people that could give me the necessary information, and then call Ranger all sane and calm so he could see I hadn't lost it after all.

I stood in my bedroom, hands on my hips, slowly turning around to assess the damage. Probably the cops wouldn't have been able to get any evidence from the mess, I reasoned, what were the odds they could find the people who did this? In the meantime, they'd sent a CSI team who would root around my underwear and lipsticks. No, thank you.

It didn't look like anything had been stolen. Clearly, the intention had been to scare me or to demoralize me. Well, they'd succeeded, but I was getting over it.

In the bedroom, my clothes had been ripped off the hangers and off the shelves in the closet and strewn all over the floor. All shoe boxes had been turned upside down. The mess was overwhelming, but it didn't look like anything had been destroyed, like the carved cushion in the living room.

I tied my hair up with a scrunchie and went to work. Since most of my clothes were on the floor, they'd all have to be washed. I just bunched them up and threw them in more trash bags, to be taken to Mom's house.

By ten at night, I had the whole apartment clean again. Hal and Junior had cleaned up the hall and the foyer, I'd already taken care of the kitchen and the living room before, and now I was done with the bathroom and the bedroom. You'd have to look closely to see anything had been wrong just an hour earlier. All in all, I'd lucked out, I didn't need to repaint or re-carpet. Either they just wanted to send a message, or they'd been interrupted, I figured.

Again I took a slow look around, and I couldn't help feeling a sense of pride at what I'd accomplished. And I was amazed at how much better I felt. Even though nothing had really changed, I'd gotten up and dusted myself off instead of giving in to the despair and self-pity.

I walked over to the kitchen and helped myself to a beer. "Yep, Rex, I can still do it," I told him. He didn't stop his evening jog.

I took my beer and my list over to the living room and plopped down on the couch. I had to call Ranger, I realized. He'd consider it my move. He was giving me space and I had to tell him when I'd have enough space.

Sighing, I picked up my big list. 'Call/Meet Harry', was the first item. It was too late for that now. 'Check messages/call back' was next, meaning my cell phone messages. Another sigh. It was never too late to listen to those, I realized as I retrieved my cell phone from my shoulder bag and hit the mailbox button.

My mom had called four times. How was this possible, I'd erased her messages from the days before a few hours ago? Lula and Mary Lou had each left two messages. Again. I owed them big time. There was only one message I saved, the one with the heavily accented voice.

"You sink you ah pretty smaht, don't you? But I'm vatching you."

I shivered involuntarily. Was it Hartung? DalBo? Any of their henchman? It was impossible to tell, and there was no time stamp on the message. But I'd listened to my messages earlier, so it was recent.

Now I was supposed to call RangeMan, play the message for them, have them do their thing. Or I could remember how I used to do things before I had their backup, the old fashioned way.

I stepped over to the living room window and peeked outside. It was hard to miss the shiny black SUV parked in the lot. But it was impossible to tell who was in it.

I'd snuck out on the Merry Men before. But that seemed wrong now. I wanted to do this myself, but I didn't want to sneak out like a kid. No, I thought, straightening my shoulders, I was going to tell them and then I would ask them to leave me alone.

I practically ran into the bathroom to put on some make-up, then back into the bedroom to get dressed. Just as I grabbed my shoulder bag to leave, I realized I had no car. Damn. My brand new Hummer was sitting in Ranger's garage.

'Could you take me to RangeMan and then leave me alone, please?' somehow didn't sound right.

I sighed and bit my lip, going through the list of my friends in my head. Since Carl was on my to-do list anyway, I decided to call him. He was a bachelor, he'd still be up.

"Tell me you're not in trouble but just looking for a hot date," he answered the phone on the second ring. I chuckled. Good old Carl.

"I'm not in trouble," I said. "But I need your help."

"This is getting better and better," Carl said and I could feel him relax on the other end.

"Do you know who the primary on the Guzzarella case is?" I wanted to know.

He hesitated for just a moment. "Riley, I think, why?"

"I need to talk to him."

"Steph, relax, they're not gonna arrest you," Carl soothed.

"And I'm not gonna wait for them to maybe come up with that idea," I explained. "I may be able to help him."

"Her," Carl corrected. "Detective Heather Riley. How do you think you can help?"

"I don't know yet," I admitted. "That's what I want to find out. Do you know when she'll be in tomorrow?"

"I can arrange a meeting, if you're serious," Carl offered. "Are you sure about this?"

I bit my lip. Was I? Suppose I was a lot less on the radar than Ranger's sources suggested? No, I decided, I was done waiting and thinking 'what if?'. I was going to be proactive for a change.

"Yep, I'm sure," I said. "Do you think it would be possible to sit in on and interview with Hartung? Behind glass or something?"  
"What are you not telling me?" Carl asked. He knew me too well, he always suspected ulterior motives.

I sighed. "I got a voice mail today. The caller had a German accent, but I don't know who it was."  
"Are you okay?" Carl asked, concern in his voice.

"Wasn't that kind of message," I told him. "But I sort of want to know who it was."

"You mean if there are others out there we haven't found yet," Carl translated.

"That, too."

There was a pause where Carl was chewing it over. Probably trying to decide how much friend and how much cop he should be.

"Okay," he finally said. "Let me talk to her in the morning. She's usually in early and my shift starts at eight."

"I'm free all day. Whenever is good for her." Meaning, I'd make room between all my other items on the list for her whenever she had time.

"And you're just gonna sit tight until I call you?" Carl asked, reading my mind again. "You're not gonna go off looking for a killer on your own?"

I blew out some air. "I have stuff to do, but no, killer finding isn't among them."

"You at home?" Carl asked.

"Yes…"

"Need some protection?"

I laughed. "I have bodyguards in the parking lot."

"Need some company?" Carl tried again.

"Call me in the morning," I suggested and disconnected. Best not to give Carl any ideas.

It was too late to call anyone else, but still, I felt like I had a goal now. My apartment was almost back to normal, Rex was at home, and Bob was probably with Lester. Probably I should have called Ranger, but I didn't know how to have that conversation right now, so I decided to make it an early night instead of running out.

I went back to the window and waved down. The headlights on the SUV flashed twice. I turned off the lights, changed into my nightshirt and brushed my teeth.

When I fell onto my bed, I briefly wondered how long I'd lie awake thinking, but I don't remember any serious thoughts before I drifted off.

I woke up with a start, knowing some noise had disturbed me, but now knowing what it was. The mattress dipped beside me and I smiled. Ranger had come after all.

"Couldn't stay away from me, huh?" I teased turning and opening my eyes.

I gasped. It wasn't Ranger.

"Do you want me to stay away, Cupcake?" Joe asked.

He must have turned on the light because it was bright as day in my bedroom. For a second, just a moment, I was too overwhelmed to think that couldn't possibly be here and flung myself at him into his arms. His eyes brightened and he smiled widely as he spread his arms to catch me.

And then I crashed onto the floor, hard, and woke up. It was dark all around me and I was alone. Of course. Another dream.

I hugged my knees and began to rock, fighting the tears that once again threatened to fall.

Would this ever stop, I wondered? Just as I had jumped one hurdle, here was another and a nagging voice started telling me to just give up, give in, dig a hole and vegetate in it for the rest of my life.

Now I realized that I'd used the excuse of having to clean my apartment as my escape. I didn't really have to think about anything while I was shoving broken dishes into trash bags, I could procrastinate. And now one dream was proof positive that I could run, but I couldn't hide from my feelings. I'd just been able to push them back for a little bit.

It wasn't Joe, or rather the thought of him. I knew that I'd always miss him, and that I'd probably always love him, it wasn't that. Emotionally, I'd moved on. Ranger was the only man in my life.

It still hurt to remember Joe, but what was worse was the despair that the strange voice mail had brought back up, the fear that there were more, no matter how many were caught, there would always be more. But I was able to keep the tears back and straighten my shoulders. I was done crying! Enough already!!

I sat rocking on the floor, trying to make sense to it all. And suddenly I remembered what my third grade teacher had told me so long ago, that there was no shame in asking for help, it was _not_ a sign of weakness. Funny how that came back to me now.

I took a couple deep breaths, slowly walked over into the living room and grabbed my cell phone, hitting the speed dial button before I had it all the way open.

"Yo," Ranger's sleepy voice answered after only one ring.

As soon as I heard his voice, I knew I'd done the right thing. "Can…can you come over?" I asked, barely able to speak. "I...I would come to you...bu...but I don't have a car."

"Be right there," he just said and disconnected.

No 'what's wrong', no 'what happened', just a 'be right there'. And when the locks tumbled barely a minute later, relief washed over me again.

I don't know how he knew where to find me, I almost expected him to look for me in the bedroom first. I had no idea what time it was, but it must have been the middle of the night.

Instead, his strong arms enveloped me right where I was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. He lifted me up and sat down on the couch, placing me in his lap.

He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around me and kissed me lightly on the temple. I leaned into him, inhaling his scent, borrowing his warmth.

"You wanna talk about it?" he finally asked softly and I shook my head against his chest.

"Thanks for the doughnuts," I mumbled and his chest moved with a silent chuckle.

I felt better already. I just needed some emotional support, until I could think straight again. Then I would discuss my new plan with Ranger. Maybe.

TBC

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A/N: Steph wasn't as atrong as she thought she was, no big deal, right? Should she rely on Ranger again? Or should she continue to do this by herself, the way she used to? Do you want to see Wonder Woman Steph? 


	28. Chapter 28

Thank you so very much for all your feedback. I never know if something works the way I intended it until I hear back from you, so please don't stop!

Vielen lieben Dank to Stayce for being my sounding board, my editor, my shoulder to cry on, my friend!

Disclaimer: Still not my characters, but I promise to return them mostly unharmed. The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

No spoilers, but I have to issue a smut warning for this chapter

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 28

"What happened?" Ranger asked after a few minutes.

I snuggled even closer to him. "Bad dream," I explained.

Ranger leaned his head back and tipped my face up with his finger. I looked up to meet his gaze. He didn't have to say anything, the question was in his eyes.

"I feel better, really. I just needed some alone time," I said softly.

"Understood," he said, nodding slightly. "Wanna talk about the dream?"

I sat up and brought my leg around so I was straddling him. "It wasn't about the dream," I explained, waving my hand searching for the right words. "It's…it was…everything."

Ranger nodded again. "Can you narrow that down? What changed your mind about having company, for example?"

His cell phone buzzed on his belt and we both looked at it. He grabbed it, looked at the display, and pressed a button. Looking at the cell phone made me realize something. I had been too relieved to see him, but…

"How did you get here so fast?"

"I was in the parking lot," he said, clipping the phone back onto his belt.

"You were sleeping." I knew his 'I just woke up voice', and I'd heard it when I'd called him.

"And?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I glanced at the clock on the VCR. It was a quarter of two.

"You didn't leave," I said more to myself than to him.

"I left the apartment," he clarified. "You didn't specify how far gone you wanted me. I was in the car with the second shift."

"But I thought Hal and…" I gestured towards the front door. "You left them here to…"

I realized my insecurities from the evening before were coming to the surface again and made myself shut up. He didn't need to know I'd thought he'd left his men here while he'd gone back to work.

"Okay," Ranger said on an exhale, took me by the hips and lifted me off his lap as he was getting up. "We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk about it," I said defensively and crossed my arms over my chest.

Ranger turned on the table lamp. "I'm gonna make some coffee," he said as he left the living room.

I had a better idea. I really didn't want to talk, about anything. I needed to procrastinate.

"No coffee," I said, following him. "I had to throw it out."

He was standing in the kitchen, facing the coffee maker, now he turned his head, one eyebrow raised again.

"I don't want any anyway," I said, snaking my arms around him from behind. "I got a better idea."

The perfect idea, actually. A great way to get a long overdue happy, feel his warmth and avoid talking at the same time.

He covered my hands with his and I cuddled closer. "Why don't we go back to bed?" I suggested.

Ranger turned in my arms to face me. The corners of his mouth quirked up in an almost smile.

"Has this sort of avoidance ever worked with me?"

I splayed my hands on his chest and applied pressure. "That doesn't mean I can't keep trying," I whispered and stood up on the tips of my toes to kiss him.

His lips were soft and warm under mine and I liked my idea better and better. Suddenly I thought I hadn't had a Ranger-induced orgasm in way too long. I really deserved a little happy!

"How about we talk in the morning," I said, and my lips were so close to Ranger's mouth that they touched it when I spoke. "You know, afterwards."

I didn't wait for an answer; I just let my tongue dart out and outline his mouth before I ran it between his lips, seeking entrance.

Ranger's arms slid around me and he parted his lips with a soft groan. Our tongues met and the heat spread down to my core almost immediately.

I ran my hands up and around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His hands settled on my ass and squeezed it lightly while I stroked my tongue over his.

He pulled back a little, leaving his mouth about a quarter inch from mine, and I couldn't suppress a small whimper of disappointment. "This doesn't get you off the hook, you know," he said softly, squeezing my ass again.

"No," I smiled, unable to let the pun go, "hopefully on it though."

Ranger chuckled and claimed my mouth again, lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. I cupped his face in my hands and explored his mouth with my tongue, stroking, probing, sending involuntary shivers down my spine at the sensation, and I could feel Ranger harden against my core.

His grip on me tightened, and I felt him push against me as he started to move us, carrying me out of the kitchen without breaking the kiss. We came up for air in the hall, Ranger still holding on to me, and this time I was sure of the emotion I read in his eyes, pure passion. I pressed my legs around him more firmly, and a small smile played around his lips.

"I could get used to your way of procrastination," he said as he carried me into the bedroom.

He dropped me onto the bed and with the same movement, pulled my sleep shirt over my head; I was left wearing only a pair of Snoopy boycut panties. Ranger was leaning over me, his knee on the mattress, the other foot still down on the floor, letting his eyes wander over me.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked, tracing the fading bruise on my shoulder, then running his hand up, stopping short of touching my scalp.

I hadn't replaced the bandage on my head after my bath, but I still refused to look at my reflection in the mirror.

"Not right now," I admitted, pulling his belt free of its buckle.

He smiled and straightened, ridding himself of his t-shirt before settling down next to me.

"Bet I can kiss and make it better," he said, lowering his head to do just that.

I gasped when his warm tongue slid out to lave my skin and struggled to unzip his pants. I needed to feel him, all of him, and now.

His mouth moved towards my neck, and the heat radiated out from where his lips touched my skin, right down my spine, centering between my legs, ruining my shorts in an instant.

I ran my hands over the hard muscles on his back, his skin soft, his muscles rippling under my touch. When he cupped my breast in his hand, I arched into his touch, closing the small distance between our bodies completely.

Ranger ran his tongue over my jawbone towards my mouth, then he outlined my lips before he parted them and kissed me until my toes curled. I moaned into his mouth as his hand wandered between our bodies, under the waistband of my shorts, and then lower, stroking my curls. I could feel his length pressing against me through the fabric of his cargos as he settled himself between my legs, kissing his way up from my stomach to my mouth. He balanced himself on his forearms when he reached my breasts.

Taking my nipple into his mouth, he circled it with his tongue, before gently sucking on it, pulling on it, and the pain was so pleasurable, I moaned loudly. He continued his ministrations on my other nipple and slid his hands out from between us, ran both his hands up my arms until they met mine, then he bent them up to meet above my head. I ground my hips into his, rolling them, my message unmistakable.

"Not yet," he whispered against my skin, his breath cooling my wet nipple, making it pebble hard and I could feel him smile at my frustrated whimper.

He pressed both my hands down and lifted himself up slightly, waiting for me to open my eyes.

"We really do need to talk," he said softly, his voice raspy with lust.

"You…don't mean…now," I managed to say, breathing heavily, my eyes fluttering shut again. "Please Ranger," I almost sighed.

"Please what?" he asked, his breath tickling my neck. He kissed the spot just below my earlobe and send yet another shiver running down my back.

"I need you inside me," I breathed, my voice low and husky. "Now."

And suddenly I noticed what he was doing. I was pinned under him, he had my hands in an iron grip, I couldn't move unless he wanted me to. I was trapped.

My eyes flew open. He was smiling down, his face only a couple inches from mine. And he wasn't moving.

I cooled off instantly. This was the ultimate distraction, none of the outside world mattered anymore, I _needed_ this. And he was _teasing _me??

We were skin to skin, my hard nipples pressing into his chest; I could feel his heart beating, a lot slower than mine.

"I don't want to talk," I repeated, lifting my head to meet his lips, but he pulled back out of reach.

"Babe," he said, and the word had some finality in it.

I was incredulous. I knew of women using sex as a weapon, and frankly I'd just tried it myself, but I hadn't expected Ranger to use his control to withhold it from me.

I gasped, speechless. And then I narrowed my eyes at him, still unwilling to believe that it was what he was doing. He met my gaze, but didn't move a muscle.

"No talking," I pressed out, trying to free my hands from his grip. "Let me go."

"You know I want you," he said, touching his nose to mine. "But I can't be your distraction. I want you to tell me what's wrong and we can continue this, I'll even seduce you right back. But I'll need your full attention, not just the part that's in denial."

This was too much. Was he mocking me? I tried to pull my hands free, tried to wiggle my body out from under him, but it was useless.

I met his eyes. He was dead serious, no doubt about it. But there was more. He wasn't doing this out of spite, he wasn't trying to control me, he really meant it.

A defeated sigh escaped my mouth. "That's so low," I said.

"Tell me about the dream," he said, ignoring my accusation.

He shifted his weight, allowing him to lift one arm, and now he took one of his hands off my wrists and tucked a curl of hair behind my ear. "What about it made you call?"

Now I had two choices. I could continue to fight him, knowing fully well that Ranger would move before he would hurt me, or I could give in and tell him what had happened. Yes, I really_, really_ wanted that orgasm, but I also had my pride.

The trouble was Ranger was right. Again. He would be my distraction, my means to an end, I would be using him. And he knew it. Had our roles been reversed, I probably would have reacted the same way.

I sighed again and Ranger sensed my defeat, loosening his grip on me. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.

"It was Joe," I confessed. "He was here."

I could feel Ranger stiffen, just slightly, but I didn't know if it was the mention of Joe. He let go of my hands and I slung them around his neck.

I shook my head, trying to clear it, trying to get it out right. "No, it wasn't Joe."

Ranger raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. I smiled, rolling my eyes at myself. "I had a dream about Joe," I started again. "And it somehow made me realize I'd been trying to hide all day, throwing myself into the cleanup, denying anything was really wrong."

I didn't know if I was making sense, but I wanted to get it out before I lost my courage.

"I sent you away," I said, sliding my hands down his shoulders. "Because I didn't want you to see me so weak, so…helpless." That came out wrong, I realized at once. "No, not helpless. God knows you've had to help me often enough when I _was_."

"Babe," Ranger started but I covered his mouth with my hand.

"So…defeated," I finally brought out.

Ranger bit one of my fingers lightly and stroked it with his tongue. "You're never helpless," he corrected.

I smiled, knowing he meant it, and it made me feel stronger. "Then I had the dream," I continued. "And it made me realize I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Made me realize I needed help."

There was…pride was the only word I could come up with for a second, in his eyes, then he closed them as he bent down and kissed me. The kiss was passionate, but not forceful, soft, reassuring.

"You are strong," he whispered against my mouth. "The strongest woman I know."

"You should've seen me when I…"  
Now Ranger put his finger on _my_ mouth. "Shhhh. Anyone who's been through what you went through today alone is allowed a breakdown," he clarified.

"You really think so?" I already knew he wouldn't have said it if he didn't think so, but I needed reassurance.

He nodded almost imperceptibly, the moonlight illuminating his features, making him appear both soft and strong. "I do."

"It takes guts to ask for help," he added after a moment.

And then he kissed me again and this time, his hands didn't stay still. He still had me trapped under him, but I no longer wanted to move away. Ranger's hand slid down my neck, massaging down my arm, stroking my hip, caressing my stomach.

He'd been right, with the confession behind me, I could actually enjoy myself, could enjoy Ranger and what his touch did to me. I tightened my arms around his neck and sighed into his mouth when his hand slid down my mound and he dipped one finger inside, making me gasp.

He crushed his lips to mine again, his tongue pressing through my lips, meeting mine with such force that what felt like lighting shot through me, pooling in my belly as a ball of heat.

A second finger followed and I could feel my body hum, but I needed more, so much more.

I shifted a little under him and cupped his buttocks, kneading them, and then I ran my fingernails up his lower back.

"Babe," Ranger growled and he pulled back to rid himself of his pants and then I finally felt his hard length at my entrance.

"Now," I said softly, not a question, a statement. "No more talking."

It was all the encouragement Ranger needed. He slid into me quickly and unexpectedly, and I cried out loud in surprised ecstasy.

He stilled immediately. "You okay?" he asked, his voice next to my ear.

I didn't trust my voice, so I replied to him by grinding my hips up against him and nodding slowly.

He moved then, just a short thrust, and I was on fire, so close, I could feel the waves building. I wrapped my legs around him again and squeezed him as I arched my back, taking all of him in.

"That's it Babe. Let go," he whispered as he began thrusting in and out in an agonizingly slow rhythm. "Let it all out."

And the next thrust pushed me over the edge. I threw my arms around his neck, squeezed him tighter with my legs and cried his name as I came hard.

He pulled back and waited for a short moment, but not nearly long enough to let me ride out this first orgasm. He crushed my lips under his, at the same time he was thrusting into me so deep it almost hurt, but the pleasure was even more painful, and yet I needed more. I lifted my hips to meet his next thrust, to take him deeper as if that was possible.

He pulled his mouth free and threw his head back, uttering words I couldn't understand, and didn't have to understand to get their meaning: Ranger was trying hard to hold back.

He stopped moving then, but I didn't want him to, I needed him to lose control. I bucked my hips and he almost growled, then I pulled his head back down and captured his lips, thrusting my tongue between this teeth the way I wanted him to thrust into me, our tongues were mimicking the same rhythm and I could already feel the tension building inside of me again.

He gave up then, I could feel him allowing himself to lose control, to give in, plunging into me with a groan, and I sank my teeth into his shoulder, trying to keep the scream in.

I was panting now, all coherent thoughts disappearing quickly as the pleasure continued. My nails raked down his back and it seemed to turn him on even more. His hand slipped between us, brushing my clit, pulling, teasing like he'd done to my breast earlier, my body clamped down around him again, leaving me breathless.

But this time, I took him with me as he pounded into me one last time and came hard, both of us screaming the other's name. Time seemed to stand still, I felt like I was floating, and I clung to Ranger like a life preserver, feeling him empty himself into me.

We lay like that for what seemed like forever. Ranger balanced his weight on his elbows to give me room to breathe, but didn't move any further than that until our breathing returned to normal. Then he bent his head, kissing me softly on the forehead, down my nose and on my lips.

I opened my eyes and met his, his gaze full of emotion, unchecked for once.

"I love you," I whispered, running my fingers through his hair.

His response was a slow, tender, passionate kiss, his thumb stroking my jaw bone.

After a few minutes, he rolled off of me, but pulled me with him so I came to lay half on top of him, spent and boneless.

I curled up against him and his hand came up to cup my shoulder, then down my arm and up to my breast. My breath caught when he swirled his thumb over my nipple, just long enough to stand up proud again and reignite the fire that hadn't yet gone out. His hand swept down my body then, over my stomach, caressing my hips, cupping my ass, before resting on my inner thigh.

I knew this wasn't just idle petting either. Ranger's stamina was amazing. He needed a minute for a breather, then it was time for more. And I wasn't complaining. My breath came out ragged and I rubbed against Ranger without thinking about it, like an instinct. His response was a soft growl and he half turned, rolling me back onto my back, and placed open-mouthed kisses down my neck, over my collarbone, and on the valley between my breasts. I fisted my hands in his silky hair, pressing him to me.

Now that my initial urge was fulfilled, I could enjoy what Ranger enjoyed so much, taking his time. His hand crept up to rest on my pubic bone, applying gentle pressure, while his mouth captured my nipple, pulling on it, grazing his teeth lightly over it. He switched over to my other nipple at the same time he dipped a finger between my folds and I moaned, losing my patience just like that.

I could feel Ranger smile against my skin as a whimper escaped me when he removed his finger and slid his knee between my legs, positioning himself over me. Using his momentary imbalance, I wrapped my arms around his neck and rolled us over, coming to lie on top of him.

"My turn," I whispered as I spread my legs and straddled him, splaying my hands on his chest, running my tongue from his ear, over his cheek, down to his mouth.

Ranger ran his hands up my arms, grabbing my shoulders, taking control of the kiss. I was already having a hard time controlling my breathing when I let my mouth pull away from his and ran my tongue down his throat then laved his Adam's apple. When I got to his nipples, I took both his hands in mine and bent them upwards, mimicking the way he'd held me captive not long ago.

I felt him chuckle under me as I let go of his hands and slowly worked my way down his body, kissing him, licking him, until I reached my destination. He fisted one hand in my hair, careful to leave the injured side untouched, and sucked in some air when I continued placing soft kisses around the base of his hardening shaft.

I slid my hands down his hard stomach, circled the base with them, and then took his cock into my mouth as deep it would go. My reward was a low growl that sounded more animal than man. I moaned in response and the vibration sent a shiver through Ranger.

"Babe," he managed, sounding much less in control than before.

I ran my tongue up the whole length before taking it into my mouth again, sucking lightly, massaging his balls with my hands.

Ranger moaned low in his throat as I came up and kissed the slit on top before I slowly ran my tongue over it. I could feel his hand tighten against my scalp and decided he'd been tortured enough.

Circling the tip one, twice, three times, before I took him as deep as possible, tightening my fingers around the base. He shivered under me, muttering in Spanish now, and I quickened the pace, using my tongue, my teeth and my fingers to slowly push him over the edge while I was straddling his thigh, pushing my hips against him in the same rhythm my mouth was giving him.

He ran his hand down to my shoulder, trying to pull me up, but I wouldn't have it. I took him deep one last time, sucked harder, ran my fingernails down his inner thigh, and Ranger exploded with a growl, spilling himself into me, and I milked him dry.

I was counting on his fast recovery as I placed a trail of kisses up his body to rest against his shoulder. His eyes were closed, his face was totally relaxed, and he pulled me up and held me to him while his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Babe," he said again, his voice raspy, amazing me once more with the many meaning he could express with that single syllable.

I closed my eyes and snuggled into him, as if I was the one recovering from the orgasm.

Although I was planning to rest for just a couple minutes, I drifted off, feeling warm and safe. I didn't wake up until Ranger's watch started beeping on my shoulder, and from the barely-dawn light that was filtering through the windows, I guessed it was around six AM.

Ranger was pretty much buried under me; we were chest to chest, one of my legs spread over his. He reached over to kill the alarm and squeezed me to him.

"Morning," I murmured sleepily, burying my face in his shoulder.

He pulled my hair back from my face and ran his finger over my ear. "I have to go," he said on a big exhale.

I snuggled into him, I didn't want him to go, even though I knew he probably had a good reason, like the safety of a small third world country.

"Five more minutes," I bargained. "Give the sun a chance to get up."

Ranger chuckled and I enjoyed the vibration under me. "Or you know…" I ran my fingertips down his stomach, scraping my fingernails over his morning wood, "give _us_ a chance to wake up."

He took my wrist, gently. "Or just stay here all day?"

"Not a bad idea," I smiled, lifting my head to look at him.

"Mmmhmm," he agreed. "But no can do. I got a meeting in an hour."

He moved under me, trying to roll me off of him, but I held on. "An hour is a looong time away…"

I just wasn't ready to face the real world again, and Ranger leaving would force me to. "Stay."

Ranger kissed my forehead and lifted me up, ignoring the protesting noises I made. He rolled over and got up, finding his cargos on the floor and pulling them on.

I watched his muscles flex with every movement and knew exactly how I wanted to spend my day. With a possible interruption for breakfast and a shower, I wanted to stay in bed with Ranger all day. There had to be a way to convince him!

I turned onto my stomach and propped my head up on my hand. "Please Ranger?"

He finished buttoning his pants and looked up. "This is a big client," he said. "I really have to be there."

Not really sure what came over me at this point. "I need you." I was using the big guns now, my lower lip may have even stuck out. "Stay with me."

Ranger fished his t-shirt out of the pile of clothes on the floor and put it on. He found his cell phone on the nightstand and clipped it onto his belt before he sat down next to me. "I can't."

A few hours ago, he'd been there for me when I needed him, and then he'd given me a couple of doomsday orgasms I wouldn't forget anytime soon. But was that enough for me? Oh no. I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me now, even though I knew it was extremely selfish.

"You can't or you won't?" I challenged, my mouth somehow disconnected from the part of my brain that still held rational thoughts.

Ranger looked at me, his eyes searching mine. "I have to go," he said after a long moment and turned towards the door.

I recognized the tone. It was the 'I can't deal with this right now' tone, and warning lights should have gone off in my head, but they didn't. I'd probably killed those along with any sense I'd had left when I threw common sense out the window. I remember this part because I was watching it unfold like an out-of-body experience.

"You're gonna leave me again?"

"Junior and Hal are in the parking lot," he said tonelessly without turning around.

Talking about it now, with some distance, I would label it Nervous Breakdown, Part 2. Then, of course, I didn't think about it in such terms.

I grabbed the first thing I could get a hold of, it happened to be my clock radio, and threw it at Ranger as hard as I could. It missed his head by about a mile, smashing against the door. Ranger didn't flinch.

"That's what you can do with Hal and Junior in the parking lot," I added for good measure. "I don't want them. I want _you_. I don't need babysitters, I need my boyfriend!"

He finally turned then and took a step back towards the bed, but I couldn't watch him any longer, I hugged my knees to me and buried my face in the hollow between my chest and my knees.

"Stephanie," he said, serious, semi-pissed.

The mattress dipped as he sat down. "Look at me."

I shook my head without lifting it up, which was the best I could do short of yelling something. "Just go. Leave me. Again."

"Stephanie," he said again, touching my head.

It was never a good sign when he said my whole name, not just 'Steph' or the good natured 'Babe'. This time, it meant he was getting irritated. Running out of time and having to deal with me, was my guess. I was testing his incredible patience skills.

"I want you to see somebody," he said, resting his hand on my knee.

Now I did look up. "Like who?"  
He almost-shrugged. "I don't know, maybe that woman Stayce or…"  
"A shrink??" I cut him off. "You think I need to see a shrink?"

I jerked out of his reach and jumped off the bed. "I think you have that backwards," I said, taking deep breaths to keep my anger under control. "I'm not the one with the issues here. Do you see me up and leave instead of spending alone time with you?"

Fair and sane had left the building together at that point. I heard what I was saying, but I wasn't making sense even to myself.

"You, what, spend a few hours to get what you need and then off to bigger and better things?" I stared at him, challenging him, my hands on my hips and my chin high.

Ranger's eyes widened slightly and he shook his head almost imperceptibly. "Yes," he said, ignoring my accusations, and, it could have been my imagination, but he seemed to be struggling to keep calm himself. "I think it's a good idea to talk to someone who understands these things."

He got up and quickly closed the distance between us, stopping mere inches in front of me. "I think you need to tell someone what's really bothering you, and if you can't tell me…" He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm fine!" I exclaimed, shoving him away. "And I don't need a shrink to tell me that!"

He grabbed my wrists before I could pull them away from his chest. "Listen to me! You're _not_ fine. The last couple weeks were a nightmare, I get that. But you can't go on like this!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied and pulled my hands free. "You're running late. Go."

Ranger let his hands drop and took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine. I resisted the urge to squirm under his intense stare. "Either you go see someone…"  
"Or??" I cut him off, glaring at him, daring him to finish his ultimatum. So he did.

"Or I'll make you," he said softly, his tone final.

I crossed my arms over my chest in a protective gesture and shrunk back against the wall. He couldn't possibly be saying what I thought he was. I saw a muscle work in his jaw, other that that, he wasn't moving, not even blinking.

"I think you should _really_ leave now," I finally brought out.

Our eyes held a minute longer, neither of us moving. "You have until noon," he said and turned to leave. He stopped just before he reached the door.

"I want you to get help because I love you," he said, his voice soft again.

"Go to hell!" I cried and grabbed for a discarded shoe that was lying on the floor.

He was gone before I could get a hold of it; I heard the front door fall close seconds later. My blood was rushing in my ears and my heart was beating so fast, I thought I was going to pass out. I shivered, suddenly feeling the cold. I hadn't given a thought to putting on any clothes, I'd been naked through all of it. In hindsight, a sure sign I hadn't been the one driving, I _never_ had fights naked, I was too self-conscious to strut around naked.

My only thought was that this hadn't happened, I had to be dreaming. I didn't just throw Ranger out for the second time in 24 hours and he didn't just threaten to have me committed. It just couldn't be true. I was going to wake up any second now.

I pinched my arm and cried out when I felt the pain, but I didn't wake up curled up beside Ranger.

That numb feeling came over me again and I slid down the wall weakly, my bones refusing to carry me.

"No," I whispered. Over and over again, denying any of this had happened.

"No."

TBC

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A/N: Well, now she's done it. Not even Ranger would return after THAT, would he? And what about his threat? Would he really? Stephanie really needs some good advice right about now, let her know how you feel! 


	29. Chapter 29

Tracy asked me to post this fast, so I did. I hope you like :)

Thank you so much for your reviews, if you have anything to say, good or bad, share it with me. If there's something you don't like, I need to know. And if there's something you really liked, I _have_ to know!

Stayce all but wrote this chapter, you don't want to know what it would look like without her help! Thank you!!

Disclaimer: Still all JE's characters, but I promise to return them mostly unharmed. The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 29

The room gradually got brighter with the early morning sun, but I didn't really notice. I don't know how long I was sitting there, against the wall, not crying, not…anything. Finally I had to admit that it had really happened.

I couldn't believe what I'd said, as if it had been another person in my body. Why would I push Ranger away like that? And what about those accusations, none of which I actually believed?

"Leave me…again?" I recited, shaking my head.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the son of a bitch threatened to have me committed!! Who the hell does he think he is? Like, hello? No bad day could top this one. I know I've said that before, but I've never gone from deliriously happy to so incredibly miserable in the space of a couple hours.

"Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie," I murmured slowly. "Now you've gone and fucked up royally."

It took all my strength, but finally I convinced myself that sitting there and moping wouldn't fix anything, so I slowly stood up and took a couple deep breaths. The room started spinning my stomach was doing somersaults, and for a couple minutes I thought I was going to throw up. Yeah, because that would really put the cherry on top. But then it settled down to a severe dizziness and I could breathe normally.

That vacation I'd been thinking about a couple weeks ago started sounding really good. But I knew that would just be another form of denying reality.

Damage control, that's what I needed to do. And what better way than to show Ranger I was in fact fine, better than fine, large and in charge? I had a to-do list to get to. That's what sane people do, they realize what needs to be done and then do it, right? Hah!

Now I had a plan. I took a fast shower, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, pulled my hair back in a pony tail and applied three coats of mascara, all without even glancing at my hair.

I didn't want to see it, I was in total denial about the bald spot I'd felt during shampooing.

'Keep moving,' I told myself, 'Just don't stop to think.'

There was no doubt in my mind my personal bodyguards were still in the parking lot. Probably Ranger had filled them in on his deadline. So I had to alter my plan from the previous night. I wasn't going to fill them in; it wasn't okay for them to know where I was.

I was going to protect myself this time, and I was going to stay safe. And I wasn't going to do it alone. Just without the Merry Men. There were plenty of people I knew who'd help me without trying to get me to the loony bin.

Ranger had been right, of course, I _wasn't_ okay. Hell, I'd acted like a lunatic earlier! But a shrink wasn't the answer; I didn't need to talk about it. I needed to act.

I went into the kitchen to get coffee started. But I'd thrown the coffee out along with all the other food some asshole had strewn all over my kitchen floor, so I was left staring at the empty canister. No big, I figured, grabbing my shoulder bag, today called for a doughnut anyway. And I could get both at the bakery a block away. Probably my nausea and dizziness were just hunger pangs anyway, I hadn't eaten in forever.

The day seemed warm enough to go without a jacket, but I grabbed a hoodie so I could cover my head, made sure I took my replacement gun out of the cookie jar, loaded it, and dropped it into my bag before I left. I even locked the fucking door.

There was no Merry Man in the hallway, which was a blessing because it would mean my neighbors would stop wondering what kind of trouble I was in. I took the elevator downstairs; there was no representative from RangeMan in the lobby either.

I stood there for a moment, trying to decide whether I should tell them I was leaving. Nah! I was going to be back in no time and I had the tracker in my purse, I was almost sure, so it wasn't such a big deal.

And it did make more sense to leave my building through the front door since I was walking and the bakery was just a couple blocks across the street. So I pushed through the double doors, took a deep breath of the crisp morning air, hitched my bag up on my shoulder and took off.

Sometimes I'm a genuis. It was the best idea I'd had in a long time. As soon as I opened the door, the scent of goodies baking in the oven enveloped me and I inhaled deeply. Was there anything a doughnut couldn't fix?

I ordered a dozen assorted and a large coffee and took my purchases with me to the counter across from the cash register. There were a few guys who looked like construction workers, a cop and a nurse in uniform, but towards the end of the room, I spotted a small empty table and sat down with my back to the wall, smiling at the irony. For the next half hour, I did nothing but eat and drink, savoring my doughnuts, sipping my coffee, my mind on pause. It felt like a day at the spa. When I was done, I balled up my trash and threw it in the big can by the exit.

I wasn't really surprised to find Junior leaning against the shop window, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Good breakfast?" he asked neutrally.

"The best," I replied, refusing to feel guilty over taking a walk.

"Could've brought us some," he said on a smile and pushed himself off the window.

Now I did feel guilty, but for different reasons. "I'm sorry," I said and meant it, turning to step back into the bakery.

Junior chuckled and held me back by my shoulder. "I was kidding. We had breakfast before we started the shift."

I just nodded. If my mother knew about this she'd be wondering if I really was her daughter. Where were my manners? Whether they'd eaten or not, I should've gotten them some coffee. Oh well. I'd think about that later, I decided, and fell into step with Junior, heading back to my apartment building.

He held the door open for me and I paused. "Junior?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Did Ranger…what exactly is your assignment today?"  
Junior looked confused. "We're on Steph duty," he finally said.

"Yes, but what does that entail?" I prodded. "Do you follow me wherever I go or do you…" I made a vague motion with my hand, encouraging him to finish that sentence.

He didn't flinch. "We're on Steph duty," he just repeated and I could see his version of Ranger's blank face slide over his features.

His response gave my imagination free rein. Did that mean they would just watch me? Did that mean they'd pressure me for a decision at noon? How many instructions had Ranger left for them? How far were they allowed to go?

For all I knew they could have orders to cart me off to the asylum! Although I really couldn't imagine that. He wouldn't. Would he? At the very least, he'd show up to cart me off himself, right?

The seconds ticked away and Junior didn't add to his statement. Fine.

I sighed as I rolled my eyes and brushed past him into the lobby. Just to have something to do, I went over to the bank of mailboxes to get my mail before I called the elevator.

Junior waited while I got on, but he didn't follow me. I thought it was childish to be blaming him, so I smiled and sent him a finger wave before the doors closed and he seemed relieved, nodding in response.

Hal was waiting outside my apartment door when I got out of the elevator. I rolled my eyes, reminding myself he was just following orders. Ranger was really overdoing this protection shtick.

"All clear, Steph," he said, pushing my door open for me.

"I'm sure I locked that door," I said, raising my eyebrows at him and he had the decency to look sheepish.

"It's okay," I mumbled when he looked like he was going to apologize. "Just doing your job."

That's all I could manage before I walked into my apartment and closed the door behind me. I knew the Merry Men liked me and all, and I liked them, but they had to be feeling stupid protecting somebody who didn't want to be protected. And I felt bad knowing that what I was about to do would get them into trouble, but Ranger left me little choice. He was smothering me, and since I couldn't make him see that, couldn't say it to his face, I had to find other ways. Right?

I turned my shoulder bag upside down and the contents crashed onto the floor. I knew what I was looking for. There was the lipstick with the tracker inside, there was the old-fashioned tiny bug in case someone searched me and would only look for the obvious, and there was the tiny transmitter sewn into the lining.

I removed them all, leaving a hole in the stitching I'd have to mend later, but that was necessary. Then I put everything I needed back into my bag and called Carl.

"Any news?" I asked as soon as he'd picked up.

"Good morning to you, too," he replied around a mouthful of food.

"Nothing good about it," I admitted. "You hear anything?"  
"What's wrong?" Carl immediately asked.

Mental head slap. I had no intention of sharing my morning's experience with him, so I should have kept my mouth shut.

"I'm…uh…just anxious is all," I lied. "I want to get this over with, you know?"

"Hmm," as if he was thinking about digging deeper. "Well, good news, I spoke to Riley and she wants to talk to you."

I bit my lip, wondering if I still wanted to go that route. It had seemed like a good idea last night and even a few minutes ago, but now I wasn't so sure about meeting the detective. Oh well, I couldn't hide forever, right?

"That's good news." I hoped. When does she want to meet?" Realizing I had no idea what time it was, I walked into the kitchen to check. Almost eleven.

"She's free for lunch, around 12:30."

"Lunch?" I swallowed. "She doesn't want to meet me at the station?"

Carl chuckled. "She thinks you'll be more comfortable at Pino's. Go figure."

"Yeah, go figure." I smiled. "She wouldn't have gotten a tip on that, would she?"

I could feel Carl smile on the other end. "Okay,_ I_ figured you'd be more comfortable there than at the station, her office is…well, it's nicer at Pino's."

I had an idea that what he didn't say was that Detective Riley's office was Morelli's old office. It was just a feeling. "I agree with both of you then," I said. I had no desire to find out if that was really the reason for the relocation, so I didn't ask more questions.

"Tell her I'll be there."

I'd planned to ask Carl for a ride, but changed my mind about that before we disconnected. Carl was most likely at work and would pick me up in a blue-and-white. And while I was in no mood right now to call my mom just to chat, I really didn't want to talk to her because she'd heard rumors about me getting arrested.

I had some time before I had to be at Pino's, I could easily get more things done. There was talking to Vinnie, for one, and I really had to catch up with Lula and Connie. Yep, the bonds office was a logical next step. See how sane I'm thinking, Ranger? Nothing wrong with me.

"Pardon me? Who is this? I don't think I know you," Lula said when I called her. "The Stephanie_ I_ know keeps in touch with her friends and shows her face around the office."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry, Lula, it's been kinda crazy."

"So I hear," she confirmed. "But I don't like hearing it second hand, if you know what I mean. Where have you been?"

I gave Lula a rough breakdown of the last few days. Tank had most likely filled her in on everything, but I knew I'd sort of neglected her.

"And now my car is at RangeMan and I need a ride," I finished. "I was hoping you could pick me up."

"Uh oh," Lula exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

Probably I hadn't pulled off the careless tone as well as I'd thought. "Nothing's wrong, I just don't' have a car," I tried.

"Aren't there at least two muscle men in your parking lot at your service, waiting to chauffeur your skinny white ass around?"

Damn. I hesitated, trying to come up with a good excuse, or at least an acceptable one.

Lula gasped before I had found one. "You running out on them again??"

"No, of course not!" I rushed to say. But wasn't that exactly what I was planning? "They'll know where I am because I have the tracker on me."

I crossed my fingers, grateful Lula couldn't see my face blush. It felt wrong to lie to her, but I couldn't go through all the reasons why I had to slip away right now. I couldn't even explain it to myself, how could I make Lula understand?

"Then why don't you ride with them?" Lula asked, and she had a point. Double damn. I sighed.

"Yes, I'm sort of trying to avoid them," I admitted on a sigh. "Are you gonna help me or not?"

I could imagine Lula's face while she was chewing this over. It was a big deal, I was basically asking her to go behind Tank's back. Maybe Lula hadn't been the right choice; it was really a lot to ask.

"Could this get me sent to a third world country by Batman?" she asked after a few moments.

No, only to the padded cell next to me, I thought bitterly. "I'm trying to avoid him, too," I admitted.

"Girl, you're asking an awful lot here. You're not planning on leaving Trenton or anything, are you?"  
Not such a bad idea, actually. Had I taken that vacation when I'd planned to, I'd have a respectable tan and a lot less worries right about now.

I sighed again. "No, although I wish I could. I just need to take care of a few things and I'd rather do it without babysitters."

"Bodyguards," Lula corrected. This wasn't Tank talking; it was Lula's respect for all the well-built Merry Men.

"Whatever. Can you pick me up?" I was sort of in a hurry here, because if she said no, I'd have to find another partner in crime.

"Keep your panties on. Of course I'm gonna pick you up. Sheesh. Now?"  
"Now would be good. I need to talk to Vinnie."

"I haven't seen him yet. Want me to ask Connie when he'll be in?"

"No, it's okay," I said. "I can talk to Connie instead."

A short pause. "We doin' the drive-by thing again?"

"Yes," I said on a sigh. "I'll wait for you outside."

I disconnected before I could lose my nerve. It was the only option, I kept telling myself. The Rangemen would be no problem at the bonds office, but how would I get to talk to Detective Riley or Harry the Hammer with them in tow? It had to be done this way.

I fed Rex a few hamster nuggets and refilled his water dish. "This is either the best idea I've ever had or the worst," I told him.

He crawled out of his soup can and over to his food dish, took a sniff and looked at me accusingly. I shrugged.

"I'll get you something fresh later, I promise."

He wasn't buying it. With a last look at me, he sulked back into his soup can. I couldn't blame him, I hadn't sounded very convincing.

I slapped on a ball cap to hide my hair (or lack thereof) and put on another coat of mascara for courage, and then I snuck out into the hall and took the stairs down.

Before I could rethink my plan, I hustled through the lobby took a quick look around. "Now or never," I pep-talked myself and slid through the front doors.

I kept looking over my shoulder, expecting Hal or Junior to come barging through the door behind me while I willed Lula's Firebird to appear.

As usual, I heard her before I saw her, the heavy bass from her car stereo thumping to announce her arrival, and I breathed a sigh of relief. She'd barely come to a stop when I wrenched the passenger door open and slid inside. I didn't need to tell her to go; she took off with screeching tires.

"Why do I always feel like I'm driving the getaway car when I'm picking you up?" she asked while I turned down the volume on the stereo.

"It's not like that," I told her. It was exactly like that.

Lula just raised her eyebrows and sent me an incredulous look, and I threw up my hands, giving up. "I know what I'm doing," I said, but I didn't know who I was trying to convince more.

Before I got out of Lula's car at the bonds office, I took a thorough look around, searching for any RangeMan vehicles. I was looking for any black cars at this point, but there were none that I could see parked along this block of Hamilton. So far, so good.

"Look who's here," Connie said by way of greeting when we stepped into the office. "I almost forgot what you looked like."

I fished the FTAs I'd been carrying around for a week now out of my bag and handed them to her. "I'm sorry I haven't been around. And there's just no way I can do these now."

She took the files from me with a look that demanded an explanation. "Oh?"

I plopped down on the faux leather couch and leaned back. "I need to sort a few things out before I can go chasing skips again."

"No shit," Lula agreed and sat down next to me.

"The guy who broke into my apartment and tried to kidnap me later might make a deal with the cops."

"How's that your problem?" Connie asked. "They always offer those deals to the worst of them, there's no justice."

This from the woman whose relatives had gotten out on deals since before time.

"His end of the deal may be telling them I killed Harry's associate."

"Oh," Lula and Connie said in unison.

"Yeah," I agreed. "And someone wrecked my apartment yesterday."

"That happens to you a lot though," Lula said. I wanted to object, but she had a point.

"Well, I'm not accused of murder a lot," I said instead.

"So what are you gonna do?" Connie asked.

"I'm meeting with the PC on the case for lunch." I looked at Lula. "If I can borrow your car for an hour?"

"Why isn't Ranger driving you?" Connie asked innocently.

"Ranger's busy," I lied and Lula sucked in some air next to me.

Connie looked from me to Lula and like she didn't believe a word of it but was curious to see where I was going with it.

I jumped up, but regretted it immediately when the room started spinning and I fell back onto the couch. "It's complicated."

"I'll bet," Connie agreed.

"Look, I can't give you all the details right now," I said. "But I know what I'm doing. And I have to do it without Ranger or his men."

"Like that time when you took off to Atlantic City?" Connie wanted to know.

I regretted coming to the office. "No, not like that time."

I leaned back and closed my eyes, but I could feel the looks Lula and Connie were exchanging. There was nothing I could do about them at the moment.

"If Ranger calls, have I seen you?" Connie asked.

"Of course," I replied. There were enough lies around already. "_If_ he asks. You don't have to volunteer any information as far as I'm concerned"

She nodded her understanding. "Why would the cops believe some crook who tried to kidnap you?"

I sighed and gave her the whole background story with all the gory details after all. It actually felt good to talk about it, I discovered. I had a feeling Lula had shared what she knew with Connie, but neither of them knew the exact details since Tank had probably only shared the absolute minimum.

"You don't have to borrow Lula's car," Connie said after I was done. "We have a Civic sitting out back that Vinnie accepted as payment." She pulled open her desk drawer and fished out the keys.

"Thank you," I said as I slowly stood up. "I'll return it right after."  
Connie waved it off. "Anytime. Just try to get it sorted out, we need you here. You're lucky Vinnie's not here; he'd give you the old spiel about losing the business."

I nodded, I was glad Vinnie wasn't there too. I already knew I was behind on my FTAs, if it wasn't for the RangeMan paycheck, I'd gotten evicted a week ago.

I thanked them both and promised to call before I left the office through the back door. No Merry Man in sight. Thank God for small favors.

It was a quarter past twelve when I got to Pino's and I had to park way in the back of the parking lot because it was so busy. On the way over, I'd kept checking for a tail, but it looked like I'd gotten away with it. My cell phone hadn't rung yet either, so there was a chance my disappearance hadn't even been noticed. Yet.

I recognized a few people inside, all cops, and I made sure to greet them all and appear normal, smiling and shaking hands. Carl wasn't among the lunch crowd, and I didn't know if he'd come with Detective Riley or leave us to ourselves. I kind of wanted him here for this.

Most of the lunchers were occupying the front room, so I found an empty table in the back room and waited.

I recognized Heather Riley immediately, although I'd never met her before. She was a middle-aged, average built woman, with light brown hair and hazel eyes, and she looked tired and stressed, like every detective I'd ever known. She was wearing a no-nonsense grey pantsuit on her slightly pudgy frame.

And from the moment she approached me, I had a good feeling. A feeling that I was not going to leave Pino's in handcuffs.

She came right towards me; obviously she'd recognized me, too. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she opened, offering her hand to shake. "I've heard a lot about you since I joined the department."

I grimaced. "Don't believe half of it."

She laughed at that and took a seat. We gave the waitress our order and Detective Riley took out a steno pad and pen and got right to it.

"What was your relationship with Mario Guzzarella?" she started.

Oh boy. Here we go, I thought and took a deep breath. I'd promised myself to answer her questions truthfully and I tried to, whenever possible.

She nodded and made notes, and I didn't get the impression that she believed I was the killer. Then again, for all I knew I could have been looking at her cop face.

"Am I a suspect?" I finally asked when she was done with her questions.

She took a sip from her Coke. "I'd say up until today, you were a person of interest," she said. "But having met you, I can take you off that list as well. You don't meet the profile."

I blew out some air and relaxed. Heather smiled. "Although there is still the question of how your gun ended up at the murder scene, I don't believe you put it there."

Her honesty was refreshing. She could have just as soon stone-walled me; given me some crap about ongoing investigations.

"Thank you," I said and really meant it. "I was kind of nervous."

She laughed. "I got that feeling from Officer Gazarra's request."

"Do you have any suspects?" I asked her.

And this time she did stone-wall me. "I can't talk about the ongoing investigation," she said and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "But no arrests have been made."

"Then can you tell me if Hartung and DalBo will stay in jail?"

She avoided my glance by finishing up her lunch. "That's up to a judge."

We both knew that wasn't an answer, but I was going to let it go. What else could she tell me? I'd have to call Eddie or Carl to get more details.

"Are you gonna tell me to not leave the state?" I asked her when we'd paid.

She laughed again. "Make sure you leave your cell phone on, that's all. I may need to talk to you at some point."

Phew. I was officially off the hook. We got up and I thanked her for her time. It was done. I felt like putting a 'Mission Accomplished' stamp on my mental to-do list somewhere. Fuckin'-A. Although some part of me had never really believed I would be arrested, it was a relief to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

I waved at the cops I knew on my way out, although the crowd had considerably thinned. Between the doughnuts and the pizza, my stomach had calmed down and I felt sort of okay.

That was, until I opened Pino's front door, because at that moment, my stomach dropped about ten inches.

The front parking lot had cleared enough for me to see Ranger, leaning against his Cayenne parked at the curb, dressed in his usual black, half his face hidden behind black sunglasses. I didn't need to see his eyes to see that he was pissed, anger was sort of radiating off his body.

Shit!

I glanced over my shoulder back into the restaurant to see if there was anyone I could ask to walk me out. Maybe with company, Ranger would just follow me home. Fat chance, but the only one I could think of. But there was no one I could've asked comfortably, I didn't even know more than a couple by name.

I turned around slowly, trying to calm myself with deep breaths. And the earth hadn't opened to swallow me, Ranger was still right there; I could feel his intense stare. I had a feeling all the slipper tapping in the world wouldn't get me out of this.

Holding on to the hand rail, I took the few steps down onto the parking lot. Ranger didn't move. He was about 20 feet from me now, and I had a choice. I could walk towards him, 'What's up' like, or I could turn the corner and walk towards my car.

I had just about decided to try and walk away when Ranger pushed himself off the car and walked towards me. A documentary I'd once watched where a panther had stalked its prey came to mind. He was just one man, yet I felt he had all my escape routes covered. That was ridiculous, of course, but I couldn't help feeling it.

I hadn't even noticed that I was walking towards him as well, sucked in by his force field like in a science fiction movie. He stopped a few feet in front of me. A muscle was working in his jaw, underscoring the anger I could still feel coming from him.

"Get in the car," he said tonelessly. It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order.

"No," I said, afraid my voice would give me away if I said more and turned to leave.

Ranger's hand shot out and tightened around my arm. "I wasn't asking. Get in the car."

I pulled my arm free with some effort and glared at him. "No. I came here in a car I need to return. And then I'm going home. You can follow me if you don't believe me, but you cannot order me around."

Ranger took a step closer, our toes were almost touching, I could feel his eyes boring into mine without seeing them. "Do you have any idea how much I pay my men an hour?" His voice was cold; a slap in the face couldn't have hurt me more. "Do you have any idea how much it costs me to have them sitting in your parking lot, drinking coffee instead of doing their job because you decide to run away?"

"I didn't ask…"  
He interrupted me. "You didn't ask for it, but you need it. Stephanie, a five-year-old has more common sense than you. Get. In. the. Car. I won't say it again."

His words hurt, and I had a feeling he knew that. But beyond the pain, they made me furious.

"Or what?" I challenged. "You carry me off kicking and screaming?" I jerked my head around to indicate the restaurant. "Pino's is full of cops who'd just love to get you for kidnapping, I'd bet."

Ranger took his sunglasses off slowly. His eyes were cold, the look in them accompanying his blank face. "No, I won't drag you," he said calmly. "I'm only going to take you back to where you're safe."

Oh, didn't that leave a whole lot of options open? 'Safe', by Ranger's definition, could be a lot of places right about now.

"I don't need your help. This five year-old can take care of herself. Unlike you," I stabbed my finger into his chest, "A lot of my friends agree with me."

I straightened my shoulders and crossed my arms over my chest. "Call your men off. I don't want you wasting any more money on me. I'm perfectly safe. In fact, I've just had a meeting with a detective."

No reaction on his face. "You're _not _safe. Not from yourself."

Okay, that hurt more than his accusations before, more than the five-year-old comment even. So he hadn't given up on that yet. Well, there went his chances of me going with him. But I could only win this argument with words; I had no chance of running away if Ranger didn't want me to.

"If you never give me a chance to find out, no," I admitted. "You don't even share with me why you think I'm not safe. If you took your head out of your ass for a minute, you'd see I'm perfectly capable of…"

A car came screeching around the corner and Ranger turned his head in its direction. It slowed down at the next building over and the passenger side window rolled down. I saw the muzzle of an automatic rifle a split-second before Ranger yelled.

"Down!!" he bellowed and threw his weight against me, slamming me to the ground, knocking the wind out of me.

There was rapid gunfire, impossible to tell how many shots, and the unmistakable sound of bullets hitting metal.

I heard the tires screeching, and people screaming around me, but I couldn't see anything because I was completely buried under Ranger.

It took me a moment to come to my senses, but a quick inventory told me I was okay, I hadn't been hit. I'd probably have a sore ass from being knocked over, and my back would hurt, but other than that, I was fine. Except it was getting hard to breathe under Ranger's weight.

"Ranger," I pressed out. "It's over. They're not coming back. I can't breathe."

He didn't move.

"I think your car caught most of the bullets, thank God for German engineering, huh? Who knew that's why they were building them so strong?"

I struggled to get my hands between us and pressed them against his chest. "Really, it's over, I…"  
My blood froze when Ranger rolled off of me, not because he wanted to, but because I'd pushed him, grunting and breaking my nail with the effort it took to get him to move. He lay next to me motionless, his eyes closed. A thin trail of blood trickled down his temple.

Time stopped. I couldn't hear any sounds, I couldn't see anything but Ranger in next to me.

"RANGER!" I screamed, shaking him, panicking, needing him to open his eyes.

If there was a rational thought in my mind it was 'I can't lose him too, God, please no, don't let me lose him like I lost Joe!'

My hands were shaking as I tried to feel his pulse. "Somebody call 911!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs, praying somebody heard me, while trying to determine if Ranger's chest was moving.

Was he breathing? I couldn't keep my shaking fingers still long enough to feel a pulse, they were just aimlessly brushing against his neck, but I could tell he wasn't moving.

Someone was trying to pull me away from him and I angrily jerked away from them.

"Ranger!!"

TBC

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A/N: DunDun Dun, as one reviewer put it, right? Is Ranger serisoulsy hurt? Is he... 

Stephanie need your help right about now. Clearly, she won't accept Ranger's. Is there anybody else?


	30. Chapter 30

I'm wicked sorry it took me so long to update, I swear it wasn't to be mean! I was away for a week and I accidentally left my muse in the caribbean...well, OK, she hid and I had to make my flight.

Thank you all so very much for your reviews and feedback, I really appreciate it!

Spaciba to Stayce, who filled in for my absent muse on this one. Love ya!

Disclaimer: Still not my characters, but I promise to return them mostly unharmed. The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

* * *

Keep the Faith

Chapter 30

_Flashback_

"_Steph, there's no easy way to say this. I wanted to be the one to tell you, because you deserve that much. Joe's been shot, honey."_

_I sucked in some air. "Is he okay, Eddie?"_

_I tried to jump up to grab my purse and drive to the hospital, but Eddie held me back._

"_No, Steph, that's why I'm here. He died on the scene. He's gone, Steph," Eddie said softly._

I remember that conversation as if it was yesterday. Joe wasn't shot by a drive-by shooter, he was murdered by a psychopath who walked right up to him and shot him. But wasn't the result the same? And wasn't this my fault, again? There was no doubt in my mind the bullets were meant for me, if Ranger hadn't protected me with his body, I would be the one lying on the ground.

As I was clutching Ranger's lifeless body, my mind kept shouting, 'No, No, No!!! Not again.'

"Ranger, please…" I begged.

Tears were streaming down my face, blurring my vision. The blood was rushing in my ears and it was hard to breathe. I was barely aware of the crowd that had gathered around us, of the hands that were trying to pull me away from Ranger.

Sirens filled the air and everything was bathed in pulsating light, like a dream, it seemed unreal.

Strong hands seized both my shoulders and I was lifted up, unable to hold on to Ranger. I looked up to see Tank. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me away, ignoring my cries to stay.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he leaned me against a car, bending down to be at eye level. "Steph, are you okay?"

"R….Ra…Raaanger…" I wailed and swayed on my feet.

"The ambulance is here," Tank said, steadying me with his hands. "They're gonna take care of him."

He shook me lightly to make me focus on him. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head, trying to push him out of my way, trying to get back to Ranger's side. I couldn't see him anymore, the crowd was blocking my view, and I was panicking.

"We're taking you to the hospital," Tank said, not budging. "Both of you."

"Tank I can't see him!" I finally said, pushing against him again.

Tank shook his head, taking me by the upper arm. He looked around and nodded at someone, clearly oblivious to my struggle.

An EMT came into my field of vision, reaching out for me, and I shrunk against the car.

"I'm fine," I choked out. "I'm not hurt."

Tank's arm wouldn't let me slide away, so the EMT got a hold of me. "We're just going to check you out," he said calmly and looked at Tank again.

I wanted to scream that it wasn't me they should be worried about, it was Ranger, for Christ's sake, but I couldn't make the words come out, so I grabbed Tank's shirt, trying to shake him.

He obviously misunderstood, because he bent down and picked me up, carrying me further away from Ranger.

My head was pounding and everything swam in and out of focus, but I tried to wriggle free, kicking my legs. "Nooo. Nooo."

"Steph, you okay?" a familiar voice asked.

I tried to crane my neck, but the motion, along with the floating sensation of being carried, made me sick to my stomach. "Eddie?"

Panic set in again. What was he doing here? What did he come to tell me? This was all too much déjà vu for me.

We reached the waiting ambulance and Tank put me down on the gurney. Eddie Gazarra appeared by my side, taking my hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked again.

I nodded and he squeezed my hand. "They're gonna take care of Ranger, Sweetie. Now let them take care of you."

"But I…" I started and tried to sit up, but he gently pushed me back onto the gurney.

"I'll see you at the hospital, Steph, let them take care of you."

He left and the EMT went to work. Why was everybody so concerned over me, did no one care about Ranger?

Tank stayed by my side and boarded the ambulance when I was pushed in, taking my hand.

"Steph, they're taking care of Ranger," he said, reading my mind. "You need to calm down. You're white as a sheet and your blood pressure is off the charts."

I looked at him in shock. How in the hell did he expect me to calm down when I had probably killed Ranger?

"It'll be okay," he promised.

But I knew he had no way of knowing that, he was in the ambulance with me, after all. He was just trying to calm me down.

I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing while an oxygen mask was placed over my face, but all I could think of were my last words before the shooting, _'__If you took your head out of your ass for a minute'_.

And I couldn't shake the feeling they were the last words I'd ever say to him. My chest constricted at the thought and the machine I was hooked up to made some weird noises.

Maybe if I had stopped to think for a second, I would have realized I was the one with the head up her ass. Or at least in the sand. I was perfectly safe? To say I'd been proven wrong was the understatement of the year.

"Give her something," I heard Tank say.

I felt the ambulance move and grabbed Tank's hand, squeezing it with all the strength I had left.

I don't remember much about the rest of the ride, other than trying to remain conscious and panicking over Ranger. The ambulance came to a screeching halt and the doors were pulled open, and then I was in motion. I tried to hold on to Tank's hand, but I lost it in the shuffle.

I'd been taken to St. Francis. They knew me there, no forms needed to be filled out, no questions were asked. That was a good thing because in my current state, I would have had trouble remembering my name. I was patched up and wheeled into x-ray, although I wasn't sure what had needed patching up or anything, I was fine, and I kept trying to tell them.

From the nurses to the doctor to the x-ray technician, everybody told me they'd check on Ranger but no, I wasn't allowed to get up just yet.

By the time I was rolled back into my room, I was hysterical, sobbing uncontrollably, and convinced Ranger was dead. Just because everyone who worked at the hospital knew me, and knew how I'd lost Joe, they were keeping it from me.

My worst fear had come true, I had lost Ranger. And I'd killed him, just like I'd killed Joe. If his murderer hadn't been obsessed with me, Joe would still be alive. And if Ranger hadn't protected me_, he_'d still be alive.

They must have given me 'something' at this point because I don't remember anything else until I woke up in a semi-dark, sterile room.

It took me a moment to get my bearings, I must have been really out of it. My breath caught in my throat when I realized someone was holding my hand.

"Ranger" I croaked, my throat scratchy.

"Not quite, Sweetheart," Lester said and leaned forward. "How're you feeling?"

Although I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it, I needed a straightforward answer. "Is Ranger dead?"  
Lester chuckled and squeezed my hand. "Of course not. What makes you think that?" He reached out and brushed a lock of my hair off my face. "He's fine. Resting. He'll be good as new tomorrow, just like you."

I couldn't see his face in the sparse light, but I could hear the smile in his voice and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Ranger was alive.

I struggled to get up and all my muscles protested. Lester jumped up. "Whoa, Steph, take it easy!"

"I'm fine," I insisted even as the room started to get a little blurry.

I forced my legs over the edge of the bed and waited a moment for the dizziness to pass. When he realized I was going to get up with or without his approval, Lester took me by my arm to steady me.

"Let me get a wheelchair or something. Wait for just a sec?"

"I have to see Ranger," I said, as if that answered his question.

He gently pushed me back onto the bed. "Either you wait until I get a wheelchair or you stay here. I won't be the one telling Ranger you got hurt on my watch."

I snorted. I could get hurt on anybody's watch, even Ranger's. Everybody needs a talent, right? But on the other hand, the last thing I wanted was to get Lester in trouble, so I sat back.

"Besides," he continued. "Your family is camped outside, just waiting for word that you woke up. I tried to send them home last night but I doubt they went far."

I groaned inwardly. This was the second time in a week I was here, not even my dad would be able to withhold a comment this time, I was sure. But delaying it wouldn't make it any easier, Mom would say what she had to say, now or later.

There was no way I'd get by my family if they were waiting outside. And it wouldn't be fair, they were worried about me.

"And then there are the cops, also waiting outside. As soon as they learn you're awake they're gonna want to talk to you, too."

"Ranger is really okay?" I asked Lester again, ignoring the police remark. Maybe if I ignored them they'd go away. There was nothing I could tell them, I hadn't seen anything.

"He got hit in the noggin," Lester said and slapped the side of his head for emphasis. "Woke up in the ambulance." He chuckled. "Last time I checked, they were thinking about putting him in restraints because he wouldn't lie still."

"Trying to get back to work?" I guessed.

Lester grew serious. "No, Sweetheart. Trying to get to you, to make sure you were okay."

"After I almost got him killed?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Honey, he probably got hurt worse in boot camp." He sat down again and ran his hand over my arm. "Trust me, this one didn't even register."

I wondered whether Lester was trying to make me feel better or telling the truth. And if what was said before the shooting had registered, if not the injuries. I'd been acting pretty bitchy.

So Ranger had been right. Again. About the needing protection part at least. I thought I'd proven I didn't need any mental help. Nothing like a death scare to put things into perspective, eh?

"I know that's how _I_ feel," Lester said, mistaking my silence for uncertainty.

"I'm sorry I got you shot," I said.

"Wasn't your fault, Sweetheart." He took my hand in his. "It never is. You have to believe that."

I raised my eyebrows. Who was this guy? The Lester I knew expressed himself through jokes and banter, he didn't do serious. "I thought_ I_ was the one who hit her head," I blurted out.

Lester smiled. "Joke all you want. You gave us all a scare earlier, and I had to tell you how I feel."

Now he was bordering on scaring me. "I think…"

A knock on the door interrupted me, and a second later, my parents, Valerie and Grandma Mazur burst in.

"She's awake!" my mom exclaimed and rushed over to my side.

Lester got up from his chair and took a few steps back to give them room.

"How do you feel?" Valerie wanted to know.

"Are you really pregnant? I heard you fainted," Grandma Mazur blurted out.

Lester snorted at that and I sent him a death glare. He was really enjoying this.

I sighed and sank back into the pillows. Oh, this was going to be a long visiting hour.

Lester shrank more and more into the background, although I tried to send him visual cries for help. I tried to block out my mom as best as possible, of course she had to bring up all her friends' daughters who never end up in the hospital after a drive by shooting.

It took some time to convince my grandmother that I hadn't passed out because I was pregnant, probably she thought that would have been more interesting than me getting shot at. Again.

"I think we should let Steph get some rest," my dad suddenly said and everybody shut up. My dad never interrupted my mom. He just shrugged and I beamed at him.

"I think Dad is right," Valerie backed him up, hooking her arm with Mom's.

"Well, the doctor said they're going to keep you here overnight," Mom said. "Your father will pick you up and you come home to us. We'll talk then."

"Okay," was all I could manage.

I didn't want to disappoint my dad after he'd just rescued me, but I knew I wasn't going to leave the hospital without Ranger, and then only to go home with him.

They filed out of the room after saying their goodbyes and I breathed a sigh of relief. Lester pushed himself off the wall smiling. "I like your dad."

I struggled to sit up again. "I'm glad he rescued me. I need to see Ranger now."

"Uhm…don't you think you should wait for your doctor first?"

"So he can tell me what I already know?" I asked, getting irritated. "No. I want to see Ranger."

The fear was back. Why was he trying to keep me in the room? Had he lied about Ranger?

"Why are you stalling me?" I asked him flat out.

"Sta…what?" His eyes widened.

"If Ranger's okay, there's no reason for me not to see him, right?" I challenged him.

Lester lowered his head, studying his shoes. "There's all kinds of okay…"

My heart skipped a beat. If I hadn't felt so dizzy, I would have jumped up and grabbed him by the shirtfront, shaking him until he told me the truth.

"No," I said, trying to take even breaths. "There's just one kind of okay, and you know it. Is Ranger alive?"

Lester blew out a breath and looked up again. "I told you he is."

"Is he conscious?" Direct questions, I thought. There was no way Lester could talk his way out of direct questions.

"He woke up in the ambulance," Lester said.

"So I can go see him now," I said, slowly pushing myself off the bed.

"The cops still want to talk to you," he reminded me.

I rolled my eyes. "They'll have to wait. I don't have anything to tell them, I have no idea what happened. I'm sure they won't mind learning nothing a little later."

"I'll get the wheelchair." Lester sighed, shaking his head slightly, and walked out of the room as I was trying to shake the dizziness that made everything spin.

Maybe talking to the doctor wasn't such a bad idea, Dr. Mahoney had suggested as much. But that could wait, first I had to see Ranger.

By the time Lester rolled the wheelchair in, I was standing on both feet, leaning my butt against the bed, feeling better by the second. I slowly walked over to meet Lester halfway, realizing I did need the wheelchair, I didn't want to take any chances. Hospitals are just waiting for you to trip so they can keep you another day or so, I know they do!

I couldn't quite read the look on Lester's face, until I recognized the woman walking in behind him. Everything fell into place then. Lester had been stalling me, but not because he didn't want me to see Ranger. He'd been trying to keep me in my room so Stayce the Shrink could get here.

I was furious. "I don't want to talk to you," I said without looking at her and pushing myself of the bed.

"Steph," Lester started, but I cut him off.

"And I don't want to talk to _you_ either, for that matter." My head started pounding as my blood pressure sped up and I tried to ignore it.

"Stephanie," Stayce said in her 'I understand' psychologist's voice and I immediately held up my hand in the universal stop gesture.

"I don't know who called you, but I'm fine. Ranger was shot and I haven't seen him since. I can't talk to you right now."

I had reached the wheelchair and tried to pull it out of Lester's hands.

"Steph," Lester said, "Ranger called her."

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. Ranger called her? To come here?

Both Lester and Stayce were looking at me now and I realized I couldn't show my anger. For all I knew, Stayce would have me committed if I freaked out now. So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I'd been worried sick about Ranger and he'd called a shrink on me. Bastard! Now I really couldn't wait to see him so I could slap him.

"I really think we should talk," Stayce said and took a step forward.

"It'll have to wait," I said. "I'll call you."

Lester finally let go of the wheelchair, but only to close the door behind him and cross his arms over his chest.

I scoffed. "You have _got _to be kidding me."

"I'm sorry Steph," Lester said and looked like he really meant that. "Direct order from the boss."

"Well, he's not my boss. Don't make me move you."

Okay, so that was a lot of hot air. First of all, Ranger _was_ technically my boss since I worked at RangeMan. And second of all, if Lester didn't want to move, there was nothing I could do about that. He was almost a foot taller and outweighed me by about 100 pounds. But still, it was worth a try. I crossed my own arms and glared at him.

"Stephanie," Stayce tried again, this time touching my arm. "I just want to talk to you. It won't take long. Of course I won't force you, but it's in your best interest."

"Please Steph," Lester said, his brows meeting in a frown.

Damn, he knew what to say just as well as Ranger. 'Please' was my big weakness, especially when used as rarely as Lester and Ranger used it. That and the fact that I couldn't get by him if I tried and I would look crazy trying. I had to appear stable so that Stayce wouldn't lock me up, I figured.

"Fine," I relented. "What do you want to talk about?"

Stayce motioned for me to get back into bed. I figured if I played along, she'd declare me sane and let me see Ranger. I was going to have a serious talk about this with Lester later, I felt he'd betrayed me by not telling me we were waiting for the shrink.

"I'll be right outside, Steph," Lester said as if on cue and disappeared.

I climbed back into bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to appear calm, while Stayce pulled a chair over, sat down, and took a writing pad out of her purse.

After Joe'd died, I'd found it helpful to talk to Stayce. It had been a very traumatic event and I just needed someone to talk to. She was a grief counselor, after all. But now? I had nothing to tell her. Sure, there were problems, but none she could help me with. Mentally, I was fine.

I knew Ranger meant well, but he'd gone too far. And if he was well enough when I saw him later, I would tell him exactly what I thought of his idea. But right now, to even get to Ranger, I had to endure the head shrinking session.

"I understand you had a stressful couple of weeks," Stayce began. "Do you want to tell me about it?"  
Fine, I decided, I was sort of trapped. I had to give her something.

"A couple weeks ago, a friend called in a favor," I said, finally looking at her. "He's a business man, so he sent one of his employees to pick me up. That guy didn't like me very much and ended up dead. Since I didn't like him much either, there was a chance the police were gonna charge me with his murder."

"Did you dislike him enough to wish him dead?" Stayce asked.

"No, of course not," I rushed to say. "He was a bully and sort of mean, and I didn't want anything to do with him, but I never thought of killing him!"

Stayce nodded and made notes. "Are you afraid you're going to get arrested?"

"No." I shook my head. "I talked to the lead detective on the case and she told me I wasn't a suspect.

More note writing. "How do you feel about getting shot at?"

I groaned inwardly. I hated those questions. How did anyone feel about getting shot at? What a stupid thing to ask!!

"I'm used to it," I lied. "But I have to make sure Ranger is okay, he was the one who got shot."

"Do you feel guilty about that?"

I couldn't keep the exasperated sigh in and opened my mouth to answer, but then her question hit home. Did I feel guilty?

Lester had just told me minutes ago that it wasn't my fault, and you can't be blamed for things that aren't your fault, so you can't feel guilty about them, right? Except the first thing I remember when Ranger's lifeless body rolled off of me _was_ guilt. The bullet had been meant for me, and I knew it.

So, okay, yes, I did feel guilty. But did I want to admit that to a psychologist, possibly prompting her to prescribe a dozen more sessions?

"No," I said and studied my hands. Not very convincing, but the best I could do.

I could hear the pen scraping the paper as Stayce made more notes.

"Why do you think Ranger called me here to talk to you?"

Enough. I felt like she was invading my privacy without my permission and the only reply I had for her was 'That's none of your fucking business'.

"Ranger and I haven't seen eye to eye the past couple days," I explained. "I guess he thought talking to you may help me see things his way."

I thought that sounded incredibly calm and sane. Any moment now, she'd get up and declare me healthy, I was sure of it.

When she didn't say anything I looked up to meet her gaze. She was regarding me with her calm green eyes, not judging, but not declaring me anything either.

"You think he told me something to say to you because you wouldn't listen to him?"

On my best day, I wasn't known for my patience. And this wasn't exactly my best day.

"Why don't you ask him why he called you?" I asked, maybe a little snippier than I'd intended.

Stayce didn't bat an eye. "He told me why he called me. I'm trying to find out if you agree you need to talk to me."

'What do you think?' would be my gut reaction to that stupid question. I shook my head slowly. "I think I want to discuss that with Ranger if you don't mind. Really, no offense, but I don't have anything to talk about with you right now."

She leaned back in her chair and forgot about her note pad for the moment. Our eyes locked and I had the feeling she was trying to read my mind.

"You were kidnapped twice," she said softly. "You were hurt and you must have been scared. Have you had a chance to digest that before you were shot at?"

"I try not to think about it," I told her honestly.

She nodded and 'hmmmm'ed'. "So you try to deny it ever happened as a way to cope with it?"

"No," I objected. "I store it away for when I have time to think about it, wait for a time when I'm less emotional to deal with it."

There was a knock on the door and I sighed with relief. I'd never been happier about an interruption.

Carl Costanza stuck his head in. "You decent, Steph?"

I waved him in. "Dr. Leuck was just leaving."

That had sounded rude even to my ears, but I didn't care. I had nothing more to say to her.

"I have to ask you a few questions," Carl said, closing the door behind him. He looked at Stayce. "But I can come back if this isn't a good time."

"No, I was just leaving," Stayce said with a poignant look at me. "I'll be back later."

She stood and gathered her stuff. "Sure," I said noncommittally.

She nodded at Carl and then at me. "Later then." And she was gone.

I sank back into the pillows. "Thank you Carl."

"What'd I do?" he asked confused.

"She's a shrink," I explained.

"Yeah, I know," Carl said. "Very nice lady. And good at what she does."

I frowned at him. "Not you, too!"

He just shrugged and took the vacated chair, taking out his own notepad. What was it with everybody making notes?  
"Can we do this later, Carl? I really want to see Ranger, I need to know he's okay."

"This won't take long. I just have to complete the report and you're the only one I haven't talked to. And Ranger…"

"What about Ranger?" I sat up straight, ready to jump out of bed if necessary.

Carl looked down at his notepad. "Let's just say you won't get past any of his men until you talk to me and Stayce, I heard the order."

My eyes narrowed and the panic about Ranger was now completely replaced by anger at him. How could he? Would he want to make sure_ I_ was okay first, too?

I remembered the last words before the shooting. He'd wanted me to talk to someone and make me if he had to. A part of me hadn't believed the 'make me' part, and I would have thought he'd forgotten all about it when hell broke loose. I should have known better. If he'd been here right now, I would have slapped him.

Realizing Carl was not the one I should be angry with, I struggled for control.

After a couple deep breaths, I sighed again and answered his questions about the shooting. No, I hadn't seen the shooter. No, I didn't memorize the license plate and no, I had no idea who could want me dead.

Carl finished his notes and looked up at me. "This was too close, Steph. Until we find out who's behind this, you should have police protection."

"I already have RangeMan protection," I pointed out, gesturing towards the door.

Carl nodded. "I know. I was talking about protective custody. A safe house."

"How do you know they didn't mean to shoot Ranger? Huh?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why does everybody always assume they want _me_ dead?"

"As far as I know Ranger hasn't received anonymous phone calls and emails lately," Carl said.

Well, okay, I had to give him that. "But you can't be 100 percent sure," I insisted.

"Nothing's ever 100 percent," he admitted. "But Ranger can take care of himself and he's always very careful. You're the one who needs protection."

Ungh. That was sounding like a very old record. Probably Ranger had given his orders to Carl and Stayce as well, whether they'd realized it or not.

"Why don't you discuss this with Ranger?" Carl suggested and stood up.

He walked over to the wheelchair and rolled it over to my bed, but I hesitated. If I saw Ranger right now, I didn't know if I'd be able to stay calm.

An hour ago, all I wanted was to make sure he was okay, to see it with my own eyes. Then I had to learn he was more than okay, he'd been playing with my feelings. He knew I'd want nothing more than to see him, and he'd used that to make me talk to Stayce and Carl.

"Steph?" Carl asked.

"I don't want to see him," I said, pulling up the blanket over my chest. "I'm pretty tired. I think I'm just gonna sleep."

Carl looked totally confused as I turned my back on him. I didn't want him to see the tears that had started pooling in my eyes. "Thanks for stopping by."

There was a moment's silence, then Carl exhaled audibly. "If you're sure…" he said and I heard his footsteps walk away. The door opened. "Hope you feel better, Steph."

I didn't breathe until I heard the door close behind him. Then I got up so fast, it made me dizzy again, but I ignored it. Who was Ranger to make me do what he wanted? If he thought I was his lapdog now, he'd have to think again.

I took a look around the room, searching for my clothes, and then waddled over to the door by the bathroom, hoping it was a closet. I was going to leave, and I was going to do it now, I was going to stay at my parents until I felt better and if Ranger called, I'd tell him to go to hell.

It was a closet, but it didn't hold my clothes. All that was there was my shoulder bag and another hospital gown like the one I was wearing. Fine, I'd improvise.

I yanked my shoulder bag to me and slammed the closet door shut, getting angrier with every minute. This was what we'd talked about ages ago, that he wouldn't make decisions for me. Good to know what promises are worth to him!

Just as I searched for my sunglasses to have at least a little disguise, the door to my room opened. Now I was glad I didn't have any clothes to put on, I'd have a million excuses for standing here. Maybe I could convince the doctor I was okay to leave?

"Feeling better?" Ranger asked and my heart sank. Ironically he was the one person I'd wanted to see the most a few minutes ago and the last person I want to see now.

"Never better," I replied without looking up.

"Babe."

I knew he could read me like an open book, and the anger was probably radiating off of me, and as usual, he didn't have to say anything else.

"What the fuck do you think…" I finally looked up at him and the words died on my tongue.

One side of Ranger's head was shaved; a big gauze pad had been taped over the space between his temple and his ear. Ranger's head looked exactly like mine.

And I couldn't help laughing. "You look like me!" I exclaimed and closed the distance between us, all but slamming myself against him.

He embraced me, his strong arms catching me easily and holding me against him.

I forgot my anger, I was too happy to see him on his feet, too happy to feel him against me. First I was scared I'd gotten him killed, then I wanted to shoot him myself, now all I wanted was to feel him against me.

Call me a sap, but when he put his hand under my chin to lift it and brought his lips down on mine, I was suddenly happy, and nothing else mattered.

TBC

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A/N: Do you think Steph should have talked to the shrink some more? Or is there anyone else you think can get through to her? Should she just forgive Ranger or should she confront him about his actions? Whether you agree or disagree, I'd love to hear from you, your feedback is my inspiration! 


	31. Chapter 31

Thank you all so very much for your feedback. I appreciate your reviews so very much, please keep them coming.

This is the second to last chapter, so I apologize if there's too much 'wrapping up' going on and not enough action…

A special thanks to Donna and Cathy for suggesting this solution.

I have the best editor in the world. I hope you feel better soon Stayce, thank you so much for your help!

Disclaimer: Still not my characters, but I promise to return them mostly unharmed. The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 31

"I'm happy to see you, too," Ranger said when the kiss ended, and there was an unusual amount of emotion in his voice. As much as I complain that Ranger doesn't share his feelings, when he gets emotional like that, it almost scares me.

"I thought you were dead," I said, tightening my arms around him. I never wanted to let go.

He didn't respond to that, he just put his chin on my head and held me. We stood like that for several minutes, and I felt like nothing else mattered. Ranger was alive.

Finally, Ranger took a step back and I reluctantly released him.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, lifting my chin with his index finger so he could make eye contact.

I sighed. "I'm fine. If I had all my hair, I'd even be ecstatic."

Ranger chuckled. "I know the feeling. But I wasn't so much talking about your physical state…"

He just had to bring that up, didn't he? "Oh." I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "I'm mad at you."

He pulled me to him again and wrapped his arms around me. "Small price to pay if you're feeling better."

I'd expected an apology, or maybe an explanation. Hard to be mad at somebody who accepts the blame so willingly. Or was he? Maybe he was just making fun of me? I knew I could just let it go, but my pride wouldn't let me.

I freed myself out of his embrace. "No, I mean it. I'm happy you're healthy except for…" I gestured at his head, "but that doesn't give you the right to sic a shrink on me. And to make it a condition to see you?"  
Ranger shrugged. "I got Carl's message that that plan didn't work so well." He took me by the shoulders and made sure he had my full attention before he continued. "Look Steph, we need talk about this, but not here and not now. Your doctor will be in soon to talk to you, if he likes what he sees, you'll be released in the morning."

"Stay here overnight?" I asked, the surprise making my voice kind of pitchy. "But I'm fine!"

Ranger shook his head, it looked more like exasperation than anything else and I suddenly felt like a spoiled kid. All that was missing was the whine. What was I doing? I knew the routine. Probably they just wanted me to stay for observation, no big.

I took in Ranger's clothes; black on black, down to the combat boots. "How come they aren't making _you_ stay? You're the one with the head wound!"

"I'm leaving AMA," Ranger admitted.

I studied him for a long moment, waiting for some kind of explanation, I guess. He didn't offer any.

"So what you're saying is, even though we were both injured, and I wasn't the one bleeding, that you're okay to leave and I'm not." The anger was back, simmering just below the surface. If I didn't keep a lid on it, I'd explode.

Ranger ran his hand down the healthy side of my head. "What I'm saying is that you've been through a lot more than I have the past couple days. You need some rest."

I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and tell him exactly what I thought of his suggestion, but I knew there was no use talking to Ranger in his current mood. He was sure he was doing what was best for me. And I was tired of the same argument over and over.

"Ah yes, rest. What better place to get it than at the one I hate?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, and then I turned away from Ranger.

"Steph," he started, but I kept walking over to my bed.

This conversation was over as far as I was concerned. How this man could turn me from angry to loving and back to angry in a matter of minutes was incredible.

I climbed into the bed and avoided looking at him, but out of the corner of my eye, I could see he hadn't moved. Hard to tell what he was thinking.

"Lester will stay here," he said after a moment. "I'll pick you up in the morning."

And the he was gone. I stared at the closed door open mouthed, unable to grasp what had just happened. He was supposed to come after me, to beg me to understand, or apologize, or whatever. Instead he had left! How can you have an argument with someone who doesn't fight? Just because I'd considered the conversation over, didn't mean he was allowed to. Damn him!

I sighed heavily and sank back into the pillows. I had no intention of staying overnight, that much was clear. But I wasn't going to sneak out, that had been a silly idea. If Ranger could go AMA, so could I, I'd sign whatever form the doctor would throw at me.

I didn't have to wait long. My doctor came to see me on his evening rounds. His name was Ellsberger, which sounded way too German for my taste, and I'd never seen him before. But he was nice enough as he explained he was running some tests and was waiting for the results, should have them in the morning. I didn't ask what kind of tests.

"I'd rather leave tonight," I said. "I feel fine."

He looked from me to my chart and started raising his eyebrows. "It's okay," I cut him off before he could argue. "I'll sign the form."

"I can't keep you here against your will." Well, that was a relief. "But make sure you check in tomorrow for your test results."

With that, he promised he'd get my discharge papers ready and left. Wow, that had been easier than I thought!

I got up and retrieved my shoulder bag from the floor by the closet where I'd dropped it when Ranger entered and fished out my cell phone. It only took me a second to know exactly where I was going.

"Mom, it's me. I'm being released tonight, can you send Dad to pick me up?" I said when my mom answered her home phone.

"Already?" Mom sounded doubtful. "They told us they'd keep you overnight."  
"You know how I hate hospitals. I'm better off at your house."

Mom couldn't argue with that and promised to send my dad over right away, and I disconnected with a smile on my face after asking her to pack a change of clothes for me. I was going home.

There were basic toiletries in the bathroom, and I used them to freshen up. At some point, I decided after a quick glance in the mirror, I had to make a decision about my hair. I looked like a circus freak right now.

Maybe Ranger was right. Maybe I should just get some rest. And staying at my parents' house, while being chaotic in its own right, would at least guarantee I wouldn't have to look for intruders, or fear being attacked at night.

I didn't have a hat, so I just made the best effort at a half-assed ponytail and left it at that, there was no need for make-up, I decided.

A half hour later, there was another knock on my door and my dad entered, followed by Lester.

"Your dad is here to pick you up," Lester said, although he made it sound more like a question than a statement. I knew what he was thinking.

"Dr. Ellsberger has my discharge papers ready," I told him, taking the small bag from my dad. "I'll just get these on and be ready to leave in a minute."

Dad nodded and Lester looked confused as I disappeared into the bathroom. My guess was he was trying to decide whether to call Ranger or not. Probably he would have been less surprised if I'd just snuck out the window.

I put on the clothes my mom had packed, underwear, blue jeans and a white long-sleeved t-shirt, and felt a little more human. Now I couldn't wait to take a shower and wash the hospital grime off.

"OK, I'm ready," I announced when I stepped out of the bathroom.

"Whoa, hold on," Lester said. "Ranger know you're leaving?"

Wrong thing to say. Now Lester was making us both sound like Ranger was our dad. Or like we were his dogs. I shook my head to clear it from such thoughts, knowing Lester had meant nothing like that.

"He will once you tell him. My dad is taking me home," I said as calmly as I could and picked up my shoulder bag.

Lester narrowed his eyes at me slightly and I almost crossed my arms over my chest defiantly, when my dad jumped in for the second time that day.

He held his hands out for the now almost empty duffle. "I'm parked right out front."

Lester took a step to the side, indicating I was free to go, and plucked his cell phone off his belt. "Please wait for us to take position behind you, Mr. Plum," he said and punched in a number.

Dad just shrugged and held the door open for me. The look in Lester's eyes told me he didn't think this was over and would talk to me later. I shrugged mentally, he was in good company, everyone seemed to have a bone to pick with me.

Dad didn't say a word while I signed the discharge papers or while we took the elevator down, but I didn't really expect him to. He's a man of few words, he and Ranger have that in common. Damn, now I was thinking about him again!

My phone started ringing just as we left the hospital. I didn't have to look at it to know who it was, I was sure Lester had called Ranger as soon as I left my room. What would I say to Ranger? 'You left so I left'? Something even more childish than that? No, I was better off not talking to him for the time being, until I had a chance to rest, as he'd suggested.

Dad unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for me. "Your phone's ringing."

I contemplated fibbing for a second, but I was so tired of it. In the end, I went with the truth. "I don't want to talk to anyone."

He just nodded and closed my door, walked around the front and sat down beside me. "Your mother is re-heating dinner," he said with a glance in the rearview mirror.

"That's nice," I said, and my stomach grumbled in response. I really was hungry.

We waited for the RangeMan SUV to pull up behind us, and I had the urge to tell my dad to just take off, but I knew he wouldn't have. He'd told Lester he'd wait, and that's what he'd do, my dad was a 'man of his word'. He started the engine when the shiny black Pathfinder flashed its headlights behind us, but before we could leave the parking lot, a blue and white pulled up and Carl jumped out.

Dad rolled down the window and Carl stooped down as he tipped his head. "Frank, we're gonna escort you if you don't mind. Going home?"  
Dad nodded. "I sure appreciate it."

Well, at least one of us did. I thought it was total overkill, but I kept my mouth shut as Dad rolled the window back up and we finally got moving.

Riding in a car with my dad was a lot like sitting next to Ranger, actually. I don't know if Dad has a zone, too, but he doesn't say anything. It suited me just fine, because I had a lot to think about myself. Like, what happened to the mental to-do list I had?

When we pulled into my parents' driveway, the porch light was on and Mom and Grandma Mazur were standing in the open door behind the storm door as usual. The black SUV parked at the curb and the cop car parked right behind us.

"I have dinner ready," was the first thing my Mom said when I got into the house. That was Plum speak for 'I love you and I hope you're okay, let me take care of you'.

"I'm starving," I said, the equivalent of 'I love you too'.

"Should we invite the hotties?" Grandma Mazur asked, jerking her head at the SUV.

Mom looked from the SUV to the blue and white, wringing her hands. "I don't have enough for all these hungry men!"

That must have been killing her because in her mind she was violating Burg customs, so I rushed to tell her all the men had already eaten anyway.

We all sat down to dinner even though it was past nine. It meant a big deal that dinner was served after six PM, and I was so grateful, I took seconds. When I had to open the top snap on my jeans after the blueberry pie, I felt better. Life was never all bad when you had dinner.

I knew my mom had a thousand questions for me, but I was in no mood to answer any of them. So I pretended to have a killer headache and went to bed. The bed was freshly made and my nightgown lay ironed on top of it when I got to my room and I once again congratulated myself on my decision to stay here.

When I got out of the bathroom, my dad was standing on top of the stairs with my cell phone in his hand. "Ranger wants to talk to you."

Here I'd thought it had been a great idea to 'forget' my phone in my shoulder bag. It may have been, if I'd remembered to turn it off.

I was very close to lifting my nose and telling my dad that I didn't want to talk to Ranger, but then I had this image about a stubborn little girl in my head and too the phone with a sigh. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I sighed and plopped down on the bed.

"Yo," I finally said.

"You left the hospital," Ranger said and I tried to read his tone. It sounded like the emotionless voice that went with the blank face, there was no telling how he felt.

"Against medical advice, just like you," I said.

"And against my advice," Ranger said.

"I hate hospitals. And you said I needed rest, I'm at my parents' house, I can rest here." There, didn't that sound like a good argument?

When he didn't respond, I continued. "Lester's outside along with the cops. I'm totally protected, I'm safe." Still no response. "That's what you were concerned about, right? Don't worry, I'm really safe."

I heard him take a deep breath. "You need help Steph."

"What I need is a good night's sleep and a boyfriend who supports me," I shot back, maybe a little too annoyed. But I'd had it with his safety and help shit.

"I support you," he said, still all calm. "But if you want a boyfriend who sits back and watches you fall apart, you have to look elsewhere."

No fair, how was I supposed to come up with a comeback to that? "I'm not falling apart." Lame.

Again with the pause. I knew what he was waiting for, he'd made a pretty heavy statement, did I want to look elsewhere? He couldn't possibly think that!

So I said the first thing that came to mind, "I miss you."

Meaning, I missed the old Ranger, I missed being with him the way he was before his mission, and before Harry had called his favor in. We were happy!

"I miss you too," he said after a moment and I could picture him, leaning his forehead against the wall with his eyes closed.

Did he mean that the same way? Had I changed in the past couple weeks? I didn't think so, but I wasn't always on top of my game these days.

I sighed. "I need to work some things out. Give me some time."

"I'll call you tomorrow," he said.

"I love you," I said just before he disconnected. He didn't reply.

I realized I'd admitted what I hadn't even admitted to myself before, I did need to work some things out. I needed to update my to-do list. No, fuck the to do _list_, I needed to _do_ it!

I snapped the phone shut and slid under the covers, staring at the same ceiling I'd stared at as a teenager. Tomorrow, I promised, tomorrow I'd get to doing.

Sunlight filtered in through the sheers, and I was momentarily disoriented. I waited for the inevitable fight over the bathroom, but I couldn't hear anything. Getting my robe out of the closet, I shuffled out of my room. The bathroom door was wide open and I could hear my mom puttering in the kitchen. After I did what was necessary in the bathroom, I checked my cell phone clock: it was already 10:30, I'd slept almost twelve hours!

Now it made sense that I felt so rested, I'd finally gotten the sleep I needed. See, I told myself, it was a good idea to come here.

I knew breakfast was over and Mom would be preparing lunch right now, so I took a long shower, dressed in clothes my mom had ironed and put in the closet for me, and went downstairs in search of coffee.

Mary Lou was sitting at the kitchen table, some cookies and a mug of coffee in front of her. "Hey there, Sleeping Beauty," she greeted me with a smile.

"Are you feeling better?" my mom asked as I filled my own mug.

I nodded. "Yeah, I haven't slept this much in weeks."

"The men had breakfast, but now they're back outside in their car and Mary Lou came to see you," my mother said, "But she wouldn't let me wake you." Then she went back to her pot on the stove. It smelled like minestrone. I suspected 'the men' were the Merry Men and my mom had treated them to a breakfast of bacon and eggs they were unable to turn down.

"Where are Dad and Grandma?" I asked.

"Your father is out with the cab," my mother said, stirring the soup. "And your grandmother is at the beauty parlor, she said she had a lot to share."

I sat down next to Mary Lou and took a cookie from her plate. "Sorry I kept you waiting."

Mary Lou waved her hand dismissively. "Don't worry. Lenny has the kids this morning, they're visiting the in-laws. This is my time off anyway."

We made small talk until my mom declared the soup ready to simmer and disappeared to do her laundry. Then Mary Lou turned to me and her expression grew serious.

"How are you? I heard you were in the hospital again? Are you okay?"

Boy, that was a loaded question. I almost said 'Define okay', but then I had an idea.

"Mare, would you drive to the cemetery with me? I want to visit Joe, but I don't want to do it alone."

Mary Lou said she'd be happy to, and after I told my mom and grabbed my purse, we left the house. I waved at the Merry Men on our way to Mary Lou's Camry and they flashed their headlights in acknowledgement as they started the engine.

Although it was only early June, it felt like summer. It was sunny and hot as we got out of the car at the cemetery. We'd stopped at the florist on the way over and I had a bouquet of yellow tulips to place on Joe's grave.

I put the flowers down next to the headstone and then sat down, touching the stone. It was my way of saying hello. Mary Lou excused herself to lay her own flowers down on her grandparents' graves, and I knew she was giving me time alone with Joe.

It's not that I hear his voice in my head or anything, but I feel close to him when I sit by his grave. I told him about the last couple days and imagined his reaction. But I couldn't think of any advice he'd give me, only he had always known the right thing to say or do.

"You still miss him, don't you?" Mary Lou interrupted my thoughts.

I looked up at her and nodded. "A lot."

"You have a visitor," Mary Lou said and waved over at the entrance to the cemetery. "But it looks like your bodyguards won't let him through."

I stood up and dusted my pants off. Sure enough there was Hal, standing between Harry the Hammer and the entrance gate. I smiled, feeling very safe.

"It's okay Hal," I told him when I reached him. "I want to talk to Mr. Garibaldi."

Hal gave me a look that seemed to ask 'Are you sure?', but stepped aside to let Harry through.

"Sorry to disturb you here," Harry said, holding out his hand. "I didn't know you were here, but I do want to talk to you too."

We shook hands and walked over to one of the benches. "You have protection now," Harry said, waving over to the gate. "That's smart."

"A couple weeks ago, I thought I needed protection from you," I admitted.

He shook his head. "I'm just here to pay my respects."

"Oh I know," I rushed to say. "I had it pretty wrong. I mean, I also thought Guzzarella was acting on your orders."

I couldn't read the look in his eyes as he nodded slowly. "He was for a long time. But he won't bother you any more."

Hm. That much was true, but was that because Harry had 'taken care' of things? Probably I should have asked that, if only I'd have the guts to.

"I'm sorry about what happened at my house," Harry said.

Oh that. What had happened again? It hadn't ended with me being kidnapped, so I barely remembered. Apart from the knocking Tank out part.

"Now Eric's father will take care of him and his associates," Harry said.

I'd almost managed to forget all about the bad guys. They were dead or arrested, that's all I cared about.

"He won't get a chance to," I said. "DalBo and Hartung are in prison, awaiting trial."

A small smile played on Harry's lips and I felt a little stupid for what I'd said. As if prison walls could stop you if you were 'connected'. I was sure I didn't want to know DalBo Sr.'s plan of action here. A change of subject was in order.

"Do you still want Joyce out of the picture?"

"I don't want her dead," Harry said and I realized I should choose my words more carefully in his company.

"You just want her gone, out of Vinnie's life," I clarified and Harry nodded, the smile dying.

"I know he's your family, but Lucille should have never married that faccia di stronzo!" he said, his voice barely rising at the insult.

"I have a suggestion then," I said, making the plan as I spoke. "If you help me get rid of whoever wants me dead, I get rid of the skank. That's a promise."

The words 'deal with the devil' tried to swim to my minds surface but I pushed them down again as I struck out my hand just as Mary Lou was approaching us.

If Harry was surprised, he didn't show it. He shook my hand slowly and for at least a minute. "I heard what happened to you yesterday. I hope you never suspected I had anything to do with it?"  
"No," I said, shaking my head so fast it made me dizzy again, "that never even crossed my mind!"

Harry looked up to greet Mary Lou then he turned to me again. "Why don't we meet at a nicer place to discuss this? Tomorrow at noon?"  
"My parents' house," I decided and Mary Lou sucked in some air. But I was done with Harry's house and any other public place. Nothing bad had ever happened at my parents' house.

Harry only hesitated a moment before he nodded. "Tomorrow then," he said and nodded once at Mary Lou and once at me by way of saying goodbye.

I sank back against the bench with a whoosh. "What the hell was that?" Mary Lou asked as she plopped down next to me. "I almost bit my tongue off trying to stay quiet!"

We both watched Harry walk through the gate and get into his car, Hal never taking his eyes off of him. "Mom is gonna freak when I tell her."

Mary Lou snorted. "Duh. I'm not sure I'm not gonna freak. Did you just set a date with Harry the Hammer?"

"It's not a date," I said turning back to her. "But I could sure use one of those."

Now she frowned. "What about Ranger? Aren't you two as good as…"  
I cut her off before she could finish that sentence. "I don't know." Then I sighed and told Mary Lou everything.

We were far enough from the Merry Men so that they couldn't hear us and there was no one else on the cemetery within ear shot. It was just Mare and me. And it felt good to share, go figure. I told her all about Ranger's 'suggestion', trying hard to keep it neutral, his behavior in the hospital, and finally about the last phone call.

I took a deep breath. "So that's why I'm not exactly sure what I have and where we stand."

Mary Lou thought for a second and then she straightened her shoulders. "I'm gonna ignore the fact that you didn't call me and tell me about this before, I understand there was other shit going down. How you kept all this to yourself for so long I don't know. But, hello, no wonder you're a mess!"

"I'm not a mess," I said, regretting I'd shared with her.

She put her hand on my arm. "I didn't mean it that way," she said, but then her forehead scrunched up again. "Or maybe I did. But I said it as a friend who wants to help. You need help, Steph."

I knew she was waiting for me to protest here, but I'd realized she was right before she even showed up at my parents' house. I may not have believed Ranger the first ten times he said it, but I believed him now.

"I know," I admitted. "But I don't know where to begin."

"Ranger loves you," Mare said. "You know he'd do anything for you."

Yeah, like have me committed. "I'm not sure Ranger would do for me what I want to have done for me."

"Huh? You may want to explain that," Mary Lou said.

I sighed. "I told you what he said. If I don't talk to a shrink voluntarily, he'll have me committed."  
"That's bullshit," she said. "He didn't say anything about that. He wants you to get better, not worse."

How would she know what exactly he said? I got an ugly suspicion. "Did you talk to him?"  
Mary Lou blushed and looked down, studying her hands. I gasped. "You did, didn't you?"  
She sighed, still not meeting my eyes. "He called me last night," she almost whispered. "But just because he's so concerned. Yes, he asked me to talk to you, but only because he said you don't listen to him. Don't be mad."

I thought about being mad, but really, what difference would that make? Probably I would have called Mary Lou anyway, right? In any case, the only one I should be mad at was Ranger, not Mare.

"I'm not mad," I said. "But Ranger needs to stop trying to control me."

"How is he trying to control you?" Mary Lou asked. "By suggesting I'd talk to you?"

It was no use, Mare was brainwashed. Probably Ranger had turned on the charms. She'd never doubt he meant what he said. "Forget it," I said.

"For what it's worth, I think he's right," Mary Lou said. "Tell me about yesterday, you must have been so scared."

And suddenly I realize I didn't have to be brave anymore. I didn't have to pretend all was well. This was Mary Lou, my childhood friend, my best friend. I opened my mouth to tell her I was okay, my standard answer, but instead, a sob escaped and before I knew it, I was crying in Mare's arms. It was as if flood gates opened, I didn't even know I'd needed to cry.

Mary Lou just held me, whispering encouraging words I couldn't hear over my sniveling, and patted my back until I calmed down some and was able to breathe again.

"Good thing you're okay," Mare quipped as I blew my nose for the second time. "I'd hate so see you when you're all stressed out."

I grimaced. "I didn't know I had that in me either."

"As long as it's out," she said. "Now we can start fresh. Out with the old!"

She got up and motioned for me to follow. "We need sugar for the next part."

Of course, sugar meant doughnuts. She drove us straight to the Tasty Pastry where we bought two dozen doughnuts, one for us and one for the Merry Men I argued, and then we continued to her house.

It was nice and quiet with the kids gone and we settled ourselves in the kitchen and then Mare made me talk. I mean, she _made_ me! She kept asking questions, and she wouldn't accept 'I don't know' as an answer. The weirdest part was that I felt so much better after I'd said it all.

"You still believe Ranger wants to control you?" she asked. I shook my head slowly.

"I think you should call him and tell him that," she said, taking her portable off its cradle. "I'd bet dollars to doughnuts he's waiting for your call."

I knew the Merry Men gave Ranger constant updates on where I was and how I was doing, so I doubted he needed to hear any of that. But I didn't know if he still wanted to hear from his girlfriend either, after our last conversation the night before. And the preceding one in the hospital, come to think of it.

"Might as well," Mare prompted when she sensed my hesitance. "You know you want to." And she bit into another Boston cream.

No, I didn't think Ranger was trying to control me. It'd taken me an hour to share my feelings with Mare, after I'd told Ranger over and over I had nothing to say. Now that I started, I wanted to continue. Ranger would be harder to talk to than Mary Lou, but if I did it right away, I might not lose my nerve.

Mary smiled at me and touched my arm, lending me her strength, then she got up to give me privacy. I prayed it wasn't too late as I punched his cell phone number in and waited for the ring tone.

faccia di stronzo - a bastard, a son of a bitch

TBC

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A/N: OK, now it's up to you. How should the conversation with Ranger go? Should he be understanding and forgiving? Should he insist she see a specialist and refuse to talk to her until then? What would **you** like to see in the final chapter???? 


	32. Chapter 32

So that's it then. This is the last chapter of 'Faith'. If there's any interest, I'll write an epilogue, but you'll have to let me know, I wouldn't want to impose...

Thank you all so very much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me, your reviews are what kept me writing. I'm glad I was able to take you on this journey with me.

'Keep the Faith' wouldn't have been possible without Stayce. She kept me going when I was ready to give up, she kept brainstorming with me, beta-ing, editing...you name it, Stayce did it. Thanks Babe!

Disclaimer: Still not my characters, but I promise to return them mostly unharmed. The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

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Keep the Faith

Chapter 32

¦lt;/p

Okay, so my life was pretty much a mess. My 'kids', Rex and Bob, were in foster care, with Valerie and Lester respectively, I hadn't caught an FTA in like two weeks and I was trying to find out if I still had a relationship with my boyfriend.

And if that wasn't enough, I had yet to find out who's been trying to shoot at me and leaving threatening messages on my voice mail and sending me weird emails. I was hoping it was the same guy so there was only one psycho to catch.

But on the plus side, I'd just spent an afternoon spilling my guts to my best friend Mary Lou, and that had helped me realize what I had to do to get my life back in order.

I had a plan. Tonight, I was going to collect Rex and Bob and sleep in my own apartment, hopefully with my boyfriend. 

And tomorrow, I was going to go to work on the outstanding FTAs and meet Harry the Hammer who would hopefully help me figure out who wanted me dead. He had connections, I figured, he might know someone who'd heard something.

Overall, I felt pretty good about tomorrow. Not so much about right now though, as the line was ringing and I was praying Ranger was going to pick up the phone. I couldn't believe how fast my heart was beating and how sweaty my palms were, I had to fight the urge to slam the phone down and run screaming out of the kitchen. That urge was silly, of course. That's what a woman who couldn't face up to reality would do… 

"Hello?"

'Hello?'? Since when did Ranger answer the phone with 'hello'? Oh. Mental head slap. I was calling from Mary Lou's landline and he had no way of knowing it was me. I took a deep breath.

"Ranger, it's me."

"How're you feeling?" he asked, and I tried to gauge his tone. Was he happy to hear from me?

"Better than in weeks," I told him, and that was the truth.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said.

Okay, I realized, we were making polite small talk here. Was he waiting for me to tell him something? Was I supposed to apologize?

So it was time for me to step up to the plate. "Can I see you?"  
What? What kind of question was that? It had been out of my mouth before I could stop it, and it had made me sound pathetic. And as if that wasn't bad enough, Ranger didn't reply, I got a hesitating vibe through the phone. What the hell?

"Now's not a good time, Steph," he finally said and I almost fell back into the kitchen chair as I sat down.

I felt as if I'd been sucker punched in the gut, all the air left my lungs, and tiny white dots danced in front of my eyes. No, no, no, no, no, he didn't just say that, I heard him wrong, I had to have. I was struggling with what to say, hell, I was struggling to open my mouth!

"Wh…what?" was what eventually came out, I know I'll never win an eloquence award.

"I'll be in meetings all day," Ranger said, his voice neutral, blank.

Okay, new plan. Since I didn't have a plan in the first place, I sure as hell didn't have a Plan B. I wanted to see Ranger, I had to talk to him in person, we had a _lot _to discuss. I couldn't even begin to scratch the surface on the phone. No, I decided, this had to be done.

"It's important," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Are you okay?" he asked immediately and he sounded concerned now, allowing emotion to show.

I knew he knew I was okay, his men were sitting outside Mary Lou's house and had probably been reporting every change of location since we left my parents' house. It gave me hope that he was obviously concerned for me beyond my physical safety.

"I really need to talk to you," I said, trying hard to stay calm now. I promised myself it was the last time I'd mention it, I would not beg.

I had the mental image of Ranger checking his watch, going over his schedule in his head. It never occurred to me that he'd make up a reason he couldn't see me.

"I finish here in a few hours," he said after a moment's pause. 

"Come to my apartment," I said, surprising myself with the suggestion. "And bring Bob. I'm going home."

"Your place at 6," he said, and then we disconnected. That gave me three hours.

Suddenly I was out of breath, realizing I'd told Ranger what I wanted before I'd admitted it to myself: I needed to be home. Physically, I felt okay, although I'd looked better, and I was sure I could take care of myself. The night before, I'd needed my parents. Earlier today, I'd needed Joe. Now it was time for me to be by myself again.

Well, myself with Ranger. If there still was a Ranger and me, I cautioned, but quickly banned that thought from my mind. I needed to think positively now.

When Mare came back into the room a few minutes later, I straightened my shoulders and gave her a small smile. 

"I have a date tonight," I said. "Mind if I borrow a dress?"  
Mary Lou grinned and hugged me spontaneously. When she pulled back, she studied me for a second. 

"Anything in my closet is yours, you know that," she said. "But may I suggest we start with your hair?"  
My hand flew up to the gauze that was covering what felt like half my head. I'd forgotten all about that. "I need a wig!" I said, picking up the phone again. "I need Sally!"

Mare clamped a hand over her mouth. "Oh my God, no, that's not what I meant! I'm so sorry, Steph, you look fine!"

"No I don't," I said grimacing. "And as my best friend, I expect you to tell me the truth. The best dress won't make a difference if I look like Frankenstein's monster!"

Mary Lou laughed out loud at that and pulled me with her by my elbow as I was punching in Sally's number. 

"Good thing we have the house to ourselves," Mare said, still laughing as we climbed the stairs. "This is going to be a project!"

She got me everything I needed and then left me in the bathroom, where I took a long shower. I shampooed, conditioned, shaved, buffed and then lotioned, all taking me an hour.

After the fog cleared somewhat, I took a critical look in the mirror, a real look this time. They'd shaved off about a third of my hair, and it looked weird. I tried covering the large bald spot where the wound was already healing, but that just made me look like a female Donald Trump. 

"Mare!" I yelled and she surprised me when she threw the bathroom door open less than thirty seconds later.

"What?" she asked.

I recognized the voice and the look, she was in mom mode. I smiled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you."

She waved it off. "What do you need?"  
I handed her a pair of scissors I'd found in a vanity drawer. "I need you to perform the surgery." With that, I sat down on the toilet and closed my eyes. "I'm ready."

"How much of it do you want me to cut off?" Mare asked.

I swallowed. "All of it."

"All of it?" Mare almost screamed.

"That's why I need your help, I can't do it alone. Just so it all looks even, it's the only way."

Mare looked at my hair, probably trying to come up with an alternative. "Okay, I'll try my best. It's already growing back where they shaved it; it's not so bad…" I think she was trying to convince herself and not me, so I kept quiet.

If you've ever seen '16 Candles', you can imagine the scene that played out next. Mare was almost in tears, chanting 'Oh God, Oh God' with every snip, and I had my eyes closed and went to my mental happy place. Although I have to admit being drunk would have helped me find that place a lot.

"I'm going to use the buzzer next," Mary Lou announced, apparently getting over her shock, and I just nodded without opening my eyes. Sally would be here any minute and I was determined not to see myself until I had the wig on.

"Hey, it worked for Britney Spears," Mary Lou said when she'd turned off the buzzer and wiped my neck with a towel. "It's sort of sexy on you."

I snorted. "What did I tell you about honesty?"

Mary Lou giggled nervously and I finally opened my eyes, looking straight ahead to avoid the mirror. 

"A sick part of me wants to take a picture," she said, letting her gaze wander over my scalp. 

I glared at her and resisted the urge to run my hand over my fuzzy head; I didn't want my palm to give my brain any images. I would wear the wig until I had something to work with, and that was that. As far as I knew, that's what Britney Spears did, now that Mare had brought her up.

Mary Lou handed me the robe from the hook on the door. "Wait till you see the outfit I have for you!"

I really didn't know what to expect from that so when Mary Lou led me into her bedroom and showed me the elegant black cocktail dress she'd selected and hung on the outside of her closet door, I was pleasantly surprised. Somehow I'd expected sequins and neon colors, because the last time we'd gotten dressed at Mare's house, it was 1987 and that's what we wore. 

"It's beautiful," I said, running my hand over the satin material. "Is it new?"

Mary Lou nodded. "I bought it a couple months ago hoping to fit into it by summer. That didn't happen, but I think it'll look great on you." She bent down and reached into the closet, producing a pair of black suede, 4"-heeled pumps. "These'll go great with it."

I almost had a mini-orgasm on the spot at the sight of the shoes. They were perfect. Now it was my turn to spontaneously hug Mary Lou. That made it twice we hugged today, more than in the past ten years. It was an emotional afternoon.

"Go ahead, try it on," Mary Lou suggested. "I'll go get us some drinks to get in the mood." She winked and turned to go, just as the doorbell rang. "Guess your hair is here," she said and went downstairs to greet Sally.

I tried on the shoes first because, while the dress was pretty, the shoes were divine. And I hadn't dressed up in way too long; the Jersey Girl in me had been all but hibernating. The pumps fit perfectly, which meant they had to be too big for Mary Lou. I wondered how long ago she'd actually bought them and the dress and made a mental note to ask her about it later. I stood in her white terry bathrobe and the FMPs in front of her bedroom mirror, keeping my eyes firmly on my feet. 

When I heard commotion on the stairs, I hurried back into the bathroom. Not even Sally was going to see me as Telly Savalas!

Mary Lou knocked on the bathroom door moments later. "Are you decent?"

I wrapped a towel around my head and answered the door. "I guess the shoes fit," Mary Lou said smiling with a look at my feet. Shit, I'd forgotten to take them off. Now I really looked ridiculous!

"Killer pumps," Sally said admiringly and high-fived me by way of greeting.

"Thank you for coming so quickly," I said, ignoring their comments as I stepped out of the shoes. "What did you bring?"

Sally looked unusually decent today, in faded ripped jeans and a white t-shirt that had once been advertising AC/DC. If it wasn't for his dangling rhinestone earrings, he would have looked like a regular guy. He took a duffle off his shoulder.

"I brought an assortment," he said. "I didn't know what kind of look you were going for."

I hadn't thought about that at all, I guess I was going for the 'with hair' look. "Not Marilyn," I said, "Nothing fancy. You got anything brunette?"  
Sally looked puzzled. He opened his mouth but Mary Lou shot him a look and shook her head. "It's okay," I said to her. "He was going to find out anyway." I turned to Sally. "I had to shave my head."

I lifted my hand to take the towel off, but stopped short. It was enough to tell him, I really didn't want to see a look of pity in his eyes.

Sally looked like he was searching for the right words, then he gave up and rummaged through his bag. "The closest to brunette I got is red," he said. "Think that will do?"  
He held up a wig with shoulder length, straight, fire-red glossy hair. Mary Lou and I wrinkled our noses in unison. "I don't think so," she said for me. Sally shrugged and got another wig, this one dark blond and short, a little like Mia Farrow. I liked it. 

"Why don't I try them all on," I suggested and held my hand out for the duffle bag. 

Sally nodded. "Sure, let me help you with that."

"Oh no," I was quick to say. "You can put on the finishing touches." I took the bag and closed the bathroom door behind me. 

After trying on all the wigs and almost, almost going with the Cher number, I decided on the Mia Farrow blond after all. I've always wondered what I'd look like with short hair, but was too chicken to get my hair cut. Now I was going to find out, but I wanted a preview.

Sally let out a long whistle when I finally came downstairs, in my black dress, FMP's, complete make-up and pixie style haircut.

"Perfect," he said, and he sounded absolutely sincere.

I turned around slowly and Mary Lou nodded. "Classy," she said and handed me a drink.

I happened to know they were right. After I'd put the wig on, I'd finally dared a look in the mirror. The blond and the short were new, but it looked okay. Then I took some gel to it and the end result wasn't too bad at all. After I'd added three coats o f mascara and the new Berry Berry lipstick, I looked downright sexy, if I did say so myself. I was happy Sally's reaction confirmed it., because I intended to look my best for Ranger.

I took a sip from the drink Mary Lou had handed me. Rum and Coke, perfect. After the first tentative sip, I drowned the rest in one gulp.

"I needed that," I said, putting my glass on the counter in the kitchen. I checked the time on the wall clock and took a deep breath. 

"Wish me luck. And thank you," I said, hugging Mare. Again. "Mare will explain," I told Sally and hugged him, too. "Thank you!"

"Go get him, Tiger," Mary Lou said, holding me tight for a moment. "Good luck!"

"Yeah man, whatever it is, I hope you get it!" Sally said and toasted me with his drink, grinning from ear to ear.

I gave them both a thumbs up, took a deep breath and walked out the front door, straight to the RangeMan SUV parked at the curb. I had two errands to run, and I was short on time. 

The Merry Men were professionals. Hal and Ram were my protectors today and there was no comment about my hair and I didn't expect any. Now, if Lester had been in charge, I'd known for sure whether or not I passed the final test, because he _would_ have commented. As it was, I didn't want to ask the guys, it was done, nothing I could so about it now anyway.

First, we collected Rex from Val's house. There was a minor riot when Mary Alice and Angie didn't want to let Rex go, and I believe I promised them their own hamster for their birthdays just to get them to release mine. I'd deal with that later, I figured, closing my arms protectively around Rex's aquarium.

The guys smiled fondly when they saw Rex. "Taking the rat to headquarters?" Ram asked when I climbed into the back seat behind Rex.

"No, taking him home. I need to go grocery shopping next."

I'd told Ranger to bring Bob, so I didn't have to worry about that, but I knew my fridge and cupboards at home were either empty or their contents spoiled by now. And I was planning to make dinner, all part of the plan, I couldn't worry about being way too dressed up for the Shop'n'Bag right now.

It was nice to have help when grocery shopping, I discovered. Ram took care of all the heavy lifting and loaded the bags into the car, all I had to do was select and pay. 

I got really nervous about two blocks from my apartment. Hal hadn't blinked when I'd told him where we were going, but I had second thoughts. Was I doing the right thing putting everything on the line like this? Was I ready to be home alone again? Only one way to find out, I figured and followed Ram into the building. I was carrying Rex, he was carrying everything else. 

He deposited the grocery bags in the upstairs hallway and did a quick sweep of my apartment while I waited outside. Shit, I realized I hadn't cleaned in there for over a week and I had less than an hour before Ranger would arrive. That meant I had to change, clean, and then…

"All clear," Ram interrupted my thoughts, opening the door wide. He picked up the bags and disappeared into my apartment.

"We're home," I told Rex as I followed Ram. 

Rex was completely underwhelmed by the experience, once in the car, he'd scurried into his soup can and hadn't emerged since. I set him down on the counter, threw a couple raisins and hamster nuggets into his food dish and finally allowed myself to take a look around, assess the damage so to say.

"Ella was here," Ram said matter-of-factly, probably I looked totally confused when I was just surprised.

"That explains it," I said, taking in the spotless kitchen. Everything, absolutely everything, was clean and dust-free, there was no evidence left of the break-in a week ago.

Tears pricked my eyes and I took a couple deep breaths to hold them back, I really didn't want to ruin my make-up.

"You okay?" Ram wanted to know.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Can I get you anything?" My Burg manners coming through.

He gave me a brilliant smile that I think was one of the RangeMan trademarks and shook his head once. "I'll be right outside if you need anything." 

And with that he was gone. And I was alone, trying to get back in touch with a home I'd all but abandoned after the last time it was ransacked. I only had a few minutes for it though, because I still had to get dinner started and make sure I still looked OK for Ranger.

Okay, so I cheated on dinner. Maybe Ranger wouldn't know I got heat & serve lasagna and threw together a big ass salad from the salad bar, maybe he'd think I chopped and diced for hours? Not that it mattered, and I wouldn't lie about it, it was the thought that counted after all. 

I realized I was trying to avoid the actual subject and rushed into the bathroom to check my reflection. Due to the fact that I hadn't done the heavy lifting or the grocery carrying, my hair was still in place and my mascara hadn't run. I re-applied some lipstick and wished myself good luck, just as I heard a knock on the front door. My breath caught in my throat and I was more nervous than on my first date. That was of course because so much more depended on tonight, but that realization didn't help.

I stalked over to the door on legs that felt like stilts, my heart was beating frantically and my palms where sweaty. And since when did he knock anyway? Why didn't he just come in as usual?

I stopped right in front of the door, my hand already on the knob. What if it wasn't Ranger? What if it was one of his men, giving me Ranger's regrets? Would I be able to keep it together?

Only one way to find out…

I turned the doorknob and it seemed like it had never taken this much effort to turn it. I hadn't bothered to lock it since I had a bodyguard right outside and whoever could get past him wouldn't be stopped by any of my flimsy locks. 

A hundred emotions raced through my head in the second it took me to open the damned door and find out who'd knocked. 

Ranger stood in front of me, a couple feet away. I almost laughed out loud. Ranger was bald! He'd shaved his head as well. Unlike me, he hadn't covered it, obviously, and he was still wearing the gauze pad, but if I'd pull off my wig, we'd look comically alike. 

I was so relieved and happy to see him, it took me a moment to discover his blank face. He was dressed in a charcoal grey cotton sweater and black jeans, looking like he just stepped off the cover of GQ, so he had changed for the occasion. But he was also wearing the blank face. Ranger Manoso, master of the mixed signals.

He dropped Bob's leash and Bob rushed past me, into the kitchen, in search of food.

I took a step back to let Ranger enter and he let his eyes wander down my body before he came in, with a last barely there nod to Ram.

His appearance had done nothing to calm my nerves, on the contrary, I was even more on edge, and I hadn't thought that was even possible. This was it, I kept thinking, I had one relationship to save, and this was my chance to do it.

Ranger walked past me into my apartment, he didn't stop for a kiss or to take me into his arms. I swallowed my disappointment and closed the door, praying for the strength to turn around and talk to him.

Bob came galloping back out of the kitchen to slam himself against Ranger, begging to be petted, buying me some time. The pathetic part was that I sort of envied Bob for his courage, I pretty much wanted to do the same thing to Ranger.

"How are you?" I asked Ranger, mentally slapping myself. Lamest conversation starter ever.

Ranger leaned down to pat Bob's side. "I'm alright," he said.

And that's when it hit me, almost physically knocking me back, one thought standing out: Fuck it.

There'd been enough small talk, enough beating around the bush, I couldn't take it anymore. Now or never, once and for all, and whatever other cliché I could think of.

I tried to take a deep breath, but only managed to suck in a little air. "Ranger, I love you." There, it was out. "I don't want to lose you."

I want to tell you I took one timid step toward him and he closed the distance between us and swept me up in his arms, but that's not what happened. Instead, he straightened slowly, our eyes locking and holding.

"Life's not all about what we want," he said philosophically, his eyes never leaving mine.

"No," I admitted. "And you can't make people do what they don't want to do."

I refused to accept all the blame here, he'd pushed us into this corner we were in just as much.

"I like your hair," he said as if he hadn't heard what I'd said.

Damned if he couldn't completely confuse me with such a remark. I had to shake my head a little to stay focused.

Bob apparently didn't like the vibe he was getting, he looked form Ranger to me, then back to Ranger and took off for the living room. To be honest, that's all I wanted to do, too. I hate confrontations and I hated all-or-nothing conversations. But that's what had put me here in the first place, so I had to fight it out.

"I believe you need to get help, saying that you love me doesn't change that," Ranger said. His voice was eerily cold.

My stomach felt like a tight ball of rubber bands that was slowly sinking. "I'm glad you could fit me into your busy schedule then," I said without meaning to. I can't help it if I get sarcastic when I'm desperate.

"Do you want to tell me about today?" Ranger asked. Was it my imagination or was his tone softer?

We were still in the foyer of my apartment. I don't know about Ranger, but I was unable to move, I had to concentrate on breathing in regular intervals.

It was either passing out or talking, so I chose talking. "I talked to Mary Lou and…Joe today."

Ranger moved his head a fraction of an inch, his version of a nod. I knew he knew, but I had to start somewhere. "And I got a lot of things worked out."

Well, technically, I'd identified what needed working out, but that was the same thing. Ranger continues watching me, waiting for me to go on.

"Step one was getting Rex and Bob back and reclaim my apartment," I said, waving my hand in the direction of the living room. "Well, we're here."

"Phase one complete?" Ranger asked, the hint of a smile playing around his lips. So this was going in the right direction.

"Something like that," I said. "Step 2, get back to my job, or jobs if I still work for RangeMan."

I raised my eyebrows at Ranger in a silent question. His expression was back to the blank face.  
"Your employment status hasn't changed," he said. 

I didn't think a government report could have sounded less emotional. But I still had more to cover, there was hope I'd get the real Ranger out.

Actually, I just had one thing left on my to-do list. Better just spit it out and get it over with, avoidance hadn't worked so well for me these last couple weeks.

"Step 3…" I started but couldn't get myself to finish. It sounded too clinical, 'Step 3 is securing my boyfriend'. The steps had worked for the other things I needed to straighten out, but not for my relationship with Ranger. Then I remembered the fourth step and almost laughed out loud with relief. I'd just swap them around until I'd find some courage.

"Step 3 is finding the one or ones responsible for the drive-by shooting and get them behind bars."

That got Ranger's full attention. "I have two teams working on ID'ing the car, they're in close contact with Trenton PD as well. We have a mole in jail who's trying to get close to Hartung and DalBo before they get deported."

"They'll get deported?" This was news to me, but not all that unexpected. As far as I knew, both DalBo and Hartung were in Trenton on a tourist visa and wouldn't even be tried here.

"Don't worry, we'll make sure they go from jail to jail," Ranger said. 

"I'd like to be more a part of the team to find the missing link," I said. "They shot at _me_. They hurt _you_. We need to find them."

He studied me for a long moment. "It's kinda hard to protect you from them if you stick your neck out trying to expose them."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't have to be out on the street. I meant be part of the team, I can do the research, run the checks."

"What's Step 4?" Ranger asked. Nice try at changing the subject.

"I'm on the team or I do my own thing. I won't be shut out from finding them," I kept my voice steady, but it took some effort. True, I wasn't fighting fair, but what the hell. I meant it. 

I knew the last thing Ranger wanted was me out there, but he also knew I'd tried before, and I could lose my bodyguards if I put my mind to it. So I had no intention of taking one unprotected step right now, I didn't have to share _all _my feelings, did I?

Ranger did his version of a sigh, but I thought I saw the beginnings of a smile, too. "Okay," he said.

I'd expected a 'no' so I was ready to argue my point some more. As his 'okay' sank in, I snapped my mouth shut.

"What's Step 4?" Ranger asked again, this time letting his gaze wander from my blond hair to my FMP's and the smile was up to a half-smile. "There has to be a step 4 that explains the outfit."

As his eyes wandered over my body, I'd felt the familiar tingle down my spine and my heart beat had sped up. His words were the equivalent of a cold shower. Or maybe I was imagining things; maybe there hadn't been the undertone that had made me feel cheap?

Fuck it, I was going to go with it. I'm not much of a gambler, but at that moment, I decided to go all or nothing.

"The outfit seemed fit for the occasion." I said, drawing a shaky breath, unable to meet Ranger's eyes. "Step 4 is you. My life isn't complete with out you and I need to know if you still give us a chance."

Easily the hardest thing I'd ever had to say. I felt like downing a couple shots after that one. I don't do sharing my feelings well, but in this case, I felt I had to. Unable to breathe, I waited for Ranger's reaction.

His expression turned to serious, no trace of the smile remained. He stood perfectly still, watching me. 

"Please say something," I said, almost deafened by the silence.

"I did a lot of thinking today," he finally said slowly. 

Last time he'd done that, it had turned out well for us; he'd decided he needed me in his life rather than out of it. I bit my lip in an effort to wait for him to continue and not interrupt him.

"We can't go on like this," Ranger said and the room started spinning, I felt like I was going to pass out. He took a quick step towards me, his hand outstretched, ready to catch me. "Steph!"

A few possibilities of how he'd answer had been running through my mind, but what he actually said wasn't one of them. But I wasn't ready to give up just yet. I just had to keep calm.

I held up my hand, signaling I was okay. "Let's sit down," I suggested and brushed past him into the living room.

"Explain," I said, mimicking one of Ranger's one-word sentences, when he joined me.

He blew out a long breath and I realized this was just as hard for him as it was for me. Talking about our feelings came as easy to us as biking to a fish.

"Like what?" I prodded, unable to give him more time to gather his thoughts. "You can't go on like what?"

"_We_ can't go on like this," he said, turning so he was facing me. "Me trying to get you to do what's best for you and you fighting me tooth and nail. Me loving you and you pushing me away. I can't do this anymore."

To say I was shocked was an understatement. Was that what I'd been doing or was he exaggerating?

"I'm not fighting you," I said when my brain was connected to my mouth again and his words sank in. "Trying to get me to do anything won't work, you have to tell me, talk to me, explain why _you_ think it's the best for me. I know you're trying to help me but it comes across as bossing me around and I can't…" I gestured, trying to find the right word.

"Can't have that?" Ranger suggested, raising one eyebrow. No, not the word I'd been looking for, but he was teasing me, that was good…"I can't read your mind Ranger. Share with me." Okay, that was close enough.

He thought about that for a second. "Maybe you're right," he said. "I can see how you could feel bullied." He rubbed the palm of his hand over his chin. "Old habits die hard, I guess. My men just follow orders; I don't need to explain them."

I smiled and leaned against his shoulder. "Maybe I should join the Army to learn how to follow without argument."

Ranger snorted and draped his arm around my shoulders. "You'd quit after a day."

Okay, I'd lightened the mood. I hadn't meant to, but it worked for me. Light mood I could do. Tension made me nauseous. Except there was more to what he'd said and I needed to address it, and it was everything but light…

"And I never push you away," I said, snuggling closer against him.

We were both quiet for a minute, digesting what the other had said. And at least for me it boiled down to one common denominator: Misunderstanding. We'd read each other's signals wrong, we misinterpreted what the other said and we were a pair of idiots for not talking sooner!

I slung my leg over Ranger's lap and put my arms around his neck, bringing us eye to eye.

"I want you in my life because you're the best man I know. I love you and I want to be with you. I trust you."

It sounded like I was speaking my vows at a wedding ceremony, but I didn't care, the situation called for serious words. 

"I was wrong to think you had anything but my safety in mind, but you need to make an effort to make sure I understand what you want."

Ranger waited a moment to make sure I was finished, then he wrapped his arms around my waist. "I should have known better than to try and force you to do what I wanted. I guess I was desperate. But it never occurred to me that not having you in my life was an option."

He brushed his lips over mine. "And I love you."

I took a deep breath. Not that I wanted to spoil the mood or anything, but I had to have closure. "So, we're good?"

Ranger smiled and rested his forehead against mine. "Yeah, we're good."

"No more ultimatums? No more bullying?"  
"No more running away, no more tantrums?"

That sounded like a fair trade to me. "No more," I confirmed.

He pulled me closer to him so our hips were flush. "Then I now pronounce us lovers."

Obviously, I wasn't the only one who'd gotten the vow vibe. I snorted before I tightened my arms around him. "Forever and ever."

"Amen!" and I kissed him for all I was worth!

The End

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A/N: So what do you think? Do you need extra closure in an epilogue? If so, what do you want to see happen?


	33. Chapter 33

This is it. While it took me a lot longer than planned, the story is now complete, this is its last chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, but even if you didn't, I'd love to hear from you.

It's a little longer than I had planned, but I hope I managed to wrap everything up.

Thank you all so very much for joining me on this ride. I appreciate your reviews and feedback, they're what's keeping me going.

'Faith' wouldn't have been possible without Stayce's help, thank you girlfriend. Thank you for the edits, the brainstorming and the kicks in the ass...you're the best!

Disclaimer: Still not my characters, but I promise to return them mostly unharmed. The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi

* * *

Keep the Faith

Epilogue

"You think I look like an alien??"

I guess the look on my face was pretty funny, at least it made Lester crack up. "No, Sweetheart," he said, trying to catch his breath. "I said you remind me of Sigourney Weaver in 'Alien'. Big difference." He ran a hand over my short-short hair. "I like it. Kinda sexy."

It had been two weeks since I had Mary Lou all but shave my head bald. There was half an inch of fuzz on my scalp that looked like it already wanted to go curly. Today was the first day I'd come to the RangeMan office without my wig because I was planning on working out before starting on the background checks. And naturally, that made today the day I ran into Lester on my way to the gym.

Of course I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my hair, or lack thereof, from Ranger's men until it was back to shoulder length, but still, a little longer would have been nice. No one had asked questions when I appeared with a blond pixie cut one morning. Being men, I don't know if they'd even thought about it much, but if they had, they didn't bring it up to me, it was just accepted.

Lester touched the tip of my nose with his index finger. "Really sexy, actually."

He sometimes reminded me of Joe back in the day, everything about a girl was sexy when he was in the mood. I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell anyone, okay? I'm not ready yet."

Lester glanced up at the ceiling. Right at the security camera. "Sorry Darling, too late for that."

Ungh, mental head slap. I worked at a security company and had forgotten about the cameras.

"You know what I mean," I tried to recover and Lester snickered.

"Is this some kinky 'Mr. and Mrs.' thing you and Ranger have going on?" Lester asked, jumping away from my slapping hand.

I continued my way into the gym smiling. It wasn't kinky, but Ranger and I certainly looked more alike than usual these days.

At the time, I'd had a lot on my mind so I couldn't appreciate the irony, but Ranger and I had shaved our heads the same day. He showed up at my apartment completely bald hours after my shoulder length hair had been reduced to stubble. We both had suffered head injuries and style unconscious doctors had seen it fit to shave the parts around them to tend to the wounds, for some reason. Okay, so I knew the reason, it still bordered on barbaric, the way they just buzz-cut a third of my head.

Of course on Ranger, it did look sexy. But then again, I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't look good on him. I loved his long black hair, the way I could run my fingers through it, but as it had turned out, my fingers quickly found other places to roam.

After Mary Lou, Ranger had been the first one to see me 'without' hair. The wig had slipped off five minutes after he'd thrown me onto my bed. I was trapped under him at the time, so I couldn't run and hide in the bathroom, but that hadn't been necessary anyway. Ranger had smiled the full-on smile, run his thumb over my cheek as his eyes took in the new me, and simply said, "I love you."

And although I knew we'd tease each other plenty later, at that moment, it had been the perfect thing to say.

I turned the treadmill to 3.5 mph and started walking, going over the past two weeks in my mind. Four things had been on my to-do list then, and only one remained now.

For starters, I'd taken Rex and Bob back into my custody and moved back into my apartment after a few weeks of mayhem.

Second, with Harry's help, I'd found out who was behind the shooting that had cost Ranger his hair, and it had been very anti-climactic to find out that they were just two more of DalBo's lackeys, unable to think or act on their own, just following orders they'd received. I'd passed the 'anonymous' tip on to Trenton PD and the two were arrested. I swear I have no idea why the judge denied bail and they were still sitting in Trenton's nice jail awaiting their trial. These two were American, so they'd be tried here and hopefully sent away for a long time, attempted murder should do the trick.

A week ago, I had to appear in court to give my version of the day DalBo had tried to kidnap me at the deli. It was what he'd been arrested for, but it was only one part of the laundry list of charges against him.

The day at the deli had cost me _my_ hair and I intended to get retribution.

It was a lot easier than I had anticipated. For one thing, DalBo wasn't scary when Ranger was sitting a few feet away from me on the visitor's bench. And he hadn't stalked me or creeped me out, he was just an asshole, not high on the psycho scale. It's sad, but 'normal' criminals hardly freak me out anymore.

Ranger had advised me not to even look at DalBo, but to look at the lawyer or the judge or him at all times, and that had worked.

I had to take my wig off and show the judge just how close to essential body parts the bullet had scraped me, so I had been very grateful it had been a closed hearing and not a public trial with cameras and reporters.

I'd been so nervous that I almost laughed with relief when all I had to do was answer questions about what happened when, and Ranger told me later I had painted the perfect picture of innocent Lester and Steph being attacked by the evil German while having lunch and minding nothing but their own business. I guess I forgot to mention that we were checking out the deli because DalBo was one of its most frequent customers. I was under a lot of stress, one tends to forget things when stressed out, right?

Jaime, who'd worked at the deli at the time, confirmed my story, although we hadn't had a chance to talk beforehand. It looked like a slam dunk, but unfortunately all it did was deny them bail until they'd be shipped home. I'd really wanted to be there when they lock the assholes up, preferably for life.

I'd been taken off the list of possible suspects in Guzzarella's murder, so I knew neither DalBo nor his henchman Hartung could harm me by falsely accusing me.

Carl Costanza told me that DalBo's father tried to work his connections from Germany, but had failed. I had Harry to thank for that, I was sure. Both DalBo and Hartung would be deported back to Germany and Harry had promised me he'd send word, whatever that meant. I was just waiting for the day when I didn't have to share a country with them anymore. According to my cop friends, my testimony helped seal the deal, DalBo would be accused of attempted kidnapping and attempted murder.

I somehow knew Harry was helping a lot more than he'd admit to. I'm not very 'connected', but I can imagine how much work it takes to keep Family members from infiltrating the prison, get an inmate out on bail and such. But for me that meant I owed Harry. He didn't think so, but I felt like he'd done a lot more for me than I'd done for him.

And that's part of the reason why I was here, at the gym, at the ungodly hour of 8 AM.

Ranger had left my apartment after being called at 5:30, there was a break in at one of his accounts. With a quick kiss and an 'I'll see you at work', he was gone. I wanted to turn over and get some more sleep, but something about the phone call and him leaving had put a train of thought in motion, and it was still running.

Harry had asked me to keep Joyce away from Vinnie. As it turned out, Harry had accepted Vinnie's pervert-ness in all other aspects but not where it came to Joyce Barnhardt. Smart man.

Since I hated Joyce, it was more of a project than a duty to come up with a way to separate her from Vinnie.

I mean, I had been all excited about the task, until I put my mind to it and could only come up with two ideas. One had been to hire a hooker, but I figured with my luck, the madam would send one that just happened to be even more perverted than Joyce, and Vinnie would be in love. I couldn't chance that.

The other idea, I was working my way up to. Hence the workout. I know that doesn't make sense, but it was too early in the day to drink and Ranger always told me how a good workout did all these things for your body and mind and I needed some help.

I'd suggested it once already, but it had been received as a joke and forgotten. So, yeah, it had been sort of a joke, but now it wasn't anymore. I wanted to be even with Harry after he'd helped me get rid of a major pain in the ass.

And Ranger had to help me. As soon as I'd work up the courage to ask him in a way that he knew I was serious, that was.

I upped the speed on the treadmill, trying to come up with a plan. The whole idea was insane, of course, but it was the only one I had.

A half hour later, I was drenched in sweat and still hadn't formulated a plan. Too much depended on Ranger's reaction when I asked him to pretend to seduce Joyce.

After I'd taken a shower up on the seventh floor and gotten a cup of coffee, I took a deep breath and marched right into Ranger's office. Now or never and all that crap.

He was sitting behind his desk, studying a file in front of him. When I entered, he looked up and his mouth quirked up in a smile.

"I'd like to think I put that look on your face, but since I left four hours ago, I'm assuming you had a good gym session." He got up and met me halfway, wrapping his arms around me. "Although I'm almost finished here…"

God, I couldn't do this if he was tempting me like this! He brushed his lips over mine, pulling me closer, and my insides turned to mush. Never mind that I'd had him all night long, I could never get enough Ranger.

"I can't," I said, putting my palms on his chest to keep some distance between us. "I need your help."

"Okay," Ranger said. "Let me finish up here and I'll meet you for brunch at 11 in my apartment?"  
From the wolf grin he was displaying I had a feeling eating wouldn't be a large part of said brunch, but I had no objections to a nooner either. As long as it came after 'the talk'.

"Actually, I hope to have some good news for you by then," he jerked his head over his shoulder, indicating his desk.

"DalBo?" I guessed.

He nodded. "Let me put it all together so I have the whole picture. See you at 11?" He kissed me and suddenly, the talk could wait, as long as I could get his lips onto mine again.

"Eleven," I confirmed and cupped his ass with both my hands for a beat before I let him go. "See you there."

The wolf grin deepened as he slapped my ass when I turned. I thought about pretending to be offended, but I knew Ranger wouldn't fall for that anyway, so I just winked at him and sashayed out of his office.

I sat down at my desk, powered up my desktop and took the first file out of my Inbox. The good thing about running background checks is, you don't have to pay all that much attention to them. You type the person's name right, and the computer does all the rest. Then you print out the findings and start with the next. It's a perfect job when you have more important things to think about.

Really, it was Ranger's fault. The idea, that is. He was the one who'd told Joyce he would ruin me for all other men, and Joyce always had to have what I had. The way he told me about his little white lie to get Joyce off my back, the tone in his voice, had made me believe him absolutely, long before I had a chance to…uhm…confirm his claims.

Of course I wouldn't share him with any woman, much less with Joyce, I'd kill her before I'd let him touch her. But he was my only solution to the problem. You see my predicament?

I sighed and fed the next search parameters into the computer. Unlike many of my problems, this one was my own fault. Harry had told me in no uncertain terms that as far as he was concerned, we were even. The trouble was, I didn't agree. Ranger and his men had overwhelmed the intruders who had invaded Harry's compound, not me. I hadn't done anything besides getting shoved into the basement and knocking Tank unconscious.

No, blame it on my Burg upbringing, a deal was a deal, and I still owed Harry my end of it. It was the last loose end I had to tie up before I could move on.

I had to move on. Joe had been killed eight months ago. Every time I thought about the deal with Harry, I was reminded what prompted me to call him in the first place and I remembered that time as the worst of my life: the week after Joe died. Closure was long overdue. I owed it to myself, and I owed it to Ranger, he deserved all of me.

"Is that all?"

I jumped at the sound of Lester's voice and his apparent ability to read my mind. But when I turned around, he just happened to be standing next to my cubicle, he was looking at a report and talking to Bobby.

I mentally rolled my eyes at my paranoia and hurried to finish up the searches before lunch. I wanted to get it all done, since with any luck, I wouldn't be returning later.

Lester winked at me on his way back to his station and sent me his brilliant smile. He was healthy again after getting shot and beaten up while trying to protect me. Unfortunately, he hadn't lost his sense of humor through any of it and he was one of my best friends at RangeMan.

That's why his reaction to my new…uhm…hairstyle had meant a lot. 'Kinda sexy', I could live with that.

Ranger wasn't the only one who'd healed well, I was healthy again, too. My head wound hadn't required stitches, and once the scabbing was done and the hair grew back, no one would know there was even a scar. The cuts and bruises that had made me look like a bomb attack victim had all healed. I still had occasional dizzy spells, but I figured if I ignored them long enough, they too would go away. It wasn't something I wanted to waste a doctor's time with.

Ranger's stitches had come out the week before and his hair was already trying to cover what was left of the almost bullet hole. It still made me shiver when I thought about that moment. I had been sure he was dead, and when I learned just how close the bullet had come to entering his head, I got dizzy.

I shook my head to clear it, I couldn't be having those thoughts! No more what-if's! Ranger had gotten hurt before and probably would get hurt again, if I focused too much on that truth, I'd prove his earlier theory, that his life didn't lend itself to relationships, right, and that so wasn't true!

At a quarter of eleven, I finished the last request and logged off my computer. Even if I didn't end up spending the rest of the day with Ranger, I had a couple outstanding FTAs that I wanted to take care of in the afternoon.

I said my goodbyes to Cal and Woody at the monitors as I passed them on my way out and walked over to the elevator. Lester wasn't at his desk; I didn't even know if he was still in the building, it was hard to keep track of the merry Men.

When I got off the elevator on the seventh floor, Ella was just leaving Ranger's apartment.

She greeted me with a warm smile. "How are you today, Steph? There's _mousse au chocolat_ for dessert."

I returned her smile. "That sounds wonderful," I said as my mouth watered. "Thank you so much." I held the elevator doors open for her and she smiled her thank you before they closed.

With a last deep breath, I keyed the apartment door open.

As I'd expected, Ranger was already in the apartment. He was standing in the dining room, filling the wine glasses. I was ready to just delay the inevitable and have fun with him instead, wine for lunch almost certainly meant he was planning on taking the afternoon off.

But I'd put it off for too long, today was the day I'd set myself as the deadline, I would talk to Ranger _today_. And it had been part of my gym resolution this morning.

"Welcome," Ranger said, putting the bottle down and turning to me. "I hope you're hungry. I know I am." The wolf grin spread over his face.

He walked toward me and put his arms around my waist. "I have a lot to make up for, since I had to leave too early this morning."

He nuzzled my neck as he spoke and I allowed myself this moment to relax into him. I knew what he meant. When there were no interruptions, Ranger always woke me in the nicest way and we had slow, incredibly romantic morning sex.

I sighed and slowly placed my hands on his chest, not pushing him away, but keeping the distance. "There's something I need to talk to you about…"

"Me too, but I thought maybe it can wait," Ranger said, his mouth on my ear now.

He once told me I kept surprising him, but he did the same to me. Ranger always wanted to do business first, pleasure later. And since I knew he wanted to talk about developments regarding DalBo, it was doubly surprising. It was nice to get reassurance Ranger was still human after all.

"It can't wait," I said, and I made no effort to hide my disappointment. "I've put it off for too long already."

And the mood was broken. Ranger pulled back to look at me and raised an eyebrow. "Is everything okay?"

Poof, there went my courage. Just like that. "I am kinda hungry," I said and tried to free myself from his embrace. He didn't let me. I should have known better than to stall for time.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

I finally mustered up the courage to look up at him. "Lester saw me without my wig today."

He smiled. "So he saw the real beautiful you?" He bent down and kissed my nose. "Nice try, I know that's not it."

Damned ESP. I bit my lip and finally spit it out. "I need a favor."  
"Anything, you know that," Ranger said and I could tell he knew that wasn't the issue.

"I've asked you once before but you never gave me an answer," I said and started running my fingertip over his chest to avoid eye contact.

Ranger caught my hand in his and stooped down to look me in the eye. "Babe."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "It's Joyce. You need to make Joyce believe you want her."

"I thought Harry…" Ranger started but I cut him off.

"Harry doesn't think I owe him, but I do. And it's Joyce, I have a personal interest in pissing her off. Will you help me?"

Ranger's mouth curved into a slow smile. "I thought you didn't want me anywhere near her?"

He'd loosened his grip on me and I managed to turn and twist out of his arms. I walked over to the dining table and loaded up my plate with ziti, chicken and broccoli, then I sat down and started eating. Ranger let me have this slight delay and sat down in the opposite chair, taking a sip from his wine before filling his plate up, too.

It didn't work, I couldn't eat. It was ridiculous how much this had consumed me, it really had to end. I took a deep breath. "I have a plan."

Ranger raised an eyebrow again and almost smiled, I was grateful he didn't make a comment about the usual outcome of my plans. "Let's hear it."

So I told him. I hadn't worked it all out just yet, but I was making it up as I went and I liked it better by the minute.

"You sure about this?" Ranger asked when I'd finished.

No, not really. But it was all I had, so…"Kinda."

This brought a chuckle from him. "Starting tomorrow?"

I nodded. "If you're in."

Ranger tossed his napkin on the table and got up. He walked over and squatted next to me. "What's in it for me though?"  
He waggled his eyebrows and I had a pretty good idea of what he expected as 'payment'. I love debts that make me sing the hallelujah chorus while paying them!

I put my finger to my lips, pretending to think. "Uhm…a shiny nickel?"

Ranger snorted and straightened, then he took my hand and dragged me with him to the bedroom. "Did I tell you I took the rest of the afternoon off?"

Can I plan or what? I had emptied my inbox and logged off my computer, I'd effectively taken the afternoon off, too. Of course Ranger was never really offline, his men knew they could always reach him in case of emergency. They always made sure it really was an emergency because if they interrupted something and Ranger found out they could have handled it on their own…well let's just say Ranger _really_ treasured our alone time. I haven't kept count, but I think since we got together, Ranger has smashed at least two cell phones to smithereens.

He led me to the bedroom, tossed his cell phone and pager onto the nightstand, and took both my hands in his.

"Doesn't the payment usually come after services are rendered?" I asked, barely keeping a straight face.

"This is one of those services you have to pay up front for," he replied without hesitation and sent me his 100-Watt smile as his hands ran up and down my arms.

"What if I'm not happy with the services?" I asked, really getting into this game.

"You'll get a refund," Ranger said and kissed me.

The kiss started slow and playful, just the tip of his tongue playing with mine. But then, with a low growl, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him, deepening the kiss.

I linked my fingers behind his head and plastered myself against him, molding every part of my body to his.

Ranger loosened his grip and let his hands wander over my back, down to my ass, cupping it. Then they wandered back up and with one swift movement, he had my wig off and on the floor. For some reason, it was always the first thing he did now, as if to prove he preferred me the way I was.

Without breaking the kiss, he lifted me up until I could snake my legs around his hips, so that we were groin to groin and I could feel his length through the fabric of his cargos against my core.

"Too many clothes," he whispered, his mouth less than an inch from mine, his hands pulling my shirt free.

He turned and I gasped when he dropped me onto the bed without warning. His smile was definitely predatory when he leaned down, opened the button on my jeans and pulled down the zipper.

I tried to reach up and unbutton his shirt, but he caught my hand in his. "My payment, my turn," he said and winked.

Who was I to argue with that? I knew I'd get my opportunity later so I didn't have a problem with just lying back and enjoying Ranger's roaming hands.

I lifted my hips so he could pull my pants off. He knelt on the mattress and kissed each exposed inch of skin; I was writhing beneath him by the time he reached my knees. I could feel him smile against my skin when he placed both his hands on my hips to keep me down.

"We have all afternoon," he murmured and continued kissing his way down my legs.

My skin was burning under his touch and I was sure I was going to explode at any second, and still Ranger held me down and took his time. He scooted back, lifted first one leg and then the other, freeing me of my socks. Then he kissed my toes, my feet, my ankles…  
"Please…" I said, almost out of breath, my heart beating a mile a minute.

"You owe a _lot_…" was Ranger's only response as he quickly pulled his shirt over his head and lowered himself back down.

He was within my arms' reach then and I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him up to me gently. He smiled and complied, molding his body to mine, sneaking his hand under my shirt even as he closed my lips with his.

I moaned into his mouth when his finger brushed over my nipple through the satin of my bra, and when he pushed the fabric aside, I arched into his hand. He spread his hand over my breast then, gently kneading, while his tongue explored my mouth.

A frustrated gasp escaped my mouth when Ranger removed both his hand and his mouth at the same time, and I was about to complain when I realized he just needed to separate us to get rid of my shirt.

Ranger smiled at my impatience and slid his hands under me, lifting me up just a little as he lowered his mouth to my nipple and I inhaled sharply at the sensation. A low tingle emanated from my breast, down my stomach straight to my center. I raked my fingernails over his back, pressing him to me, grinding my hips against his.

He circled his tongue around the nipple once, twice, three times, until it pebbled at the touch, and then he repeated it on the other nipple before he kissed his way down my rib cage and settled himself between my legs. He hooked a finger under my panties and pulled them off, making even that a caress in and by itself.

When he wanted to, Ranger could draw out foreplay for hours, teasing me, getting me this close to the edge only to shift positions, then finding a new way of heating me up. That had been last night. Today, he seemed just as impatient as I was, when I reached down to loosen his belt and button, he pulled back willingly to give me the necessary room. And that gave me the idea to tease him for a change.

"It's not really fair you do all the work for the payment I owe you," I said and wrapped my arms around him as I pulled myself up.

I flipped us, not because of any swift movement, but because Ranger let me, and ended up straddling him. I balanced my weight on my knees and shimmied his pants down further, Ranger did the rest by pushing them off. He smiled up at me as I splayed my hands palms down on his abdomen and pushed up, teasing his nipples for a moment before stretching out on top of him, kissing him.

He ran his hands up from my hips, holding me to him, deepening the kiss. Our tongues danced and I felt the heat curl up inside me, setting me on fire. I withdrew then, slowly getting back into a sitting position and smilled down at him. I pushed one bra strap off my shoulder then the other, and when Ranger tried to grab me, I pulled back, just out of his reach. Slowly swaying as if I was hearing music, I circled my hips slowly, just brushing his cock with my wet folds, then I reached around me and undid the hooks, letting my breast push the bra, but not taking it off.

Ranger's eyes darkened to almost black as he reached up, pulled the bra free and cupped my breast. I gasped and bent down, slowly planting wet kisses down his neck, around his nipples, on his abs. He took me by the shoulders, trying to pull me back up, but I shook my head and parted his legs with my knee, settling myself on my elbows.

When I took his fully erect length in both my hands, Ranger's hands fell to his sides as he grasped the sheet.

"Dios," he gasped as I slowly lowered my mouth, circling my tongue round the tip before plunging down as far as I could take him.

I cupped his balls with one hand, squeezing them lightly, holding his shaft tight with the other, when I moved up again, letting my tongue run the length of his cock.

His thigh muscles started trembling with the effort to constrain himself and I smiled, enjoying the power.

"You like that?" I purred as I took him in my mouth again, sucking harder this time, applying more pressure to the base.

Ranger mumbled something I couldn't understand and tried to pull me up again, but I 'silenced' him by picking up the speed. I knew exactly what he liked and before long, I felt his hard length pulsating in my hand. That's when I stopped and gave him the shortest of breathers, while I positioned myself on top of him. I used one hand to guide his cock right into me, and now it was my turn to gasp as he filled me wholly.

"Steph, I can't…" Ranger pressed out, but I didn't stop. This one was for him, I knew there would be a later.

"Shhhh," I soothed, lifting my hips slightly, flexing my pelvic muscles as I eased myself down again.

Ranger was all but panting now, his grip on my hips would leave bruises for sure, and I could feel the pressure build in me. But I didn't want him to wait for me, I wanted him to lose control, so I bent forward, my palms flat on his chest and as I lifted my hips up and back down again, I bit his shoulder, hard enough to leave dents. He came so hard I could feel his hot seed spilling inside of me and that gave me a satisfaction second only to an orgasm. I did this! I made Ranger let go completely.

I went completely still then, my head on his chest, listening to his rapid heart beat. His arms around me, his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Now you have a credit," he whispered after a couple minutes, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I don't like to carry a balance…" I said, slowly rolling off of him.

And then we spent the next few hours evening out the balance, never getting it quite right until it was time for dinner. Which meant we had to take a shower. Which led to hot shower sex that made me forget my name. Considering the day had started on the crappy side, it had turned into the best day ever.

Ranger made his 'famous' stir fried vegetables for dinner, the dish that always makes me wonder how something without meat can taste so good, and we finished the wine. If I had to sum up the mood that night, it would be with one word, happy. I was with the man I loved, we were both healthy, had just had mind-blowing sex, and he fed me. It doesn't get any better than that in my book. And that was the best preparation for the day that followed.

I was sitting in my Hummer, idling at the curb in front of the bonds office, trying to give myself a little pep talk. It had been my idea, and Ranger and I had worked out the details, so it would work, I was sure of it. But a lot depended on it and if something wrong, I might never dare to look at Lula and Connie ever again.

I took a final deep breath, killed the engine and got out of the car. Hoisting my shoulder bag up, I straightened and walked into the office.

"Hey Conn, how are you?" The smile on my face already hurt, I was too nervous.

"Got a new skip for ya," Connie said and held up a file. "Came in last night, not worth much, but not armed either."

I took the file from Connie, signed my part of the apprehension agreement and stuffed the folder into my bag.

"That makes it three, I better get going," I said, already turning to go. Okay, so I usually stayed for a little chat, but there were days when I was in and out, it wasn't that unusual. Right?  
"Everything okay?" Connie asked. Shit.

"Sure. I just want to get started, I've had John Sturrock for almost a week now."

The phone rang and diverted Connie's attention, and I was off the hook. I speed walked back to my car and practically lunged inside.

"Real smooth," Ranger's voice said in my ear.

"Shut up," I told him, but without any heat, I knew he was right.

I think Ranger only agreed to wear the mike and the ear peace because he knew the curiosity would kill me, I had to know what he was doing or I'd go insane.

Following the plan, I drove away from the bonds office, although I had no intention on going after an FTA until this was over, I could hardly concentrate on driving the few blocks to iHop, where we'd agreed to meet.

I sat down at a table, ordered a coffee and pressed the ear piece further into my ear; I didn't want to miss a thing. I didn't have to wait long, after a couple minutes, I heard the click that signaled Ranger had turned on his mike again.

"I'm going in," he said and then, I assumed to whoever was with him in his car, "This won't take long."

I was so nervous I sloshed the coffee all over the table when I tried to pick up the cup. Of course this was ridiculous, I knew it, too, but I couldn't help it. In a way, this was the first plan I had come up with that Ranger was executing, I had stage fright!

I heard Ranger greet Connie and talk to her about an FTA, then he asked, "Is Vinnie in?"

Connie said he was and to go right in.

I wiped up the coffee with some napkins and tried to look normal, not insane like I felt. I'd picked the iHop because they didn't know me here and wouldn't think it was unusual for me not to order the big breakfast, just coffee.

"Vinnie, I need to talk to you," Ranger said and I sat up straight in anticipation.

"Sure thing, Ranger, what can I do for you?"

"Actually, it's something I want you to stop doing," Ranger said, and his voice had turned icy.

I could practically see Vinnie squirming as I imagined the look that went with the voice. He must have just nodded, since the mike didn't pick up a response. All I could hear was the rustle of clothes for a beat.

"You're poaching in my territory," Ranger said.

"Huh?" Vinnie said. "What do you mean? If it's about your cut, it's all fair and square, you see the amount when you sign…" Vinnie was rambling. Oh yeah, Ranger was giving him the killer look.

"Joyce," Ranger said. "Stay away from her."

"Joyce?" Vinnie asked. "Joyce? I though you and Steph…"  
"That's none of your business," Ranger cut him off. "I hear Joyce is in your office with the door closed ever again, they'll need dental records to identify your body. Am I making myself clear?"  
A strangled nose from Vinnie was the response. I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep the giggles in.

"Does Steph kn…"  
"No!" Ranger barked. "And she won't know any more than Lucille does. Consider this your only warning. I'll be watching you."

Then I heard the door slam and Ranger wishing Connie a nice day. I let out a long breath. Ranger's part was done. Now we had to check if the plan was working.

I got my cell phone out of my bag and dialed Joyce's number. "Joyce, it's Steph," I said when she answered. And without any pleasantries, I went on.

"Just so you know, the new high bond FTA, Chris Cleaver, is mine, Vinnie already signed the contract over, so don't try anything funny!"

"We'll see about that," Joyce just said and hung up.

Ranger and I had agreed to meet at the diner after everything was over, but I couldn't wait and sit on my hands any longer. I paid for my coffee and sprinted out of the restaurant, peeling out of the parking lot with screeching tires.

Ranger's SUV was parked across the street from the bonds office, about half a block away. I parked behind him and got out my binoculars.

Just as planned, Joyce's Cherokee pulled up not twenty minutes later and she marched into the bonds office like a woman on a mission. I held my breath.

Before I turned blue from oxygen deprivation, Joyce came back out of the office, her face red, her mouth moving, I was surprised I couldn't hear her rant from where I was. She got into her car and cut into oncoming traffic as she drove off.

It worked! It worked!! I scrambled out of my car and ran to Ranger's, just as I saw him get out of the passenger side. I launched myself at him and he caught me, holding me to him.

"Thank you," I said breathlessly, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." And I peppered his face with kisses.

He laughed and put me down on the ground again. "You're welcome."

I slung my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me, smiling. "I think you deserve a bonus."

And then I kissed him, public or not, for all I was worth.I felt happy and free, no more deals and promises to be taken care of hanging over my had, and I was in love.

The End

* * *

A/N: Ende, finis, basta, that's it. What do you think? Was everything properly resolved? Do you have an idea for a sequel??


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